" honest = hurt or insult or pretend = to please"

Hi Che, I have to say that when it comes to gifts given out of love, I most of the time take it in appreciation without showing my dislike of the gift. If someone asks me if I like something before they buy it, I tend to be honest so as not to mislead them into thinking that I like it. I believe that you have to do what feels right for you. Of course you are not going to wear it if it is hideous. It seems that your husband would have consulted with you first. When you commit yourself on ebay, there is no turning back. Maybe your honesty could be said a little more discreetly. Maybe better chosen words would help. But whatever you do, don't change who you are. I'm sure your husband realizes he should have consulted with you first. He can always sell it on ebay!! leenie

Yes, THere is an older FAmily Member , Who always buys me things for my birthday and stuff like that , 90% of the time being something she would wear and she is in her 70s, so without trying to hurt her feeling I tell her i LOve it and try to wear it around her once, when Really I HATE it, but rather then hurting her feelings i lie

hahaha this is tough!!!when you don't want to hurt somebody's ego specially if your hubby. Well, It happened to me many times when hubby ask my opinion about the things he bought. If I really don't like it, I will just smile and don't say anything and that is understood that I really don't like it. But when it suits my taste I have a big WOW!!! I like that.Well, there are times that he forced me to say something when I keep quiet, then I will tell him that I don't like it. But I would say it in a way that wouldn't hurt his pride. You know, men wants to be appreciated specially the things that they plan to give us. But it is not also good to pretend because the truth will always come out. But if said in a nice way they would understand. Enjoy your new jewelries..

i don't really experience that situation all the time. i'm not hard to please. i appreciate what people give me. but during those times that i'm asked for my reaction about something, i honestly tell what i feel because i think it's important for people to know the truth.

Oh! He might be hurt that you didn't really like the one he picked for you. But you're just being honest, you never really intend to hurt him. I guess he'll come to understand that, though he would have liked it better if you're a little uhmmm... indirect about your answer. Anyway, I've experienced this too. My friend and I were shopping for clothes and she was really awed with this yellow dress that I think would look bad on her. I don't wanna hurt her feelings but I don't want other people to ridicule her as well, we're friends, honesty is important between us. So I told her the dress is fine but it seems to be too bright and too wild for her, I'm not sure it would compliment her fully. She was "insulted" and she told me so and I told her she asked my opinion, I gave her and I love her so I only gave an honest opinion. She appreciated me on my honesty but well, she still wanted the dress. Ahhh! We women!

well these things happen no two people are exactly alike, and if you cannot be honest with your spouse than who can you be honest with, right? Just let him know you love him and love most of his choices but this one was not your style because you don't like clunky jewelry.

I think being honest is the best way to go. He is your hubby and I don't think you not liking a piece of jewlery is going to hurt him deeply. Besides...he knows you and he'll be more hurt & insulted if you pretend to like it when you don't...i'm sure he'll see thru the act. Even if you do somehow convince him that you love it when you hate it, you'll be stuck with an ugly piece of jewlery that you feel obligated to wear just to please your husband. I'm sure it's no big deal. He can re-sell it back on e-bay or give it to someone for xmas.

Telling the truth really hurts sometimes. But for me, it is better than to pretend and suffer deep inside. I don't want to hide my feelings. I always wanted to free it. It is then that we will find peace.

My husband knows my tastes pretty well, with the exception of clothes. So, he knows to stay away from buying me any. I remember he was with an older friend of ours who wanted to buy the family clothing. I was not with them and he came back with three shirts, two of which I would (and have not ever worn) and one that was just too small (he didn't know the difference between juniors and misses sizes). I gave the small one to my daughter and she uses it as pjs. He looked so apprehensive that I said I liked them. I'm sure he noticed I have never worn them. It's also hard with older relatives. I hate to hurt their feelings, but sometimes their gifts are just not us. So, pretend = please in these instances.

woman are hard to please. that is of course from a guys point of view. my wife is so simple that it is hard to please her for if i buy something that is over her taste i know she will not like it. she will appreciate the thought but i know she will not love it that much. it is not easy to buy women gifts and women complains that men are hard to please as well. oh well maybe thats the fun of it. har har har

We all have people who do this, get things that we just don't like. I always try to just be grateful and thankful for these types of gifts. But from a husband, I would have, kindly, said gee that looks a little larger than what I usually like. I am sure he will understand if you don't like it when you see it either. Just make sure he knows how grateful you are for him for thinking of you and wanting to get a gift for you. That is all that really counts.

My husband has gotten me a couple of gifts over the years that were not really to my choosing, but I know he really put thought in to the gift and either really thought that they were really cool, or that I would really like it, and I know he put thought in to it, so I have never told him I did not like something that he bought for me as a gift. I remember my mom doing that to my dad every Christmas, when I was growing up. He would get her something and you could see before she opened the gift how excited my dad was about getting it for him, then she would open it and complain, things like, "You know I don't like heavy earings." Or "I don't really like that color." or that is too big and gaudy for me." I then watch my fathers face as the wind went out of his sails, it was heartbreaking to me to see my fathers happiness fade so quickly. I could never do that to my husband. I have started to a couple of times, but then I realize what I am doing and reign myself back in. I always try to think about the thought that goes in to a gift rather than the actual gift.

I think everyone comes into situations when it comes to their partner or their family where they have to choose between being honest and risking hurting someones feelings or pretending to like whatever it is,and feeling the guilt inside that you lied to someone you love,and I know I have been in a situation before where I had to choose either being honest or lying,and I think I always have chosen to be honest and my friends,fiance,and family has always respected that.

well, i myself love honesty and i always try as best as i can to be honest to everybody including my hubby... so if he gives me a gift that i don't like, i will tell him honestly that i don't like it... if he is hurt because of my comment, then so be it... i can't help it... that is just me... i prefer to be honest rather than being a hypocrite... at least now he knows what i like and don't like... take care and have a nice day...

I'm generally a speak my mind type of a person. If I don't like something I will say it. But I try to do so as to not hurt a person's feelings. Sometimes that can't be helped. As we are completely broke and doing things differently, I don't have to worry about my hubby surprising me with any gifts.

I would have to be honest too. I go through this with my husband all of the time. He just does not ever understand what my likes and dislikes are, even though I have told him time and time again.

Well, if you two know each other very well... then the hurt from the insult will not last long... and i think your husband is right... your opinion regarding the jewelry might change once you see it in front of you... this always happen to me and my husband... and would always result to a fight... good thing he is working abroad right now...

checapricorn sometimes its hard to know just what to say. I had a friend who brought me a really really' ugly dress. It was new, never worn, and I could really understand why too. It was just plain eye blindingly ugly. No other words could describe thething. I did have one out,it was too small. thank God for that so I said, honey its the wrong size take it to your friend Elizabeth as hse is really petite. she may really like that.Later Elizabeth came by and said, how could you, that thing is godawful ugly. you dum dum." I said what did you do with the thing, she said she gave it to her kids to play dress up with. I had to laugh and then 'she laughed too.We just hoped our other friend never caught the kids playind dress up with the ugly thing.

Yeah there are times my mom picks up impossible dresses for me and gifts with them so much love and expectations that i have to fight the urge to scream at her!!I can accept a bad dress but can't see the look of disappointment on her face!Its heart tearing and so give her a cute smile and a hug and say thanks.My dad knows that I can't wear them as they are damn too traditional and keeps smiling and challenging me that one day i will lose my patience...So guess you are not alone and your husband loves you and knows you so guess he will be hurt but understand you at last...