Do you ever just retreat in order to renew?
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (58042)
May 11, 2026 12:02am CST
Maybe I didn't say that right. What I really mean...well, you back off from a few things in order to do some thinking about something else in life, or to do something other than your daily normal things, and spend time reflecting and thinking?
I found myself unable to make a post the last few days. My mind was simply on overload, and I really didn't stop by here very much--made a few comments yesterday and today, but my mind just couldn't stay on it all, somehow.
Personally, I struggle with Mother's Day. I always have. Not my own part in it, my relationship with my children is steady and good, and they are sweet and kind to me. I know I am fortunate to have all four of them and so proud they are good and caring humans. Nope, it's not them.
I already know some people are going to read this and think--that crazy woman, letting Mother's Day memories from the past sneak in. Yes, I've moved on and yes, I did my best and still do, to try to be the kind of mother I didn't have. What I struggle with is hard to explain--it's the pictures I see of others with a wonderful memory of their mother, the stories of how much their mother loved them, did for them, cared for them...poems and stories written about loving mothers. I am not sure why I got the mother I did, as she did not fit the pattern of her family. Honestly, if I wrote a book about my mother, there would be no exaggerating in titling the book ''The Mother From Hell'' because that literally is who she was. And there is usually one day a year that I remember when she was alive, how none of us could figure out why she was the way she was, why she treated us how she did...I won't ever know. But I can still wonder.
In the end, yes, I am glad to be here and glad to have such a wonderful group of people to call me Mom and/or Grandma. I know how fortunate I am to have that. I am honestly so proud of my little crew, and all that they do and all that they are. Sometimes, being a mother isn't easy, but I know for me, it was a blessing and more than worth it.
Enough mush and nonsense out of me! On to a new week!!
11 people like this
11 responses
@LadyDuck (500455)
• Italy
21h
There is something I always said to my niece when she cried because she had a schizophrenic mother and a father who seemed not to care of her "we cannot choose our family". This is a reality, we come to this world and we get what we get. This is the reason why friends are important, because we can choose our friends. They are there to listen, to comfort and to hug us when we feel down. Be happy of your life as it is now, try to forget those bad memories, I know it's impossible, but thinking to past events often hurts.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (58042)
•
20h
No, we can't choose them. For the most part, I will go days, weeks, even months and not think of her. And then it rolls around to her birthday and to Mother's Day, and some of the bad memories creep in my head. Now it's over again. For some reason, this year it hit me harder than it has in a long time. Thank you, sweet Anna.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (500455)
• Italy
19h
@MarieCoyle - I know, it just happens, there are special days that trigger memories, some good, but often also bad memories. I am glad it's over now.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (58042)
•
Just now
@LadyDuck
So am I. Like I said, for some reason, this year it was hard to shake it off. Thank you so much, Anna.
@GardenGerty (168948)
• United States
7h
I understand, certain holidays just do not land right for me either. Mother's Day is sometimes one of them. Yesterday was that day. My mom was not bad, per se, and she loved all of us a lot, but she was "unique". I never could get into the mushy Mother's Day stuff. I ended up making a solo road trip yesterday due to my own careless mistake. I found my favorite Christian station and played good music all the way in both directions. and it refreshed me.
@snowy22315 (207246)
• United States
12h
I wonder what made her that way? My mother isn't really a great mother either..but she was mostly nuturing. I have fond memories of her, and grateful she is still living and doing well for her age.
@Marilynda1225 (90501)
• United States
11h
Yes I step away at times for reflection. There are days that pop up which cause me pain and it's hard to ignore.
I'm sorry that Mother's Day hurts you but certainly glad that your children and grandchildren have a loving, caring mom and grandmom in their lives.
@Juliaacv (55864)
• Canada
16h
I have not words that would cover my sentiment, but I am sorry.
I do not know if you noticed it but I always refer to my mother as just that, and not Mom.
She had many years of dementia which progressed into Alzheimers, and that changed her way so intensely.
You are not alone.
@wolfgirl569 (134269)
• Marion, Ohio
13h
Sorry you had that kind of mother. Think about the family you have now and enjoy them
@JudyEv (379634)
• Rockingham, Australia
15h
I can understand how it's a difficult day for you. Hang on tight to the love and care you share with your children and grandchildren and keep making wonderful memories to help crowd out the bad ones. .
.
@LindaOHio (220670)
• United States
14h
Once I got into my late teens, my relationship with my parents deteriorated. My mother called me every vile name in the book; and I moved out. My father disowned me; and I haven't seen any of my family since. So I can partially understand how you feel. Have a good week.
