boys playing with dolls?

United States
October 20, 2009 11:04am CST
i would like to know how you feel about letting your little boy play with your little girl dolls. i personally would not allow my son to play with dolls, but my neighbor allows her son to play with her girl toys, mainly her dolls. i asked her one day why she let him play with dolls and she said that when he gets older he would want to take care of his kids, and that it was a good way for him and his sisters to bond. i personally don't like the reason she gave, but there is little i can do about the situation. so what are your thoughts on this subject?
4 people like this
19 responses
@agv0419 (3029)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
I see nothing wrong to that and it doesn't mean that if your son playing a doll he is going to be girl. You can't change the preferences of your son if he likes to play a doll or not. It is early to tell if your child going to be a straight or not. Try to accept who he is when he show a sign.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Oct 09
i am not saying that i am concerned if my son is going to be a girl. i think alot of people misunderstood my discussion. i was just only asking people how do they feel about boys playing with dolls, that's it. thanks for your reply.
• United States
21 Oct 09
Word! I agree with the accepting part, although I don't feel it necessarily represents a kids future sexuality.
1 person likes this
@Althor (13)
20 Oct 09
Idon't see what is wrong with him playing with dolls, it's something that kids especially should be allowed to do, as they will grow up understanding freedom of opinion and freedom of individuality too. I would let him play with it if that is what he wanted to do, it would help him to grow up as a more understanding being, which is a very good quality in people. And I don't think that people will look down on him for playing with dolls, maybe he just has an active imagination that he is able to express when he plays with them too. Thee shouldn't be anything to worry about, if I had a son, I would let him do whatever made him happy, within reason of course.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Oct 09
thanks for responding. that's how i was raised up, that boys are not allowed to play with dolls. the little boy i am talking about is 5 and when he is outside playing with them other kids in the neighborhood picks on him. i don't think that it is a good idea to have him playing with toys.
@Philbo (579)
• Canada
21 Oct 09
I think this discussion to some degree shows how hyper sensitive some people are about homosexuality. I played with dolls when I was a kid and I've never been remotely gay. Even played with them the same way girls did when I was with the girls. Us guys liked to strip barbie naked and fly her around the living room like some kind of naked, nippless guided missile (she eventually lost all her limbs too). My opinion is that childhood play reflects their development but what they play with doesn't necessarily influence what they are or will become. Playing with dolls won't make a boy gay. Playing with dolls also will not help him become a good father in the future. I got picked on by other children when I started school but not for playing with girl stuff. I got picked on because I was different and didn't have the physical or mental make up to fight back effectively. I matured and that eventually all changed. When it comes to children picking on other children we adults should take the lead and show them a better way. Adult intervention might mean keeping our kids from playing with toys that make them a target. Rather than make rules though I think it is important to play with your children. Normal children will imitate their parents for the most part. Solves a whole lot of issues without a fight or an argument.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
first i would like to say thanks for replying. once again i would like to say that i am not saying that playing with dolls will make a child gay. you won't find that anywhere in this discussion, i don't think that. i do agree with you that the parents of the kids that are picking with other kids should get involved, when i saw what was going on, i stepped in and had a talk with my kids letting them know it's not nice picking on other people and not to do it. i totally agree with you on that. thanks again
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
I loved your response so much I wanted to be friends... Then I saw we already were. This made me happy. :o)
2 people like this
@Philbo (579)
• Canada
21 Oct 09
Shontia the first part of my comment wasn't aimed at you at all. It was just an observation that so many that commented before me made it a part of the discussion.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Actually, your neighbor is right. When little girls play with dolls, they are role playing...pretending to be mommies. Little boys grow up to be dads quite often and so it can be healthy for them to play with dolls. It certainly is not harmful. Why would it be? Little girls play with trucks and no one seems to mind but for some reason when boys play with dolls, then it is an issue with some parents. Either way, it is up to the individual parents what they allow or not allow their children to play with. It is your neighbors choice to allow her son to play with dolls and there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with it and no need for you to feel concern. Her son will be just fine.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
i think everyone is misunderstanding what i meant. i am not saying she is doing something wrong or anything. i just don't like how the other kids pick on him every single day. i am also not saying that i can change that. thanks for replying.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Ya, I did a read thru after I replied here. I think you left out some vital information which is why they are misunderstanding. I know I would have answered differently had I known the poor kid was being picked on. Most people that have a problem with boys playing with dolls actually ARE concerned and worried about their sons being gay so I get why that guy assumed that. Don't get angry but instead just explain it out to those that misunderstand. I've done that too. I've left out little important facts. I kick myself when I do because it usually means repeating myself over and over. it's easy to do. it happens.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
thanks!
@irene3184 (900)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
I think a little boy just get attracted to play dolls but if they grow they will just ignore playing dolls. Because I have a niece, when he is still a little boy he is fond of playing dolls but when he grow he play boys toys already.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
thanks for your response
• United States
21 Oct 09
k, but a niece is a girl, nephew is a boy.
1 person likes this
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
24 Oct 09
Hi Shontia, I am a mother of one son and he is currently 32 months old. I never let my boy play with a doll,I don't think it is an appropriate toy for him to play with as doll is mainly for a girl.And I really don't want my son to be girlie when he grows up later. So most of the toys that I bought for my son are cars,robots,trains,airplanes,puzzles,flascards,story books and some educational vcds(like Barney,Pattycake,Doraemon,Backyardigans). I believe that will be appropriate toys for my son and it has made him grow up to be an active boy,all this toys help to stimulate his skills and brain developments.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Oct 09
thanks for replying, i appreciate your comment. sorry for the late reply
• United States
21 Oct 09
As someone else posted, I don't see that there is a 'situation' at all. The only problem is the issue of the boy being made fun of, but if he enjoys playing with his toys then why should he be punished for their ignorance? The other children should be told to stop, not him. If a child is bullied we should just say 'well, make yourself into someone the bullies will approve of and they will stop'! I think the mothers response was actually very good. Regarding boys playing with 'girls toys', I really think its us adults that put any meaning onto that, to the kids they are just toys. Some of my family made a big fuss recently because my nephew (who is two) decided he liked pink! He also plays with cars (typically 'boy toys') but,regardless of this, people were saying they should discourage him from liking pink! I thought this was completely ridiculous and what it shows is the adults fears and prejudices over gender identity etc which kids aren't even aware of - the poor little guy just liked a color! So for me it is really not an issue, nor do I think it should be.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
hi, thanks for replying. when i started this discussion i just wanted to hear what others thought about boys playing with dolls. the other kids has been picking on him for a while and most of the kids parents know what's going on but aren't saying anything. some people up here seem to think that i am saying that it will make the boy gay, that is not true at all. i don't have a problem with someone being gay or gay people at all. i do want to clear that up. i just asked a question. as i have posted many times before i have stepped in and don't let my kids pick on him, i already talked to them about picking on others. thanks again.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
21 Oct 09
When little girls play with dolls, it is just accepted. When little boys do, people will sometimes find something negative about it. We are just used to seeing the female gender playing with dolls instead of the male gender. Male or female, if your child finds entertainment with a doll, then let them do it! They do make G.I. Joe action figures as well as Barbie so enjoy!
• United States
21 Oct 09
ok, thanks for your response.
@voldrox (7204)
• India
21 Oct 09
Hi Shontia This is a little weird honestly, i mean i haven't known any boys playing with girl kinda dolls, though even if some boy likes to play with them we should not assume things already, i know it would feel weird if some boy would play with dolls but i guess he might have found something special playing that we are not able to see... so i personally think we should not restrict him from having some nice time with dolls but yeah we have to take care and watch if anything is wrong, may be if he grew older he would not play with them anymore?
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
thanks for your reply
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
21 Oct 09
hmm never thought of this we don't have kids yet and we plan to but I'm trying to browse discussion about children and see if I can get any pointer or new things I'm not sure about boys playing girl's dolls, is it normal or is it good for his development? doens't sound like a good way for him to bond with his sister but maybe that's what happen to them
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
thanks. i hope you find some useful information. have a nice day.
@rebaozi (100)
• United States
21 Oct 09
I will let my little boy play with dolls,if he want to play.I don't worry about that.Let me tell you a story about my younger brother.When we were very young,he always dressed my skirt.I often quarreled with him.And our parents never told him not did that.But when he grew up,he didn't wear my skirt again.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
hi, thanks for replying. i am not saying that this little boy will grow up playing with dolls the rest of his life. i was just asking people how do they feel about boys playing with dolls. thanks again.
• United States
21 Oct 09
#1 I think it's important to let children play all types of toys, otherwise, you're almost FORCING them into a role. #2 If you don't want to let boys play with girl toys, dolls should definitely be the exception. It's very good for the imagination, much better than toy cars and transformers (which they normally use to act out the shows/movies they've seen rather than making up their own stories). And your neighbor's slightly right about the caring for his kids. While the way he plays now is not necessarily an inclination of the future, it IS human nature to nurture, especially those smaller than us. To have the urge to nurture at a young age is healthy. Forcing a little boy to stop because you're scared he won't perfectly fit his gender role is probably a bad idea. It could cause some psychological issues. At a minimum, it's encouraging a child to ignore his feelings and that sensitivity isn't acceptable. Which sucks.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 09
point understood. thanks so much for replying. have a nice day
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
20 Oct 09
I really don't think there is anything wrong with it....some little girls like to play with trucks....my granddaughter is in hockey....very few girls are on her team....but she likes to have her nails done before she goes....and she is only four....I don't think it's something that would alter their personalities....
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
hi, thanks for replying, i don't think that anything is wrong with it. i just don't allow my child to do it. i understand where you are coming from and i appreciate your response. thanks again.
@joygracia (1328)
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
Maybe try to give a boy game that could really interest him. Environment could be a factor in the child`s growth so I believe it would be best to expose the child in some boyish environment.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
i understand your point. thanks for replying.
• United States
20 Oct 09
My son has stuffed animals, and quite a few of them. There's nothing wrong with letting him play with them, or even dolls. My sister-in-law works for a well-known day care/preschool chain and they have a unit on the family and "keeping a house." All the children play with dolls because they feel that the boys and girls will be well-rounded, sensitive adults. I don't feel like there should be any barrier with "boys toys" or "girls toys." After all, I don't think I would care that much if I saw my little girls playing with trucks and cars....
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
understandable, thanks for replying.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
20 Oct 09
My son is allowed to play with his older sister's dolls and my daughter had trucks and things like that when she was littler. I don't see why there is a problem with a boy playing with dolls. In a certain sense I think it teaches them to be more empathetic in the long run. Besides that, when my son plays with the dolls, it doesn't last for nearly as long as playing with his trains and cars lasts. He naturally gravitates more towards boy type of toys than girl types of toys. But, I am not going to be the one that makes the ultimate decision for him.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
thanks for replying, and for not suggestion other stuff like some of the other users. your response is what the discussion is all about, i ask other people up here how they feel about boys playing with dolls, i didn't mean any harm by it i just asked a question, and i should have known someone would jump up and ask if i think it will make my child gay? thanks again
@dekada80 (388)
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
uh oh, my son playing with dolls? sounds trouble.. I will definitely not allow him to play any girls toy specially dolls, it only means he's already showing a sign so I will teach him to play other toys instead specially those toys meant for the boys. Anyway he is still a little boy and 'm sure can still be corrected.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 09
i agree, my brothers was never allowed to play with my toys let alone dolls. i thought that maybe she would have had an better reason than the one given, even though i think there is no reason that will make it ok. thanks for responding.
@pastorkayte (2255)
• United States
25 Nov 09
I very much think it really depends on how old the little boy is, if the child is under 4 then all toys whether male or female mean the same to him. He thinks of them solely as something to play with, only the parents add more significance than there should be. Between 5 and 8, parents should move to more male or female specific toys but not make a big deal about it as children will be more curious as to why you took them than why they should not play with them. In the search for answers they will become more attracted to those toys. The best thing to do is to buy the toys according to the childrens preference. Boys will soon gravitate to toys that are more action packed and girls will move to more nurturing toys, in which case it usually starts at about this age. If the child is over 8 years old, take those toys away they dont need to play with them, boys with dolls is just weird at this age. Unless of course he is designing clothes for it, in which case let him be, fashion designers make good money. From a mother of 7 children trust me.
@Angelwriter (1956)
• United States
31 Oct 09
Okay, I'm responding to your question, including your additional clarifications. Yes, if I had a son, I would allow my son to play with dolls if that's what he enjoyed. Being teased would be irrelevant. First, let me say my next sentence is just me giving my own feelings. I'm not assuming anyone else feels this way or saying anyone else said this. Okay? Anyway, to me, not allowing my son to play with dolls because of being teased seems to be punishing my son for the bad behavior of others. If he still wants to play with dolls after being teased, he obviously still enjoys it. (I'm talking about my hypothetical son, not your son or your friend's son) Stopping him would put me in the same line as the nasty teasing brats by implying that it's his behavior that's wrong and needs to be changed, instead of theirs. Actually, I would be worse, because I would be his mother giving that impression, not just kids in the neighborhood. Another thing I might do is talk to the other kids parents, because they're the ones whose behavior should be questioned and shouldn't be allowed to do what they're doing. Now, to make it all clear (I hope), if my son said he didn't want to play with dolls anymore because he didn't like being teased, I wouldn't force him to. I would tell him that he wasn't the one who was wrong and that he shouldn't give up something he likes because of a bunch of brats. But, if it makes him unhappy, he has every right to stop. Because if there's anything you should be able to be happy about and have fun with, it's playing, especially as a kid.