If I could go back in the past
By Aparna Sen
@Dreamerby (10356)
Calcutta, India
August 11, 2026 4:03am CST
A boy liked me when I was in grade 11. I didn't like him, but I loved the affection and time he showered me with. He photocopied school notes for me. He would sneak in chocolates for me from his house. He did all of this without being asked to. Before we could define whether we were just friends who discussed chemistry problems (more like he used to teach me how to remember all those formulas and equations in chemistry) or more than friends who wanted to be in a relationship, lockdown happened
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2 years later I got into a relationship with another boy, which kind of shattered me. I just wish I had never said yes to that boy. Had I known he was so cruel and unsympathetic, I would never have been in that relationship in the first place. Anyways, I won't say much about that relationship, since talking about it makes me puke and reminds me of the biggest mistake of my life.
Sometimes, I wonder if the first boy who liked me would have been courageous enough to pursue me. There are a lot of ifs in life, but, we have to stick to reality, I presume.
Anyways, how is the second day of the week treating you?
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2 years later I got into a relationship with another boy, which kind of shattered me. I just wish I had never said yes to that boy. Had I known he was so cruel and unsympathetic, I would never have been in that relationship in the first place. Anyways, I won't say much about that relationship, since talking about it makes me puke and reminds me of the biggest mistake of my life.
Sometimes, I wonder if the first boy who liked me would have been courageous enough to pursue me. There are a lot of ifs in life, but, we have to stick to reality, I presume.
Anyways, how is the second day of the week treating you?8 people like this
8 responses
@AmbiePam (124649)
• United States
8h
I’m glad you had the first experience to remember. Hopefully, your last relationship is nothing but a lesson that’s memory will soon no longer hurt you.
It is just 6:16am here, and I am still sleepy this Tuesday morning. I went to bed at 2am so I imagine that is pretty normal to still be sleepy. I only have to visit the pharmacy today.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (176858)
• United States
9h
You never know, the first boy might have been the love of your life if you'd given him a chance and the pandemic hadn't gotten in the way.
I've had two bad marriages but wouldn't trade Pretty by going back and changing things. You just have to live the life you're given.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (176858)
• United States
9h
Or, she'll decide that she's happy being alone. That's always possible, too.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (36096)
• United Kingdom
7h
@DaddyEvil Yes indeed. Some people think that any man is better than none; in my experience none is often the better option!
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (22588)
• United States
5h
I used to say I wish I could go back to past and change the past. I was bullied most of my school years. But if I had changed what happened, I wouldn't have met my best friend who I met in fourth grade.
Today has been ok for me.








