I am really disappointed by this (school policy) - your thoughts?
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
November 2, 2009 11:29am CST
Recently my daughter's school decided to start this new policy, not allowing parents on the playground before school, and basically telling us that we have to exit the grounds by 7:20 unless we are volunteering, etc. I have been assured various times by various people that it won't really affect me, I do always sign in and get a sticker and I generally tutor twice a week as well as help with centers in the afternoons.
However, this morning they were really acting like they were ON US to leave, and that rankles my nerves. Academically I KNOW there is nothing fishy going on at the school, but this push to make parents leave or make us feel unwanted or like we aren't allowed on campus at certain times MAKES ME FEEL as if something fishy is going on.
I'm not sure whether I'm more sad or more angry, it's a combination of both at this point. I had told my friend this morning that I had just started to get used to the idea and have it not bother me as much but the attitude from the proctors and teachers this morning actually offended me. Yes they are a great school, yes my daughter seems to be having a great time at school. However, I don't like my option to be there whenever I want to to be taken away. I think parents deserve to have the right to check in whenever we want - that gives us a way to check up on things and make sure nothing odd is occurring. When you can only be there certain times, it is easier for a school or institution or whatever to 'clean up its act' so what people see is only what they want you to see. I am not really ALL into conspiracy theories or anything, but I can't help from thinking in this direction.
This is almost bad enough that if there were anything else I really didn't like about the school, I'd want to go 'shopping' for another one that did not have a policy like this. The part that bothers me most is that this policy came about BECAUSE of a SMALL MINORITY GROUP of parents who were abusing the privelage of being on the grounds. Now THAT is not MY fault! I am not THEM! I hate feeling like I am getting punished for the behavior of others. This is not fair, it is not right, and I feel that I should not be bound by restrictions when *I* didn't break any rules. I am SO frustrated.
4 people like this
11 responses
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Nov 09
I think I'm just having a bummer of a day anyway, related to how I feel physically, not just this particular issue. I just feel I need to make a point that I am not going to allow people to ruin things or punish people who did nothing wrong. That is really how it's coming across - THEY did something wrong so we are going to put a policy into effect that restricts ME as well. That honestly is like punishing ME for nothing. I don't get how they don't see that for what it is. If they were me, I'm sure they would react the same way I am right now.
@mommyjewel (39)
• United States
3 Nov 09
I agree that parents should have rights in visiting their children if the school has a policy in place for visitors that is great. A lot of school's have sign in policies for the parents so that they know who is in the building and when. If the parent's are actively volunteering at the time that they are visiting their children then they should not be asked to leave because they are doing their volunteer time. If the parent's are not volunteering at the time then they should follow the visitor code of the school and that depends on the school.
I have been to different schools and they each have their own policy regarding parents being on the school grounds. One school only allows parents to assist their kindergarten aged child the first week to their classes after that the child must walk to their class without the parent. There are teachers stationed around the school grounds to help these children get to class if they need help.
As parents we can only do so much for our children and at a certain point we need to let them do activities and such on their own. What activities depends on the age and the development of the child. AS parents we want to be there for our children 24/7 and to always protect them and this is not possible. We have to let the children grow and develop on their own and this is what the school is helping the children to do.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Nov 09
They claim this is a security issue, but that is why I believe if they make you do certain things in order to be allowed on campus and you do, then you should not be considered 'a security threat' or not trusted. Nine times out of ten, someone who is not trustworthy is not going to be willing to do everything they need to do in order to BE TRUSTED. Why take that away from people who ARE WILLING?
In general too, I don't think that a parent of a child at school is likely to be a kidnapper, at least not one who is actually INTERESTED IN HELPING to the point that they do all the things you have to do in order to be allowed to be in the classroom. I do agree that people who are not parents probably should not get priority. I just expect some benefits for my trouble - what with all of the people complaining about the number of parents who aren't even interested in their children much less their education. It doesn't make sense to penalize a parent who actually IS interested and wants to be involved and make things better. I believe in punishing the people who do something wrong, not inadvertently punishing EVERYBODY. The people who get hurt from things like this are not the people who were causing trouble to begin with, most of them could care less. they are punishing the people who have never caused trouble, would never cause trouble, and now we don't even get the chance to do some good.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Ok, here are some examples of things that were brought up. There were some parents on the big playground with the 1st - 6th graders in the mornings who were yelling at other kids, getting involved in altercations between kids, etc. Do I think that's okay - no I don't. I don't think that warrants telling ALL parents that we cannot be on the playgroun. Number two - breakfast. There were some parents who come and eat breakfast with their kids. These parents were making their kids late for class because they were not finishing up and making sure they were getting out to the playground to line up at 7:25. It was 7:35 (class starts for them at 7:30) and they were still sitting there eating. Do I think that's okay - again, no I don't. There was one parent of a 5th grader whom the principal said came every day and had breakfast and lunch with their kid and they were FEEDING their kid. That's a little off the wall, a 5th grader is what... 10? 11? I agree that in THOSE cases, that behavior IS wrong.
HOWEVER! The moms I know well from my daughters class do not behave this way. *I* do not behave this way. I am angry because they are painting ALL PARENTS with the same brush, stating this is for safety when it is essentially punishing us ALL because of THEM. I think if you mind your own business, there is nothing wrong with being on the playground with your child in the morning. It's MY kid, I don't see why I can't be. As far as the breakfast thing, I do not feel that a parent should cause their child to be late to class. If they are doing that, they DO need to leave. As far as the incident with the 5th grader - that to me is a one person incident. Doesn't it make more sense to deal with individual issues as they come up, not treat everybody as if they were GUILTY until proven INNOCENT?
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Nov 09
my daughter's school does the same thing. they won't let us work walk my daughter her class. which to me can be a bit much. i really don't get why they do the whole shut the parents out thing, then want us to donoate, and volunter and the like. my child is in that building and to tell me i can't have access to it or my child really bugs the heck out of me
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
2 Nov 09
Have you said anything about this to them? What is the reasoning they give? I think I really need to find out maybe from the school district itself about this. I do not think they have the legal right to keep a parent off school grounds but I'm not sure. If they don't, then I will make sure all the parents know they have a right to be there, and we'll all start walking our kids to class again, even if they try to say there is a policy against it.
I am most irritated about next year because this year at least, kindergarten is separate. Next year my daughter will be a little tiny 1st grader in a sea of something like 500 kids on up to 6th grade. 6th graders are HUGE. Many of them are bigger than ME. They don't pay attention to the fact that they are going to be jammed in like sardines with six year olds.
I am going to be talking to the family resource lady about this tomorrow. This is driving me nuts.
@xfahctor (14118)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
2 Nov 09
As far as I am concerned, I have every right to be there when ever I see fit. Don't let them push you around, YOU are the parent and the ultimate authority for your children and the school works for YOU. You not only eserve this right, you ALREADY HAVE IT. Don't let them tell you other wise, they have no authority to tell you that you can't be there any time you wish, they absolutely cannot do this.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I'm planning to talk to the family resource lady tomorrow. I really feel strongly about this and it really bothers me. In essence they are acting like I would be a potential danger and I'm my daughter's MOTHER. Sorry but I am her first authority figure and her first line of defense. I like her teacher and I do like the staff but if it came down to them or me, I am BETTER at protecting my daughter and things need to go through me. In my opinion they are going overboard with this safety thing. I have no problem with another background checked regular signed in volunteer being on the playground or classroom with my daughter, especially if they are another parent I know. I don't honestly feel ANY other parent would actually have a problem with this. I also agree that the school should reserve the right to tell someone who is INTERFERING with learning or purposely causing problems with the kids that they have to leave, but not just blanket tell EVERYBODY we have to leave because of the bad behavior of a FEW.
I feel that if they expect everybody who is regularly on campus to be background checked, ASK and EXPECT that. I have no problem with that. If they expect everybody on campus to be signed in and wear a badge, that's fine too, I do that already. I just don't think they should act like we are all THREATS - these are our kids who go to this school! Obviously they should not allow people who are NOT parents and have no business being on school grounds to be on school grounds, but again that's something to discuss with anybody who is caught doing that, not with ME because i AM a parent and I feel I belong there.
@doormouse (4599)
•
2 Nov 09
i think that as long as the teachers are in the playground with the kids to keep an eye on them then it's ok,what would really annoy me is if you were told to leave and the teachers were in the staff room drinking tea and not keeping a check on the kids,if you're really upset about this,maybe you could offer your services as a playground assistant,that way you would be able to stay with your child
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
3 Nov 09
I'm going to voice my concerns again tomorrow. I am mostly upset about the way they are more or less punishing GOOD PARENTS for the BAD BEHAVIOR of a few. I would NEVER cause my daughter to be late for class or yell at kids on the playground - although if they were getting into it with each other, they'd need to be separated and have a time out.
I could apply to be a proctor if there was an opening but I think I need to take first aid and cpr first. I am currently taking a class so I can get certification to be a paraprofessional but again it comes down to what positions are open at my daughter's school and exactly what they are. I can't work the whole day, 2-3 hours would be perfect but I probably won't be able to do anything unless something opens up at her school. There are other schools in the district but they all start at different times. I need to be available to pick up my daughter every day before 11 - and before 10 on Wed.
@bobmnu (8157)
• United States
2 Nov 09
This is why I favor school choice by parents and the rights of the shcool to choose who is admitted to the school. In other words the parents sit down with the school and draw up an educational plan (contract) for each child. What the parents expect from the school and what the school expects from the parents and student.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
2 Nov 09
In all other ways this is a great school, so that is why I'm so bummed out. IF this had not come up, I would have nothing but good things to say about this school. I had finally relaxed somewhat and wasn't worried at all about my daughter being there because I expected to be able to be there when I wanted. In my opinion, if they want parent help and support, they had better not alienate the parents who are interested because they could quickly go from people who want to help to people who are afraid to even get involved lest we get our hands smacked for being interested!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Nov 09
This is about parents being on the playground before school? I really don't see what the problem in that could possibly be. The more adults there...the better I would think. I kind of understand it when it is time for them to go in and begin the day because some kids get distracted when their parents are there. I think if certain parents are abusing the rules that the school should take action with those particular parents. I think you and other parents that feel the same should address this issue first with the principal and if you get nowhere then go further up to the school board, superintendent etc. I have always felt comfortable dropping by the school at any given time if I needed to. When my girls were younger, I used to walk them to school and hang out until school began and it was never a problem.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Nov 09
The more you tell me the angrier I feel for you. I think you really need to challenge this new rule. It is bizzare and unfair and insulting. Ok one thing stands out to me here. They do background checks on the parents. That's all good but say one comes back that has a questionable background....so questionable that they are not comfortable allowing that parent on the school grounds unsupervised, now wouldn't you think that the welfare of that parents' children should be questioned as well? I don't understand any of this at all. My daughter is in highschool and because of all that goes on these days, it is a very secure building and lots of rules. Still, I drop in randomly and there is always always someone there to open the door for me and direct me to where my daughter is at if I need to drop something off to her or anything at all. It's a pretty big school but they remember my face and my name and have no problem allowing me or any other parent in. In fact they welcome parent involvement as they should. I'm considerate....I don't interfere or interrupt a class unannounced. If it is a book or something she needs, I just leave it at the office. Sometimes I am bringing her lunch & I just meet her in the cafeteria. My point is that I have never dropped by the school and felt unwelcome. You shouldn't either.
@wonttakelong (3555)
• United States
3 Nov 09
that would irritate me so bad
I cant fathom the thought of NOT being able to check on my kids
no one is going to tell me that I am not welcome in my kids' schools
I am their mother and I will check on them when ever and where ever I feel I need to
I dont blame you for being mad
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Nov 09
I'll still be there when I can. If this doesn't get solved and gets to the point where there is no room to resolve anything, then I guess I either go look for another school or forget about school entirely. It's not like my daughter is behind, she is ahead, she could probably do quite fine learning school standards without a school. If I don't get a say in her education and get to help with it, then she doesn't need to get it from a place like that.
@lindiebiz (1006)
• Canada
3 Nov 09
In some situations, you dont blame the school, it is normal with humans that if you give them an inch, they take a mile. In my kids school, when you drop the kids, you are not allowed to hang around longer than necessary in order for children to make an easy transition to the school environment as for some of them, this is thier first time away from home. I would advise you to talk to your daughter, let her tell you what happens in school. Also try to find out the reputation of the school, if anyone has known anything fishy going on in the school
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Nov 09
Well, I do blame the school when it seems like they are overreacting to an issue caused by a few people by holding everybody responsible for the poor behavior of a few. That is like punishing all four of your kids because ONE of them stole some cookies or something. Um, I don't think so. As the parent, I will punish the ONE who stole the cookies, that's it. There would be no reason to say anything to the other kids who were NOT GUILTY and NOT INVOLVED. ONLY the guilty party would get in trouble, lose a privelage, or be made to feel like they did wrong.
@mtsarraga (56)
• Philippines
3 Nov 09
My old high school used to ask everyone to leave by 7:30. They told us it was a safety precaution because some guardians act inappropriately while the kids are in class. I thought they should have been reprimanded individually instead of kicking everyone else out with them.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
4 Nov 09
I believe they should individually reprimand people too. I don't see ANY other fair way of doing it. When you punish EVERYBODY for ONE PERSON'S mistake or wrongdoing, you just cause people to resent and hate each other, and there is enough of that going on as it is! I can tell you that I certainly am not happy with whichever parents caused this to happen, and IF I find out who they are, I will probably confront them directly since *I* am having to PAY FOR THEIR ROTTEN BEHAVIOR!
