I wish the strangers won't touch my baby...

@mermaidivy (15412)
United States
April 19, 2011 2:07pm CST
Since my son now is bigger and doesn't stay asleep when I'm out all the time, I open his cover and let him look around when I take him out to the stores. People usually like to look at him and make him smile, I don't mind that at all until they touch him... it has happened a lot lately just like when I was waiting to pay in line today, a lady just came straight to touch his toes, I was not happy about that. The other time, when we were at the restaurant, the waitress got so close to him(leaning on the chair that I was sitting on and touched my son... Of course, I don't like it, I thought that is not nice but what response should I give? I don't want to be like Oh NO DON't touch my baby!! So what would you do if you were me? From what I noticed, it seems like for people who does that usually is not a mom or old timers, I guess for people who isnot mom doesn't understand it and the old timers think they have the right to do so. What do you think? What would you do in this kind of situation with your baby? Has it ever happend to you and your baby?
5 people like this
26 responses
@smileonstar (4013)
• United States
19 Apr 11
sometimes, ppl see your son is so cute and didn't think how you feel. well, if u dont like it then you should tell them what you dont like cuz he is ur baby... and you have right to tell. for example, oh... he is not well and he doesn't like to being touch... oh!!! He doesn't like stranger.
2 people like this
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
19 Apr 11
I said it once that he is sick, I don't think you want to get that close to him. Then the person backed up immediately, I guess that was a good one.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
21 Apr 11
I am surprised and try to find a reason why you do not want people to touch your baby. Many people are attracted to babies, especially chubby ones. I personally like babies and like to touch them on the head and hold their fingers if they do extend their hand to me.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Not strangers.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 11
whyaskq how about because she does not want a n unknown person to leave his or her germs and bacteria on her precious baby.that I can well understand.after all the person wanting to do the touching is not thinking of the baby's welfare but their own desire to touch.That is selfishness on the part of the stranger.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
22 Apr 11
A lot of people is not been in family stage might not understand this. They think it is okay to touch the baby just because they are cute but they don't think about whether the mom likes it and besides, who knows what if the person just touch before he touches the baby.
• United States
20 Apr 11
It is your son, So you have final say. People just figure babies are so adorable and cant help themselves. I am sure the people who touched the little babies toes meant nothing by it, The best thing you can do is get a stroller with one of those nets that goes on top of the stroller so people can look but not touch. Not to mention, Who knows if the people hands are clean and babies are more susceptible to picking up germs.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
It is getting warmer so I don't want him to be covered. I think I will say something if it happens again.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
hello ivy, This is also my fear when my kids are babies. I can't say opppss...NO ,don't touch my baby please (ugh!) But what to do,people admire cute babies..and they seems to treat babies like toys that they can just touch,press or giggle with. Just be on guard...maybe that person is having colds or cough
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
19 Apr 11
That's right... I wsh people has the sense of that.
• United States
19 Apr 11
Gosh yes happened all the time when my children were little. The way I saw it is that I did not allow close known people to grab my baby when they were little so I did not see why I would let strangers do so. I actually remember saying; oh I do appreciate you admiring my baby but I have this thing where I don't like strangers touching my baby, sorry about that. The way I saw it is that had they been parents they will completely understand and actually if they were parents they would know not to. I don't remember having problems with people by saying that but then my baby was the priority so I did not feel weird about it. Hopefully they understood because I am sure if I approached theirs they would not like it either.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
19 Apr 11
I think that would be a polite way to say it but for the people who touches might think more than that.
@Kirinx (1693)
• United States
24 Apr 11
hehe im mean but one thing you can do as a joke is put a large sign on your baby's stroller that say's "Touch the baby and DIE " I bet you people wont want to touch then I dont have any children but if i did i would put that sign up :P I can understand you not wanting others to touch your precious baby.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I was thinking about putting a sign on the stroller yes, it should work. thinking about what I shoudl write on the sign that would be nice and not offend people.
@Kirinx (1693)
• United States
25 Apr 11
yup that and maybe some type of alarm.you will be amazed at the weird stuff they have on the internet.
@Kirinx (1693)
• United States
25 Apr 11
oh yea i thought i would share this with you but I remember one time with my older sister's baby that some lady was trying to pinch the baby's cheek and the baby slapped the lady. She was about 2 years old if i recall right but it makes me laugh whenever i think about it.
@rafiholmes (2897)
• Malaysia
20 Apr 11
well theres several way u can tell people not to touch ur baby without offending them..like the straight HEY DONTTOUCH!! 1. please dont touch him,i just put alergic lotion all over his body 2. dont touch himm,he has sensetive skin reaction..sorry.. 3, no..hehe only me can touch him.u gotta wait for your turn ,next year.. 4. he hates old timer..dont touch.. - lol ok..forget about no.4..was kidding.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
haha the last one made me laugh
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
very funny
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 11
ha ha old timers are funny? no no this old timer is not someone to laugh at. look we older people are still human beings, we do have feelings and sometimes I thinks kids are funny ha ha ha but I do not say kids and young people are funny as they have feelings too.its not very funny to me at all. Iam 85 and if you live long enough y ou too will not think it funny ha ha to be an old lady ha ha, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 11
hi mermaidivy too many people just do not have good common sense when it comes to cute but strange baby. Even back when I had my two in strollers some old people and some single women would touch my babies and I had to say please they are not toes. this always stopped them. Why cannot people understand they are not pet kitties or puppies. Do not touch a live baby thats a stranger to you. they are not toys.Not all older people are that stupid . most of us would not think to touch a baby that is not related to us.tell old women and unmarried women my baby in not a toy or plaything. please do not touch.this is not rude and people will heed usually.After all you are the mom and good moms protect their babies from viruses and bacteria, Also you can say my baby is not a toy.
@Hatley (164451)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Apr 11
darned typo I meant to say they are not toys. darn.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
22 Apr 11
One of the time, I gave a woman a look but she didn't back off and still touched his toes then I covered him up and said I think he wants to go to sleep. I remember when I didn't have my own baby, I didn't want to touch other baby because I knew the parents won't like a stranger to touch them, I wish people thinks about that.
@Kirinx (1693)
• United States
24 Apr 11
true but often people dont think how you would feel about something and do it regardless.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
20 Apr 11
This is bound to happen mermaidivy especially when the child is very small, sweet, cuddly and also gives friendly smiles to one and all. We must not object too hard and if you are unsure of the hygiene part of it all, I would suggest you wash his cheek, toe or finger [whatever you feel is likely to get some germs in it].Moreover, you must not take him out too much.As such, the child is vulnerable at this stage and it is better if you are safe. But for the rare occasion, do not bother too much. Just trust in God and the child will be fine.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
20 Apr 11
Do not go to places where the hygiene is questionable.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
21 Apr 11
I don't want to keep him in the house and see the outside though. I understand he will touch this and that once he figure out he can do that but I just hate the ideas of strangers touching him, I won't even like strangerstouching me so not my child either.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
22 Apr 11
I agree with what you say and I too would not feel comfortable if a stranger does it. But, soon he will grow up.Do not worry ; by then his powers of resistance would also go up.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
22 Apr 11
LOL! I'd get a onesie or tshirt for the baby that said 'if you touch me, my mommy will EAT YOU'. Ok I'm kidding.. but just partially. I didn't like that either when my daughter was an infant! I would either carry her on my front in a snugli carrier - people generally don't go reaching in around a new mom's BOOBS to touch her baby, that is technically quite frowned on. If she was in her infant carrier, I usually put a light receiving blanket over the top to shield her from strangers and prying eyes (and hands). She got kinda squirmy when she was a bigger baby, so that didn't always work because she'd pull it off, but I found if I could keep myself inbetween her and curious people, they'd just LOOK rather than touch. She's 7 years old now so if someone gets in her personal space and she doesn't like it, you'll know, she'll TELL you.
@Kirinx (1693)
• United States
24 Apr 11
LOL thats cute "if you touch me my mommy will Eat you" I would love to see a baby wearing that shirt
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
25 Apr 11
That's a good idea! I will definitely buy that onesies with that statement on so people will back off hehe. I think it is better when I put him in the cart because he is right in front me but when he is in the stroller without being cover so he is lower and farer from me, so people coudl get closer.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
20 Apr 11
I dont touch other peoples kids. I like to admire from afar. I saw once at a walmart store somebody had a "dont touch the baby" sign hanging on the carrier. I understand the parents concerns. Personally i dont get close or touch people when iam sick or when i notice others sick. I recently was sick for the first time since 2007. Somebody at church i asked her how are you and she came and gave me a hug and said "I think im coming down with something". Within 7 days i was sick. Thanks sister. I dont understand why she would do that. I would warn somebody trying to hug me. Im not a huggy person anyway. You might try the "Dont touch the baby" sign.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
haha really? That sure will work and probably people won't even get too close to look at the baby.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
20 Apr 11
You certianly have the right to protect your baby.
@rinakitto (111)
• United States
20 Apr 11
I can totally understand your situation. Since my younger brother was born 5 years ago when I was 12, whenever I am with him, they always say "Aw, you're son is so cute!" and then they would start to do something like pinch his cheeks. Okay, he's cute, but can you ask for my permission, especially since you think I am the mom? But usually, I will only say "I'm his sister." It's hard to act polite and also get a point across!
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
People gets easily offended if you say NO to them but they just don't understand...
• United States
26 Apr 11
Some people truly won't understand.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
20 Apr 11
There is an easy way around this problem. Get a small piece of mosquito netting and fasten it around the Baby Basket or Buggy. People will suppose its for protection from insects, but it will also stop them from touching your baby!
@thesids (22351)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Apr 11
Hi barehugs This was exactly what I wanted to write here. This is the best, polite way here.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Like the door screen kind? I want to get that as well for the bug seson, I will keep an eye for that, thank you!
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
24 Apr 11
Hi. mermaidivy. I have been through the same thing too. I have felt the same exact way that you have felt as well too. It has happened to me and I usually don't know what to say as well. Many women especially, have caught me off of guard because they have wanted to touch my baby before. I don't like this. I guess that is why I was so protective of my son when he was born. I hardly wanted anyone around me at all. I wanted to be alone and be to myself. I kept my babies in the house until they were mature enough to be out into the public. I wanted as much of time with them as possible. I did not like for my mother-in-law to touch my babies because she did not wash her her hands at all. Every time that my sister-in-law would hold my kids, her hands were always clean. If I don't say anything to a person that touches my baby, you best believe that they will know that I am uncomfortable with them always touching my baby.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
25 Apr 11
I was exactly like you!! I just wanted to be with my baby alone when he was newborn, I didn't want anybody to touch him, I got very upset when we had to go to parties when everybody would see him and hold him; I didn't like my mother in law to hold him either because she would get so close to him. But nobody would understand me and thought I was being too protective of my son... I am getting better these days, I still don't like anybody get too close to him other than my husband and I or my family. I don't mind taking him out to the publc at all but no touching by strangers please. I wish people gave us some break when he was born but I got through it finally.
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
21 Apr 11
I have never looked at it this way, I am glad you brought this up because I am guilty of this. I see little babies and they are so sweet and precious I just have to touch them. Now I will stop and thind before I do it. I will just stand back and observe them or speak to them. I have had little ones look at me in the stores and speak or just start gooing and gaa ga-a-ing to me. If I was in your shoes I wouldn't know how to handle that either without being rude or offending the person. Good luck and God Bless you in finding the correct way of handling this.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
21 Apr 11
It will be better. A lot of the time people wants to talk to him and make him smile, it is perfectly fine because baby is cute but no touching, I'm glad you understand this, the moms will appreciate it much better
@thatgirl13 (7306)
• South Korea
21 Apr 11
Actually when I see small kids and if I feel they're really cute, I wanna touch them too. But I don't coz I think I'll just offend them. So if the mothers tell the kids to talk to me, then I go and touch them and make them smile and stuffs. But without the mom's permission, I just look at them.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
21 Apr 11
I think looking and talking to the baby as soon as the people doesn't get very very close or touch them because I konw everybody likes baby, they like to see the baby's smiles.
@coolcoder (2020)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Personally, I think that it's very rude for people to just come up and touch a baby like that. Don't be afraid to say something (politely) to people--young or old--who want to do so if you don't want them touching your child. You're the parent; you have the right.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Even it is not right to just touch people for no reason, right, I thinkit is very rude.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
20 Apr 11
Hi.. I asked my Mom about this! She said its really not good for strangers to touch a baby they don't know! I asked Mom, why not? She answered we don't know those people! We don't know they might have black magics or something like that! They might have spells! Here in Philippines, most people are so superstitious believers! But we won't lost anything if we will believe about these superstitious beliefs! ... When my little sister was still a baby and when we go out like malling, my mom used to put a piece of garlic under my baby sister's clothes to avoid those black magics/spells! haha!
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
haha I never heard of that but it sounds like some superstitious thing.
• United States
20 Apr 11
You have touched on something that is very wrong with people, they feel they have a right to be affectionate to a child no matter what relation it is to them. When my son was young I would only let close friends and family touch him. This is something where you are allowed to say, "please don't touch my child (son/daughter) I don't feel comfortable with strangers touching my baby." Like you said, normally people without children feel the need to do this. Those that are parents ask the normal questions, have a small chat about our own child, then move on. Don't be afraid to be rude under this circumstance.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
I welcome the conversation but not so much the touching. I will say something next timeif it happens again.
• United States
20 Apr 11
I understand that you feel protective of your baby. People that you don't know or have recently just met should not touch your baby without asking. You don't know if they have washed their hands or if they have been handling products like cleaning chemicals. What if that waitress had just been handling hot peppers, for instance. Something that might make you feel a little better is that baby's should not be completely protected from contact with the world. They need to build up their immune system, so in some cases touching helps them become stronger. Also, I think that people wanting to touch and play with babies is part of our natural instinct to care for children. I personally love it when I put my finger in the hand of a baby and the cute little tot grabs it. It is also cute when a baby grabs my beard or glasses out of curiousity. So before you respond to a toucher with too much anger, remember that your baby is probably bringing out the best in a person. So go easy on them. Perhaps just say, "I'm sorry but I don't let people touch my baby until I know them better." Or perhaps, "No please...my baby was sick recently. Please don't touch." And remember, it won't be long before your baby is touching everything and getting dirty. Soon, you could be the one other people are looking at wondering why you let your baby touch them with filthy hands. Your kindness now might be repaid later.
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
20 Apr 11
I think taking him out to the public is good enough for strengthening his immune system and he touches everything in the house and we have a doggy which helps as well. I won't like a random strangers put a hand onme either so so does my baby. I understand baby is cute and people wants to touch it but it is just not a good manner to comeup and have a skin touch no matter to a baby or not.