if you borrow money to your parents, do you pay back?

Philippines
August 6, 2009 2:59pm CST
I know I'm doing this. When I currently don't have money and I want to buy something, I borrow money to my dad or to my mom. Then I say that I will give it back to them when I already have my money. But I was wondering, its kinda weird to me, I'm still a student right now and don't have income on my own. When I have money, it obviously came from my parents. So it means that I'm paying back the money I borrow to them which also came from them. Weird right? Is that fair or what???
5 people like this
32 responses
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
6 Aug 09
We all knew that wasn't a fair business with your parents. Nonetheless, you are their precious princess, they have to give you the money to spend. If you want to do something in return, just be a good person, and whenever you have the fund available, pay them back. They might feel much pleasure if you do so.
@ladym33 (11012)
• United States
6 Aug 09
I agree, right now they want you to get a good education. So do good in school and be a good person. You will have the rest of your life after you get out of school to do nice things for your parents. I am sure they understand that as a student you don't have any money right now.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yes, I agree. Right now, the best way I can do is to study hard and finish school so that my parents won't be disappointed with me. If I may be able to have a stable job then that's the time I can return the good things they have done to me. ^^
@phyrre (2351)
• United States
6 Aug 09
Sounds like you're in a weird position. I guess just pay back what you owe when you do get a job. I never borrowed money from my parents, but I've borrowed quite a bit from my grandparents. We pay them back when we have the money. We've got a running tally on our note board and we've only got a couple hundred left that we owe (we pay about $50 a month to them). I can't imagine ever borrowing money and not paying it back. I'm very proud and very stubborn, so I'd run myself ragged and get only maybe 2 hours of sleep a day if I had to in order to get it all paid off. Thankfully my debts aren't quite THAT bad, but still. :) They're getting paid.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yah, sounds kinda weird to me also. Hmmm.. I don't usually borrow money to anyone because I don't like having debts. Its also embarrassing if you borrow money and you forgot to pay it back even its not a huge money. But still its a big thing for me.
• United States
6 Aug 09
You can ask them for money but I think if you ask them to borrow it, they expect it back.
1 person likes this
@Elaine77 (315)
• China
7 Aug 09
I agree.
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 09
If you are asking what is more than you normally have, then you have to give back if you have extra money on hands. I am sure your parents will have pocket money for you to spend. Try to tell your parents if you have no enough money to use. If they know you use your money wisely and still don't get enough from what you have, I am sure they will give you more pocket money. It is better than you borrow from them.
• India
7 Aug 09
I believe that the upbringings and the love that we get from our parents will be so much high that no amount of money will be able to match its level.The parents don't wish to take any money from their children .All they want is the love and support from the childrens,which is rare in these modern days once parents get older.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I think our parents will be more gratified if we show them our appreciation to all the things they have done to us. Thanks for the response.. ^^
@frinces (419)
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I don't borrow money from my parents. I ask them to give me. If they give me, I don't return it back. If I have my own money, I initiate to give them. If they ask for money, I don't ask or demand them to pay it back to me. Our treatment with money is that once it was given, we should not ask for a return, unless it is intended for something important, then we let it borrowed and we don't add interest.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
When my dad borrow money from me because he's short of cash that time, I gave him my savings then sometimes I don't ask for him to give it back to me.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Your post made me smile ;) I just remember when I was still a student, we share the same experience. Well I guess it's just how it is. It is very common amongst us Filipinos. Up until now, I'm married and got a kid, I still borrow from my parents whenever the budget gets tight. And you know what? Oftentimes, when I was about to repay them, they just tell me to just it give it to our apo (grand daughter). But sometimes, I do insist to give the money back to them especially when the amount goes to more than a thousand. Well I guess we all are lucky to have generous parents.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yeah, I guess we Filipinos are very much attached to our parents. I sometimes feel guilty when I borrow money from them and then not paying it back to them especially when I asked money from them because I need it for our school fees even if I really don't need it. (bad girl) But as I grow older, I realized that what I'm doing is wrong. Now, I rarely ask money from my parents if I don't really need it badly. When I asked money for our school fee I can't help but to say the exact amount of what I need. ^^
@ladym33 (11012)
• United States
6 Aug 09
Since you have no way of paying it back, I am thinking your parents are really just giving it to you at this point so you can occasionally buy things while going to school. If you feel really bad about it you could start keeping track of the money they give you and then once you get your first job you can pay them back all they money they have given you. But I am sure they are just trying to help you out now while you go to school, and I am sure they feel this is their resonsibility as parents.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I'm also thinking about that. So right now, I must study hard so that I could find a good job. And then I will give my first salary to my parents. ^^
• United States
7 Aug 09
At first when I started borrowing I had a hard time paying them back because I didn't want to share my money. Not that I was selfish or anything but because I never had alot of money growing up. But now that I have gotten older I have become more responsible in paying them back. I feel bad when I don't pay them back and I rarely ask for money. I do work for my parent's occasionally and make about $140 a month. That is money that I don't have to pay back and it helps me out alot between pay checks.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Aug 09
I would never borrow money from my parents. My parents would never lend me money either, but they would lend it to my sister and have
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Why is that? Is there something you did that's why your parents don't lend you money?
• Canada
7 Aug 09
No, my sister has children and I don't so they don't think I'm special enough to deserve their help.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Maybe your parents feel that your sister need the money more because she has kids.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Your parents are catering to you. I hope you appreciate it. I have 4 kids and 3 of them are grown. I am a single mom. When I lent them money...I DID expect it back. Not only because I needed it but because I wanted to teach them to be responsible. it Of course, I have helped my kids out at times when I was able to and they very much appreciate it. I raised them to be independent and they are. Sometimes when I know my daughter is really hurting for money and she can't afford to pay me back....I just tell her to forget it...just beause I love her and want to help her out. You are very fortunate.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Thanks, I salute you for raising your four kids on your own. ^^ That's a very challenging task to do. I'm very lucky because my parents are very kind and not that strict when it comes to giving me money. That's why in return I don't abuse their kindness to me. ^^
• United States
7 Aug 09
sid556 That is what I think all parents do. I know that I am one of those. Before my husband got laid off we helped out my two adult sons. Everyone at some point and time need that help. I totally agree with you that they do need to learn how hard money to come by and if you loan money to them you expect it back. The key word is LOAN.
@Elaine77 (315)
• China
7 Aug 09
I think you can ask your parents for money since you are now have no income, but if you borrow money from your parents, you should remember to pay it back to them, after you have the ability to earn money by yourself, and then pay them back. I think it's not about the money, it's about responsibility. You can ask them for money but since you borrow money from them, it's better to pay them back. Anyway, it's just my opinion.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yup, the word responsibility is a big thing. And I think we should practice that at an early age. I mean when you borrow money even to your parents, its your responsibility to pay it back to them, it doesn't matter when will you pay back. You have the lifetime to give them the good things that they deserve right? ^^
@Elaine77 (315)
• China
7 Aug 09
Yes, parents usually never push you to pay them back, and you sure do have a life time to give them the good things. Have a nice day!
• United States
7 Aug 09
Well, you have a few options here: 1. Stop borrowing money 2. Get a job 3. Do household chores for an allowance This will help you to learn some responsibility and your parents will have respect or you.
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
1. I'm trying to avoid this now as much as possible. 2. I will do that after I finish my school ^^ 3. Haha.. I do this sometimes.. When my mom ask me to clean the whole house, she bribes me money and I willingly accepts it! But when I'm in the mood I voluntarily do the housework. ^^
@Hatley (109815)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Aug 09
hi jenskye I have never done that when my parents were alive, but my son has borrowed money from me and he always has paid me back,I never asked him too he just said it was only fair,I would never have asked for it as I am his mom but he wanted to so okay.He is a very good young man and I am so proud of him and so sorry now that hes been out of work for so long. its so hard for' a man to be out of work long,worse even than for a woman, I think.
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Hi Hatley. You're son is a good person. He is very responsible for doing that. It just mean that he respects you and take his word for anything he does. I'm glad you are proud of your son, you are lucky to have a son like him. Thanks for the response. ^^
@cindy27 (130)
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Im a newly grad.. and after less than a year of working. even as much as i would like too my parents won't even take any amount of money from me or any of my siblings even if its borrowed. So we always end up to giving them gifts or things we know they like but don't even want to buy for themselves because its not in their list of priorities.. We buy them gifts at their own cost :) but atleast its still the thought that counts.
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Hey.. I'm sure your parents will appreciate anything you can give them. They would be glad if they see their children to become more responsible and mature with the help of them. ^^
@scrawl (374)
• India
7 Aug 09
yes, very much...with a little extra bit...my mum loves it when i do that
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Ahhh.. you pay back with interest? wow.. good.. ^^
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
7 Aug 09
If you are doing things to earn the money it is fair.If you just ask for money you are not expected to pay it back,This is just how ,I see it. I never ask now that ,I am married.But will borrow and pay back its a great feeling to let your parents see you in mature situations that once felt weird .
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
I am sure my parents will be proud if I become more responsible especially when handling money. Thanks for the response! Happy MyLotting!!! ^^
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
7 Aug 09
My husband got laid off about 6 months ago. At that time we only had enough in savings to get us thru for a couple of months. We then had to move into our camper to his mothers property. He draws unemployment and it pays the bills. WE have to borrow money his mom to get us thru from pay check to pay check. We will pay her back when he goes back to work. My reason is that she has helped us out now and in return we can help her out by paying it back. My main point is if you pay back what you borrow with your own money then they will be more likely to give it out when you really need it.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Yup I agree, giving or paying back what you borrow is a good practice. It means that you stay true to your words and they will trust you for that. Thank you for responding. ^^
@bingchen (1126)
• China
7 Aug 09
i could not have ability to pay back money,i earned these money only enough to my spending.of couse,i hope that i can pay back money to my parents.i found that i would live alone and be respond with something,the rent and spending and saving from my salary ,and so on.i found that there is limited for spending my money,especially i hope that i can study more at college and improve my education,so i hope that my parents can help me to finish my education and borrow money from them.if i have good job and enough money,i can pay back to them.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I'm sure you could pay your parents. You could pay them back even if not in terms of money. Thanks for the response. ^^
• India
7 Aug 09
No i don't pay them back because i don't earn money yet and they don't even ask for the return i will be paying them back in future by earning money myself.
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
I'm gonna do that also when I already have a job. Thanks for responding.. ^^
@advokatku (3997)
• Indonesia
7 Aug 09
lol. You really like me when I'm 10-25 years age. Ago, I'm often borrow my parents money and never pay back. Relax and enjoy, jenskye. as long as you still kid your parents, I believe they never take it, except your parents stingy
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Haha, luckily my parents are generous enough to give me money. I'm happy with that. That's why I'm very grateful. I don't abuse their kindness to me. ^^