She was selling her wedding ring
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18602)
Jamaica
December 11, 2010 9:04pm CST
I attened a fair where several of my friends were selling second hand items. I knew that the prices would be cheap as it was stuff that they wanted to get rid of. But one exception. A Church sister was trying to raise enough money to pay her electricity bill so I wanted to support her.
I stopped at another friend's stall and there and behold, amongst all of her jewelry was her wedding ring for sale. I picked it up and it was inscribed inside.
This friend has money coming out of her eye balls; money cannot finish- multi millionaires and married for over forty years with one son. I knew that they had not been happy for years but had reached some kind of understanding. She can travel the world and he foots the bill. She recently came back from 3 weeks in China. She had her own business and has her own money too.
I went into shock. Her husband was expected to come and how hurt and embarrassed he would be to see the ring he bought and given to his wife on sale? And then so many other friends of theirs saw the ring too.
I told her that we had been friends for over 15 years and so take my advice and remove the ring from the sale. Evidently other people told her the same thing too.
I know we cannot judge a marriage from the outside looking in but her husband I know to be a good man and he was a wonderful friend to my husband and myself. She made the decision to stay and is now in her late 60's. She spends time playing bridge and if she wants jewelry then she picks it out and tells the shop to keep it as her husband will come in and pay for it.
Even if you were unhappy would you disgrace your partner publicly like this?
7 people like this
20 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Dec 10
well maybe you know this man pretty good but i have to say, id have done it if my husband was anything like my step dad had been. my step dad was so nice to the outside world. people loved him but in the house we were the lowest...you know whats. he used me and did bad things to mom but outside he was so nice you'd never believe it. paid for whatever mom wanted because he liked the show off. everyone liked him and never believed anything i said. 
but you could be right. it could be a very bad nasty woman to. 
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
She told me that the marriage was over many years ago but he was never abusive to her in any way. She was bored with him and their son lives in South America and so they see his family just twice a year. she made the lucrative choice to stay and she should not have done this to him. She is supposed to be a Christian and I think it was thoughtless and mean regretfully. I am so sorry that yo9u suffered; I had an abusive childhood too
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
Divorce or being widowed is different.You could sell it if you wanted but chose to give it to one of your children. I gave my engagement ring to my daughter and the diamonds are being used in her wedding ring. The band I still wear as she does not want it at this moment but it will be left for her in my will.
This was a deliberate public act of humiliating her husband. Not a classy thing to do at all
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
12 Dec 10
omg, I certainly would not sell my rings even though we may have problems. If I no longer wished to keep mine I'd give them to one of my children or a grandchild.
I would not do what she did. That would hurt my husband and I would fell so bad.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
Thank you - I agree with you. If she was widowed or divorced the situation would be different. But she is still living with him and they go to functions together. She wants for nothing. She should not have done it. She has shown our community what she thinks of her husband
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
12 Dec 10
I don't quite understand why someone would do this- if the marriage had broken down and lead to divorce then yes of course you would sell it, as profit out of pain is a win! But as she chose to stay with him... That would just be humiliating for him to see the ring he'd put so much effort into when asking her to marry him... For sale!? Shame on her..
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I do not know if he saw it on sale as I left before he arrived. She wears massive diamonds on her ring finger that he bought. But this was her wedding ring - inscribed inside with their names. It was horrible to me
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
12 Dec 10
She uses him merely for his money and then disgraces him in this way?!Horrible! But, what's equally sad is that he is apparently putting up with this for some reason. He may not specifically know about the incident with the ring, but he certainly knows that she is using him. I truly believe that "you teach people how to treat you". Somehow, all of this is "ok" with him.
I would NEVER do this to my husband. Just as women have a need for an emotional bond, men need to be respected and admired by their wives. This is truly a disrespectful act!
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
Her husband is a quiet gentleman who has paid the medical bills of many a sick parishioner. When my husband was sick he put an envelope into my hand and told me not to say anything to anyone. It was one thousand US dollars and this really helped me. She should not have disgraced him this way. She could have left years ago but chose to stay. Her choice. I don't think that t is okay buy hr opts for peace. Many blessings
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
12 Dec 10
Dear friend Cynthie,
I am too naive and inexperienced in a matter like this. Have never been in a relationship of "that kind".
But if I were to speak my mind out I think the woman is at grave fault and she has no right to "use" another human being like that. It would be something like an abuse. An abusive relationship.
Could she finally sell the ring or she listened to your advice?
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I am told that apart from me, other friends spoke to her and told her not to do it. I am just hoping that her husband did not arrive and see the ring on display to be sold. It would have been humiliating for him to see it. Totally low class thing to do. You can have all the money in the world and not have class. You cannot buy class.Blessings
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
16 Jan 11
I have been around people who have shamed their spouse one way or another. In the end they are the ones who end up being ashamed and looked down upon. So even if I was not thrilled with my marriage, I would have enough pride not to shame my mate and myself at the same time.
@ChampagneGiggles (699)
• United States
12 Dec 10
putting the ring up for sale was definitely an unwise choice. I personally wouldn't have done it. But I don't necessarily think it was a public humiliation. You have an idea of the situation, and you frown on her not her husband. So I don't think the husband will be publicly viewed as disgraced. And the sale was for an excellent cause. So worst case, the ring gets sold, a woman can pay her light bill, and the whole town knows the lack of honor and loyalty of the woman who sold the ring. The only one "hurt" would be the woman who sold the ring. Not as bad as it could be.
@ChampagneGiggles (699)
• United States
15 Dec 10
But were the proceeds of the ring to go to the woman who needed her bill paid or to the rich one?
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 10
The lady who sold the wedding ring was not the person who needed to make money to pay her light bill. Two different people - one incredibly rich and the other one is really struggling. I am sorry if I confused you
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
12 Dec 10
You know it's not as though it's a worse comes to worse situation for her where she had no choice but to do so. I would rather see her perhaps continue to wear it in some fashion on her finger or around her neck or in the worst leave it in a jewelry box at home. But to sell it you are right is a disgrace and like publically shaming her marriage.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Perhaps it's too modest in styling compared to the diamonds you have mentioned. You know if they had a more humble marriage at first til they became wealthy, people usually buy what they can afford not always what they want. But still she could pass it on to a daughter or grandchild if she has kids that way it would stay in the family.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I have known her for at least 15 years and have never seen her wear this ring. She wears massive diamonds that he bought her. but this is her wedding band and she chose to remain with him for over 40 years - so why publicly humiliate him? She wants for nothing. I have lost respect for her. Other people told her to remove it from the table. I do not know what happened after I left. As you said - leave at home.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
12 Dec 10
He must have hurt her deeply. I would have sold my ex if i could have, lol.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
13 Dec 10
SOUNDS LIKE A BAD SITUATION FOR THEM. i HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY PEOPLE LIKE THAT STAY TOGETER. I think they enjoy tormenting each other & that's bad.When i hear something like this makes me glad it's just me & the dog that live here, lol.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I am told that she hurt him as he caught her with someone else in their house many years ago.
She is interdependently wealthy and need not stay with him. She employs a full time housekeeper and gardener so why stay? I do not think that she should have done this in a small town where we all know each other. I hope that he did not see what she was selling1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
18 Dec 10
That is a low thing to do! To be honest even if my husband had done something very hurtful to me I don’t think I could do something like that in public. It was a very manipulative and hurtful gesture and I do wonder how her husband would have reacted had he seen the ring for sale…In my opinion, if one is not happy, try to work it out or walk away but don’t stoop low and behave in such a wounding manner.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
20 Dec 10
I apologise for answering so late. Have been so busy wit work and my sister. I agree with you totally. I still cannot really believe that it happened and there she was in Church sitting next to her husband. I felt sick just looking at her. It has really thrown me into a spin as I never thought that she would do this to her husband
1 person likes this
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
14 Dec 10
I think that is terrible, especially seeing that she wasn't selling it for the money. I could see if she lost everything and had to put food on the table, or a roof over her head, but to sell it just to sell it....no! Also, in a public place, were friends of both are able to see...no! I sometimes wonder what goes through people's heads when they do things like that. Obviously I don't know all the circumstances involving their marriage, but it sounds like she is keeping him around just for his money which is a terrible thing to do.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Dec 10
I think that it is terrible too. She did not have to humiliate him this way and now the whole town knows what she did. I am told that no one bought the ring and plenty of people told her to take it off the table. She will stay with him and never leave him. Now today she has gone to an orphanage to give a treat to the disabled children that our Church supports. It is just so hypocritical. Love and tolerance should be practised in the home too
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Dec 10
I don't think that there could ever be anything in my life that could cause me to air my dirty laundry in public like that. I think it would have been one thing were it a situation where there would be no one that I knew. However, knowing that all of my friends were going to be there, I know I wouldn't be able to do it at all. The only way that I could fathom getting rid of my wedding band if I wasn't happy in my marriage would be to either give it back to my husband or to sell it at a pawn shop where I was somewhat anonymous.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
15 Dec 10
It was a Church fund raising mostly. Although people had rented other tables to sell things. Her husband had helped her transport the stuff down and he would be there after me to support the people selling. I do hope that he did not see his ring up for sale. This was a disgusting thing to do. Total lack of class
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
15 Dec 10
Relationship or not, I always feel that I don't have the right to disgrace or disrespect anybody.
Much less, publicly.
So, if I also saw that ring in that fair, I would also be surprised. And if I also knew her, I would have advised her the same thing.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
12 Dec 10
I think that would be terrible to sell or try to sell a wedding ring. A wedding ring should be kept especially if the couple are still in a relationship. If they are divorced the ring could be put in a jewelry box. It would be something old and be worth remembering. The lady's husband would be ever so hurt if he knew she tried to sell her wedding ring. Looking at a particular couple it might be hard to see how happy they are in their relationship. Even if I unhappy I wouldn't disgrace my partner like that.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I so agree with you. She is not in need of money and was selling for a Church charity. I was so disgusted by her action. Many other friends told her plainly not to do it as well. I do not know if she did sell it. But I hope her husband did not see it on her table
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
total lack of class. Now the whole of our Town knows what she publicly did to humiliate her husband. I have known her for so long and this is the pits to which she has fallen too.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Hi Cynthiann,
No, I really can't imagine it even crossing my mind to sell my wedding ring at a rummage sale to begin with and I had a horrible marriage. It wouldn't even occur to me occur to me to do that after the marriage had ended. She is still married to him and that's just disrespectful.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 10
I could understand if she was divorced and in need of money. But she has no intention of leaving him - ever. I hope that I am wrong but I think that this was a deliberate act to humiliate him. She is a pillar of strength in our Church but should show respect to her husband. She recently went to Shanghai to shop with two GF's and she told me that after all expenses she allowed herself US$10,000 to spend!!!! I have lost so much respect for her and we have been friends for over 15 years.
@kumargulshan (20)
• India
12 Dec 10
marriage ring is priceless item for an wife from his husband.A wife should save his husband's gift as it is only thing that make presence of her husband.i would suggest her to not to sell it publically, but if she really need some money and she think that her husband can pay the debt she can give it as security to take some money from his known. but would never ever sell it.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
She does not need the money - she is very rich and should not embarrass her husband in this way.
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
12 Dec 10
It is sad that she feels this way about the marriage. I do not think it is right for her to do this to her husband. I do agree with another poster that one never knows what goes on behind closed doors. Just because she gets to travel, has a business and all of the other things does not mean that he is the greatest man on earth. I understand not wanting the fellow to feel embarrassed but you really do not know what goes on with them in private. Perhaps there is a reason that she feels so bitter toward him. He might seem perfect to you but you do not have to live with him. I would stay out of it.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I am staying out of it and have stayed out of it for over 15 years. She has outgrown him - she told me that he is boring and has never abused her in any way at all. She said she made a mistake in marrying him and chose to stay. I did tell her not to humiliate him in public and other friends told her the same thing. She should not have done it to him, especially with him coming to the sale.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
Hello,
I couldn't imagine why she has to do that.
If she doesn't like to wear the ring,she can keep it,or give to her son,and asks her son to keep the ring for her (i am sure her son will understand about it)
But to sell the ring in public,(can't find the right word to say) that's really sad.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
12 Dec 10
I was disgusted. Worse than sad - totally without class. She does not have to stay in the marriage. She should not have done it to her husband
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