Do you think it is fair.......

@zandi458 (27952)
Malaysia
February 17, 2010 2:57am CST
to keep on responding to friends discussions when they don't even reciprocate our deeds. I soon realized that I am not being appreciated when I respond to their ever flowing discussions but never get to see their shadows in my discussions. Not even once! what happen? The newbies come in droves to lend their support while those I thought I admit as my friends who are in my list refrain from supporting my discussions. Is this what we call friends? Of course it is not an offense to bypass a friend's discussion but at least your views can make a lot of difference. Every person has her own views so that makes an interesting collective views for everyone to share. I don't blame you for disliking my uninteresting selection of topics as like me you might not be able to relate well to the subject of discussion but it is no excuse for not trying the next post. I need your support friends as much as you need mine. This is no begging but I am only reminding one and all that we are here to support each other. It is so much fun to have friends involvement in our discussions as it prolong our existence here. With no responses to discussions mean a natural death for a great topic. It is not only a waste of time and efforts but it is very demoralizing.
17 people like this
50 responses
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
..hi zandi.. On my part, I just respond to those discussions if they interest me.. I don't necessarily respond to my friends' discussion because they are my friends.. For me, it will be more enjoyable and worthwhile answering discussions even if they are not your friends.. Because, if the case is, we respond to our own circle of friends, then we won't be able to socialize and I think we are already defeating the goal of mylot.. we are focusing only on the payment that we are going to receive.. please don't get me wrong.. this is just how I see it.. I'm not a type of person who looks at the discussions posted by my friends and respond to them even if I don't know anything about the topic.. I hope you got my point.. still, don't feel so bad.. I've had my own posts that were not responded at all.. and I think its not you or we alone who has that experience.. many of us have their own experience on that.. So as I've said, don't be hurt and just continue doing what you think is good.
4 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
I do think on the same line as you. I am not only confining myself to my friends discussions but will roam from end to end of the tab to check on others discussions. But since I have my own circle of friends in my list and their notifications have been switch on so naturally I will respond to their discussions first when I get them in my email. What disappoint me is that I dutifully respond to their discussions but they fail to do the same for mine. I am not hurt but sometimes a little reminder would make them realize that mylot is a two way traffic and they need to appreciate and return favor sometimes even if it means only once in a blue moon. I really don't expect to meet them in all my discussions as it is too much for an asking.
2 people like this
@thea09 (18324)
• Greece
17 Feb 10
Hi Zandi, I'm hardly on here so don't get to respond to anyone much, though I do have a bit of a stalk to see where Lamby is usually, and the blue rabbit. When I was here frequently though I only ever responded to the discussions which interested me and if someone on my list never had any I cut them loose. On the whole though I would say it was fairly reciprocal, though I had quite a few who rarely made any of their own, so I did make a special effort if they ever came up with one.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
Hi thea, it is a pleasure to have you here today. I miss your witty responses and discussions. I am well informed of your unavailability here through your last post. I hope you will change your stand and come back here again. Probably you have found a greener pasture which is why you left us all here still hammering on our keyboards. But hopefully you can divide your time to be here sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 10
Thea! It is great to see you on here again, my dear! *HUGS* It is a bit of irony that the rabbit decides to come back and grace us with her presence again just as you decide that you need a break from us. I thought for sure that her being back would convince you to be on here more, especially with Lamb keeping your feet warm all the while you are on here. I will have to go do some profile stalking tomorrow and see what scandalous posts you made that people did not find the humor in.
• Spain
18 Feb 10
What about me? Don't I get to be stalked any more? (goes and throws herself under approaching train. Life isn't worth living if Thea doesn't love me enough to stalk me) Now you're feeling guilty, aren't you?
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 10
I dont responed to discussion that just my friends write. I responed to discussion that catch my eye or that are interesting. Maybe I am wrong for that but, I know that I would rather some responed to my discussion because they found it interesting other than responeding to my discussion just because I responed to one to theirs. But, that is just my way of thinking.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
We should never confine ourselves to our friends discussions alone. I am always open to all discussions here. But what happen if you respond to a friend discussion everytime they appear in your email..maybe 10 or twenty of a person's post but not once do they check on your discussion?
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 10
I would stop responding inless your were turly interested in what the discussion was about. I would only respond to the ones that you were interested in. If you are doing it as a favor then really you can't exspevt something in return you can only hope your good deed will be repaid and if its not then I wouldnt do it as a favor no more! Good Luck Hun!
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
17 Feb 10
I am not sure how many are on my friends list but I do know not all respond. oh yes I would like every one to res[pond to them they just dont . and some I never see posts from either not sure if they are still here or not and about the time I want to delete someone from there they show up with a post lolo I am with you we all need to do our part.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
You have so far come top in responding to my discussions. You are always there supporting me all along. Thank you. But I have not been able to respond to some of your posts as they are more on your country's political leader which I am not in the position to comment. Sorry for that.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
18 Feb 10
thanks I like to be there for you. and I know ya cant respond to my political post for you would really have to know our Country for that and also the opinion of the people here hugsssssssss
1 person likes this
@lucius67 (41)
• United States
20 Feb 10
I think you should respond to a thread because you have an opinion not because you are trying to score points with a friend.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
22 Feb 10
It is what expected of friends here. There should be a give and take.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
18 Feb 10
Hi Zandi, I have to admit that I don't pay attention to things like that. As I type this, I can't even honestly say whether or not you are on my friends list but I feel you are my friend regardless. I get on here and go into top discussions and then hot and ones started by friends. Sometimes really good discussions get lost in the shuffle and I notice them days and sometimes weeks, sometimes even longer after they were posted. I know that you have had some really awesome discussions so I don't think you should take it personally. I sometimes think the time of day that you post a discussion might make a difference in it getting noticed and kept on the top. I'm not sure but if a discussion is posted during the day during the week when a lot of people are at work then by the time those people get home and get on line, it's probably already buried under a pile of other discussions.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
To be honest, I know who and who are in my list. But I do make it a point to respond to others outside my list. We should be neutral and should support the rest regardless whether they in or out of our list. I don't take into account the world clock. I post at any hour as I am not good at monitoring on time differences with other countries. Good that mylot is here 24/7 and to me it doesn't make much difference in the timing of posting. But maybe the interest counts a lot.
@timasma (123)
• Poland
17 Feb 10
I try to respond to all the topics that interest me, I get the e-mails and only delete them when I respond or if I cant respond. But I understand what you are saying, I also didn't get many responses to my questions. It's frustrating all I can think of is maybe no one found my questions good, so I just respond to everyone's questions now, at least until I find a question that interests more people.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
Hi timasma, I think you are doing the right thing now. Being a newbie you should respond to as many discussions as possible to make your presence felt here.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
17 Feb 10
HI Zandi! I try my best to respond to your posts, provided I could relate to your post. You always start wonderful and meaningful posts, which prompts us to respond. It is true that we all expect that our friends should join us in our discussions to share their views, however, when we do not find certain friends in our discussions, we feel slightly disappointed. Whenever, I start a new post, I also expect that my friends will come and share their views in the discussions. I feel there is nothing wrong in expecting from friends. After all what for friends are. Deepak
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
This word 'provided' holds weight. There is always an option to respond or not to respond to friends discussion as it is within our jurisdiction to decide which topics are within our capability to handle. Yes, I have seen and read some of your discussions but sadly I am lost of what to say as my brain juices just doesn't flow out and that makes me skip your discussion. My thousand apology for not supporting some of your discussions but hopefully I'll be able to respond to your future discussions. We still have a long way to go in mylot. There are still rooms for many future encounters.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
18 Feb 10
Hi Zandi! No way, I am not going to accept your apologies......... because you need not ask for it. I would get punished by the God, if I demand an apology from a very dear friend like you......lol! I have nothing against you and it won't be there in future too. You are such a great friends and most of the time you support me in my discussions. I know that if you are not able to respond, it means either you are very busy or you just cannot relate to my post. In fact, sometimes, I miss some of your posts so my apologies to you...........!!!!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
I like the emoticon besides my name..thanks for being honest and truthful.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10902)
17 Feb 10
I just keep responding to discussions when I feel I have something of interest to say. I rarely check to see if those people are responding to my discussions. Mind you, I don't have the time to create many discussions these days, by the time I have responded to my friends discussion. If there aren't too many discussions goint that I can repsond to, I will start one then if I can find a topic that is! _Derek
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
Of course I notice your consistent support to my discussions. I have so much of praise for your invaluable and intellectual views which I appreciate silently. You are a man with so much of knowledge and experiences in life. I gain so much from your sharing. Thank you.
3 people like this
@derek_a (10902)
18 Feb 10
Thank you very much for you kind comments. It really is a reward in itself to know that what I have written is of help to somebody. _Derek
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
• Indonesia
19 Feb 10
I agree what you are saying. Friend support eatch other...
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 10
Yes, it is what is supposed to be done here.
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
19 Feb 10
While supporting a friend must be objective but not lacking gentleness and delicacy
2 people like this
@jellymonty (2358)
19 Feb 10
Its most likely your discussions don't arouse people's interest. I mean just because they are on your friend list doesn't mean they have to respond to your discussions. It's all about interests my dear. I for one would only respond to a topic that interests me, whether a friend started it or not.. So maybe next time you're accepting or requesting friends, its best to see if they share the same interests as you so you won't feel neglected.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 10
I never look at the interest of a person when I accept them. Maybe that is one reason why friends doesn't respond as they are totally blanked out when they don't have any interest on the topic. But again I am quite flexible and would talk about anything under the sun so there is no reason not to respond to at least once.
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
19 Feb 10
I would respond to the discussion of a friend if I appreciate what is said I would comment if there are side effects pro or con on an argument expressed and accept the same a healthy feed back gentle but honest
1 person likes this
@basqui (3890)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
every deed a friend makes should be appreciated by friends, maybe they are not true friends, are they?
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
17 Feb 10
I am not here to judge whether they are true or fake friends in mylot. But I expect them to be supportive friends in the spirit of mylotting.
2 people like this
• New Zealand
19 Feb 10
It's not fair but life isnt fair either. I'd accept it but at the same time be very bitter towards those so called "friends".
@jresno (4)
• United States
20 Feb 10
I guess I may be idealistic in how I think but: If you are only "friends" with that user so they reciprocate and help you make a little bit of cash...how true is your friendship? I say accept what is given to you and let live.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
21 Feb 10
we need friends here to be effective in mylotting. As a newbie here you need to have friends to be effective in mylotting.
• United States
19 Feb 10
i do agree 100% only problem i had was when i lost internet for a year which was a sad year haha. but i do agree should always check up on the people who made you as a friend. cheers!!
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
21 Feb 10
It is unfortunate that you have to lose your connection for a year as it is the only link that connects us to friends in the virtual world. Hope now that you have the net back I'll see you more often mylot. LOL
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
19 Feb 10
I have been away from here for a long while and I am trying to go through some friends' discussions right now. I hope to catch up for some of the ones that I have missed.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (100474)
• United States
20 Feb 10
Hi, I remember you, welcome back. I do not know if you were on my friend list. I do know that sometimes life happens and we have to be away and we cannot do what we would like.
@Aaleexix (2291)
• India
19 Feb 10
I want to respond discussion on the basis of the topics. I never make difference between discussion and friend started discussion. And I respond not to support anyone but when I feel tenancy to speak something on the topic. Every person has her own views so I want to share my views on my interested topic. This is my friend's discussion so I must respond to this discussion is not my cause of response but my cause of response is that the topic is interested to me. No response discussion is discouragement for the poster. And if any discussion of my interest left here with no response then I always try to response to such discussion.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 10
Only when you have the interest on the topic of discussion that you can give a well thought out views. And I do that too but at the same breath I will try to respond to most of my friends discussions first before the rest as it is part of socializing and supporting their discussions.
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
18 Feb 10
It is good to know friend's mind. If it treats of a friend and if I think different I would speak out politely. If my discussion should bring up a shadow I would not comment at all or I would not join for the discussion of my friend. Of course we need mutual support. When it is a public discussion, friendship feelings should be sidelined. If it should create an unhealthy feeling then I drop it out
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Feb 10
As members of this site it is good if everyone can be at the discussion table to share their views and knowledge. This is what mylot is all about to share and learn from each other.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Feb 10
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
I read you..
@fcrifcri (122)
• Italy
18 Feb 10
I understand what you say but, at the same time, I have to say that I ma not answering in every single discussion that a friend of mine is opening. Usually I check my friend discussions but I answer when the discussion is interesting to me or maybe funny. There are so many discussions here that I can't post in every one. Obviously a reciprocal help could be interesting but this is not only for friends here.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
In fact it is up to you to choose which discussions you wish to respond. We are not obligated to respond to our friends discussions. But it is the culture in mylot to respond and support our friends.
@ybong007 (6658)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
The moment i read your post i checked your profile right away for fear that i could be one of those you are referring to. And i'm glad i'm not . I know how you feel but I've learn to accept the fact that we do have our own interests. But you're right about the support we expect from our friends here. But still i can't take it against my friends if they don't respond to my discussion. But thanks if they do, if not then i move on. Cheers!
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Feb 10
Well everyone has their own choice to whom they want to respond but I think one need to play a fair game here sometimes when someone frequently support your posts, it is only right that you take a look at her discussions and share your views at least once or twice. There should be a goodwill among the residence here if there is a give and take.