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Love or hate them: How do you feel about the holidays?
@celestialbloom (204)
United States
November 19, 2009 2:37pm CST
Call me a Scrooge, but I hate the holiday season. Every year I dread its start during the third week of November and look forward to February 15th, when it's finally finished.
When I was very little, I loved all of the holidays, without exception. Thanksgiving was my favorite, because I was "born with a hollow leg," as my parents put it, hehe, and I liked going to the big family gatherings. Then my parents divorced, and the holidays became a yearly argument about where I would be and with whom. Money became an issue, also, and I began to understand exactly how commercialized holidays are. There is so much pressure for expensive, store-bought presents!
Now that I'm grown the holidays have a new sadness, because so many family members have passed away or are now sick. Gatherings that were once large are now very small. Also, there are always arguments and tensions among those present (or not present). Money is still an issue for me, for both philosophical reasons (such as an objection to holiday commercialism) and practical ones (such as I'm too broke to buy a bunch of gifts). For all of these reasons, I hate the holidays.
How do you feel about them? Do you feel like me and dread them, or do you love them and look forward to them? Either way, why?
3 people like this
16 responses
@angelsmummy (1696)
•
19 Nov 09
I love them yet I hate them. I love them for my kids. Last year was my oldest daughters first christmas and this year will be my youngest daughters first christmas. I think its really nice for the kids. There is too much pressure on adults though to get everything right qand to get the perfect gifts and cook the perfect dinner that is why I hate them! Im sure as the children get older I will hate them more due to the fact that thoses damn adverts come on with all the 'must have' toys!
I wish they gave you more than one years notice haha!
@danrunsfast614 (1396)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Well, they can be complicated, but generally I enjoy them. My family will have some arguments, and some have passed but it is always nice, in the end, to see them and talk about life. I typically only get presents for my super close family, and we have rules on how expensive they can be so it never gets political.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
It sounds like you have a good family to spend the holidays with, danrunsfast. :) It also sounds like you all have worked out a present system that works well for you. At one point someone in my family proposed that we stop presents for the adults and everyone just buy presents for the kids under twelve. I thought this was a great idea, but the majority ruled, and so all adults draw names from a hat on Thanksgiving to figure out who they'll buy a present for, under a certain amount of money. Usually this means that you're shopping for someone you're not all that close to, so rather than risk buying something goofy, we all cheat and ask each other what other folks want. This system works OK, but it's not a tradition I plan to continue when I have my own family.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
That is what I try to do also, laglen - give homemade gifts and enjoy the family time. Unfortunately several members of my family don't seem to think that homemade gifts count, or something. :(
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
20 Nov 09
I love holidays no matter I am an adult now. The holidays offer me time to relax and go out for travelling. And I like the holiday atomsphere.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
That's great that you have time to relax and travel during the holidays, zhangfzoe. :) I too enjoy the holiday atmosphere when I see lights and decorations and hear the music.
@nautilus33 (1827)
•
20 Nov 09
Hi, I love the holidays, because then I have enough free time to go for a walk and to make some pictures. I love them because I have a time to read some book or some Sci-Fi magazine or to go out with my friends.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Your holidays sound very pleasant, nautilus. :) They don't seem stressful and hectic with lots of family and money issues, like so many other responses. Please enjoy your next holiday a little extra, on our behalf! :)
@Norah0804 (165)
• China
20 Nov 09
Hi, I'm new here and glad to talk to you.
As a student, I like the holiday especially the summer holiday.I can share happniess with my family. Last summer, I came to many places of interest and enjoyed my journey.
Friend, you can change your inital attitude towards holiday and seek a balance between money and enjoyment.
Have a nice day.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Welcome to MyLot, Norah! :) I'm fairly new here myself, but I'm really beginning to enjoy my time here. I'm sure you will too! Thank you for your warm wishes; hopefully this holiday season will be better than previous ones.
@kdhartford (1151)
• United States
20 Nov 09
I like the holidays. I usually get my best work done during this time. I mean the office is quiet, no one bothers me...just kidding. I think that our holiday season has become a bit too much commercialized for my taste. It is hard not to be, but I feel that my family has worked hard to tone that down the last few years. But I also know that most retailers use the holidays to make their numbers. Perhaps we all just have unrealistic expectations.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Perhaps you're right that we tend to have unrealistic expectations. It seems like for a lot of folks, every year has to be bigger and better than the last, whether we're talking presents, profits, or presentation. Part of my family has toned down quite a bit also during the past few years, which I think is refreshing. :)
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Nov 09
i am scrooge too damn the holidays glad when they are over, I have no home,my only family my son is in a gov.sponsored apt inthe next town I am here in Gold Crest great lovely but its not my home, its a home for all of us but not my own home. not at all. when we had our own apartment yes I loved Christmas but now my son is out of work for months, I have no home, whats to be so greatly cheerful for? After my social security and SSI check p ays for the rent and food, I have left the magnificent sum of one hundred twenty five dollars, whoopee. for the whole lousy month.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
19 Nov 09
I hear ya, Hatley! There is not a lot to be cheerful about in my life either, and then the holidays come, and I'm expected to put on a happy face and spend money on people who I don't really see or talk to for the rest of the year? At work and on my dad's side of the family, we draw names, so a lot of times you really don't know a whole lot about what that person might want. This seems like a waste of time and money and takes away the joy of giving. My mom's side only has 5 people, and everyone gives a gift to everyone else. This is nice in a way but it is expensive. None of us have much money, most making just enough to pay for the necessities, nothing extra. Last year I started pushing for homemade gifts - baked goods, candies, scrapbooks, sewing, knitting, whatever. I would rather get something like that anyway, but only one family member went along with it. Maybe more will do it this year.
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
20 Nov 09
At first, I was shocked when I read your first sentence. Then after finishing reading what you wrote, I understood why you hated the holidays. I sincerely hope next time you will have a better holiday. :) As for me, I love holidays. Any kind of holiday suits me. First, there is no work during holidays. Second, during holidays, my family and relatives usually have one big gathering or outings. Since I was a kid, holidays usually symbolize fun for me.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Hehe, sorry to have shocked you, zzyw87! Thank you for your warm wishes for the holiday season; I'm hoping this one will, at the very least, be better than last year's!
Your holidays sound very nice with no work and fun family gatherings. :) Hope you have a great time during the upcoming holiday season!
@TrvlArrngr (4045)
• United States
20 Nov 09
I love them though I am usually broke from them. My birthday is the 21st so it is really my only celebration time all year.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Ah, I have several friends in the same situation as you, with birthdays around Christmas, and most all of them hate it. They complain that their birthdays get lost in the Christmas shuffle, blended into it, so that they don't really get a special day to themselves. However, I have one friend whose birthday is the 26th, and she uses it to try to turn all of the holiday celebrations into birthday stuff, Queen of the Day style, and pouts horribly when folks don't go along with it! I do feel bad for her though, because who wants to go to a birthday party on the day after Christmas? :P Folks born on the 25th or 26th totally get jipped! Sorry your's is so close, TrvlArrngr!
@crysontherocks77 (1273)
• United States
19 Nov 09
I like the holidays it's just everything leading up to the holidays because that's when my family starts in about everything. They think they aught to be the ones to get everything and you don't have anything to give to begin with.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
20 Nov 09
It is like this with a some of my family and coworkers, too, crysontherocks. I earn just enough to take care of the necessities and I prefer to give homemade gifts. So when I feel obligated to buy a present (or it is mandatory, like at work), I feel a real financial strain and a lot of annoyance.
I have to admit that because of that and the impersonal nature of a lot these gifts (names or gender drawn from a hat), I have been known to do some re-gifting, hehe! :)
@Hippie_Ashley (81)
• United States
19 Nov 09
Holidays are nice when you are a kid because your innocent and don't understand a lot of things.. Like how much it costs to have a Christmas!! Family get togethers never seemed to bother me, it's the fact you have to go out and buy these people gifts and you just don't really know much or anything really about them. Yes, they are family but I don't see a lot of my family members that often so they are kind of like strangers to me. I hate how you have to find the time to shop and decorate the house and cook. On top of all the that still go to work and manage to pay all your bills on time. I don't think America should focus so much on Christmas like they do. They focus on the present part more then the let's just be thankful that we are here on Earth, and we have people in our lives that care about each other. Instead they focus on the part that is make sure you give this person a present, to show you care about them....
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Well put, Ashley! If Christmas was more of the being thankful and celebrating life sort of holiday, I would probably like it much more. But as it is, it seems more focused on the quality of the presents. I know a lot of folks who estimate a person's feelings about them by the cost of the present the person gives. The side of my family that is larger draws names from a hat, which means a lot of times I don't know much about the person I have to shop for. Our family puts a price limit on the presents, like $35 - reasonable, but still expensive when you just don't have it. I like to do homemade gifts, but I can't really for this.
And yes, while I don't mind the cooking and eating part of the holidays (yum!), decorating is a hassle. I have a bunch of decorations, but I live alone now, and it's a huge, pointless effort to put it all out and then put it all away, as pretty as they look once they're up. Plus the lights add to the electric bill. I didn't mess with decorations at all last year, and I'm thinking of selling them this year. Maybe I'll get a new indoor cactus and hang a few decorations on that instead. :)
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Your holidays sound very nice, ccet! My holidays tend to be even more hectic and stressful than my regular days, unfortunately. :( Wish mine were more like yours!
@MJay101 (710)
•
19 Nov 09
I love the holidays, but not for the boring commercial reasons.
I used to love the holidays because it was time that I could spend with the family (and not in school, work, etc.). Now I love the holidays because it's time that I can spend with my other half!
Any excuse to get away from work and I'm there. 
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Haha, I like your attitude, MJay! Unfortunately in the industry that I work in, the holiday season is the busiest time of the year, so not only do I have to work, but I have to work longer, harder hours. :P On the bright sides, more work equals more pay, so that sweetens the deal.
@benny128 (3615)
•
19 Nov 09
personally I love the christmas period, its a time for reflection in my opinion and to look forward to the coming year.
Its great when the weather starts to get colder and in december when the lights start appearing on peoples house's everybody seems to be joining together in the festive spirit for the only time in the year.
I have lost friends over the christmas period and its a reflection time and also a happy time and it is the best time of the year in my opinion and always will be as just a big kid at heart.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
19 Nov 09
You seem like a happy, optimistic person, benny! :) I too find myself spending time in reflection during the holiday season, but unfortunately it doesn't usually lead to me looking forward to the coming year, haha. I do enjoy the Christmas lights, though. I was just telling another responder that kids put the life in Christmas, so if you are a "big kid at heart," it is no wonder that you love the season. :)
@paleorainy (630)
• Italy
19 Nov 09
I don't normally like the holidays because they carry a ton of bad past memories that I really don't want to deal with, or even just remember.
But actually this year I am trying a different approach, I'll try and commit into NOT hating them, because I had some horrible holidays doesn't mean I cannot enjoy them anymore. I'll try to close the door leaving all the bad memories where they are, walk away and be a new person.
Till now, it's working, let's see how it proceeds.
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
19 Nov 09
Those are wonderful, inspiring words, paleorainy! Some of my family is planning to get together this year, and though I've been invited, I'm still not sure if it is worth it. Maybe I should take your approach and be determined to enjoy them. Like my stepmom used to say before we left the house to go to family gatherings/weddings/graduations/etc. "Smile and be happy, damn it!" ;)
It sounds like you're doing some real soul-searching and growth this holiday season, tough stuff. My thoughts will be with you. Good luck!
