Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

United States
October 1, 2008 7:18pm CST
I've made a couple friends here on Mylot that are very nice, and I'm happy to hear from them everyday... or every so often as they have time. But the more I'm on here, the more I wonder what I'm doing here??? Honestly I get so tired of all the rude or inappropriate comments, or the ones that make no sense, or the ones that have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. Every single time I start a discussion there is at least one rude comment, one that I don't understand, and one that I have to ask if they even read the post or just feel like throwing stuff in there to earn a penny. Then you get some where people think they know better than you and try to give you unwanted advice. What I love are the times a single highschool kid tries to give me parenting advice... because ya know, since they have no kids and I have 5, they must know better than me, right? Seriously... we don't know each other, so how can we judge each other? People just want to automatically assume they know every detail about what's going on, when there's a whole lot they don't know and their comments are truly unnecessary! This headache really isn't worth the time and effort spent on this site. Okay... my rant is over. I'm sure I have a million more rude comments coming my way here...oh well... that's life in Mylot, isn't it?
4 people like this
18 responses
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
2 Oct 08
When you make a discussion as this around me, I am thrilled! I enjoy hearing this type of conversation. I get plenty of rude comments to my discussions too. Sometimes, I argue with them, and other times, I will just blow them off. I don't know why others try to make it very hard for us to discuss whatever post that we have created.. Some people don't like my posts, because, I always need advice of some kind. Well that is just too bad for them. If, they dislike my discussion, then they should not even bother responding to it. Life would be more calmer when they do this. They should just spare me the drama, because, I don't want to hear it. I have been on myLot for some months now, and I have read and seen many discussions that did not make any sense at all. But, I did not let it upset me, I just chose not to answer their discussion. My point to you is, careless what they think.. If you know that you are being positive here at myLot, then that is all that matters. Don't pay any haters or trolls any attention. They are just out to destroy. I would not let them get me down. I am going to continue to be me, and you still continue to be you!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Oh, and by the way, I enjoy your posts.. You are always so keen to many topics!
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
2 Oct 08
Some people get off on ruining your day, just because they are insecure and miserable. Hard as it is (I know it can feel hurtful) just ignore the idiots who leave inappropriate, rude comments and keep doing what you are doing, which is great.Like you said, be happy being you!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 08
I've got tons of friends, and some of them start discussions that I'm not crazy about. Sometimes I add my 2 cents (as politely as I can) and sometimes I just shake my head and ignore them. What ever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?". That's what I want to know.
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
2 Oct 08
It's a funny old world, and there are all kinds of people in it. I think a lot of people on myLot are only members because they want to earn money - therefore, they make comments on everything just to clock up a cent or two. Also, there are people from other countries who are trying to learn English (and I admire them very much, as I would not have the nerve to join a forum in a foreign language and attempt to communicate) - which sometimes results in hard-to-understand comments. I suppose the best policy is to take most things with a grain of salt, enjoy the real friends you've made and not take myLot too seriously. I've had problems with trolls and nutters and all kinds of people ... but small things amuse small minds, so they're welcome to get on with it!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 08
I'm not complaining about the ones who don't know english. I'm actually used to that. Sometimes it bugs me, but I can easily ignore those posts. I'm more or less talking about the ones who do know english but type everything as if they're in a text chat with another person. Is it really all that difficult to type all the letters of a word instead of abbreviating everything?
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
2 Oct 08
Ah, I see what you mean! I think it's a whole new generation of people who've been brought up on text messages! Old habits die hard, because even when I'm sending a text message to one of my children, I STILL type the whole words in full. Just can't bring myself to do all that abbreviating!
• United States
2 Oct 08
I don't abbreviate, but when I'm in IM with my friends I will talk like "i bout to get goin cuz I got game" My friends are used to it and totally understand what I'm saying, but I wouldn't talk like that here on Mylot.
@camomom (7536)
• United States
2 Oct 08
there is a language barrier here, this is not an all english speaking site. some people respond just to make money and don't care about the discussion. you said it yourself...we don't know eachother, these single kids with no kids may actually have kids and they may know what they are talking about. they may not know that you have 5 children. some people may think you are rude to them in some discussions. i responded to one of your discussions and your comment to me came off as rude, atleast i felt it was. i believe you did mention being a parent of 5 and i know i mentioned being a parent of 2. you came off like you know more then me because you have more kids then i do. maybe the rudeness is just a misunderstanding on one side or the other. we all have this happen to us on a daily basis, you just deal with it or stop posting. yes, we should all be nice to eachother but sometimes sh*t happens and we all have to deal with it.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 08
I'm trying to remember that discussion and I can't... and I'm sorry if I sounded rude... sometimes I get in a bad mood and have a hard time holding it in. But the advice on kids is one of my pet peeves, stemming from my mother in law trying to give me advice. She makes me feel like I know nothing about kids... when mine are all perfect, happy, healthy, rather well behaved children. Obviously I'm not doing anything wrong... and she only raised 2 that she didn't even have since infancy, so why would she give me unwanted advice? So when I get advice from someone with less or no kids, (unless I ask for it) then I do tend to get a bit defensive.. which probably comes off as I know it all, lol.
@camomom (7536)
• United States
2 Oct 08
it's ok that you came off rude...I'm sure i do at times also. I do however take offense to people that have more kids then i do thinking they are a better parent then i am. not all happy kids are well taken care of. my step son is the perfect example: his mother is never around and he has NO rules at her house. he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, he is VERY happy but he is neglected and not taken care of, he also has no discipline which ALL kids NEED. she has 2 children, is alot younger then i am but because she has been a parent longer then i have she thinks she's better then i am.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
2 Oct 08
i understand where you are coming from i feel the same way but i try to deal with it.however that don,t make it right does it iam sorry you are feeling this way i like your question and asnwer you have some good comments and you have plenty to say don,t stop hang in there it,s going to be ok have a blessday
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 08
don't worry bout them.just keep doing what you doing on here. people on the internet just wanna jump at you because they behind the computer screen and knowing damn well if you ever see them in person they ain't gonna say a damn thing. so don't worry out the "haters" lol have a nice day
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Kats, I understand what you mean. But don't let the bad comments get to you. Just see them for what they are worth and move on. Don't give them the time of day. If they aren't relevant to the discussion, they don't get any money, do they? But I know it's irritating to see people who don't have children give someone who does advice. And I also hate to see someone without them take off on someone who does! We don't know what another Mother goes through with her children or why she does things she does with them? I know most of us have made mistakes and shouldn't be judging the others. None of us have the knowledge that would let us tell everyone what they need to do. Perhaps we can share part of our parenting skills. They might work for you or they might not. But none of us have the answers to everything. If we did, all of us would have perfect kids and no problems and would not be asking for help.
• United States
2 Oct 08
It's not even so much asking for advice... but just sharing things that happen in life. Then somone jumps in with rude comments or unwanted, not to mention wrong, advice.. and I just wonder what's the point? It gets so irritating, and time and time again I wish my discussions were only available to my friends and no one else.
@gemini_rose (16193)
2 Oct 08
You are one of my favourite posters on here if I am honest, I think it is probably because I identify with you a lot on your subjects and I can usually always answer to your discussions. I know what you mean though, I have the same thing and it really ticks me off too. It is the way it goes though here.
• United States
2 Oct 08
Some days are better than others. With what I have going on here at home, and other areas of my life... some days I can deal with the rudeness and just ignore it, somedays it gets to me. I keep telling myself I need to avoid Mylot on those days, but I don't normally realize my mood until I've been here and see some of those comments, but by then I'm just so riled up. I don't think I can give up on Mylot completely. I know the way I feel sometimes isn't worth the $10 or so a month... but I think I'd miss the discussions too much. I love the friends I've made on here (and you're also one of my favorites). If I quit... I'd probably just quit starting discussions and stick to responding to those of my better friends on here.
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
2 Oct 08
So, tell me why do you bother if you get so irritated. Maybe you are a little sensitive. You are right, we don't know each other very well but a lot of people divulge very personal details about themselves and their families so other people assume they can comment as if they knew the the person intimately. Yes, we all get one line comments but the person on the other end gets no credit for it and even if we wonder why they do it it is best to just ignore it. There are also language and cultural barriers. If you check out the number of people on Mylot and where they are located you will see there are people from practically every country in the world. So there are bound to be language differences. People can't have it both ways. They talk about their lives, their problems, their kids, their relationships, and what do they really want? mostly approval with their point of view. Then they get upset. So what is a forum for? to discuss things in a respectful manner. That does not necessarily mean agreeing with the responder. So this is my rant for the day.
• United States
2 Oct 08
I'm not at all sensative... I just can't stand rude people. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. We were all taught that lesson as children, and some of us have forgotten the lesson, or get a kick out of causing drama and trouble. I know there's language barriers and I've gotten used to them.. I made no reference to that. When I said something about I can't understand... that meant more for the english speaking people who'd rather abbreviate than type the words. I don't mind when people disagree.. I understand we all have different views and different ways of doing things. But you can present your own views in a polite, diplomatic way so the other doesn't feel they're on the defense.
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Well I hope you don't let it get to you. Some people are just that way. My best friend is almost 5 years younger than me. She has 6 daughters. As you know I have 1 daughter with another baby on the way. When we offer advice it is because the other has specifically called and said"hey what would you do?" I guess people are on here daily and think they can be that familiar. I would continue to discuss and just blow off the rudeness. It cannot be controlled in the real world any better than cyber. I hope you stick around.
• United States
2 Oct 08
Ya know I probably let that come out wrong... I know there are plenty of moms with less kids who do have advice to offer. Each child is different, and even though I have 5... my youngest may go through things I've never experienced, and perhaps a mom with just 1 knows what I'm going through... It's just one of those things... no mom likes to hear that she's doing everything wrong... especially when she strongly believes she's doing it right. We all have our own ways of doing things, and so long as our kids are happy, healthy, and well rounded, it doesn't matter how we get that way. So I just don't want to hear someone telling me I'm doing everything all wrong... especially if that's coming from someone with no kids! How do they know?
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I know how you feel. although i don't usually get many comments when i start discussions. but i have seen it happen to other people. in fact there was one user who was on here all the time. she started tons of discussions a day and worked hard on here. but then people like that drove her off here. its sad. that is why i usually just stick to answering discussions. and i try not to answer anything that i don't know about the subject.
• United States
2 Oct 08
Are you talking about Mooch? I haven't seen her in ages. Although she wasn't on my friends list because she started LOADS of discussions and I couldn't keep up (and lots of them were about sad news that I don't like hearing) I still respected her.
@hotsummer (10449)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
yeah. i have noticed that too. the more active you are in this siet the more you will have rude comments from time to time. i have experienced that too. and i am really piossed with those rude comments. there are some rude comments thati tried to ignore so that it won't affect my activity on this site. but how i wish that those people will just leave and will not just bother to psot on the thread if they have nothing good to say and if there only purpose is to make other people angry or pissed with wat they have to say. sometimes iwonder if they are really trying to do those intentionally to hurt other people. or were they just mean person that it is just natural for them to talk that way to any one.
• United States
2 Oct 08
Yep, that's how I feel most of the time.
• United States
2 Oct 08
Even though i havn't started any discussion topics yet, i totally understand how you feel. I have visited many other sites similar to this one and there are always ignorant people posting ignorant comments. I bet many of those post are coming from silly, immature young grade school and high school kids who like you said are just trying to make a penny. You just have take the good for what it is and ignore the bad, i believe that is path to ecstasy, bliss, nirvana, enlightenment, etc. Not to sound all spiritual and preachy, but negativity comes with being alive; it is all about how you perceive it and react to it. Some people never notice negativity and some people always do. Just ignore silly people and keep on doin what your doin. smile.
• United States
2 Oct 08
It's difficult for me to ignore the negativity. It always bothers me. I grew up around so much of it, so it's really hard not to let it get to me.
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
hi Katsmeow. hopefully, the inappropriate comments you got from the past doesn't disappoint you much. there is a bigger percentage of receiving more good comments than the other. plus am sure there are a lot of myLotters who are nicer. i get those too sometimes. to the point that i dont wanna visit mylot anymore. but it's a source of good information. if i stumble upon those who comment wrongly, i just think it'll pass. and i know how what you are saying. getting unsolicited advices aren't helpful sometimes. but being fair to those who give advices, they mean well. at least to them, they are thinking constructively for other people. so just be happy that they took part into your discussion. that means they read it, and they wanted to say something about the topic. =) hopefully you are okay now. =)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Sometimes they don't mean well, sometimes they're just interested in drama. I have enough drama in my life.
@BriNbai (912)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I know exactly what your feeling. What I hate the most, aside from rude comments, Is when people literaly answer with one word. Like do you have a dog?answer:yes.LOL it makes me mad ! I do hate it when people try to judge you because they dont necesarily agree with you or the way you do things. Oh and Ihate it when they respond to a discussion and their answer has nothing to do with the post!..i dont understand. But also I think that you should be a little more understanding with peoples answers not everyones going to agree with you.like the highschool kids giving you advice, I honestly think thats their opinion and their entitled to it. Also you asked for the advice to begin with and they are just telling it from their point of view. Oh btw you can report abuse on the rude comments and also grade them as positive or negative too..:] Have a great day!
• United States
2 Oct 08
Oh yes I use the ratings forsure...but most don't really care. For the most part I ignore the comments, but it sticks with me and ticks me off. I was exaggerating a bit on the highschool kid thing... I can't remember the specific instance but there was a time when a person with no kids was giving me advice, and it wasn't an opinion sort of thing, it was a judging sort of thing. I didn't take too kindly to it.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Oct 08
hi katsmeow1213. what gets me is the person who responds to my discussion and shows they have not a foggy clue as to my discussion, as all they read was the title. Now that is not always going to make it clear what I really want. Mylot says read all the discussion before answering. Also I hate the rude 'remarks, You would not surely make a rude remark if you were talking face to face to one of us mylotters? So it is cowardly to do so behind your computer.But give the rest of us a break, maybe the day we responded to your discussion we were not feeling so great, or else we just did not quite get some things in your discussion but we tried to respond the best we could. A lot of us are really pretty neat people, katsmeow. You talk about not judging yet you are also doing a bit of it too as in inappropriate remarks or ones that make no sense. Try to find a bit of milk of human kindness and some humor and you will get less upset over our responses.
• China
2 Oct 08
hello, i can understand you, i always feel the same as you. i feel bored at mylot. i don't know what is "my friands" mean. i never chat with them, we never know each other, we never help each other, what called a friend? they just send inquiry to add me, then i accept. i think it's no sense to add more friends here. as for spending time on mylot, the biggest reason is that it will pay you.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
2 Oct 08
I think you are just having a really bad day. do you need a hug....BIG HUGS to you!
@mkrijos (80)
• Philippines
2 Oct 08
What were doing here ? 1. some says to earn 2. some for advice 3. some just to keep themselves busy with 4. some is searching his own selves. Me, I guess all ends met.I have 5 kids and we all have our lives to take care. We trust everyone's opinion, and spoiled things out, we are different,but all together in a compound. I'm bothered why people have so many questions in life, I'm bothered why offend when advice are not what is expected. I'm bothered why people can take things in order, as you say, they are more human , more generous in giving advice and more kind. Am i'm one of them or just play the game as i'm one, and want to be one. Certain talk, views and ideas, somehow touches one heart , a little word that applies to life, that we sometimes take it for granted. We are bothered because there are problems that were trying to solve, that we dont want to shout it out, that we dont want anyone to know about, that we dont want to be offended about, but its a kind of relief that someone out there listen and responded your inquiry. The advice is not given freely, but because we can relate to things that happens to us that we can easily gives it free. We both find things working, better have two heads than one, we find joy in each company, a friend in need is a friend in deed. We are bothered because we dont enjoy people messing our life, we close our heart to advice, we feel we are strong than others, we feel we can mend things by our own understanding. But still we need someone to listen to us, even we don't know them, the better . In my life, I have experience all this and i feel alone, I dont even know myself , why bother much and I found myself helpless ,no one to turn to. With the book on my side, I found one true friend, the Bible and God. I found my wandering to come out and keep myself busy with God. Why bother, where there are many lives to share your views and generous to give a pleasant understanding of life to others, the more you give advice, the more you found yourself working with God. God bless you. Don't bother much, life goes on and the future will take care of itself.