When will it end?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
United States
June 5, 2011 11:42am CST
I've been having a string of bad luck lately. Seems anything that could go wrong, is going wrong right now!
It started on Monday when my boys' bedroom floor caved in.. most likely from water damage. I guess the roof needs to be replaced.. and obviously the floor too. I don't have that kind of money, and I don't really want to put any money into this little sh*t hole because no matter what we're not planning on living here much longer.
On Wednesday things got worse. I worked an 8 hour shift and came home to find the office's maintanence truck parked in hubby's spot (which still hasn't moved BTW).. and I had hubby's car. So, I parked in the road.. and the neighbor across the way starts ranting and raving at me about how I'm parked.. as if I needed to deal with that after a long day at work. It had me real shaken up and just made me want to leave this place that much faster.
Well we don't have many options when it comes to moving out. At this time we can't afford much more for rent than we're currently paying.. and most places want practically double what we're currently paying. Plus it's not easy to find rental properties these days that allow pets and I refuse to get rid of my cats! So, we started talking about moving in with FIL again.. which will take a lot of time and effort. His place is a real mess.. it hasn't been cleaned since my MIL died over a year ago.. there's basically a foot of filth covering every surface in the house.. and it smells really bad. I don't even want to step foot in there because the minute I see it I'm going to realize that getting the place cleaned up is impossible. But right now I just don't see any other options. I can't really afford to stay here anymore due to all the problems this place has.
On top of all this stress going on.. I'm also dealing with the fact that the kids aren't behaving for FIL when he babysits them so I can work. It's getting to the point where I feel like I'll have to quit soon because FIL can't handle it and the kids refuse to behave for them. I already deal with enough stress at work between rude customers, heavy work loads, and co-workers who want to act like immature brats.. I don't really need any other reasons to want to quit. I need this job.. we need the money and I had goals.. my main goal was to keep this job until graduation so that when I begin searching for my career I'd have long term employment to show for on my resume as well as a good reference. Quitting now after less than 6 months doesn't help me reach that goal!
I'm also dealing with stress from school.. one of my teachers keeps giving me really low grades on my assignments (even though I get high grades on the same assignments in my other classes) so because of this I'll probably lose my 4.0 GPA already, and that is depressing me a bit.
Well, the icing on the cake came today when I woke up and turned on my computer. Instead of loading Windows like it usually does, a box popped up saying there were some sort of errors.. basically, it's some type of virus that may or may not have destroyed my computer. Hubby is trying to fix it without wiping all my important documents from the computer.. but if he can't succeed then I lose everything.. including all my school work since I wasn't smart enough to make copies of any of it. There is one essay I've been working on all semester because it's due in just a couple weeks.. I've already written 4 pages of it, and it counts for the majority of my grade in one of my classes. If it's gone, not only do I lose all the work I've already done on it, but I also lose all the references used in the research. I've spent hours on that paper.. writing and researching.
Right now it just sort of feels like the universe is out to get me. All week long I've been saying I don't think I can handle any more stress.. and each day the stress gets worse and worse. I really don't know what to do.. I'm so depressed and angry at everything right now.
Ultimately I know that eventually everything will work out and be okay again.. but right now I need this sh*t to stop piling up on me! Give me one obstacle at a time.. not everything all at once!! I've been half way between screaming and crying all week long.. I think I'm having a mental breakdown or something. Yesterday my hands and arms went numb and my chest started hurting from all this stress.. I honestly cannot handle anymore!
What do you do when life throws too much at you all at once?
2 people like this
12 responses
@locakai (166)
• United States
5 Jun 11
You to uh? Well the universe and I aren't getting along either. Everything been wrong since I quit my job to focus on school. After that my hubby lost his job. We didn't have food for like a month. We had to put a loan out on the car to pay electric and my phone. Then we put another loan on the truck to pay half on the car and my school. Rent hasn't been paid in two months. On the first of the month my hubby got assaulted right outside by my front door. Electric is about to be shut off, we got food. When we got food, we ran out of dog food, which sucks. And I been praying, and praying. Now, I'm looking for a part time job, and no one calls me back for an interview. If I don't come up with almost 5oo$ soon then I loose everything, I own. Its sad, I even got an associate degree, yet no one want to hire me. I need help, but my friends, and family are having a hard time to.
When your kids see you stress they will try out your patience. I been keeping my head up, positive thoughts, and praying. I take one day at a time. Have a family meeting and discuss things, worry with your family. Tell your kids that its hard on everyone right now. When you get home have everyone take a 20 minute quite day...that means everyone sits in the living room, and stays quite, relaxed, and after the 20 minutes, have everyone pitch in with something for dinner.
First above all else, be positive. I always been negative, I am not going to lie, then when I decide to be positive, the universe decides that I just need bad luck. Wake up in a good mood, yeh may have some bad points, but try writing in a journal, keep it very close, carry with you everywhere, if you see something that is beautiful, write it out. Write before you go to bed everything, keep affirmations in it. With you MIL place, rest her soul, I pray for your family about the loss of her. The kids probably act out because they probably don't understand and are going through grief. Go up there with your hubby and kids one day a week and start with the back rooms and work your way up. I may not have your stress, I don't know how it is, but I do have understanding. I do hope, pray, and send love for you. I do hope everything turns out for the better for you.
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Hi, welcome to Mylot. I am so sorry you are having a hard time as well. I like your emphasis on being positive, however. I sure wish we could go in groups to help each other out, but it is really not possible, other than with kind thoughts and prayers and words. Have a great day, I sure hope someone gives you a job soon.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
10 Jun 11
It's been a few days since you posted this discussion, and I haven't seen your recent posts yet, but I do hope that you're a bit OK by now.
I won't attempt to comprehend to all the trouble you're going through, as I'm sure I wouldn't understand it, but I just hope you hanged in there until you get to a place of respit. I know that you were working on getting your finances in order, so I'd hate for this setback to throw you off course.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Unfortunately you can't do what I do, I just crawl into bed cover my head and wish it all away..doesn't work though. My husband was diagnosed with Cancer in may and they will have to remove up to 60% of his face to get all the cancer out. He hasn't worked since February and it has been really tough making ends meet from month to month..If not for my family..We'd never made it this far. My hubs has 6 different appointments in UK of Lexington KY before his surgery on June 28. It cost $40 copay per appointment and plus the cost of going. He is talking about not doing it since we have no money. His old boss still owes him from work he did in February. It ticks me off that he can't get his pay even though his old boss knows he needs it. I tried a chipin since a friend suggested it. Didn't work... I'm trying to make what little I can here and there but it is never enough.. and he will not be able to work up to a year after. We have no insurance of any kind. No medical cards. Nothing.. He was told if he didn't have this surgery..he only had less then 3 years if that depending on the cancer and how fast it eats..So right now we are living on prayers..that all..when your down..and things are piling on..I guess the best thing to do is pray.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Well now my problems don't seem so bad. We're all still healthy, as far as I know!
That must be horrible to deal with.. not only the worry over him, if he'll be okay etc, but also the worry over the finances and how you'll afford all this on top of affording to just survive!
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
6 Jun 11
Is there any small, immediate thing that you can do to make your life better or to make you feel better?
Sometimes I take a walk, or find a small way to make a bit of money (more to throw at the debt) or something just so that I can feel like I have a bit of breathing space.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Jun 11
If there were I would have done it.. I'm not the type who just sits back and moans about my problems. I try to solve them!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Sit down and cry....when I had all the kids here and things went really bad it was on a Sunday...and I dropped them off for Sunday school I sat in my car and thought....they would be better off without me. If I had a car accident the insurance money would have taken very good care of them...so I planned to leave them at church and then take my car someplace and have an accident from which I would never come back....well I sat in my car in front of the church and suddenly the 23rd Psalms came to mind....and said it over and over as I cried...after that I went home and started dinner for the kids.....and felt much much better...those thought have never crossed my mind again!
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
5 Jun 11
I hope hubby can fix your computer and you didn't loose all your work. I just sent you an e-mail, not that it's much cosolation to everything that's going on. I wish there was a magic wand to atleast make the difficult things, the costly things go away for us. ((hugs))
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Funny.. I've often daydreamed of having the power of snapping my fingers to get whatever I want. This week I've envisioned snapping my fingers and that maintanence truck magically starts rolling out of the driveway into the house across the way.. which is where the lady lives who yelled at me. 2 birds with one stone.. lol. Of course if I had that sort of power I wouldn't live here.. I'd just snap my fingers and be a millionaire with my dream home!
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
9 Jun 11
I hate it when everything happens at once. Hopefully things are settling down for you. If it throws me too much, I usually just take a day and do nothing but relax and then get going on fixing what I can or at least working on things. Good luck to you.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
6 Jun 11
After reading this post I sat here for a few minutes thinking about where to even start responding. You really do have so much going on in your life right now and I am sure the stress is overwhelming. I don't know how you handle all the stress. I would have probably totally had a breakdown by now. You really are a strong person.
I know in my life sometimes it feels like if it is not one thing then it is another. Right now things are not too bad. I am pretty broke this week, but I got all but one of my bills paid. When payday comes around at the middle of the month things will be better.
Have you talked to the kids about how their behavior is affecting things? I know the older three are old enough to understand. The last thing you need right now is your FIL deciding that he will not watch the kids for you at all. I also would hate for it to affect him even wanting or being willing to let you guys move into his house.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Trust me.. I think I have been having a breakdown this week. I almost melted into tears at work the other day because just before I had left I was told by my oldest that FIL may have hit the house across from us with my van on one of the nights I left it with him so he could take the kids to his house after dinner to play. After talking with hubby later I realized there probably wasn't much truth in that because there's no damage to the house, their landscaping, or my van (plus if it had been true either the owners of the house or our landlord would have come to talk to me about it).. but still it caused a few hours of panic.. (because the house he supposedly hit would have been the one owned by the woman who screamed at me just the night before).
Everyday it's been something new this week.. seriously. Either bad news or a quick scare which later turned into nothing but the original scare still left it's mark.. there has not been a single uneventful day since last Sunday.. but of course all last week it was in the 90's so our house was actually in the 200's.. it's like a sauna in here!
I have had talks with the kids.. and it seems each week it's a different one being a jerk. Before this week it was my daughter being over dramatic and loud and obnoxious. Now it's my son just being a jerk to his siblings. We talked to them before about what my job means to all of us.. because of working I was able to afford to send them off to camp for a week this summer.. something I've been wanting for them all their lives pretty much. We went to visit the camp on Saturday and they're really excited about some of the stuff they'll get to do like sailing and water skiing and kayaking etc. They know that none of this would be possible without my job. They know without my job we can't afford to sign them up for their sports.. it was my job that paid for my 8 year old to get into baseball this season, and for my daughter to get into baton which allowed her to walk in the Memorial day parade.
So they know.. but when I leave they still refuse to behave. He has no control over them and they know it.. they take full advantage of it and attempt to get away with murder. Some days are better than others.. it seems as if I need to have these talks with them on a daily basis to keep them behaved. I mean, they aren't always perfect for me either and I have my days where I feel like I can't handle them either.. they're just kids and as you know kids will be kids.. but my FIL is too old to deal with that sort of BS. Unfortunately I just don't have any other affordable child care option at the moment.
My current plan.. if I'm allowed to stay on my current path.. is to start looking for a day job once they're back in school this fall. At that time I'll only have 1 home, and 4 in school full day.. so child care won't be as expensive. Then I will continue to work my current job, but only 1 or 2 nights a week.. probably when hubby is home so I would not need FIL to watch them anymore.
So we all just need to survive the summer..
@frankiecesca (2489)
•
7 Jun 11
It is such a nightmare when you're having one of those days, weeks or even months or bad luck and crappy things happen but, hopefully things will get better sooner rather than later for you.
I will keep my fingers crossed that it all does work out ok! : )
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
5 Jun 11
i feel for you and have been there. hopefully it will clear up soon. you know if it will help, id tell you all about how lucky you are to have a place to move to. my daughter in florida has rent due but her car blew up so ses going to have to put it on that. she has no family there so she dont know where shes going to go if they throw her out except in the car. i have no money to send her. so problems are hitting her to. i wish she had a FIL to move in with but she doesnt since she left her husband over abuse, then had no place to take her kids at that time so she lost them to him. 
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Jun 11
That's very sad.. I'm sure she will get through it.. as will I.. it will just take some time.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
You need this 
and lots of hugs kats. I have been there, and just a few weeks ago i was at that place to..and at times when the fall is falling down on you..all you can do right away is..BREATH first and take things one a time. Because from what i have learned, when i try to think of it all.. i will go crazy instead i deal with them one by one. Hope you get to sort things out and soon it will be over...take it all out here, we do not mind as long as you do not bury all of those stress inside you. Hope all will be well soon kats
and lots of hugs kats. I have been there, and just a few weeks ago i was at that place to..and at times when the fall is falling down on you..all you can do right away is..BREATH first and take things one a time. Because from what i have learned, when i try to think of it all.. i will go crazy instead i deal with them one by one. Hope you get to sort things out and soon it will be over...take it all out here, we do not mind as long as you do not bury all of those stress inside you. Hope all will be well soon kats @JamieHenriques (200)
•
5 Jun 11
I feel so sorry for you. It's a matter of keeping cool evetually things will calm down and lady luck will shine on you. HAng in there.
