I finally asked him why.
By Amber
@AmbiePam (99360)
United States
June 18, 2025 4:48am CST
A lot of you know my dad is a pastor. Some of you may remember how unhappy I was with where I grew up. I don’t know how it works in every religion and denomination, but in ours, churches who need pastors will call and ask preachers to come preach a few weeks to get a feel for how they believe, and the preacher can get an idea of what the congregation are about. Usually, the preacher is asked to “audition” for lack of a better word, more than one place if he’s looking to pastor.
When my dad was 29, he was called to preach at 4 different churches. Three asked him to come pastor. Two were nice, big congregations that offered a good salary, and a nice parsonage. The third was in a terrible part of town, had 15 people, and couldn’t pay much at all.
My dad took the church in the bad neighborhood. I don’t know why, but it was only two years ago I asked why he took what looked to be the worst option. He said, “It was because those other two churches acted like they were doing me a favor. I chose Spencer Road because they needed us. They were beaten down, and thought nobody was coming to help. I knew I could make a difference there. Sometimes you don’t always go just where you are wanted, but where you are needed.”
He was there for 12 years. I think part of why I didn’t like the place is because I was such a depressed child, and my deep depression colored everything around me (yes, my parents tried to help me). It is also when my mom got very sick and was forced to go to the Mayo Clinic. I think I’ve made peace with that place now.
*Photo is of our current church which my dad has pastored for 27 years now.
14 people like this
12 responses
@DaddyEvil (150996)
• United States
8h
Sometimes the people that need help the most are the pastor's family and not a church in a bad part of town...
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (99360)
• United States
8h
@DaddyEvil I know.
Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if I was my parent. I was an excellent kid, but no one knew what to do with me. My mom though was top notch. She kept me going, and made everything okay somehow. When I was at home, I was fine. That stupid shyness just permeated my life outside it.
Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if I was my parent. I was an excellent kid, but no one knew what to do with me. My mom though was top notch. She kept me going, and made everything okay somehow. When I was at home, I was fine. That stupid shyness just permeated my life outside it.2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (150996)
• United States
8h
@AmbiePam I'm glad you finally got the help you needed.
But your sister wasn't their only child.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (476547)
• Italy
7h
Your Dad is a very good man, money was not what was more important for him, he cared for people. I am Catholic, the Priest preaches a homily during the Mass. On special occasions lay members of the faithful may be permitted to preach, in oratories or churches outside of Mass.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (99360)
• United States
7h
@LadyDuck Yes, absolutely! Catholic schools here are the same way. They offer a better education than public schools. Education gets taught or you do not last long. That’s why my parents started a Christian school. The public school my sister and I would have had to attend was terrible. My parents wanted us to have an excellent education. And they made sure any child who wanted to attend and would and could do the work and behave, could attend too.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (476547)
• Italy
7h
@AmbiePam When I was born Catholicism was the "State Religion" in Italy. I would say every new born had to be baptized immediately. I went to a Catholic school during 8 years, my parents were not extremely religious, but the Catholic schools offered a much better education than public schools.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38801)
• Philippines
3h
Your dad sounds like a truly dedicated and compassionate pastor. Choosing to go where he was needed rather than where things were comfortable says so much about his heart and calling. That takes courage and deep conviction. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you growing up — as a young daughter, it’s not always easy to understand why our parents choose the harder road. But looking back now, it’s clear he made a real difference, and that’s something to be proud of. He’s done a wonderful job — 27 years in one church is no small thing. You carry a powerful story of grace, healing, and purpose. Thank you for sharing it.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (191176)
• United States
8h
I think your dad has a true pastor's heart. Sorry about your childhood unapoiness. That really sucks.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (99360)
• United States
8h
@snowy22315 Surprisingly, no. I’m more positive. But she thrives on attention, and is very outgoing.
@snowy22315 (191176)
• United States
8h
@AmbiePam I guess she us an optimust, where you tend to run toward pessism.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (85002)
• United States
3h
I'm sorry that you suffered from depression when you were younger. Things are so different now with more help available for youth and mental health. My generation was just told to "deal with it' if things were difficult.
The Amber I know is a kind, loving, and generous person.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (31805)
• United Kingdom
9h
I hope your Dad felt that he succeeded in helping where it was needed. I'm sorry it resulted in an unhappy childhood for you though.
I don't really know how the recruitment of clergy works here. A new vicar/minister/priest (depending on denomination!) will just show up and I don't really know who makes the choice. Historically the 'living' of a parish was in the gift of a local landowner (you often read about this in historical novels or actual historic novels such as Jane Austen) but it has definitely changed since then.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (99360)
• United States
8h
He made a huge difference, as did my mom. They even started a school where if anyone wanted to attend they made it happen. It was a safe alternative to the public schools in the neighborhood.
I heard a lot of them from the congregation at the old church (when we left there were around 200 people) are coming to my dad’s birthday party. He doesn’t know, but is going to be happy. And I’ll be glad to see them too now that I can be objective about my childhood. My sister loved our childhood! Lol She thinks it was the most charmed ever. What a difference in perspectives!
And I loved to read about vicars in English novels because no one says vicar over here!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (164216)
• United States
6h
Yes, Spencer was "the bad end of town". We lived there very briefly when we were sort of down on our luck, when I was a kid. The house was, I believe, a converted garage. Mom did not like it at all. She was put off at first when I started dating my first husband. He was from there. There always were good people there, though, and your dad gave them some hope.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (52635)
• United States
4h
I’m glad that you were able to to get on something to help with your depression.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (117738)
• Marion, Ohio
4h
He sounds like a good preacher and human.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (191505)
• United States
6h
Your father went where he was needed. I'm sorry you had an unhappy childhood. I'm glad you've made peace with your situation. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@ogbenishyna44 (181)
•
8h
It can be difficult to argue with a pastor , so I understand where you are coming from.
1 person likes this
