are we too careful with welcoming unknown people into our home?

@Hatley (163781)
Garden Grove, California
August 7, 2009 10:22am CST
my question is prompted by a discussion I just answered about this mylotter coming to your door on a Saturday morning. so many said they would not welcome the person unless the person was a friend, and I am thinking if she says I am so and so from Mylot,my God why would you not want to meet her or him? are we so afraid that a stranger is always a bad person that we would shut the door to a fellow mylotter? this sort of worries me. I mean if the stranger indentifies her or himself, why would any of us not welcome a fellow mylotter? maybe I am too naive but I get lonely here at Gold Crest and would love company any time.
7 people like this
21 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
7 Aug 09
Hi Hatley! I think thst the meaning of 'friend' is different among the younger users compared to those who have more experience of years past. The word 'friend' is used too lightly nowadays. Not all the Lotters are my friends. I cannot be a friend to someone I met the day before and have exchanged nothing but a couple of words with BUT this does not mean I cannot offer hospitality. I can accomodate them on my list of friends here and open the door to them if they arrive at my house and THEN there could be the start of a friendship. That is how I am offline too, available for all but my friends are few and far between
3 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi my me too I think we use friend and love a bit too loosely but I would extend friendship I think to a mylotter who came to my door.welcome them and see if we can grow a real friendship.
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
7 Aug 09
I would think that anyone at myLot who wanted to meet you in person would ask permission first, before coming unannounced. That would be simple to do by using the message link. Then, knowing in advance that you had company coming who you only knew online, perhaps you could have a neighbor or other friend/family be there at the same time. It would certainly be rude for anyone like that to show up out of the blue like that, and I wouldn't let them in. That said, with pre-planning it's a lot of fun to meet friends we've made online. I have several friends through Pogo that I've had the pleasure of meeting. All get togethers have all been planned in advance.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
catdla1 you bring up a valid point, I like to know in advance too because even here I might be out if the mylotter just dropped in unannounced. you know I had not really thought of that point. I know when I went calling on friends I would phone first because they may be at work, or out shopping. my mom used to drive me nuts as she never phoned ahead. once she even walked in on my hubby and me in out bedroom doing what married people do. I dont know who was my embarassed her or me.
1 person likes this
@Poison_Girl (4150)
• United States
8 Aug 09
Letting someone you've never met into your home is a scary thing. I don't care if they're from MyLot. How do I know for sure? Maybe if I've seen a picture of them or something, but even then, I don't think I'd let them in. Especially if I didn't tell them where I lived. That would be stalking!! If anyone wants to meet someone from MyLot (or the internet in general), they should meet in a public place and leave separately. I'd even take it as far as making sure they weren't following me. Maybe I'm paranoid, but it's better to be safe than sorry! Right?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
poison girl it is better to be safe than sorry but sometimes we can go overboard. I would wish that any mylotter who wanted to viist me would call ahead, and then we could chat and find out if he or she was who he or she said they were. I know I am too trusting but I get lonely here.
• United States
9 Aug 09
We could chat all we wanted to, but that person could be making up a ton of lies. I'd rather meet them in a public place first and then decide. But even meeting them isn't a guarantee I'll let them into my home. The world is full of too many creeps and weirdos.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Aug 09
by the same token turning this around, and pretending I have a home of my own which I do not. I am a law Abiding decent elderly lady but if I asked you to my home for tea sAy,how do I' know you are also decent and law abiding, as I only have your word for it and I have never met'you. Now I am sure you Are but see what I am Asking?
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 09
Those people we have been interacting here everyday should not be a problem. They are as good as our real friends. They are most welcome if any would want to visit me and I will be their tourist guide here. A mylot friend will be coming over to my place in October and hope he can make it. But the prevailing swine flu is quite disturbing for traveling tourists now. It is worse here now.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
that is just what I felt zandi, I love being friends here and mylot has saved my life in many ways. so I would welcome a mylotter to my home, but it would be to my room here.I have been so lucky to escape the swine flu but have read about causing trouble for travelers.
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
7 Aug 09
People are afraid of everything these days I answered that discussion and said I would let her in, introduce her to Shelly and Esme and then go from there. I don't know what people were thinking. It's not like she's a stalker or something
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
thanks for comment I would welcome any mylotter to my room here and be so pleased that he or she thought that much] of me. love your shoes fwidman hatley here.
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Maybe yes, they are just being careful but we can always try to find out if he/she is telling the truth. Though, maybe we haven't seen any picture of him/her on mylot, then we can ask him/her some questions regarding some discussions on mylot that he/she has posted. Or basic questions about his/her profile or mutual friends on mylot. That way we can relax and let them in if he/she matches the things you know from the friend he/she says he/she is on mylot and enjoy meeting a friend personally. I think i am too, because i trust easily, though i hope that the friend who knocked on this mylot friend is really a fellow mylotter. Take care my friend!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
I trust too easily too but I would like it if the mylotter phoned me first and clued me in as to who she or he was I would be able to tell then that that person was safe
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
yes phoning first showsthoughtfulness onthe part of the mylotter
• Philippines
9 Aug 09
Yes, i think that is a good idea, just to be safe. Take care, my friend!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
8 Aug 09
Well, it really depends on who the people are, and my gut instincts when meeting with them and talking with them on what I would do. Because even with any person online here or otherwise not every person is who they say they are and you do need to be cautious. But overall I also see nothing wrong with meeting strangers even from here in a public place and talking before inviting them into your home if you have doubts about someone. Because in reality it is really Best to be safe than Sorry in everything you do as well.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Aug 09
hi Krause yes one has to trust your gut feeling for it is always pretty accurate. we can always meet in a public place or we can learn just who our mylot friends are first so we know that they are okAy. my son made friends on the internet with A person he took from the boys emails to be his junior but when robbie had not heard for a long while from' his friend he got hold of the friends relatives who my son that his friend was even older than my son ' And hAd hAd a stroke from high blood pressure.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
I don't know the discussion you're referring to Hatley but I think if I was to meet someone from here it would be pre-arranged. The people most like to turn up here unnanounced(lol, I'm in the middle of nowhere) I think I would recognise by sight because I've seen photos of them.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Aug 09
hi mstickle that is just what I would do.prearrange everything so I would know just who I am meeting 'and there would be no problem at all.I have also'seen pictures of some of my friends.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 Aug 09
Well if I need someone to fix my dishwasher or my microwave, and that person is a myLotter on whose profile says "hobby is fixing motors," or has a web site that says "J and J Repairs, sales tax #,,, " I would welcome him or her. Or if the mylot friend has similar interests and says "I am --- you know me by my mylot name --- and I came to visit my --- who also lives in Winnipeg and I thought I would just drop in and see how you are," so it depends on whether there is a connection. That person would give clues. The only thing wrong is that I might not have something prepared, and would feel guilty that I cannot offer them a cup of coffee and some squares.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi suspenseful as always you make such good sense. a thoughtful mylotter would surely phone first to make sure you could have him or her visit at that time, and would clue you in on who he or she was.
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
yes i am extra careful. first we dont have a father figure at home second i am the only parent and i have four teen children and three os them are girls so i need to be extra careful. if someone is knocking at the door and i dont know them i just talk with them on the window. ny children does that too. i told them to do that. in answering the phone too is the same do not give any identification to people you dont know or dont to long with them. if its a fellow myloter them i am sure he or she will advice me before going to my place. i know no one will surprise visit me for they dont know exactly where i live.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 09
We too have rules for the kids not to meet at home. That is what a restaurant is for, safety in numbers and in a well populated area. I cannot count the number of times I have sat in another area at the kids request until I got the all safe signal and went back to my book while they got acquainted.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
8 Aug 09
i will often do so since i have a business i run from my house,but watch them close
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
yes being a business person you would be able to tell if the mylotter was who he or she said he or she was, and then you come be comfortable with the mylotter
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
7 Aug 09
I would love to meet some of my friends from MyLot. I have already been invited by a few people, I don't have a lot of money to spend on travelling at the moment, but I hope to meet those friends one day. If they ever visit Denmark, I will welcome them with open arms, I will show them around, tell them about my country etc. I would be excited to meet them and I would look forward to talking to them I am a girl and if I were living alone I wouldn't invite a male friend inside my house, if we had never met before. But if a friend from MyLot comes to visit me, my husband and I would meet him/her together and that is a different situation.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
wow Denmark hi porcospino if you ever come to garden grove ca in the USA do come see me at Gold crest, would love to meet you and learn about Denmark, and tellyou all about California too.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi porcospino I would love to come to Denmark and'meet'you but that does cost money. Everything fun anymore costs 'so much.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Aug 09
Thanks I would love to visit California one day. If you ever come to Denmark let me know, I woudl be happy to show you around etc
1 person likes this
@busky5 (3164)
• Thailand
10 Aug 09
I will too careful when my house have the strangers come in my house.I don't want to happen but sometime i will fix the air or water.I can't avoid this situations.I will keep my wallet and the valued stuff in the good place.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Aug 09
busky5 I think that in the case of people from mylot'you would have found out all about your mylot friends before you prearranged a meeting so there would be no worries 'as you would know if there was anything not right about'them and would not have them come to your house unless you knew you could trust them.
@thokius (426)
• Austria
8 Aug 09
Hello Hatley, as I replied to the other discussion I would let anyone in. For me anyone is a friend until otherwise. I don't care about what a person looks like/ has done. I would let him/her in anyways. Cheers! Thok
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi hatley here me too, I am always thrilled here when I get company and would love to meet all mylot friends.I do not feel that a mylotter would do me any harm, instead they would make my day.
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Hatley, if I were coming your way, I would certainly come see you. No one on MyLot would have my address unless I gave it to him or her, so of course they would then be welcome. I have met up with one MyLotter, we went to a restaurant so we could be with his wife at work. If they are a good enough friend to have my address, they would be good enough friends to phone so I was expecting them and good enough friends to be welcomed in. I have people in who I have not seen in years and it is fun.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi gardengerty I would really love to have you come see me but call ahead so you wont miss me if I am out shopping with \some of the other residents. I really would love to meet y0ou and a host of mylot friends.gets lonely here among almost strangers. but calling ahead is always the kind' thing to do so both of you wont be disappointed.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
8 Aug 09
I am afraid of alot of people these days. We do not really know who these people truly are. There have been many cases of people pretending to be something they are not, but instead they are rapists, murderers and killers, who claim to be friendly until they come face to face with someone.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi stephcjh i know a lot of bad things have happened but I am naive enough to think that most of us mylotters are good decent people, and are not murderers or such.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
7 Aug 09
That is and has always been a dream to meet someone from myLot and definately if someone from my friends list wanted to meet with me I would know I gave them my address. If you're ever coming towards Alberta Canada please let me know ahead of time so we can make a point of meeting. That would be fabulous!!!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
oh would I love to meet you, and I love Alberta Canada was there once on vacation and had so much fun. I would let you know if I ever got a chance to go to canada. it would be so much fun.
@mayka123 (16582)
• India
8 Aug 09
I did welcome this mylotter to my home. I would not feel comfortable welcoming a stranger to my home but here we are friends and unless we open up and meet we will never get a chance to know each other. And if I did not like him/ her then I would think twice of calling them again.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
I think like a lot of you hAve said that a mylotter would be a bit rude to drop in unexpectedly but if one of my very good friends here on mylot come to see me, I wont turn then away as I would be honored to think they cared that much about me.
@Ruby722 (796)
• China
8 Aug 09
Well.I think you just too nerves But keep our eyes on the ball is necessary anyway Lol. If it was me maybe i will do the same thing.But the question is onone asking for me.Haha.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi ruby I still think that if the mylotter phoned you first and you made sure he or she was whohe or she purported to be one should welcome that my lotter with open arms.
• India
8 Aug 09
Finally some new topic to discuss.Thanks.I would say that fear is always there when you don't know who has arrived at your home.I do believe that people also don't like to see salesmen coming to their home either.Nowadays,even if some relative comes to our home most people don't like that .The rituals of welcoming the guest is dying out day by day in this modern era.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 09
hi I think if we could talk to the person who wants to visit us by phone first a few diplomatic questions would reassure that the person is indeed a mylotter and is who you thinkhe or she is.