Are you selective in approving friends request in Mylot?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
July 21, 2009 2:07pm CST
I have noticed the influx of new members in mylot lately. When I checked their profiles nothing much is said about their identity like their age or originality. But within minutes of their joining in they are spreading fast like bushfire. They response to many discussions but only start one or two discussions. This is most welcomed for newbies to be active and responsive but what I noticed is the way they response to the discussions which I feel is quite sarcastic and rude sometimes. They have no regard to the rules and regulations of mylot. I fear this group of newbies with questionable behavior are only out to tarnish the good name of this place. They have no diplomacy at all. I get few request for friends from newbies with less than 10 credits to their names or some with zero besides their names. I am skeptical as to their motives of asking me to be their friends since they have not even responded to any of my discussions. I am quite selective in admitting new people to my friends list as the talk of trolling has been the hot topics here. Would you admit anyone to be in your friends list or wait for them to prove their merit?
18 people like this
65 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I tend to be selective of who I add. I didn't used to be. When I joined some of the top members on here said to add everyone and anyone to your list to make more money. It didn't seem to make a difference how many friends I had though. It seemed like when I started discussions that most of the responses came from people not on my friends list. I think probably over half of those on my list now aren't even active. So I usually wait to see how people are doing on here and if they are staying active before I add them.
4 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
You are doing the right thing. I realize that too whenever I post a new discussion, I bound to get new people responding to my post. Only a handful of my friends come to response to my post. Having pages and pages of friends in our list doesn't bring any changes.
2 people like this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
21 Jul 09
Hi zandi, I'm also very selective who I accept although initially I just accepted, then had a good clean out. I would rather find people with similar interests and check that they are polite enough to comment on responses as friends. I just deleted one who opened about 25 meaningless topics every day but did not comment to anyone. Also I am particularly annoyed at a few pending ones who I have declined more than once who keep coming back and have literally 100's of friends but are not active in postings.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Hi cher, yes am quite active in mylot and we do share the same views. Maybe those who are younger does not share our interest but they do have strong voice on certain issues. Sometimes need to be flexible but not at the expense of making the wrong choices of friends.
1 person likes this
@aravindkrd (610)
• India
21 Jul 09
I just wondered wats so special about 18 year old boys (I'm 18 :) )
2 people like this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
21 Jul 09
I have been very selective since I approved a friend request early on and was immediately hit with a very long spam email. Since then, I check profiles for common interests before approving or requesting friends. If someone's activity is solely in the 'make extra money' area of interest, I don't approve the request, as it's almost certain to be a spammer. I always keep new members pending until I have seen some of their responses, as banned members often come back with another identity just to troll and cause problems.
I now have a clear out of my friends list about once a month. If there is someone there who hasn't responded to my discussions, or hasn't posted anything interesting enough for me to want to respond to, I delete them. I have about 40 friends, and I am able to keep track of most of their discussions. I also keep in touch with a few of them who have become good friends over the last few months. Where friends are concerned, as with other aspects of Mylot, quality is much more important than quantity.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Hi Sandra, I agree wholly on your views. Before I used to approve anybody who requested but experience have taught me that not all friends in the list are beneficial to mylotting purposes. They are there only as decorative items and have not participated in any of my discussions. I do have pages of friends in my list as sleeping partners and that needs to be trimmed since they don't participate in mylot.
1 person likes this
@aravindkrd (610)
• India
21 Jul 09
I just check whether our FIELDS OF INTERESTS and TOPICS OF DISCUSSION match..
If yes, I approve..
If no, pending..
Initially I didn't know wat to do.. and had to make a clean up at the end!
Now I'm fine.. happy myloting.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
22 Jul 09
I was always quite selective ever since I started in mylot. Not because I'm a snob, but because many people seemed to want to be friends just to pm me with referral links. So I always check the profiles before I approve. For me to approve someone as a friend I have to find discussions that I would like to participate, and responses that are genuine and well thought. Also people that have their profiles filled up with referrals and links might not be accepted.
I have a number of friends requests that I am not sure of what to do with, so I sometimes wait a bit until I see more participation from that member.
If I see someone that consistently responds with less than respect I will not approve that person as a friend.
I have made a few mistakes here and there, but as a whole, my friends create quality discussions and are very good contributors here in mylot.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 Jul 09
I have also noticed that & u are right some of them are very rude. They seem to know an awful lot to just to have gotten on mylot. I like new friends & appreciate anyone's info to my my discussion but am not to crazy about the way some of them present it. I had one guy that kept calling me pal& was just full of what he thought ni should do. I told him i was not his pal & i never have liked to be bossed by anyone especially some rude man. I always check out their profile when they send a request but as u say they don't tell much. I know how to delete somone real quick if i need to, don't u. good to hear from u. take care.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 09
Have I told you that I deleted someone from my list only to see him coming back the next day to request for my friendship again. You guess, I took him back again despite getting a warning from a friend that he is a 'suspect' in trolling. Though I sound to be tough in this discussion but deep inside me there is still a space that is soft and compassionate.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
25 Jul 09
U hadn't told me that. I did the same thing w/a guy & i bet he has sent me a dozen requests since then & why i don't know because he had never said one word to me. I was just going through cleaning out people i never heard from etc. I don't know what is deal is?? do we just attract the loonies. lol?
1 person likes this
tdemex@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Lets group together as 'old timers' of mylot and confront the real issue that has turned this place into a battlefield. It is fun to be here but troubles have been brewing up lately which has caused a lot of miseries to the genuine and loyal members of mylot. It needs the support of everyone to rid this place of bad hats.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Yes, you are correct the whole purpose of being here is to create friendships and share our views on many issues but lately it has been a nightmare in mylot where people create dubious accounts and rock the peacefulness of this place. As soon as they have fulfilled their desires of creating havoc here, they leave a painful trail of anger and dissatisfaction among mylotters.
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Whenever I get a friend request, I usually look at their profile to see their activity. Mostly I'm looking to see what the common ground is, or common interests. If there are any, then I accept them. I've not run across the rudeness I keep hearing about. In the dicussions I've seen, the 'newbies' responses have been mostly excellent. I hope going forward, that you start seeing the great new members that I see. I'd rather myLot get bigger rather than smaller.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
Their participation is the main criteria that I choose when I approve them in my friends list. My gate of friendships have always been open for all to come but due to some who are not sincere I am forced to vet those who request for friendships.
1 person likes this
@abbypringles (1613)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
not really. i haven't really taken that into mind. but thanks for raising it up so i can be more vigilant in the future. ;)
1 person likes this
@abbypringles (1613)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
hopefully not. but i will remain cautious of the people i associate myself with. thanks for the info ;)
1 person likes this
@natnickeep (2336)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Well I am kind of new here. But you wont get any rudeness out of me. I think a lot of people come to the internet looking for friends and that may have brought them here. Some people like me come to express them selves and learn about others. And then there are those "internet bullies", who look for any social site and try to down other people to make themselves feel better. Really it's sad. The best thing to do is just laugh it off. They are only looking for a response out of you.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157629)
• United States
22 Jul 09
You are very wise for a newby. I hope you have lots of wonderful days and long discussions here on MyLot. It is my internet home, and I love it, even when it is flawed.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I couldn't of said this better. There are so many people that are definately like this, and it does not help make this site better for sure. I am selective now as well with adding someone unless I am familiar with who they are, or how ofen they are posting in here, etc. I would rather have people wanting to be here to make Good friends other than be here and add people and have trouble caused as well.
1 person likes this
@vicky30 (4766)
• India
7 Aug 09
I am not selective in approving friends on mylot
.Whoever sends me a friend request i will accept it.There has been times when i have got got cheated with referral links.I have joined a few of them unknowingly.Now i am active to see that i don't get cheated again.From now on i will wait for friends to prove their merit before accepting them.
.Whoever sends me a friend request i will accept it.There has been times when i have got got cheated with referral links.I have joined a few of them unknowingly.Now i am active to see that i don't get cheated again.From now on i will wait for friends to prove their merit before accepting them.@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 09
Maybe you have been spared from becoming a victim of trolls who come in as newbies who really need friends but once admitted to be our friends they create endless problems. I am actually a friendly person but because of bad experiences here I tend to be more careful and selective.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
9 Aug 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
Well, in my case I follow blind. I accede everyone's request and pull out that toggle switch 'ON' to get alert messages on thier activeness. But I do observe later on, and may even visit their profile. There are many things not compulsory to disclose. So under population we find many members from un-disclosed places. In fact all this may be scretunised at myLot admin forum. You are true in your discussion. But it hardly matters as i welcome everyone and never thoght of selective. May god bless You and have a great time.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
15 Aug 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
As everyone has one's own ways, I too would like to remain unique and normally never get moved or thrown by wayes. I try and think, where did I go wrong. I wish to recieve everyone here with my both open arms, feel tehir warmthness as they are all belong to where I belong to. May God bless You and have a great time.
@jimeny (640)
• Israel
22 Jul 09
I'm new here, but I try to follow the rules.
I also starting to post a lot here because I have a lot of free time, and this site makes an excelent way to spend it. (I also got very addicted after I got replys xD)
Is there anything special about adding friends here? I already got a friend invite from someone and I didn't mind to add him...however, I do think it's weird I already got a friendship invite from anyone.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 09
welcome to mylot. As a newbie you should invite friends as it will help your discussions to have better exposure. You might have joined mylot through that person who is the first in your friends list. Get going and make your presence felt here by responding to as many discussions as you can and at the same instance request to be poster to be your friends.
1 person likes this
@waydeshang (5)
• China
23 Jul 09
I am a new members,I learned Mylot from a friend who learning EngLish in Mylot.
So I join in too ,mostly to reading, to listening and to studying.
and thanks for everyone to point out my error in English writing.
wayde
@mrshughes (352)
• Philippines
15 Aug 09
hi. im just a newbies here in this site..i sign in for curiousity and also hoping to make an extra bit of income maybe. i am still learning and trying to make friends here...i could fully understand u guys in selecting friends. as a new member in this site...my motive of making friends here is for me to feel at home and not a stranger. thanks and more power...
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 09
I hope this discussion didn't frighten you and hope it didn't influence you when it comes to friends request. As a newbie you should invite many friends to your side as it will help in your discussions. We have been here long enough which us prone to troll target. Newbies are always on the safer side. The trolls have not smelled your presence yet. 
