If I could go back in the past

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A boy liked me when I was in grade 11. I didn't like him, but I loved the affection and time he showered me with. He photocopied school notes for me. He would sneak in chocolates for me from his house. He did all of this without being asked to. Before we could define whether we were just friends who discussed chemistry problems (more like he used to teach me how to remember all those formulas and equations in chemistry) or more than friends who wanted to be in a relationship, lockdown happened. 2 years later I got into a relationship with another boy, which kind of shattered me. I just wish I had never said yes to that boy. Had I known he was so cruel and unsympathetic, I would never have been in that relationship in the first place. Anyways, I won't say much about that relationship, since talking about it makes me puke and reminds me of the biggest mistake of my life. Sometimes, I wonder if the first boy who liked me would have been courageous enough to pursue me. There are a lot of ifs in life, but, we have to stick to reality, I presume. Anyways, how is the second day of the week treating you?