The Casual Use of Love You
By Loretta
@noni1959 (12952)
United States
March 16, 2026 7:24pm CST
I know this is a strange topic, but there are people I am not close to, who continuously will say "I love you", or one person will say, "you know I love you, so..." and it is very uncomfortable. I'd like to get your take on this.
Some will argue it means they feel affection towards me and I should be happy I'm loved. The thing is, these people have never been deep in my life to learn anything about me to know me enough to "love me" nor have I them.
The phrase, "love you" has become so casual, it can easily be misinterpreted. Some use it as a form of saying, "take care" with no other meaning behind it. That is fine, but just say, "take care."
It becomes awkward for me, especially if I don't wish to return the emotion, casual or otherwise.
As someone who is old school, I treat the word love as something meaningful and earned, not casual. Using it lightly, just feels inaccurate and fake.
As a peacekeeper, keeping others comfortable felt safer than disappointing them, and sometimes, that meant mirroring, "love you", when I didn't feel it.
One time, that ended up carrying emotional responsibilities that were never really intended and turned into a stalking nightmare.
Now, I just say, "have a wonderful day!" or something close, but the disappointment on their faces, or in their next message, shows.
How do you respond when someone says this? I am not talking about your close relationships. I say I love you to my kids, grandkids and close friends/family.
I have to learn someone else's disappointment does not mean I've done something wrong, yet, many times I feel bad after.
15 people like this
14 responses
@Ineeddentures (31061)
•
17 Mar
" love you"
There you go.
Casual use of love you
I said those words to a Magnum Ice Cream Bar,
4 people like this
@noni1959 (12952)
• United States
21 Mar
@Ineeddentures The gas prices are climbing horribly hear. 
1 person likes this
@Ineeddentures (31061)
•
19 Mar
@noni1959
I said it to my energy supplier today
In the midst of the illegal war and all the sorrow it has brought
An extra £150 appeared on my electricity meter
Yay for us
1 person likes this
@sallypup (68905)
• Centralia, Washington
17 Mar
@andriaperry When I say I love you to my hubby I want him to hear the 'I cherish you" behind it. That's not meant for casual greetings.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (188536)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Mar
Is the love something they want from you? If it makes you that uncomfortable tell them. It is something this person does with others too or just you?
2 people like this
@celticeagle (188536)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Mar
@noni1959 ........that's a good idea. Some are lonely and others are just a bit weird. I have to be very blunt at times with some on Facebook.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (12952)
• United States
19 Mar
It's happened many times with different people. I had to question myself how I wind up with people like this in my life. Recently, it's been a person from my past. We were not close but she seems to think we were. I am keeping my distance. She keeps sending messages constantly saying this throughout. Gratefully, I didn't give her my new phone number. She sends them through messenger on Facebook (she isn't on my FB friends), and I am going to block her today.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (12952)
• United States
21 Mar
@celticeagle I deleted a lot of people on Facebook and very private now.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (76923)
• Philippines
17 Mar
I know exactly what you mean as I feel the same way. I'm not comfortable when people are saying it casually.
I recently saw Marty Supreme by Timothee Chalamet and in that movie Marty would say I love you to his friends and family when he is in need of something, when he's grateful, or when he's just had an argument he couldn't win. But I don't think none of those meant he truly loved them but just his way of saying thank you, or please agree with me.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
17 Mar
Yeah, I agree, it's used to much and by. People who wouldn't pee on me if I were on fire. I think it's used more as an intent of control and manipulation. And as you said they get mad when you don't fall for it.
Keep your boundaries!
2 people like this
@Jehanne (1327)
•
17 Mar
I won't say love you if I'm not use saying it especially to people I'm not close with.
Yes, just like you a word love, I love you is very meaningful to me. If someone say it or it comes from me, it should be sincere, no pretend or being pressure to say it.
2 people like this
@Letranknight2015 (52665)
• Philippines
17 Mar
Depends on the person really. It can change anytime as the person changes.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (55837)
• Canada
17 Mar
I don't have people casually tell me that they love me at all.
There are a select few friends who will tell me that, but quietly, which is appreciated.
My family will say it given they have the opportunity to say it right to me and not call it across the room or loudly in a public place.
I hear I appreciate you and I adore you more often than I think is necessary. It seems to be overused by those that I know.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (173316)
• United States
17 Mar
I don't know anybody that uses "love you" that casually. I say it to friends I've known for years and with some of my family. Anybody I don't know well saying it to me would make me uncomfortable. I would simply ignore it if I didn't feel that way, too.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (173316)
• United States
20 Mar
@noni1959 As I said, if I don't feel that way, I just ignore it.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (22003)
• United States
17 Mar
I heard of church people saying this, but I never say it to someone I barely know. Once a guy who had mental problems had told me he loved me. I barely knew him. I told him that he doesn't know me. I ended up blocking him.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (220203)
• United States
17 Mar
I don't see the photo. I feel very awkward when someone says I love you because I know they want you to say it in return.
1 person likes this
@mynameiskate (2658)
•
18 Mar
Not a strange subject at all. I'm in the same mindset as you described here. Like any word it can be misused or overused. I've heard foul words being used in a funny way but that is a rarity. It really depends on the person and in what context. If someone is going to be insincere then you can't believe anything they say, so...
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (12952)
• United States
19 Mar
@mynameiskate I agree. If someone can be flippant in their words, how can you know if they are sincere in other ways? I've found myself stepping back away from many like this.
