Are you eating for two?

@maddysmommy (16243)
United States
October 14, 2008 9:35am CST
I got asked this question at Target the other day, when I went to order some food at their cafe for my son and hubby and a cup of coffee for me. I almost cried LOL I know I've put on some weight but I didn't think it was enough to warrant this question being asked of me. Maybe it's because of the food I was ordering for my hubby and son perhaps... but still, being asked if your pregant when you're not is depressing LOL Has this happened to you? It's back to walking I go and cutting down on fatty foods again LOL
6 people like this
21 responses
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
20 Oct 08
I've never been asked this before, but I've been with a friend that has. And, coincidentally, it was also at Target. LOL She got really offended when she was asked, but I think it was because of her shirt. It was one of those empire waisted shirts and they make me look pregnant if I'm not careful. Thank goodness she is pregnant for real now though.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Hi Flight. I was angry and embarrassed because I knew that I had put on an extra 10 pounds but not enough to warrant that comment LOL to be honest I actually thought that I might be this time round, with some of the symptoms I was getting, but unfortunately yesterday proved me wrong lol oh well we shall keep trying.
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Don't you hate that?! You think you might be and then IT comes. lol My husband and I have started trying again, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. :)
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
24 Oct 08
I was upset this time round. It's been six years since having my son and I so want another baby. Good luck Flight and hope to hear some good news from you soon :):)
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
14 Oct 08
Lol no not yet but I am waiting for it as my Stomach has still not gone down much lol it is about time it does
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
LOL well thats good gabs hehe. How are you? How is Gissi?
@jands1 (835)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I was just talking about this yesterday with someone! I occasionally get asked this. Really, it is very rude to say such things to someone. Even if they are pregnant. And, it doesn't seem as if people say it in a good way but as if they are really saying, "Hey, you are fat." What galls me most is the ones that say things of that nature that look as though they haven't put a fork down their entire life. LOL Hope you have a great day and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
14 Oct 08
haha your comment made me laugh. It was a young fella who asked the question, and I think he looked bigger than me LOL I remember being asked this question years ago when my sister was having her second or third child. I was wearing a baggy jean jacket and when we were coming out of the lift together, the nurse thought I was the pregnant one. . My brother in law couldn't stop laughing. I almost punched him on the arm haha. The nurse apologised profusely but boy was I embarrassed.
@jands1 (835)
• United States
14 Oct 08
It is embarrassing! And, what many people who so callously say such things don't realize, is that infertility is on the rise. Imagine being unable to conceive and being asked that! Heartbreaking. We should be able to give "I'm a callous jerk" stickers to people when they say things like that. ;)
1 person likes this
@patgalca (14133)
• Orangeville, Ontario
14 Oct 08
I think I'll produce a t-shirt that says, "No, I'm not pregnant!"
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I would be mortified if someone asked me that! What did you say?! I guess that might be a form of motivation to get back to eating right and exercising.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
14 Oct 08
I actually swore in my mind LOL I just asked how much the food cost and walked off. I've put on about 10-12 pounds - I'm 5'9" and wearing size 14 so was surprised he said that to me. I know that other mothers can tell when someone is pregnant without even realising it. We have been trying and I won't know until a few weeks time so maybe he sees something I don't?!? ummm probably not LOL
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
14 Oct 08
YOu don't sound like you are at all heavy to me. He must have just been remarking on the amount of food that you bought since you were getting some for hubby and son too. I could see if you were huge or had a big belly, but it sounds like you aren't either.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I only had two hotdogs (just the buns and sausage) and a cheese bread, plus two drinks, as well as my cup for coffee. I should of asked him if he was expecting because he did look larger than me LOL thanks for replying sunshine.
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
23 Oct 08
Hmmmmmm must be fuuny rather shocking situation it seems that u enjoyed it rather than getting angry and it also seems that it trigger ur motivation level to get control of ur fats Take care
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
24 Oct 08
Yup it sure did. I haven't started exercising yet though LOL it's getting cold. HOpe you are well cupid.
@cupid74 (11397)
• Pakistan
27 Oct 08
I am ok so it means that it was NOT THAT Motovational Well, in cold its Ok as u wear so much that no one can find that either u r Pregnant Or Just -------- Take care
@Hatley (163752)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 08
hi maddys mom well try this on. I walked out of ther grocery store and was stopped by this lady about my age, maybe fifty or so, and she asked me , "how far along are you dear? I may have some of myolder pregnancy clothes that would fit you, love" I was dumbfounded, then I said, " lady I dont need pregnancy clothes, I am not pregnant. see this grey hair? I am fifty five, how the hell old are you, since your eyes seem to be failing You?" She turned red and almost ran off to her car. I stood there and laughed, yes i was overweight but what right did she have spouting off at me like her.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Some people really have the nerve don't they haha I couldn't help but laugh at your response to her silly question. Good for you Hatley. I need to come up with some good come back lines too.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Hatley, I never looked at it that way but I'm 52 and I've lost the weight now but a couple of years ago, I'd put on some weight and got those kind of comments...great comeback. Also, in a sense, it is sort of a compliment, huh? you must have looked much younger.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163752)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Oct 08
hi maddysmommy that is so unkind and nasty. I got that asked of 'me one time about two months after Ihad had my second child. I said well no, but congratulations on your coming pregnancy. oh my this lady was furious then, I I Im not pregnant thank you very much. and she stomped off. My husband laughed every time he remembered that little exchange.Dont let that get to you,probably your rude commenter was a bit overweight also. Those people who have the gall to say such things to complete strangers belong on the lower rings of Dantes version of Hell. lolo lo
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
haha I have to think of a good comeback as well if it ever happens to me.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
again I mean.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Yes and I think it is the rudest question ever. A couple of years ago, i'd put on some weight and of course it goes right to my middle. I was very self-concious and tried to dress to cover it as well as work on the weight. It seemed like just when I'd lose a few pounds and start to feel that progress was being made, someone would toss such a question out at me and it'd make me feel just horrible. I tell them, "no...I'm just fat and thanx for making my day." I've since lost the weight and i'm 5'7 and weigh 117 pounds. I am far from overweight. In fact, now I feel that I'm underweight. I love those little high waisted tops and now I can wear them and not feel that I even look pregnant. Still, so often some man(and it is ALWAYS a man) will ask me if i'm expecting. it still makes me feel bad even tho i know it is just the shirt now. It could have been the shirt you were wearing.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
26 Oct 08
I know how you feel about making progress on losing a bit of weight, and then someone turns around and asks a stupid question like this one LOL what a downer alright. I was wearing a cardigan which might have made me look bigger, but still, being told by a guy whether I'm expecting was embarrasing. Oh I wish I was 117 pounds LOL I know I would be anorexic if I was but WOW.
@gemini_rose (16194)
24 Oct 08
No it has not happened to me, but I can imagine that it was pretty distressing for you. I always have to watch my weight too, it is not much fun living on healthy foods!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Not fun at all LOL I know I've put on weight and have to do something about it, but being told like that by a total stranger was embarrasing lol
• India
15 Oct 08
i know that feeling so well. this has happened to me too. some people just dont have any consideration for others feelings. i did get upset but i did not let that man get the better of me. instead i ordered another round. i was sick the next day but it kind of felt good seeing the shock on his face.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
You're right, some people have no consideration for others at all. I need to come up with a comeback so if it happens again, I'll put them in their spot. lol
@subha12 (18462)
• India
15 Oct 08
I think its rude to ask. plus why this was bothering them? you are buying food for son and hubby. they should be less bothered.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Indeed its rude subha. He was bigger than I was and I wasn't about to tell him he was fat. I wouldn't do that.
@mayrah (1037)
• Philippines
15 Oct 08
Hello maddysmommy, I haven't experience being mistaken for pregnant. Because actually I have to monitor my weight so I can maintain ideal weight.But it's the other way around because my case is quite weird which is I have to eat with full stomach every meal just to maintain ideal weight, Because I have a fast metabolism, so no matter how much I eat I won't gain too much weight but I could gain ideal BMI, if I would eat more. Though I haven't experienced you case I have friends and family member who just like you sometimes being mistaken for pregnant. I even met people whom I thought was pregnant but actually they're not, that's why sometime while I was working in clinic, I hesitate to ask my patient if they pregnant or not because I know that question would upset them a little if they're not pregnant.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
24 Oct 08
Exactly. Until a friend has told me she is pregnant, I don't ask :) thanks for responding.
@crazy286 (269)
• India
15 Oct 08
getting too fat can also be attributed to genetic imbalance or hormones. it is not necessary that u eat a lot if you are fat. take my case i am a bit fat but i eat far less than what my very very thin and slim friends eat. so, tell them that you are not eating too much.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I should of said something but I didn't. He was bigger than me and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings like he hurt mine. I think it might have been the food I was buying for my hubby and son, made him say it. But still, I wouldn't say something rude to people.
@Zelmarq (11507)
• Cebu City, Philippines
15 Oct 08
I eat a lot but im not eating for two.I love to eat pizza and lots of yummy food and for me its the best past time; eating. I have gained weight and one of my officemate calledme fatso.Its ok, since im not really worried about it since i oly weigh a hundred pounds so theres no need to panic on my part. Thank you for this discussion and have a nice day!
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
It's just the fact that they even said it annoyed me. He was bigger than I was and I wasn't about to tell him he was fat, that's just plain rude. Maybe it made him feel better about himself. Oh well, I'll have a comeback next time it happens LOl thanks Zelmarq.
• China
15 Oct 08
I have happened to this kind of case, but I feel people should be in a polite way to make comments for others, if you are not sure for the things, please don't have your comments freely. Enjoy yourself & Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I agree Jackieyan. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it.
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
14 Oct 08
It never ceases to amaze me what ppl will say...try not to let it get you down. Thankfully I've never been asked this b/c it would probably make me hole up in my house and never come out again. [b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~ **AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
That's the thing, he was bigger than me, and I was surprised he even said it. It might of been the food I was carrying but he saw there was three of us, and not just me lol
• United States
14 Oct 08
I would have been so embarrassed! I do have a tiny tummy pooch myself.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
I was. I need to come up with a comeback if it happens again. I'm sure it will shut them up next time they even think about opening up their mouth and saying something rude like that again.
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
14 Oct 08
I remember it vividly. I was out with my new boyfriend and about 19 years old. He ran into an old friend of his who asked him if he was going to be the father. I was mortified and then he said oh no she is just fat. Needless to say that relationship didn't work! I never assume any one is pregnant and would never think of saying something to someone.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Neither do I. I know how it feels so I wouldn't want that on anyone else. Thanks whywiki.
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
14 Oct 08
In the past I have been asked if I was pregnant or when the baby is due. Because I felt this was a rude question for a stranger to ask I would respond with, "I'm not pregnant, just fat." This didn't help my hurt feelings but it did embarrass the enquirer and often made them rush off. Of course I would then be depressed over it for some time and try hiding away from the entire world when possible. A little more than 2 years ago I had all I could take and after trying every other option including starvation I had gastric bypass. I have lost 145 pounds and am living life to its fullest. Over time I have come to learn that I am the same person inside that I was back then. Now I am not afraid to show it. I could kick myself for sitting on the sidelines for so many years because of the stupidity of others.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
Wooohoo 145 pounds, good for you tammytwo. I am around 190-191 pounds and 5'9". I know I am about 30 pounds overweight for my height but still, he was rude.
@SaintAnne (5454)
• United States
14 Oct 08
Oh, no! That is why I, myself, do not ask strangers/acquaintances if they're pregnant or anything related to that field until it is very obvious. Maybe the person was referring to the amount of food that you were getting. I am sure that's it! In my culture, a lot of people don't hesitate to tell me if I've gained weight. Most likely, the first thing they would say when we see each other for the first time after a while would be "oh, look at you, you've grown fat" in our dialect. I'm sure they don't think it's offensive but it is hurtful even if they don't mean it that way. A lot of times, I tell them it's because we get to eat whatever we want and we have abundance of food where we are or I just shock them by telling them I'm pregnant (getting pregnant before marriage is frowned upon over there) even though I'm not. That shuts them up for a few minutes and gives me some kind of amusement.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
15 Oct 08
That happens in our culture too SaintAnne. They are not shy to tell you straight to your face and say, Oh you've gone FAT or you've put on lots of weight. I hate it because I think it's rude. I don't do that to others because I know how uncomfortabe it is for me when someone says that to me. Thanks for your comment!