Your girlfriend and her ex-lover in a room,what do you think just good friends ?

@ronnyb (6125)
Jamaica
January 16, 2009 4:09am CST
[b][/b]CAN EX-LOVERS BE JUST FRIENDS Or should ask "do you think that ex-lovers should sever all ties after the relationship is over ?.Wouldn’t it be safer especially if you were in a new relationship ?Should there still be frequent calls between the two ?There is a saying in my island "old fire sticks can be easily rekindled" which means where there was that ex-lovers can become lovers again because of the history between them. Wouldn’t you be wary if you came home and saw your girlfriend ex lover in your house ?.Can these two be just enjoying the company without thoughts of "what use to be " floating around in their minds ?Couldn’t the proximity be the spark that lights up this old flame ? What do you think?, how do you handle previous relationships, are you still friendly with the person or are you bitter ?,would you still call the person, go out on a date ?
6 people like this
20 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
16 Jan 09
i think anytime someone wants or doesn't mind being around their ex there are still feelings there for that ex. if i had a husband & came home w/his ex there i imagind we would have world war 3.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
16 Jan 09
HEHEE ,you have made a good point ,I would agree that a lot of times there are feelings there ,wether they act on it is a different matter but there is something there.Thanks once again Antique
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
16 Jan 09
are still feelings there for that ex. but why wouldnt there be..especially if the relationship was long term ya know...Just because things didnt work out doesnt mean the feelings and/or friendship just disappears...
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36491)
• United States
16 Jan 09
i just don't want to be around my ex if i had someone new & i wouldn't want my husband around his ex. i think it's an uncomfortable situation if not for everyone , some of them, don't think it could do anything but cause trouble in the long run, just my opinion of course. have a good one,
@Stiletto (4597)
16 Jan 09
I wouldn't say I was good friends with any of my ex-lovers although I'm on good terms with most of them when I meet them. I wouldn't go out of my way to meet any of them though! I suppose the bottom line for me is that they're out of my life now, I don't really want to continue any kind of relationship with them and I don't need to either. Having said that, I know a few people who are good friends with an ex and it works out ok for them. My partner is on good terms with his ex-wife. In fact we've actually been out socially with her and her partner. Only once and it's not something that would be a regular thing but it was ok. They have tried to remain on good terms for the sake of the children and I think that's sensible. I don't think it's necessarily the case that "what used to be" will be "floating around in their minds" but I do think there's a limit, or at least there is for me. I have no problem with my partner being on good terms with his ex but if the two of them were going out on a date - well, that would be a different story!
1 person likes this
@ana31798 (41)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think you can be just friends with an ex lover. I am best friends with my ex, we have known eachother for almost 16 years. We were friends before anything ever happened. we started dating and it didn't work out but our friendship was still there. He is married now and I hang out with him and his wife. Between us there is only friendship. I am also friends with other people I have dated and I don't see anything wrong with that. The romantic feelings that were once there are no longer there for me so there is no chance of it being more than friendship ever again. But I suppose everyone is different with different experiences. Some people may hold on to the romantic feelings and in that case the relationship staying just friends is a little more difficult. It really depends on the people involved. For me, personally, I say someone could be just friends with their ex lover.
@money1 (107)
• United States
17 Jan 09
I think ex-lovers can be friends i was in a relationship for 4 years with a guy and it didn't work out because of his cheating but we stayed friends after the break-up i guess it was because he's been a family friend for years, me and my ex are best friends now and i'm also good friend with his wife i was the one who introduce them after he told me he was attracted to her but i wouldn't be hanging out at his house without his wife being present because it just wouldn't look right. I do believe if you spend alot a alone time with your ex who is now your friend old feeling might creep up ,but that only happens if you never really stopped loving each other in the first place.
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
17 Jan 09
Funny you should ask this question, I believe that the ex and current can get along, all depending on said person and what they said about one to the other. My ex's wife and I can't STAND each other. Infact, whenever SHE shows up, I give her such a dirty look. My goodness, even when my son was in the ER, she had the gall to yell at me for being late picking up the kids. Whatever. My first hubby's wife and I get along, great in fact. We always message each other, giving advice about this and that, it's like having a gal pal I never wanted. *lol* *Pleiades
@thanxiang (126)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
For me,if i have new one,then i should not let my ex call me,date me or accept the friendship.It would be unfair to my lover if i still entertain him.Since the relationship in the ex didn't work,then i guess it wont work also even for friendship.I should be sensitive for the emotion of my hubby if i will continue the friendship to my ex.I should devote my time to my hubby only and not with my ex.Have a good day!
@lynnemg (4540)
• United States
17 Jan 09
I think that ex's can remain good friends. Just because an intimate relationship didn't work between two people doesn't meant that they don't still have common interests. I personally, have reained friends with most of my ex's. I do not talk to them now that I am married, but if I see them on the streets, I will say, "hi" to them. I definately would not have them in my house when my husband was gone though. That would create issues in my marriage that I do not want or need.
• United States
17 Jan 09
There is history..true.. but there can be bad history as well. There have been people that I have been in a relationship with that were really awesome friends before. They were a lowsy partner for me though. In another realm, I might even continue to be good friends with them and had never of dated them. Some people may still have left over care for someone, I am just saying, don't forget that sometimes, there might of not been much intimate feelings in the relationship, and even if they were, might of been been replaced after the realization that they were not a good match. It just usually happens that people part ways for good when a relationship is over. I have known a lot of people though, who have "went steady" with someone for as little as a few days, ended the relationship, but continued to hang out and act as they had before.
@CRIVAS (1822)
• Canada
17 Jan 09
Personally I don't speak to my ex's and neither does my husband. My theory is this: Why invite trouble? It may be harder for past relationships to stay in the past especailly if you still care for your ex. Personally I know that I would never be unfaithful to my husband but this still doesn't seem like a good idea to me. I think it might also hurt the relationship because of insecurities.
@jenrl17 (420)
• United States
16 Jan 09
It all depends on the 2 people involved I think. Many times you hear that ex's should part ways, but I think its possible to still be friends. I had a friend who wasnt really an ex per say, we just did it a lot (altho I loved him for many years) and were very close friends. We arent close anymore, which is cool cause Ive moved on and just grew apart, but we're still friends, just not close ones anymore. As they say, anythings possible.
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I think it'd be ok as long as everyone understands what's going on now and keep it that way. I mean for the guy it's kind of like playing with fire but it's not that bad as long as they get along. I'd say make them be friends and keep it that way. As soon as the ex BS comes into a conversation at least you can defend your case by what does it matter now because it didn't matter when you became friends. Something to consider though.
@noniefam (284)
• Indonesia
16 Jan 09
i dont know . maybe ur gf still love him. but dont be angry first, u must control ur emotion n ask ur gf what she n her x bf in room????????
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
16 Jan 09
[i]Hi ronnyb, I will be fine as long as the ex has a family and happy with her family but when it is the other way around, hmmm....I might not be comfortable thinking they had the past and temptations are everywhere! No matter if you trust your partner! If I am in the situation, I will be uncomfortable and maybe talk to my partner about it, about my feelings so he knows also how to help me and he knows his limitations![/i]
@violeta_va (4842)
• Australia
16 Jan 09
I cant be with any of my ex (as in be involved with them) ever again simply because they are my ex and if everything was ok they would not have been ex but current. All of them turned out to be idiots. I still say hi to them I have had a drink with some we have called each other to see how we are or to congratulate each other on something but there is no feelings on my part and never will be. I love my husband and I would never cheat on him to me that is the lowest I can ever get.
@tepitenio (119)
• Israel
16 Jan 09
I am going to be terminant on this subject. There is no possible friendship between man and women (unleast they are the couple!). Always, and I mean always, one of the two wants something else with the other. I tested it with my friends and is a very real thing. Eather he or she are interested in something more than friendship. Trust me, dont try it. And if you do, be clear from the start what are your intentions and ask the other person to be honest aabout his/her intentions. Happy Mylotting, my friends (???)
@kezabelle (2985)
16 Jan 09
It all depends on the person if someone is my ex they are my ex for a reason I dont try and live in the past so they will always stay an ex. I love my partner I dont want to be with anyone else so for me I could easily be friends with an ex because i love my partner too much to want to be with anyone else, I mean surely if you cant be friends with an ex you couldnt be friends with anyone you might just find attractive? If someone is going to stray they will do so be it with an ex or someone new so like I say it all depends on the person and their morals!
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
16 Jan 09
If the two have children together there will always be a need for communication between them. However if they do not I'm not sure they can just be friends. I'm sure old feelings would surface at one time or another. It is alright for them to speak occasionally. However if it were my spouse and an ex I wouldn't want them to be spending a lot of time together. But I guess I would be OK with them speaking every once in a while as long as I am aware of it. Hiding things would definitely lead to other things I'm sure.
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
16 Jan 09
Ex lovers most certainly can be friends assuming they both want to be...I've remained friends with all my ex's except two (one because he was abusive, the other becuase i was abusive)...the others though, I've remained very good friends with..Why wouldnt I? I mean we were friends BEFORE dating so why should that stop just becuase dating didnt work out ya know...
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
16 Jan 09
I'm not really quite sure what the relationship between my girlfriend and her past lover actually is. I hope that they are good friends because me and her ex lover are pretty good friends ourselves. I think that we all need to forgive and forget and just all love each other because it's obviously the best way.
• India
16 Jan 09
it can be possibe,they are only frind now,if you do not like it do just talk to her, but do not take any step without knowing whole situation ,talk to her then come to conclusion