Is it true that children are more closer to thier grandparents than parents?

@amyson (3509)
Philippines
January 20, 2010 10:26am CST
i observe mostly in noontime shows in my country i notice that mostly children says that their grandparents took care them until adults they much more closer to their grandparents because oldies are like to pamper their grandchildren giving what they want some of them are spoiled by grandparents.
15 people like this
51 responses
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jan 10
hi amyson I feel that children are closest to the people who will listen to them, really listen to them when they tell them something, and not just blow them off. I was closer to my grandpa than my parents as he always took time to really listen to what I was saying, not just half listen and not stop doing what he was doing as my mom and dad would do, but he gave me his full attention. kids need to be heard.
2 people like this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
yes,that is so nice to hear..our grandparents always like treating their grandchildren so kind and giving something that they want sometimes kids mostly favor to come to their grandparents because they are caring and very supportive.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (99204)
• United States
20 Jan 10
Hatley, that is a very important part of relationships. I think the closeness with a grandparent is something special and unique, because they do take the time to listen and be there.
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
yes they always like that..they have a lot of time to listen to our concerns that is why mostly kids closer to their grandparents.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
21 Jan 10
I can't speak from experance. But, I do know, sometimes when a child sees more of their grandparent then their parents then naturally the child may become closer to the older relitive. And, there are some, that don't even know they ever had grandparents. (Like me) because they pass on eaither before the child is born, or while the child is too young to remember. So it depends on the living situation.
2 people like this
@varron (453)
• Philippines
5 Feb 10
It depends upon the situation. There are cases wherein the children are more closer to the grand parents, if the grand parents stay with them in the long period of time. The issue here is that, children needs attention and affection and somebody that they mostly spend there time are more closer to them. Sometimes grandparents use to have a great time with children considering that some of the parents leaves for a job and children are entrusted to the grandparents. The child then take attention and affection to the grandparents because they are the one who rear them much and spend there time much compared to the parents themself. It is important to understand that children in their young age needs these attention, affection and love. That is one of the reason why there are cases that young children prefers to stay with the grandparents rather to their own parents as they are closer to them.
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
best answer here...
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
There are such cases where children are closer to their grandparents than their parents but in my case, my kids are closer to me. Children are very sensitive. They can sense if they are truly loved and cared for by others. They know who shows true concern for them. They know if the love they give is not reciprocated. So, they choose who they trust.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
yes, grandparents are more sensitive to their grandchildren needs as they are their companion everyday children feel the same things as they are familiarize with them as their companion everyday taking care of their needs and look always on their welfare while their own parents are away from work. children learn to respect elderly and become obedient to them at the same time.
@Hazelrose (2185)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
Hi amyson,Yes i think so,I have a 4 year old grand son and he is really close to me and to my husband.We love him so much,We show him our love and care but we still descipline him.He is also very close to his parents and i think being close to grandparents are natural to the children.Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
the real love for grandchildren is to show balance of love and discipline. also the most to teach them to respect the elderly not only the person closer to them but also other people in the same way they learn it in the younger age and when they grow up they retain the same learning. when grandchildren been raise under the care of grandparents they become more obedient and respectful person.
1 person likes this
• Hong Kong
21 Jan 10
yes that is the case of my baby too, she most love to care by her grandparents. If she cries she wants her grandmother to put her to sleep and not her mother my wife..
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
most of the time it is the grandparents who were left in the home to care for their grandchildren and ma be the reason most grown up most closer to them. it is the same face they see everyday and those the same who care for them give them attention. sometimes becomes even playmate they have so much fun. when parents only have the chance to care for their children after work or during week ends.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
20 Jan 10
Hi amyson, This may be true in some cases but certainly not in most. I think that children are closer to their parents and that is exactly how it should be.It has been my experience that while many children like to spend times with their grandparents, they are always happy to get back with their mom and dad. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
it depend too in some situation the children grandparents still live with them while some could not tell the same experiences when their grandparents already passed away. parents especially stay at home mom is more closer to their children than their dad. since it is the same person they acquainted everyday they get use to it.
1 person likes this
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Maybe applicable for only one or few grandchildren. Grandparents only spoils one or two or maybe a few of their grandchildren but not the entire flock. Those children who were spoiled by their grandparents tend to be more close to them than to their parents. I see one co-workers saying that her child is more close to her grandparents than to her because she is working and the one left in the home with her child are the grandparents. Her child called her mommy while she called her grandparents mama. And each time they went out, the child always ask permission to her grandparents than to hers. No regrets though for the mother, but just an example of how grandparents maybe too attached to their grandchildren. But, they never did it to their other grandchildren though.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
it maybe better for the set up at least the mother get assured her children are in good hands with grandparents to look around and care for their welfare. the parents could work well away from home and when they get off from work during weekends they could spend most of the time with their children. the spoiled thing is only normal since grandparents would not be here for a long time to see their grandchildren growing up. it is nice to see they bond and grown attached to see their grandparents. they could learn something which the parents could not alone do. such as good manners and story telling.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
i heard whoopi goldberg said this once on tv that grandparents love their grandchildren more than they love their own children simply because you can spoil them and dont have to disipline them, for disipline is responsibilities of parents. i am not close to my father and he does not make any effort to ask or see what is going on with my child, my mother is half bodied paralyze so she can not really play or go to places that my son would like to. althoug my son kisses and hugs my mother. i guess this is true having grandchildren close to their grandparents but it is not applicable to everybody. just my views.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
this my same observation as well and it is a good things since grandchildren only have few times left on their life. they should really treasure spending time with their grandchildren. in case of incapacity to be with grand children because of illness some grandchildren already understand it. and would even make an effort to care for their grandparents trying to have fun with them. the important each know how to treat each other as valuable part of the family..
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
20 Jan 10
Me, my brother and sister was raised by our grandparents. My mother's parents. I always heard from my birth mom and aunts that we had it much better than when they were being raised. Maybe because by that time my grandparents were better off $$$$. Im sure we appeared spoiled to my aunts and mom. What i know now as a grandma myself. Since my kids are grown i have more $$$ than when my kids were at home. I dont spoil my grandkids. Or at least i dont go against mom and dads rules for them. Unless they trick me. Like treats they claim they can have. Or the difference between snacks and treats. Playtimes and/or toy they are supposed to have or not. They think they can be slick that way.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
well by your comparison then life before is easy and you are live with much comfort because of the financial sustainability. otherwise, what you showing to your kid;s grandchildren are likely the same affection most grandparents show to their grandchildren. it is not spoil type but just enjoy the precious moments not have plenty of time in your hands. so whatever you could share with them should be filled with happy moments.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Hello amyson, I don't think so my dear, maybe it depends on the situation. If the kids lives near their grandparents,then,i could say..it can be that way. But,even if the kids lives near to their grandparents,if,they're not that close(close relationship)then,maybe it wont be that way. I was raised by my grandparents,so,i can say that i am very close to them. I live with them for 14 years,and they really love me so much. That is one reason why i am not close to my father,but with my mom...we are very close to each other like how close i am with my grandparents. I am a mother of 3 kids and we live near my in-laws(parents in-law),and we had a good relationship with my in-laws. But,it's only my daughter who's having close relationship with my in-laws. My two other sons were also close to them,but,not the same closeness that i've observed with my daughter. My parents lives far from us,but my kids were having a very close relationship with my parents esp to my mom. My kids can asks my mom whatever they want,thu they seldom see and stay with them. We were spending vacation with my parents during summer everytime my mom came to visit our country(she's living/working abroad) This is the only time that,we stayed with my parents,and kids had time with their grandparents too. But this rare occasion didn't affect the closeness my kids and my parents relationship. So,i think,it depends on each situation,and how does the grandparents treat and show's their love and care to their grandchildren. Have a good day always
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
yes your right..it really depends how the parent brought their kids.in many situation happen when parent leave the country for earning so kids left to grandparents.grandparents now are the one rearing their grandchildren that is why they says they are very to grandparents.
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15226)
• United States
20 Jan 10
I think in many cases this is true whether or not the grandparents "spoil" the children, which many do, of course. In my case, I was not allowed to have very much contact with my grandparents, but even so, there was a much closer bond with them than with my parents. The saying is that personal characteristics skip a generation and I think there is some truth in that. Sometime we rebel against our parent (sometimes for good reason) but often, although not in all cases, we bond with the parents of our parents.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
yes it really depends in the situation some have good bonding moments with their grandparents but some are not.but mostly grandchildren likes to live to their grandparents because they are good listener and great provider.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99204)
• United States
20 Jan 10
My grandmother did not live close to me, but I felt that she was more interested in me and my dreams. Our parents are busy working and taking care of our needs and it seems like to us that they have no real time to look at us.I think that is why we have grandparents, to help the parents when they do not have time.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
yes,my grandma fetch me in school when i was 6 years old when my mom is working and one ones to watch over but my grandma is there to help my mother.they expert on how to take care their grandchildren because of the experience they had in the past.
2 people like this
@borg246 (541)
• Malta
20 Jan 10
Hey amyson, I just want to say that there is no definite answer to your questions, but I have some beliefs which could be true. I think that children are the closest with the person whome they spend more time with. It doesn't have to be your parents, your grandparents, it could be your friend. I think this makes sense because when I was young, I used to spend more time with my grandfather than either of my parents and even though I do see my own parents regurarly, I feel closer to him than I do with my parents. Weird huh? But true.
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
yes i do agree if the children grows to with their grandparents they more closer to them which is sometimes true.but as you said whoever take good care of them mostly are ones they remember.
2 people like this
• Pamplona, Spain
29 Jan 10
Hiya amyson, Children need grandparents ideally even when they have grown up. I think apart from possibly being spoiled they need that extra security specially in times like these. In a certain school in England the children get to eat their School Dinner with their Grandparents instead of going home as they canĀ“t go home anyway because of their Parents working all day.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
27 Jan 10
I think it's kinda true to some extent.. Because grandparents tend to dote more all grandchildren, and thus spoiling them in the process.. haha =D BUt as parents to the kids, parents cant afford to do so, because it will somehow conflict with the way they discpline the child?? After all, how long more, can a grandparent be staying alive?? So instead, of spending rest of the life, being someone mean, why not, bring joy to the young ones??
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19075)
• United States
26 Jan 10
Only if grandparents live very close. Yes, grandparents pamper grand-kids, because they know how precious time can be. Kids are growing very fast.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Jan 10
I don't think they are closer in most cases, just close differently.
1 person likes this
@mariechin (428)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
Somehow yes.. Maybe because Grandparents tend to give all to their grandchildren while the parents do the discipline factor hehehehehe.. I grew up with my grandparents, and I am close to them, they gave me lots of attention and care... My mom use to discipline me. That's why I go with my grandparents to avoid my mom hehehe...
1 person likes this
@myliezl0903 (2731)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
hi there! i am too one of those who are really close to grandparents ., basically because i lived there since my parents left to work abroad ., too sad but thats the reality .,
1 person likes this