should mothers stay at home and not work?

October 28, 2009 5:59am CST
before when i was still in college i decided to be a working mom but based on my observations with my co nurses i realized that when a woman becomes a mother she should spend most of her time taking care of the kids.
7 people like this
51 responses
@taraelocin (1140)
3 Nov 09
I think that's a decision everyone has to take themselves. A friend of mine gets lonely at home just with the baby. So she went back to work after 6 months part-time. Some say that it is actually good for the little ones to learn "social skills" from a very young age. Another friend can't afford staying at home - having children is expensive. Some people also say they can't afford going to work as nursery is so expensive. So it really depends on the personal situation and what you want to do in life.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
4 Nov 09
If you can make a LOT of money easily with your job and do not have to commute OR work 40+ hours a week, it can be worth it to work and pay for daycare, but in my opinion what you lose out on - things that kids do - may never happen again. For instance, a parent who is always at work may miss their baby's first steps, first word, class parties and celebrations, etc. Somebody else, whether it is the other parent, a neighbor, a grandparent, a babysitter, an older sibling - WILL get to experience it but it isn't the same, even if they video it for you. There are always solutions to people who are lonely at home, there are community activities, support groups, hobbies, etc. I hear a lot of people complain that without work and/or a job, they lose that outlet for socialization and meeting people but I have found lots of ways where you can do that without bringing a job into it. There are also plenty of good socialization experiences for babies and toddlers, mommy and me classes, and other parents you can meet anyplace you might go with your your baby and toddler. Just tossing out ideas since some people don't seem to be creative, they just complain they are bored lol.
@chevill (316)
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
if i will choose, i will stay with my kidz like what im doing right now, im just a plain house wife with the kids2 home but i think we should have careers too so that we will not get old at home.
@dlr297 (5418)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I am 53 years old and have always been as you put it just a plain house wife with 8 kids, and i have not grown old at home. and i have never been plain..... I have always believed that when a woman decides to have children that she should be prepared to stay at home and care for them. and if she wants a career then she should not have children. because if you try to do two jobs at once they will both suffer. and as you know that with two kids it is a full time job caring for them.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
6 Feb 10
It totally depends on the woman...what she would want to do...what she's good at doing..and her conditions in the marriage. There are so many different permutations and combinations...that I can't say which is the right one. Before I was married, I wanted to be a housewife..sit at home ..take care of cooking and cleaning...and the kids when I had them. But after marriage, I feel that I need to get out...not due to financial constraints...but some days at home are crazy and I need to get out and do something else with my life. Sometimes I feel I am better at what I do outside the home instead of inside the home...but it could also be because I'm not getting enough appreciation for what I do inside the home.
10 Nov 09
I think its better to be with them at home , But when my son gets to go to school I plan on studying too so I caould have something possiteve to do with my life. But still be able to take care of him when he gets out of school.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
8 Nov 09
I am not sure, my dream is to be a stay at home mom but I don't know that I will be able to do that. I hope to be an online graphics artist and have my own business of sorts to help pay for bills, but if I can not do that then most likely I will be working as an in home aid, and thus have my mother in law take care of the children during the day while I work. My husband's job while somewhat secure isn't the best, and isn't his favorite so we hope that we can save up enough money to go to college, and if he gets a hire paying job I may consider working online only and staying home with our future children.
• United States
5 Nov 09
I have seen parents who stay home who don't do much caring for the kids. I have seen parents who work, usually by NECESSITY, who also make the most of their time with their children--actively involved in their lives, at their games, helping with homework, using a vacation day to go on the field trip. I don't think work should define a mother, if you NEED to work, you NEED to work. If you're fortunate enough to stay home, even for a little while, ENJOY IT. :) BE INVOLVED with them as much as you can either way.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
4 Nov 09
When my girls were very young, I worked an opposite shift from my husband & we shared in their care. After we divorced I still had to work and most of the time that I was working, he was the one to care for them. If not him then my mother did. In todays economy it is not always possible to stay home. Part of caring for your children is to provide for them and in order to do that, I had to work. It's really a choice based on the family situation. If a woman is able to stay home with the kids, that is great but it isn't always possible.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
4 Nov 09
It really depends on the mom. My personal opinion is that it is BEST when people are able to do what they really want, and that their financial situation cooperates. In other words, if you prefer to be home and be the primary caretaker of your children, you should, but if you prefer to work and it can be arranged without basically having someone else raise your children, that's fine too. One thing I very much disagree with are people who have children and then continue their lives as if they didn't have any, working full time, perhaps employing a nanny or something, and they don't NEED to for financial reasons. I don't think that's quite fair to the kids, because having kids is supposed to change things... I am a full time mom who volunteers and does other things right now. I have worked part time in the past and probably will again in the future, but not likely full time. Moms who work (in addition) actually have TWO jobs, and moms who work full time and raise kids (whether they are married or not) have two FULL TIME jobs. People also ought to take into account the number of moms who are also still going to school or going BACK to school, either to finish a degree, start a degree, or as continuing education for their job. That takes time away from both your job and your family.
@maximax8 (28558)
• United Kingdom
1 Nov 09
I think that some ladies get very good qualifications and then have a family. They can put their children in day care and go to work. However if a lady can afford to do so it is great if she can take a few years off work to look after her children. My sister hasn't worked since for first child was born and she won't work again until her youngest reaches 4 years old. I am a primary school teacher and ladies that have young children prefer to teach part time.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 09
Hello cutepink_13, Personally, I don't think a mother should just stay at home and take care of her children. It depends on the economic situation of the family. If a husband can afford everything, there is no problem for a mother to stay at home and look after the family. I do believe we women are meant to do a lot of things in life instead of taking care of the children only. That's only my opinion and maybe others will think differently about this topic...
@weasel81 (2501)
• Australia
30 Oct 09
i've always worked, but have been lucky i could take my son with me to work or could get my mum or the inlaws to look after him. my daily activities were worked round my son, he's got learning problems. so i used to have 4 days a week out in town with him, for various reasons, from day care, pre school and appointments. things are easier now he's at school, if i pick him up from school we start work a little bit later. it's not always easy to stay at home now, with the rising cost of living. you need both parents working some how. unless one is earning top dollar.
@kkanaka (887)
• Singapore
30 Oct 09
Hi cutepink, I am a working mother, I have two kids, younger one is 4, I tried to be at home after he was born, but it was really very boring and I like my days busy... the kids were getting naughty day by day and they didnt learn much.... Now I go to work and my kids are in the day care, they learn new things and I am happy with my job.... sometimes my son will throw tantrums saying he dont want to go to school..... at that time I really regret that I am working..... but still I would never want to give up but there is a small conscience in the corner of my heart still pricking me...... though I take maximum effort not to neglect them.... so if you have a balance in both your professional and personal life I think you can do whatever you want..... and be happy and make others also happy....
@uiskana (138)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 09
It depend. If the family didnt have money to support family, the mothers should take job to support their husband. But if they have enough money, i think mothers should spend more time with their children.
@RawBill1 (8542)
• Gold Coast, Australia
29 Oct 09
I believe that it is important for children to have their mothers with them in their formative years. I think that mothers should stay at home with their children until they are at least 5 years old and at school. The kids at this age start to mingle with other kids their age age stop needing their mother for a lot of things. My wife stayed home with our kids while I worked and now we both work together at home, so she has never gone back to being at a job. Our kids are 10 and 8 now and I believe that they benefit greatly from having us both spending loads of time with them! I do understand though that not all mothers are fortunate enough to be able to do this.
@happy6162 (3011)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I think while the kids are young you can stay at home. When they start school you need to get out of the house and working would be a good thing to do. You will be helping out by bringing home an income to help with all the activities the kids will be joining.
• United States
29 Oct 09
I think it depends on each individual. I stay home with my son but I clean a few houses a month to make a little extra money. But on the days that I go clean those houses I get my grandmother or a family friend to keep my son. I think some mom's stay home with their kids because daycare cost so much and it's just as cheap to stay at home with them and try to stick to a budget. But some mom's want to work, some mom's want to stay home, and some mom's have no choice but to work because they can't afford to stay home. So I think it's just up to each individual what they decide to do.
• Chile
29 Oct 09
it`s a very difficult choice to make... i`m a single mom and that`s the reason i stay at home, i have no parent or husband to take care of my baby, and i recive a pension from the goverment because my dad used to work in the army and i have the right to recive it... so i really do not need the money, but what if i didn`t??? i`d have to work for sure. It`s very different to say u need to work, than i want to work... when money it`s not enought then u have to work to get it, but if u have the chance to stay at home, then do it... there is nothing more important to me than keep on eye on my baby and watch her grow.
• United States
29 Oct 09
In a perfect world, all mothers would be able to stay home and take care of chidren and the house, but we don't live in a perfect world. In this economy, you have to have a two-income household, especially if kids are involved. I've been unemployed for more than 14 months, and we're having trouble keeping up. We only have one child. What if you have more than one? Not all women are cut out to stay at home and take care of houses and kids either. I hate staying home all day. Some women might enjoy it, but I don't. I spend time on the computer, but you can only clean your house so many times.
@JAG2009 (268)
• India
29 Oct 09
I guess it's one of those questions that isn't easy to answer. I used to have a very strong opinion on this issue until some of my close friends became mothers and found themselves faced with this question. For a lot of them, it wasn't easy to choose either option. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Who can decide what's right and what's wrong for someone else? I want to believe that the mother who decided to have the baby should be trusted to take a decision that is right for her (and her child).
@Rizt1982 (45)
• Indonesia
29 Oct 09
for me it better mother stay at home and not working, a mother should baby sit they son, keep up clean the house and from that a mother can give attention for her family. but i guess that would be better if the condition her husband can handle the finance by him self..