People being rude

@halynn (1809)
United States
January 15, 2009 5:12pm CST
So my son is playing basketball & he's NEVER played before (he's 7). the other night we were @ basketball practice & he does good w/dribbling & other things but he can't quite make the ball up to the basket. he tries really hard. anyways this lady sitting beside me turns to me & says "looks like you need to make him lift some weights." i just kinda looked @ her & didn't say anything. I think she knew it kinda ticked me off bc she didn't speak to me anymore that night. I thought that was a really crappy thing to say. i mean he's just a little kid & they're supposed to be there to have fun you know. all the players are young & never played before they all play about the same. Do you think that was rude of her to say? or am i just being an over protective mom?
7 people like this
23 responses
• United States
16 Jan 09
It would seem classes in tact are lacking in today's society, or maybe she had an off moment? We all do, when weird things pop off at strange times? But this was pretty bad, a cruel put down at a relative baby.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
17 Jan 09
ty for the response.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 09
Your welcome!
• United States
17 Jan 09
Some people are just quick to say something, without actually considering it. Perhaps she didn't mean it to be rude, though it came off as such, but was trying to break the ice and just have someone to talk to. She apparently didn't have the right approach, but a lot of the time, people so not have ill intent, they just didn't bother to ensure they didn't give that impression.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
17 Jan 09
ty for the response
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think it would have bothered me too. Some people just don't think before they speak. This should be a requirement. There should be a written rule that states, "One must hesitate for a brief moment and utilize the brain before speaking in public." Of course I'm not certain this would work because you actually have to have a brain before you can put it to use. Just overlook the woman. I'm sure she doesn't realize how rude it is to say such things about someone else's child.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
17 Jan 09
lol,i agree
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think that was wrong. Thatwould tick me off too. The whole point of playing basketball is to go out and have fun. I mean so what if he cant quite make the basket. Is he out there haveing fun and giving it his best? If he is then thats all that matters. Tat lady was being rude in my opinion.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
17 Jan 09
TY for your response!
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think it was rude and well if someone would have said that about my son well I would have given an ear full really or may I am overly protective lol I am not sure but it was rude!
@halynn (1809)
• United States
17 Jan 09
TY for the response!
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
16 Jan 09
That is rude. She is offending you by offending your son. I would of found something that would of offended her a made a bad remark. Like if she stunk i would of said looks like you need a stronger deodorant. I am just trying to make you laugh.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
TY you did make me laugh i like that haha. thanks for the response.
@anonymili (3138)
16 Jan 09
Ugh @ rude woman! I don't understand why people have to pass snide comments like that for no reason. There's an expression that goes "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" and I think this goes double when it comes to being mean about kids. I don't think you're being over-protective but had it been mean, I would have made a comment straight back to her such as "I didn't ask your opinion on MY child actually!" with a sickly sweet smile on her face. I mean she didn't talk to you anymore after she made her smarta$$ comment anyway so you could have really given her something to smart about!
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
thats true. If it happens again i won't be so nice for sure. thanks so much for your comment.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 09
It annoys me when people do this. Like kids are suppose to play like the pros! Come on. They are suppose to play at an early age to get better not to be perfect players when they start. I remember when I was a teenager my little sister played and she was good but every now and then in the field she would get distracted and not catch the ball. Someone said something one time, not knowing that she was my sister, and it made me so ill. I think it is more annoying when they do not know who you are and start talking about whoever you are there watching. There is a time to keep your opinions to yourself and at a ball game would be a good time. The child's mother or family could be sitting right beside you and they probably will never tell you who they are and how bad their feelings were hurt.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
thanks somuch for your kind words
• India
16 Jan 09
iam also da basketball player even i never throw ball corrctly in 2 da basket some times it misse but having less energy can also b the problem for that reason. so ur postivie mom is correct and u must take adivic off everyone around naaa.. that can b also help ful for some fitness .....
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
thanks for your comment!
• Brazil
16 Jan 09
A 7 year old boy lifting weight? That is something rude to say. He is just a kid is not even healthy for him to weighlifting. Why people canĀ“t simply have fun doing things? They always have to do it allright? Sometimes is good to do things simply for the fun with no compromisse.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I agree. thanks for your comment.
@lisa0502 (1726)
• Canada
16 Jan 09
I would not have liked it if she had said it to me. I have noticed that more and more parents are expecting alot more out of their kids. The kids are not allowed to play to have fun they have to be the best. It is nice to see though that you let your child have fun and do not push for the best. She was very lucky that it was not me or my husband there because we probably would have made a comment back to her.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I have calmed down a lot since having my son to be honest had it been sev yrs ago i'd prob have smashed her nose in. however i chose not to get into it w/her. I just gave her a real hateful look & i think she took the point bc she didn't speak to me again after that. thanks for your comment.
@nigenh (167)
• India
16 Jan 09
it looks pretty rude, she shouldnt have commented of that sort, anyways it was good that you din't reply her back, certain people cannot be changed & she is one of that kind.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I totally agree. thanks so much for your response.
@kezabelle (2985)
16 Jan 09
Id probably have brushed it off and ignored her as long as my child didnt hear because no one will belittle my child and get away with it il not hjave them hurt like that. If she was just being smug id feel sorry for her more than feel angry at her how sad to feel the need to be so smug over something like a childs basketball game!!!
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
NO, my son didn't hear it i'd deff had said something to her had he heard it. he didn't tho. i just chose to ignore it rather than get into it w/her. she just seems immature. thanks
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Oh it was rude. As you said, they are just little kids. They should be learning the game and gaining skills as they go and above all...having fun. She sounds like one of those overly competitive parents who more than likely pushes and pushes her child to succeed without considering his enjoyment of the sport. Such pressure can actually cause a child to rather than love the sport, strive to please the parent. Some kids have natural talent while others don't. Those that don't, can develop talent if they find a passion for the sport (any activity). My daughter loves basketball. She started at about 7 also. She was fortunate to have some great coaches. She was tiny and not very good but she loved the game and they encouraged her. She is 15 now and a very good player. Even if she were not...as long as she enjoys it...that is what counts. who in the heck even thinks about pushing a 7 year old to lift weights? I would ignore this woman. She is being foolish.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Yeah, i totally agree w/u. as long as they're having fun thats all that matters to me. i think u are right about his person. thanks so much.
• Philippines
16 Jan 09
It depends on how the statement sounded. It might be an insult or she was trying to bridge a way to win your talk.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Thanks for your response.
@coffeeshot (3786)
• Australia
16 Jan 09
No you weren't being over protective at all. That was very rude and you were hurt by it. You are right in that they are just kids and they're there for fun and fitness. She might not have meant to be rude but it is inappropriate to put down your son in any way. Some parents are just over the top when it comes to children's sporting matches. Good on your son for trying and doing his best. He'll get there, and if he doesn't, who cares?
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Yeah, i totally agree. even if he doesn't master the skills i couldn't care less as long as he's having fun thats all that matters to me. thanks!
@singlemommy (2953)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Yes, I probably would have found it rude too. They are just kids having fun, they shouldn't have to worry about how good they are. I don't feel parents should put pressure on them to be good either. I know as they get older they need more coaching on how to fully develop their skills but at his age they are just learning how to play period. Plus, you know this being his first time playing that he probably is a little nervous with everyone watching. I wish I was closer so I could see him play because even if he didn't make a basket or anything I would make sure that he knew that I was proud of him! Tell him that Aunt Dawn said, "Keep up the good work!" Love ya'll!
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Yeah, some people just take sports too seriously. I think it's good to encourage them too! Thanks luv u girl.
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think that was a rude thing for her to say. I think the problem many people have is insecurity, so they tear down other people to make themselves feel bigger. It's sad to be on the receiving end of such an attack, but I think it's even worse when you realize you're the one who's done the attacking. Obviously nobody want to hear their child be made fun of. I think the best thing we can do is cheer on everyone else the way we would like others to cheer for us.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I totally agree. thanks so much
@Barb42 (4217)
• United States
15 Jan 09
It was rude. Kids have to have time to learn a sport. And basketball, if you have never played, is sort of hard for a child who isn't used to throwing the ball at the hoop! My grandson, who just turned 13, played on the JR High basketball team this year. He was one that jumped and got the rebounds and he was very good at it. He is pretty good at free throws. But he was having trouble with just shooting from the floor. But, before the season was over, he was doing great. In fact, in one of the last games, he made the winning 2 points and that really made his night! Some mothers want to think their kid is the star of the game, when, in fact, he might be one of the worse. So I think we need to give all the kids the benefit of the doubt. I also hate to hear a Dad hollering at his kid on the floor! We only went to one tournament of our grandsons since they live over an hour away. We got to see 3 games. This friend of his was doing good until his Dad would see a mistake and get him upset. I thought, cool it! The young man is doing good as he can and it's going to make him not want to play, which had already happened. But I think they talked him into not quitting. This kind of behavior makes you think the Dad is trying to live the life he would loved to have had through his son, or maybe trying to relive his life as a sportsman. But it made him look bad.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Thanks so much for the response barb!!!
@conbill (369)
• United States
15 Jan 09
People just don't stop and think before they speak. I think she sounded very rude. When my son was seven he played little league and was half the size of the other kids, he went up to bat and one father said, can you believe they're going to let the batboy have a turn. I just looked at him and said that's not the bat boy, that's my son. I felt the same way you did. The whole purpose of putting kids in sports is supposed to teach them sportsmanship and to have fun. Too often parents lose sight of this fact and can be really rude.
@halynn (1809)
• United States
15 Jan 09
Yeah, u are right. its to teach them sportsmanship & skills related to the game to help them when they're older. Parents do lose sight of that. Some people take sports too seriously.