How did you deal with unfriendly neighbors?

@laydee (12818)
Philippines
November 10, 2009 7:32am CST
We have a neighbor who seems really 'angry' with anyone else. He has never been 'close' with other neighbors as well, and I have heard of people filing lawsuits against him because of trespassing and failure to cooperate. You see, our area is within the city but seems like a rural place, we have large lots and most of the neighbors even has a mango tree. Feuds come when these trees reach another property, etc. Anyhow, as for him being unfriendly, I have always avoided really dealing with him but have decided that nothing bad would ever come from a smile. So every time I pass his house and he's doing some 'chores', I'd say little gestures like 'good morning' or some greeting. After several years of doing so, he would return the smile and would even start saying 'good morning' first. It's indeed a good step but with slow pacing in 'friendship', but I don't mind, at least we're just civil enough to acknowledge we are neighbors. How about you? Have you dealt with unfriendly neighbors? How do you deal with them?
3 people like this
27 responses
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
Make the opposite of all the unfriendly gestures he have. If he is not smiling, then smile at him more often, if he is rude then talk the sweetest thing possible to him. It seems that you already develop a small friendship thing by the way you greet him every time you pass by his house. Maybe its time to move closer to him, meaning the next time you would pass-by his house, instead to just simply greeting him "good morning", why not stop and spend a little talk. Maybe for about a minute or two. Then as days pas, you spend more time talking to him. Then maybe, by that time he will accept your friendship.
2 people like this
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
good thing that guy didn't get pissed when she was smiling at him. maybe he needed a bit of attention or a bit nice sweet thing here and there so that he won't be so pissed anymore. it takes time but i know she'll get through the guy and probably break the barriers of being strangers
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
Hmm.. The 'good mornings' were gestures, I wasn't sure if he'd return the conversation because usually he does something that's why he's outside, at the same time I'm usually going to work and I'd feel it'll be rude if I went there to talk to him and when he opens up I'd have to say I need to go, don't you think?
@rosepedal64 (4192)
• United States
10 Nov 09
Hi laydee I have always ended my discussions and responses with keep smiling. You have proven that it does work after some time of doing it. Im glad that your neighbor is able to see that you are not out to hurt him and can return a good jesture back to you. Good deal my friend. Right now where I have moved I only have the one neighbor across the road. They are an older couple. Whenever Im leaving and he is outside I will wave and he always return the wave. I have had neighbors in the past that was rude and I did as you have and they had come around too. Have a great day and keep smiling.
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
Yeah, it's sad that there are rude neighbors though. I guess that's how things are.
• United States
11 Nov 09
I wish we could control how our neighbors react to us. But that would be the perfect place to live and I know that would never happen in this world. I guess we all can dream and wish for better things.
@Godmother (476)
• Indonesia
11 Nov 09
I had experienced two types of bad neighbors. once I had an "unfriendly" neighbor but never did anything aggressive or anything to bother us if we did not annoy him first, so I avoided them and do give a smile or a wave when passing by. The second time, was after we bought a small house (when the baby arrived, and our next door neighbor was just so bad, he and his son would not only trespass to lurk in the window, but also take things without asking, throw stones at my dog, pushed my son into the gutter and finally they stole our ladder and water hose when we left them outside, once, during aour trip on a holiday. Well, the others were constantly fighting him, but he doesn't give a care. So when I felt that the house was becoming too small, I decided not to renovate it but to move to a better location. And I did some thorough asking around and investigating the area at night, before deciding to buy it.
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
It's good you were able to get out of there. I would definitely have the worst time there if I were in that house. It's good that you checked the location first before buying the house. Home should be somewhere you'd feel you belong in, and not having neighbors who would make you feel otherwise.
@cupkitties (6575)
• United States
11 Nov 09
Unfriendly neighbors get ignored. There is one that lives up the street that deliberately holds up the bus driver with conversation when my girls are waiting for her. I notice that when the weather is very bad he makes his conversations much longer. I think he does this intentionally and I don't know what his problem is. Hes either a racist and thinks its funny for little white girls to stand in the cold or he hates females. Good thing we've got new jackets and umbrella I'd like to sock him in the nose.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
Well, seeing that you're unaffected would make his stomach crunch. So, don't let him know you're affected. Make jokes so as your girls would be laughing and it'll seem that you're having a great time while waiting. That'll turn his day sour.
@solared (1210)
• United States
11 Nov 09
Build a high fence or a grow some high shrubery, just ignore them, can't please everyone.
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
Hehehee.. you're a tough neighbor.
• United States
10 Nov 09
Hi, Laydee! There was a mean-spirited, foul-mouthed old woman living down the block. Eventually, all the neighbors got together and offered to buy the house if she would just move!
1 person likes this
@laydee (12818)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
Did she move? hahahahahaha
@fifileigh (3622)
• United States
11 Nov 09
i just ignore them. i am too busy with my own life to care about other people's problems.
1 person likes this
@patmc8 (10)
11 Nov 09
its great that your neighbor's finally opening up. It's good that I havent had a bad neighbor ever since but I must say there was this instance when it got really irritating because the occupants residing at the top of our condo unit became so gross and untidy with their belongings. Almost every week, I would see in our veranda some trash from them. What I did is, I just called our lobby guard and reported the case. I coursed it through the condo management because they are in the position to act on this case.
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6776)
• United States
11 Nov 09
I had this neighbor who was a real A$$hole. He worked for the Sheriff's department, and he thought that made him a god. However, I threatened to kill him one night, and after that, he was the nicest guy you would ever want to meet LOL
1 person likes this
@sucahyo (103)
• Indonesia
11 Nov 09
Smile is good, share something we have to all the neighboor is good too. It won't change your neighboor immediately, but it will in time. If they get too annoying, a friendly complain should make them understand eventually.
1 person likes this
@EdTv00 (298)
• United States
10 Nov 09
The only way to deal with someone who is hostile is to ignore them. These kind of people thrive on attention, they love it when the can get under your skin. Ignore the person unless it becomes physical, only then I would suggest to get the police involved.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Nov 09
Nothing bad would come from a smile,yeah,a smile go a long way.Be friendship,he will friendly in return.If there is nothing we can do to meliorate our relationship,just let the neighbors alone,have a nice day,friend.
1 person likes this
@kush20006 (515)
• India
10 Nov 09
one should only get bad in one's mind when any other person does bad to you even if he is not friendly to you if i would do good to him he will do the same prolonged goodness never fails but it sometimes harms own wishes so one should never back down in taking serious measures against the person who hurt you
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Nov 09
I usually try to avoid unfriendly people, but agree that it is a good gesture to be civil. That's great that you begin initiating a friendship with him. Most people would just ignore him or be rude. More people should act as you did.
@aerous (13482)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
If I have that kind of neighbor. I think it is not bad being that people in the community. But to deal with it. Am just always show good manner and courteous with them so that someday they will be my friend...have a nice day!
• India
11 Nov 09
yeah its very difficult to handle that type odf persons who are very rude in nature on handling this type of person we must give them a smile and then try to find what they want
• India
11 Nov 09
if i have this type of neighbours.. i just simply invite them and offer a tea. and then discuss the problems which has arised due to his angry in calm manner. and also explain the health problem which can occur in near future due to his agressive angry behaviour. thats all.
• India
11 Nov 09
well i too wud have done the same...bcos 1st we have to become good.
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
11 Nov 09
In my case, we are the ones tagged as unfriendly by my neighbors. When they moved in, we were gracious and even chatted with them. But all these changed when they started encroaching our driveway by bringing in their jeepneys. Now, we seldom speak or even acknowledge them because they are really obnoxious. What's worse, we are being ganged upon by other neighbors who seem to relish the idea that we are being irritated by the noise of the jeeps, plus the pollution from these smoke belchers. Your discussion has come at a very timely manner because I have just suggested to my mother that we spend the Christmas holiday away from home. I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb come Christmas where they are all drinking and merry making in the streets while we are closed in inside the house.
@alkivt (34)
• Cyprus
11 Nov 09
I was.. thinking like you before, but what if this person (and it is a she in my case) does something to you that is totally unjustified. I do not mean something really bad, but little things that still affect your daily life. Sha hates me having a dog. My dog is a golden retriever. It never bothers anyone, does not bark or litter near any house int he area. When I take him for a walk I understand by the way she stares that she hates it. I do not know why. I did not mind for this but lately I hae been hearing thigs from other neighbours. She is trying to convince everyone that the dog is bad and to be careful of the dog. She is saying things to everyone, complains about everything, telling people various lies and she is in fact very annoying. So even though I did not want to I confronted her one day and tried to ask her why she is doing what she is doing. Instead of talking with me she started shouting about irrelevant things so loud wanting everyone to here that something is going on. It was bad. I responded very anglily myself and she did not expect that. she run home and it has been a month now. I never see her. When I am at the balcony she locks herself inside. She does her garden during very early hours so that I do not by accident fidn her outside and... well that was it. The neighbourhood is so quiet now.