my daughter wants to move out

Canada
January 2, 2009 3:49pm CST
2 days ago my 5 year old threated to move to her dad's house. she was angry with me for taking a toy away from her because of her attitude. so she said she was moving to her dad's house she started packing her toys and said she was taking them. i told her whatever i bought all stays here. she didn't like that but was still going she said. then she told me when i was ready to call her at her dad's and apologize to her then she'd come home. anyway we had a talk about what heppened and she decided to stay with me. it's so funny how kids think these things up
6 people like this
21 responses
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
You know i had never thought about that sort of thing, i guess when kids have parents that live apart it does give them another avenue to bargain or punish or whatever, when i was little all we could say was we would run away...but to where, we soon changed our minds as we had no-where else to go but this sort of situation gives them a threat that i guess even hurts more, its good that you could just talk her round...she sounds like she is a clever little kid..
• Canada
2 Jan 09
i remember running away to the neighbours house as a child. lol anyway your right with seperated parents it gives kids a way to bargain what they want. well so she things. i have a friend who went through this though and i think he dealt with it brilliantly. his daughter was a teen and called hime asking to move into his place. know of couse he would of loved her living with him but he knew she just wanted to get away from her mom cause she didn't want to follow rules. so anyway he said yes and then asked to speak to her mom. he asked what the rules are there then told his daughter the rules will be the same at his house. the girl decided not to move. so you know she just didn't want rules and she tought it would be easier at dad's. i thought that was really smart of him to do
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
Your friends ex sounds like a good Dad, he did right but i could imagine a lot of dads taking advantage of that one...
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jan 09
ya 'm not sure what her dad would do. he's the type where he wants her so bad too, which is good, but he puts his wants and feelings before her needs. so he'd probably move her in with no rules. but i did tell him the story so hopefully he got something out of it. he is a good dad but he's a softy and he has no rules at all so i'm thinking one day when she's a teen she will want to go cause i have more rules in my house
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
2 Jan 09
My daughter tried that too when she was about 14. She decided she didn't like my rules and she wanted to go live with her dad. I let her pack all her stuff up and she had it waiting at the door for him when a friend of mine stopped by. I never saw things fly back to her room so fast. She never tried that again. I don't think she really wanted to go live with him. It was just something she was trying to hold over my head. Any way she was much older than your daughter. I had told my kids that they could go live with their dad and come back once but I wan't going to play the game of going back and forth when things didn't go their way. I expect that she will try that threat again every time things don't go her way. It's something that she thought you should apologize to her. You haven't said how long you have been devoiced. My granddaughter always had an attitude after she had visited her dad.
• Canada
2 Jan 09
her dad and i haven't been together since she was 6 months. i know she'll probably try it again but i don't think she'll actually go. i didn't want her to think she was hurting me so i didn't really react. i just said ok but you can't take that stuff it stays here. i feel that if she thinks she got to me by threatning me then she'll keep doing it.
2 people like this
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Your right about her finding out that your hurt. She would threaten you every time you turned around. She's a pretty smart cookie.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jan 09
Haha This is too cute I can just see her packing up her toys then hearing that they have to stay. Glad she's decided not to fly the coop ;). Thanks for bringing a smile to my face can't wait to have one of my own.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jan 09
kids are hillarious. what i find the hardest is keeping a straight face when i'm trying to give her trouble cause she's so cute and comes out with the funniest things
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Jan 09
hahaha yeah I can imagine trying to keep that straight face and I could see if you smirked her stomping her foot proclaiming she was serious lol
2 people like this
• India
2 Jan 09
oh they are matured over the age.... thier behavoiour cannot be judged even by god they pop up with sudden explosion of anger in this way these day so be cautious....dear
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Jan 09
what i love about her is that she doesn't flip out and take fits. what she does it cry a little but she expresses herself very well. she said to me. you hurt my feelings so that's why i'm moving to dad's house. every time she's hurt or sad she says her feelings are hurt and talks about why she's feeling that way. which i think is so much better to deal with then tantroms. so that's why it's so easy to talk to her afterwards about what happened and resolve issues
1 person likes this
• India
2 Jan 09
kids look more beautiful and all these things really make us laugh and think as to how big kids became so early that they want to leave the house just for the sake of a toy. They look cute no doubt, but then, what i feel is this sort of attitude must not continue, they must be taught the importance of family and how important you are for her and also her for you. If this is really funny it must be taken the same way, but if its repeatedly happening, this must not be so encouraged. thanks.
2 people like this
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
2 Jan 09
They are kind of funny at that age, aren't they? Other kids pack up their stuff to join the circus or run away. Glad she thought of a safer option. I suppose being that she has that option gives her an extra bargaining chip in her opinion. Personally I probably would have thought if her dad told her that it would be nicer at his house, lol. But that's just me;)
2 people like this
@Seppy1984 (2148)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Wow she is a very bright child then, I have never heard a child that young play the guilt trip on their parent like that. Now it will be interesting to see what my children come up with. The big problem is that they take after their dad and he comes up with the strangest stuff half the time. I can see it now, if my hubby and I don't give in then he will be threating to go to his grandma's then. I'm glad that my son is only 2 right now. Well good luck with all the obsticals that comes your way with your daughter. Happy Mylotting
2 people like this
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
2 Jan 09
Hi poppoppop111 It's funny how young children reason things out. However I admire you for your parenting skills, explaining to her and talking to her. It seems that we have to go away with the dogma mentality "Do it because I am telling you to do so" mentality that was adopted by our parents (mine at least). It seems that you have to negotiate more with young children.
2 people like this
@mimico (3619)
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
Well I don't think it's that funny. She's only five, and yet she already has this idea that moving out will solve problems if things don't go her way. Aren't you scared that when she's ten or twelve she'll fall in love and elope? Or that she really might run away from home? Anyway, it's too early for these things to happen so hopefully, you'll be able to educated her about it and be a good role model to her. :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Jan 09
most kids at this age go through this phase and they don't elope at 10. it's a common thing just like when kids say i hate you mommy and i wish you weren't my mom. it's cause they can't express themselves very well yet.
@rusty2rusty (6767)
• Defiance, Ohio
3 Jan 09
I think all kids go through a stage where they want to go live with tehother parents, move in with grandma or run away. Usaully just around the corner because they are not allowed to cross the street. Lol.. It is comical to watch at times. I am glad you hav etalked it out with your daughter.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
hehe, nice story. kids will always be kids. my 2 year old baby also cried a lot when you take away things for her protection. but after they realize that they cannot get what they want by crying, they will eventually stop.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 09
Almost every kid has done this. My little sister packed a suitcase and said she was running away, I did the same thing, my little brother even went to school and never came back. When we found him, he was walking circles around the school because he didn't want to come home "and get a woopin." We asked him why he was circling around school and he said he was just gonna go back the next day lol. This common occurrence was a surprise to my girlfriend. "When I was little, I seriously wanted to move out." "So did I." "No, I mean, really, I had a suitcase packed and everything." "And so did I, and so did my little sister. Every little kid feels like that sometimes" "Oh..."
1 person likes this
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
3 Jan 09
Wish you could see my face right now. That is so funny. I would've helped her to pack her bag. Put it by the door and made sure to have a hanky and some tears handy so she would feel terribly guilty. Children do emulate what they see and hear. You will remember this with fondness in years to come. It is truly precious. It would also make a great 21st birthday tale. Or even a great story at her wedding. Keep it in mind. Bless you and yours and Happy New Year
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Jan 09
Its good to know that you were able to fix things up with your daughter. Well, I was the daddyh's-girl before and i always thought that my dad can protect me no matter what. i guess little girls will always be like that. Because they often think that their dad is their HERO, , ,
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
3 Jan 09
WHen my daughter was about that age she also threatened to move out....to grandmas! Well first I felt really bad and tried to make it up to her....about the same situation you were going through...and she continued on and on about how she wanted to move to grandmas...so I made a sandwich and put it in a brown paper bag and told her to go ahead. I also packed a little back pack with her jammies in it....I opened the door and kissed her on the top of the head and told her goodbye...she said "aren't you going to give me a ride?" ...I wanted to laugh so bad....so she headed down the sidewalk....carrying her sack and she looked so sad..she stopped at the end of the sidewalk and turned around and came back home. She never ever threatened to move out again!
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
3 Jan 09
That it cute. When my oldest was about that age, he told me that he hated me and wanted a different Mommy. I opened the door, set him on the front porch and told him that if he hated me so much and wanted a different Mommy, he could go find one, but he wasn't going with anything but the clothes on his back. Needless to say, it took less than a minute for him to change his mind. I think that kids can be quite funny at that age, and now, he will tell that story while laughing himself.
1 person likes this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
2 Jan 09
LOL Kids are funny and clever at that age. My five year old son got mad at me one day and said he wished I was gone, he didn't want me for a mommy anymore. I said fine, I'm no longer your Mom and left him pouting in his room. About an hour later he came in and said Mommy I'm hungry, when is lunch? I looked at him calmly and said remember, I'm not your mom, that was your wish. He looked surprised and walked away. I proceeded to fix lunch for his father and I. About thirty minutes later he came in and said he was sorry for saying that. He then said NOW can I have lunch? LOL And yes, he then got lunch.
1 person likes this
@mzplased (255)
• United States
2 Jan 09
My goodness what a clever little girl you have there...LOL Hopefully this will not become a habit of hers when she gets angry..lol Glad to hear all is well again.
1 person likes this
@cindy2003 (196)
• Australia
2 Jan 09
That is so cute. My 5 year old daughter has threatened my hubby and i also like this but she said she'll be living with her nanna and poppa. It's cute, and lovable what they say and do isn't it. It's just a phase they're going through, so im not really concerned about it. LOL
1 person likes this
• Lubbock, Texas
2 Jan 09
OMG at 5??? I'm glad you had a talk with her and smoothed things out. It may be funny now, but if she ever gets away with it she'll become a yo yo and whenever Dad displeases her she'll run to Mom and visa versa. That must not happen. It really messes up a kids mind when they "win" at these games. Good going on not letting her take her toys and talking her down.
1 person likes this