How would you feel?

I think I would feel the same way you do. Not mad, but wishing he'd done it differently. He might have had second thoughts about it if he'd waited. What's done is done, though, and he will probably enjoy his new moped!

From what you described, it sounds like you didn't really make it clear that you wanted him to wait through the weekend. He probably heard you say you were okay with it, but that you were waiting to see if it was meant to be. Being as excited as he was to have it, he was probably worried it wouldn't still be there today. Since you didn't really state your position clearly, you can't really take it as him not listening. He could not have realized why you wanted him to wait. When my husband and I have a conversation like this, I give him a clear yes or no. If we can afford it I usually say yes. If we can't then I say no. If it were a matter of not having the money until another vehicle was sold then I'd say to wait until that point so it wouldn't hurt us financially. He'd understand and would listen.

If you are like me, you will just let it slide. When my husband finds something he wants, nothing will do, but he jumps right into it if it will not put us in debt. I am sure he will like it.

Well they say one of the things couples fight the most about is money. I would not let this bother you too much unless that was all you had money wise. I would express to him that you did ask him to wait and next time please consider your feelings about making a bigger purchase. I know it makes you feel like he did not consider your thoughts but you know when we see something we really want we tend to want to go for it. I hope this helps and happy mylotting to you.

I know my man and if he puts his mind to it then you know it is as good as it being here or happening. By asking , it just makes look like being given a heads up of what he intended to do. I would be upset because our financial situation, well is not there whatsoever. At least his goal is to get rid of an item and put the money back so I would not be as mad provided the vehicle sold in a timely manner. I understand that the moped may not have been there either to purchase after the weekend. So I see why he went and bought it. As for your feelings, I would look at the big picture, Does he do this often? Or is it an opportunity that he could not let go by? Another question I have is the other one too much for repairs? Or may be he thought the two of you could mopeding together? I would not worry about it too much. He may also want to sell the other one. I understand that there are two people in a relationship and both of you need to have an understanding when it comes to spending money. Money is the root of all evil. Relax and take care. I would make sure the othe r stuff went up for sale on Craigslist, or another for sale place that is free..

well it depends the way u see it. if u feel disrespected cause small things in life matter most then u would feel depressed. but again, wasn't it a combined decision to get the vehicle in the first place :)

We have been married for over 30 years and I can tell you that he does what he wants! But so do I. We have always put our money together and paid all the bills and we talk about what we can and can't afford and what will help the most. But as far as 'getting' goes we get what we want. I think you have to find your 'ground' in this relationship and go from there. With the price of gas it sounds like this would be the cheapest way to go, that the gas savings alone will pay for the moped. When we got our second tax return we went shopping after doing our taxes (long before the instant refund days!) I wanted a new sewing machine, top of the Singer line. $1500! That was what our tax return was used for. Then for the next 6 weeks all I heard was "If you didn't get that sewing machine we could have boght a riding lawn mower!" The day the return came I was so mad at him I went to the store, paid off my sewing machine then went to the farm store and bought his riding lawn mower, brought it home and parked it in front of the basement door, he couldn't get in the door with out moving it! I met him at the door and he said "I thought you wanted your sewing machine!" and I said "YOU wanted a riding lawn mower!" He really felt bad. Then he came upstairs and there sat my machine (I had been making payments on it so it wasn't that much left) and he said "how much do you still owe?" "NOHTING! Everything is paid off!"...then 3 days later he discovered I had switched cabinets the one I was suppose to get was $200 and the one I got was $500!!!!... You said you really are not mad at him so tell him you love him and it will all work out. We have replaced that lawn mower 3 or 4 times, but the sewing machine and cabinet I still use!!!!

Hi Dorannmwin, Since it was a major purchase and you guys had already discussed it then I really think he should have talked it over with you before changing up the plan that you had agreed on. Still, since he will be putting the money back into the bank so it won't cause a big financial problem for you, I think I would let this one slide. It doesn't sound as if he did it to be spiteful to you. Sounds like he was so excited on this bike that he just couldn't wait.

I would start asking questions about our previous conversation. But, this is a most irritating thing to me. I would say, probably, "oh, what was it we were talking about regarding getting the bike again?" "Oh, right, so what made you choose to get the bike, instead of honoring the decision we made together?" It really depends on the answers receivable from there. But, this usually leads to arguments, and lately I have been trying to be more understanding and empathetic towards others, in an effort to not feel like slapping them. I would, if I realized my mood begin to change for the worse, try to stop and take a moment, to see things from their point of view. Understanding where they are coming from, and relating to them is what too many successful people teach for it to be a thing for me to ignore. I have full confidence in your ability to handle the situation adroitly. With appreciation.

I think I would have been upset because he didn't call me to say he decided to buy it now instead of waiting a few days. That is the least he should have done being your husband. That would have been the right thing to do I think. Regardless of the money that will be replaced he should have let you know what he had decided to do instead of going behind your back. I know my boyfriend of 20 years would never go ahead and do something like this without first calling me and saying something like "you know I thought about what you said but I really want to buy it today, so what do you think." That would have been the right thing to do in my opinion.

It's not the end of the world and it could have been a lot worse! But I would still be a little upset. However, it kind of frees you up next time you want to make a purchase! You don't have to obey the "wait on it" disclaimer any more!

Hi Dorann, Well, since you are not mad then better accept the fact that your hubby fell inlove with that bike and really had it. son't stress yourself out. it's really meant for your hubby. how are you today? i hope you're happy seeing your hubby so happy with his new partner. LOL.

I'm thinking he had figured it was okay..and since you were selling the truck he probably thought he wouldn't find another deal like that again? Hmm, not sure what to say here. I think I'd be a little upset if it was me..but he did buy a form of transportation and not some unnecessary thing so it's a hard call-I'd think that he should've called you on a big purchase though-to get an okay or whatever.

For me ask the payroll of there work when time of giving the salary and go to the captain of your town to that issue.

hi dorannmwin oh I think I would go easy on him as he will put the mony back in the bank, I am sort of a softie and your hubby sounds like a hard worker so were I in your shoes I would forgive him, and maybe give him a hug. after all he just jumped ahead a couple of days

Well that would upset me, cause being a couple , both should make a decision together.I feel i am disrespected and ignore when i wasn't consulted in major decisions.Why ?Cause if something goes wrong, i am surely, definitely will be affected and involved. Marriage is a teamwork.The husband is the head of the family the leader of the team, but a good leader always has good relationship with his team. (^_^)

It means nothing to me. That's only minor and not something to have recurring thoughts about. He might have some fear of gap or delay so he bought the bike right away. Sometimes the thought of being prompt and not a lazy man enlightens the mood.

I would probably have my feelings hurt a little because he didn't wait. But heck, what's a few days? I'd let it ride and I wouldn't say it was an "issue". But the next time he calls and asks what you're doing, tell him you're getting a head skint, and you didn't think he would mind if... Then there may be an "issue". Just kidding...

hi dora take it easy my friend, such fight and quarrel between couples is so common, we too fight over money matter, on 5th i got my pension, my wife wanted a saree costing 2000 rupees, i told her, sweety see we are going north india tour on 9th, we can get from there, but she insists... life is not sweet with out minor quarrels.. Thanks for this nice post, cheers God bless you. Prof

I would probably be a bit annoyed. I guess I would try to talk to him about it. That I'm not really mad that he bought it, but that I wished he would have taken my suggestion into consideration. Or at least given me a call before actually making the purchase, to make his case as to why he needed it today. You are married, and that means that you are a team. Everyone should be on the same page before a big decision is made.