Adults who have never lived all by themselves. / myLot

November 10, 2023 9:47pm CST

Are you one of these people? I have given this a lot of thought lately. Some people reach retirement and beyond, and have never, ever lived alone. I can't imagine this, but years ago I guess it wasn't a thing to be a woman and get your own place after you finished your schooling. You lived with your parent or parents. My children's grandparents are 91 and 92. They have been married over 70 years. She lived at home with her parents until she was the ripe old age of 19, and then married. After a time, he went to Korea, so then she moved back with her parents again. She had a baby while her husband was gone, and stayed with her parents until he came back home. And so their life went, 4 children and many years, now of course they still are fortunate to have each other. Their mobility issues have put them in assisted living, which they surprisingly love--they were tired of ordering meals, etc. and not able to really cook much with their health issues. Now they appear to be truly failing. Him, not so much, but she has been frail for years now. There has been much discussion among the family of ''when one of them goes'' because no one can imagine the other one being alone. They've been married so long, they pretty much can read each other's mind by this point! And she has never, ever lived alone, at 92 years old. My very elderly neighbor Dale, that I have discussed here, is nearly 90. His wife died last year. He told me he has never lived alone--they married at 18, both leaving their parent's home to live with each other. He has no idea how to really function without her. I think it's a good thing to know that you can manage by yourself if you have to. I am glad that I can do that. A school friend of mine lost her husband last week. She has never lived alone, either. Now she has to, and she is just lost. She is having her mother, who is 90, stay with her for a few weeks until she can hopefully get adjusted to being alone. How about you? Have you lived alone? Would you struggle with it??

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18 responses

Juliaacv

@Juliaacv (53332)

• Canada

11 Nov 23

What a very interesting topic to discuss. I am one of those who have never resided alone. I went from high school to work for a year, in a town near our home, and then to college, again, in a city near to our home, and then began working, in that same city. It was during my college days that I met my sweet hubby and he was also just starting out, living at home with his siblings and his mother-his father had passed already. We dated for a few years before we got engaged and a year later married. Our son has spoken with both of us, that he and his wife are prepared to have one of us come and live with him when the other goes first. He jokingly told us that if Dad goes first he will only need to have me live with him for a short time as he cannot see me surviving his passing more than a week. I think that he sees me as weak and dependent, but we have been married for 36 years and that is alot of my life.

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Juliaacv

@Juliaacv (53332)

• Canada

11 Nov 23

@MarieCoyle He is such a generous and loving son. We lost his sister, to heart disease when she was an infant, and it has always been just the 3 of us, and we have such a very tight bond. I am very thankful that our daughter-in-law loves us as much as she does, because if she did not, I do not think that we would be welcome. When we were first married my hubs would work 2 weeks of day shift and 2 of the afternoon shift. I never ate very well when he was on the afternoon shift, because I never had the heart to sit at the table without him. I always stayed awake until he came home on Friday nights because we missed each other so much.

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