Is It Wrong To Tell Your Children Who Put The Presents Under The Christmas Tree?

United States
October 22, 2009 9:38pm CST
Is it wrong for me to tell my children that the presents under our Christmas tree every year are from me and not Santa Claus? I want my children grow up being thankful for what I have done for them as a parent which to me includes buying their Christmas presents. In turn, I want them to realize that I couldn't have done any of it without the help from God and my family. I'm thankful for God and my family and thankful that I'm able to do it for my children, so I want my childrent to be thankful as well. My parents never told me that Santa Claus bought me presents at Christmas, I always knew it was them. I just feel that my children should have the same upbringing. What are your views on this? Am I wrong for telling my children who REALLY puts the presents under the tree?
6 people like this
32 responses
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
Hi singlemommy, i dont think its wrong to tell your kids who really gave them their gifts. Nowadays, you could not fool the children anymore, they are wiser than we are. But it is also nice to tell the kids about Santa. He is a symbol of Christmas and most kids would be happy to know his story.
2 people like this
24 Oct 09
Hi singlemoomy, While the children are young, I wouldn't tell them it was not Sant that brings presents to them, children are full of magic and wonders and all tool soon they crow up and get wise to it and they will know how hard you work to give them presents, so please don;t tell them just yet, let them be children and let them believe in magic and Peter Pan, don't spoil it for them, they will soon be grown up and they will know. Tamara
• United States
23 Oct 09
This sounds ridiculous, but I am more than serious when I say that I after finding out that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (the most upsetting revelation to me), and the rest of the Holiday Bunch wasn't real, I never trusted my parents fully again. I was told growing up that it was all real. Some presents at Christmas were marked "From: Santa" and some were marked "From: Mommy & Daddy". I realized the hand-writing was the same after awhile, but didn't want to believe my parents were lying. I am very much against holidays in general and the whole Santa thing because I grew up with it. It hurts that my parents (especially since they are Christians) would lie to me as a child and tell me about this Santa guy rather than show me what they've done and teach me more about Jesus and the meaning of Christmas. I have spoken with my mom about this and she says I am taking it overboard...but I think everyone else doesn't put enough thought into it. It's lying to your children and it's wrong, in my opinion. I'm not having kids, but you can bet if I had wanted kids I would never teach them about any of that crap. It isn't wrong to teach your kids to be grateful for what you do for them. In my opinion it's wrong to tell them some guy named Santa breaks into your home and leaves them materialistic gifts just because it's Christmas. Society may say you are taking the fun out of their childhood, yadda yadda, but I can tell you that I wish I hadn't been told any of that growing up. It sends the wrong message from my personal experience...love Santa for bringing you toys and hate your parents for keeping you from going out to sledride. If it feels best to you to tell them it was you, do so. No one else can tell you to shine the light on a stranger rather than yourself. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I feel so sorry for you!!! Your parents didn't lie. They just protected you until you could mature. Santa never left a gift under our Christmas tree, he slipped in after we all went to bed & left gifts on our sofa...one side was for my brother, the other for me. I appreciated the fact that my parents worked so hard to protect me from the harshness of life & gave me the opportunity to learn how to deal with life before having to deal with it on my own. I still believe in Santa. I know he's NOT a real person, but I believe in the magic of the fantasy!!! If ever in doubt, I think of the look in a child's eyes when they first see the magic of Santa.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 09
I totally agree with you Lady Marissa... I wanted to reply to this poster but wasnt sure how to word it right....I like what you said!!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 09
You are hardly wrong....lots of people dont tell their kids santa stories...I think it is really a personal choice of what you want to tell them and not even a question of right and wrong. IMO....I think even if you do tell your kids about santa clause that they will eventually get older and realize it was you all along and they will appreciate it...I did all the santa stuff with my kids...i think it adds fun and excitement and encourages a giving attitude....but that can also be accomplished in other ways and certainly that can be accomplished by using God as an example...after all....that is where the holiday began isnt it? You say your parent never told YOU about santa....so do you feel they were wrong?? Obviously you dont....you grew up just fine and so will your kids as long as they have unconditional LOVE!!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 09
I don't feel my parents did wrong. I always watched the movies about Santa Claus and read the stories, my parents didn't try to keep the STORY of Santa Claus from me, but they told me the truth, that it was fiction. I don't hide the story of Santa Claus from my children, I know it is a big part of Christmas, I even get their pictures taken with Santa Claus every year, but I have never and will never tell them that Santa Claus put presents under their tree because he didn't. I don't lie to my children about anything and I never will. I want them to be honest with me as I am with them.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
23 Oct 09
It won't take that many years before your children realize that you are in fact Santa Claus. I personally won't tell my children that I am really the one who puts the present under the tree. I want them to experience the magic of Christmas just like I did when I am a child. I know that Christmas is about Christ's birth, but for me there has always been something magical about the season and for a small child I think that part of that magic is Santa. I knew for many years that my parents were Santa Claus and I didn't disclose my knowledge of that situation to them because I was afraid that it would stop. However, I'm now 29 years old, and "Santa" still leaves me presents on Christmas morning.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 09
I am 29 also and Santa still leaves presents for my mom under the tree
1 person likes this
@northway (53)
• China
23 Oct 09
i think it is wrong for you to tell your children that the presents you put under the Christmas tree every year are actually from you. Children believe everything because they are Children,their childhood are filled with beautiful imagination,do not broke all of these. However, if your Children still believe that the presents are from GOD but not from you when they are six years old, you'b better tell them the truth.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 09
HUH??? So you are saying it id IMPOTANT to tell your kids that their gifts come from santa sa as to feed their imaginations...but it is NOT ok to tell them their gifts come from God?? As far as I know God is invisible too and therefore it would also feed their imaginations... I think it is fine to tell them whatever you choose... Myself i told my kids santa brought their gifts until they figured it out which didnt take as long as i would have liked....BUT all of my kids also know that i STILL believe in santa clause...no not an actual person who comes down your chimeny etc etc...but in the concept..... Once they started asking questions i simply told them that i believe santa is a way to make the holiday fun and that the concept behind santa is that we should give...give to people we love...give to people less fortunate...give to your enimies... They were not upset..or mad at me for "lying" or disillusioned at all...they kinda figured it out anyway... I believe your kids will trust you as long as you always speak honestly from your heart to them......its that simple...and it is not dishonest to tell your kids santa is comming because santa IS comming...because you are santa and santa lives in the hearts of all of us!!!
1 person likes this
@CRSunrise (2964)
• United States
26 Oct 09
I think there's no harm in telling your kids what you feel to need to tell them. However, when you're young, Christmas is magic. Santa comes along with this magic. Eventually, kids would have to learn that Santa is more magic and spiritness of the holiday, and that you're the one doing the gift-giving, but either way, as long as they know the true purpose of the Christmas season...it doesn't really matter who gives the presents.
@lala501 (1533)
• United States
24 Oct 09
No i don't think that it is wrong to tell the children who puts the presents under the Christmas tree. I have never believed in Santa Claus, and it didn't bother me any. I think if I did I would stay up for hours to see "him". Then when I saw it was only my parets then i would be greatly disapointed. So I am glad that my parents told me the truth from the very beginning.
1 person likes this
@wahmivy (778)
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
I'll be doing the same thing. Santa Claus won't figure in our celebration of Christmas at all, except maybe in decor or storytelling (and it would be clear that it's fictitious). I know Santa Claus adds to the element of magic and wonder, but for us Christmas is about the birth of Christ and I want my child to grow up clear on that.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Of course it will depend on how old your kids are. But I always told mine that Santa Claus really lived and because of what he did we now have this wonderful tradition of giving at Christmas time. So presents came to our house from Santa and so for many years avoided the whole question but at abut 6 years that didn't work anymore, some other kids had ratted out that story so then we just told who gave what to whom. It does spoil the magic of the unknown when this happens. But mainly I feel Christmas is to celebrate Christ's birthday.
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Those are your children and I believe you should be able to tell them that your the one giving them their presents for Christmas. I don't see why they should be told that a strange elf is giving them any thing. My belief is that if you tell them Santa is giving presents and they learn it is a lie why should they believe you in other things.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
23 Oct 09
tHEY WILL FIND OUT WHO SANTA IS AS SOON AS THEY START TO SCHOOL OR MINE DID. I don't know if it's a good thing to pretend there is a santa but it sure has been going on for a long time. I don't guess i would take that fun away from my children if i were you.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
23 Oct 09
Personally, I feel there is nothing wrong telling the children who put the presents under the christmas tree. Afterall, they will also get to know in future. Though your parents did not tell you but you still know they are the ones who bought you presents, isn't it? Nothing wrong, friend.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
23 Oct 09
to me its what you belive, but the down fall is if they think that santa does bring the present and they are young it might hurt thier feelings or the kids at school who they tell them might cause some kind of trouble. but to me if they think santa comes from a young age and they are say under 12 and find out. then i dont know. i know people who kids do think that there is santa and all sudden they tell them there isnt a santa and they cried to the grandparnets. this is a tough one,
1 person likes this
@hvedra (1623)
23 Oct 09
I think you are right to tell them that you put the presents there. More than that I think you should tell them why and share your feelings about it. Being honest will help them appreciate it more.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Oct 09
No it not bad to tell your children the truth behind the Christmas presents
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
23 Oct 09
I found out that there is no Santa when I was six because a teacher told me and I don’t think it was her right to do something like that. She told us not to tell our parents otherwise we would no longer get any presents. I think it was very mean spirited of her to do that especially as my parents knew nothing about what she told us. My daughter is almost eight and she is still into the Santa thing although I can tell she has her suspicions sometimes! I am not going to tell her because I love the whole Santa fantasy it’s a lovely concept and it’s a magical time in children’s lives that you will never get back. Just like my daughter they will work it out for themselves soon enough and, in my opinion there is plenty of time for them to appreciate your hard work and God’s blessings. I wouldn’t tell them. I would let the magic go on for as long as possible…
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
23 Oct 09
My parents never told me that Santa Claus bought me presents at Christmas, I always knew it was them Your children will just know too. I think you are wrong to tell them before they are ready. When my brother asked if Santa was real because the kids at school were already saying that he was fake, my Mom responded Santa is real in your heart & he will come to see you as long as you believe. At 9, my brother announced that Santa wasn't real so Santa stopped visiting him. Well, I wasn't stupid, I NEVER said those words (even though I knew) & Santa visited me until I was married & playing Santa for my stepdaughter. I was 25 years old before he stopped & I was disappointed that he hadn't visited. Children have to face too much reality in their life. I don't see any need in rushing to burst the Santa myth!!! Teaching them to be thankful for God & your family is a totally different lesson which has NOTHING to do with Santa. That is a completely different learning experience!!! Jesus was ALWAYS a huge part of my Christmas experience, Santa was a small part. I was raised to love Jesus & appreciate Santa. When I put it all together, the appreciation I had for Santa became appreciation for my parents (who were Santa)!!! I must say though, when I read your discussion, I didn't get the feeling you want your children to be thankful to God & your family, I heard I want my children to know what I'm sacrificing for them. That is NOT a reason to burst their fantasy. Let them enjoy their childhood for as long as it lasts. Each child will become ready at a different time & in a different way. Unlike some here, I didn't feel I had been lied to. It made me appreciate ALL the loving things my parents had done for me in my lifetime. They loved me enough to protect me from life!!!
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
Same here! I think it's not wrong to tell them that the presents came from you. When I was also a child I didn't even thought that Santa really gives and left presents under a Christmas tree, it was always my mom and thanked her everytime.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
23 Oct 09
Well I have mixed feeling about this. When I found out that there really wasn't a Santa Claus I was upset with my parents because they lied to me. However I ended up keeping it from my kids but they weren't upset about it. I believe if you don't tell them one day when they find out that its been you all this time they will realize what you have done for them all these years. They will then appreciate it and be in shock like my girls. They couldn't believe and always wondered how I could afford to buy so much for them. I think for a child to believe in a fantasy like Santa Claus is a wonderful thing that they look forward to. I wouldn't tell them they will grow up and be thankful for what you have done for them.
1 person likes this