Black Sheep

You know I'm the black sheep and my sister is the golden child. It was abundantly clear growing up and by the time I was in college I stopped letting it break my heart and just accepted it for what it was. After Dad passed my mother and I made much more of an effort but that has since slowed. We were supposed to go out for lunch today but I was just too sick overnight. I'm sure she is pissed but it isn't like I wanted to have an awful night.

I remember getting upset with my Dad when I was in my early 20's because he was pushing me too hard. And I made the point to him, to which he replied that I was his smartest child, and that he loved me dearly, of the 4 of us, and that he wanted to see me go further. I remember feeling defeated, yet my husband heard exactly what my Dad was telling me. I continued to push myself, and whenever I received praise, in the form of a good review or a raise at work, my first person to tell was always Dad. My mother was never close to me because of the independence that my Dad instilled in me. She could coddle my 3 brothers, which continued the cycle of them being needy. That drove us apart, and as long as I can remember we were distant. Tomorrow will be her four year anniversary, but it feel like much longer since we technically lost her when the dementia took over-but you know how that goes. And although not a golden child, I had endless love and support from my Dad until July 4, 2009 and from my sweet Gramma until she passed in 1982. And somehow, the love and all of the life lessons that they both passed down to me, and the patience that they exercised while teaching me those lessons over shadows the negativity and put downs from my mother. And as difficult as it was, I learned more about parenting from her, than anyone. I learnt how NOT to act or treat my family. I have vowed never to be like that and have asked my husband and son to consider MAID (medically assistance in dying) should dementia take over my senses as it did hers. I do not want to hurt them, they are my world. So cheer up B-S Amber, you're in good company. And we were also someone else's W-S you know.

I always considered myself as not only the black sheep in my family but also of all my relatives.

I definitely wasn't a "golden child" but mom did admit that I was her favorite child not long before she passed away. It made several of my brothers mad. The only time I could tell mom treated me differently was when she bought a milking machine for me to use when it was discovered that I have a type of muscular dystrophy in my hands and they'll "lock up" if I milk by hand very long or write very much at one time. My older brothers kept telling her she was spoiling me. Mom told them to mind their own business.

I am the black sheep. My brother and younger sister were both golden

I think my parents did a good job of treating us as individuals. I'm the only girl, so my brother's might remember things differently I did often get to bring a friend along on family outings, so I realize I got some perks for bring the only girl.

My father understood me always but my mother decided early that everything "bad" that was done at my home was done my me. Even antrhing that my younger sister did when she wasnt supposed to do was because I had taught her badly. I got out of a toxic house by getting married when I was very young.

The problem in our family is that there were two kids, and the “golden child” was by gender. My dad thought my brother was perfect, and my mom thought I was perfect. It made for a lot of unpleasant memories, but thankfully my brother and I love each other and don’t have that.

I am definitely not the golden child and sometimes I feel that I am the black sheep. My middle sister is definitely the golden child

Not in my family but my late husband Martin's brother was the black sheep of his family, Long story there let's just say he was never a welcome visitor,

We watched a film last night where there was a 'golden child' involved. Being 8 years behind my brother and sister, I was a bit spoilt but I wouldn't say I was a golden child.

I'm the black sheep since my family disowned me when I moved out at 21.

I am sorry that you feel that way and that's the way you are treated. I guess that no one is a Golden child. I am not, and I am neither a black sheep. I am a normal human being with emotions and I can make mistakes like anyone else.

I honestly don't see how you could EVER be a black sheep, no matter where you were or who you were with...but I do understand it. Some people treat certain people differently than others. I wasn't a black sheep, nor was my little sister, but...I always had to be an adult. Always. Long story, too hard to tell, but hey...I will say that being pretty much forced to be an adult at a very young age made me even more determined to be a good parent.

I think my family viewed my older sister (half sister) as the black sheep, but goodness, she made so many bad choices. She viewed herself as not belonging, playing up the "half" aspect. In many ways my younger sister was "the golden child" because she was absolutely a surprise I felt like the typical middle invisible child. Not the oldest nor the youngest, and not the only son. My folks had plenty of nice things to say about me, and how I raised my kids, but my first husband and I had made a point to live far enough away to be appreciated.

Bah, Bah from the sheep farm.It doesn't feel good.

What timing on your post as this topic has been laying on my mind since recently. Long story short, my younger sister and I had an AWFUL talk on the phone on Mother's Day. She did a lot of lashing out (hurray, I was able keep a straight head on and kept my cool). Anyway. She felt she was singled out and that we didn't like her . . . that she was the black sheep of the family. Which is interesting because a year and a half ago she is the one who removed herself from us . . . she stopped helping my mom regularly and doesn't even call to check in on her. So what does she expect now. She felt that my mom and I were always close - that we were "best buddies" - that my parents often listened to me and not her, etc insinuating that I am this Golden Child. Well, it wasn't exactly that in my eyes. I had to really work hard to establish where we are today. 2 sides to every story - she did not bother listening to my side. I have always felt like the black sheep, yet I never felt my sister was the Golden Child either, nor did I ever feel competitive/jealous of her . . . but maybe she did of me. Actually I did not even realize how my parents felt about her until the last few years - maybe I wasn't so black sheepish after all. Yes my dad was hardcore strict. Yes my mom was submissive. Childhood, I tended to be quiet or just knew when to shut up and do as I'm told - and stay out of trouble (cause and effect?). My sister tended to argue and keep pressing buttons - she was a rather angry and vindictive child. Maybe because of our age gap of 7 years and that I was the oldest guinea pig, my parents were harder on me. She will say that too, yet for some reason she thinks she got the short end of the stick - and cannot let go. Maybe we are/were both black sheeps, differently, but I got out of that mode - she's still in it.

I'm an only child - and no, definitely not the golden one.

I do understand. My Dads brother was the golden child as far as his Mom was concerned.....i found out why only after all grandparents, uncle and my Dad had gone.....sorry can't talk about it on here. it is very difficult to deal with and I had great respect for my Grandad and Dad who knew why but never said. My uncle knew he was treated diffedrently but never knew why ....and hard as it is I can never tell my cousin, his daughter.

I am the only child. Also my cousins are younger than me so I guess I have not been subject to comparisons as such.