How do you feel about people who are to friendly?

@Awinds (2475)
United States
July 14, 2011 8:58pm CST
You know the type. You're sitting there in the doctor's office reading a magazine when the overly friendly guy or gal comes over. Within five minutes you have their full name and half of their life's story. By the end of half an hour you could write a biography on them. They may also pry you for details on you and your personal life. They might even give you their social security number if you asked. Sometimes they talk so much you don't have much time to add to the conversation. How do you feel about people who are complete strangers and talking to you at the first meeting with this kind of intimacy? Do you find it awkward or even creepy? Or do you not care and just jump in and chat with them? Do you feel that complete self disclosure is appropriate in the first meeting or un-appropriate?
3 people like this
20 responses
@GemmaR (8527)
15 Jul 11
I think that a lot of people who are like that are trying to make themselves less nervous in whatever situation they're in by talking to the people around them who are obviously in the same, or at least similar, situations to them. I don't really like it when people talk to you when you're waiting for something, as it becomes awkward when you have nothing to say to them at the end of the conversation and you have to sit in silence. It is then even more awkward than when you just weren't talking in the first place.
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
That's true - such openness can lead to an even more awkward situation than before. I like your theory on why they do it - so far everyone has assumed they are just overconfident, but you have a point. They may just be trying to cope with their anxiety.
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
Haven't you heard about Don't talk to strangers? I have experienced such several times and I would always feel awkward that they're spilling their beans on me. However, I do not do the same, I never do. I don't think it's appropriate at any given time to start divulging in a conversation with someone you don't really know. Perhaps they're just phishing for your information and you're giving it to them easily. I never give my full name, perhaps I'd give my first name but never my surname, I just dont't think it's necessary. I guess I would just keep the conversation short and just answer the question at hand but never something too personal. If the person still is insistent on knowing me better, perhaps I would do something to end the conversation - I could lie and say that I'll be going off for a very important agenda I forgot. If they would ask for my number, I probably would just give them my pseudo number (the number that I have that I don't often use). I believe there is always a right time for everything. I don't think that knowing a person for the first time gives the person the right to know about my whole life. I could remember one particular person my boyfriend and I know. He told me that particular person started bad mouthing their co-worker to someone he just met. It was pretty awkward in the end when he found out that the person he was bad mouthing the co worker with was actually good friends with that co-worker. Have a great MyLot experience today!
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Friends with the co-worker, eh? That's a great lesson for loudmouths everywhere! That is a great point to - you don't know just who the person is that you are spilling your life and soul out to. Having a pseudo number sounds like an excellent idea. It enables you to not lie but save yourself at the same time. Happy myLotting!
@CarlHalling (3629)
• United Kingdom
16 Jul 11
This rarely happens to me: I don't know why. I have a strong presence perhaps, and this attracts kindly looks from others; but rarely conversation. I may not look the chatting type. I'm a bit of a loner. And yet I see it go on...folks who may or may not know each other conducting warm conversations in public. Sometimes, someone might exchange a few friendly words with me, and I'm flattered and respond very nicely. But the convos rarely last long. But they can make me feel good inside. That degree of human contact. It can mean a lot to me.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
17 Jul 11
Maybe they find you intimating? That may not nessarily be the case, but the people around you might interpret your strong presence that way.
• United Kingdom
17 Jul 11
Maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe I'm not approachable, but people seem to like me from a distance. They have friendly faces when they look at me. But don't feel inclined to talk. Which is fine.
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
15 Jul 11
Well if they are not too nosy about my personal life, I think it's fine. I do join the conversation and talk about opinions but I would limit it to that. I do not very much like to talk about my personal life with some stranger but if they can't stop talking about theirs, I don't mind
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Well, that's generous! Have you personally had a stranger that gave you a full biography? :)
• South Korea
16 Jul 11
I have met people like that a lot, especially at waiting rooms.
@SIMPLYD (76639)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
I haven't encountered a person who is overly friendly. I myself is a friendly by nature. In such a situation, i would start a conversation about general discussions but not give any information about myself, such as the name etc. I just try to make the waiting bearable if i have read all the magazines therein. so i would start a conversation. As for other friendly people, i just listen to them and maybe put some inputs every now and then.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
What if after finishing their life story they would want (or in cases pressure) you for yours? Would you give it to them or try to steer the conversation in another direction? :)
@SIMPLYD (76639)
• Philippines
16 Jul 11
Perhaps i could share some about me but on a more generalized manner.
@Shellyann36 (8554)
• United States
16 Jul 11
I am one of those people that other people tend to open up to and tell their entire life history to. I am a very good listener. I have had this happen to me often. I am always careful not to share my own information with them but I do listen to them and even prompt them to tell me more if I think they are going to try to get into my business. I worked in the mental health field for a long time so being a good listener was part of my job. As far as it being appropriate or inappropriate that depends on what is being discussed. If a person is going into details that I do not want to hear I will let them know that I am not interested and guide them to other details of the conversation.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
17 Jul 11
Sounds like you make good use of your gift. I suppose it is good that the overly friendly people can have someone to really talk to. :)
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
16 Jul 11
For me it is very good to that way seldom doing it for now and mostly who is happy is Jehovah God it is the sine of true christian.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
17 Jul 11
So Christians should be overly friendly? :)
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
16 Jul 11
I find it very suspicious and be careful about it. There are those who are targetting something and there are lonely people. I think western culture is more likely to begin a conversation with a stranger.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Really? I always considered it more likely in Eastern side of the world. I keep hearing about how unfriendly Americans are from European immigrants. But then again both Europeans and Americans are from the Western side of the world. It's always wise to be careful with strangers. There are just to many scammers and identity thieves out there these days. Thanks for commenting!
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
15 Jul 11
I think they are lonely. Or they are conditioned that way. I'd most likely feel awkward but not creepy.. unless they give that vibe in another way. I don't like to talk so I wouldn't jump in to chat with them. I don't care if people do it, but I probably won't and don't give them the reactions and response they're looking for.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
So you quietly, but politely discourage them away. Sounds better than abrupt, heated reaction. :)
@brew2x (3096)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
I find it awkward and it would be annoying if I'm not really in the mood for chatting. I don't mind strangers talking to me at times about things in general when I'm waiting for something or someone, it helps me not to notice the time but just don't over do it. They shouldn't act as if you are close friends.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
There is indeed a line to be crossed. It's not a good idea to be people repellent, but you don't want to fall into their rambling mouth trap either. Sometimes close is to close.
15 Jul 11
It's definitely awkward but they're usually just lonely. I put on my fake smile and listen, refuse to tell them anything about myself and cut the conversation short when it gets too freaky. But then I'm 6 feet tall and male, so it's less likely they're going to try anything (even though I'm a geeky pacifist... they don't know that!). One or two of those weirdos have turned out to be really nice folks who I now stop and chat with for a good ten minutes whenever I see them and, to be honest, I'm a little bit like this with cashiers and shop staff - I always say hi and ask how they are, just to be friendly. Half of them probably think I'm a mental case.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
So you're both breeds, eh? That's an unusual combination. :D I am sure the cashiers have seen much stranger than you, though. You have a real advantage with your physical build!
@bouncybug (615)
• South Africa
15 Jul 11
I think its because I'm quite shy at first, but I hate it when strangers try to make small talk with me in public places like you're describing! I just don't know why they feel they have to share their life story with absolutely anyone who will listen, its quite disconcerting and I never quite know how to respond! Its definitely inappropriate to blurt out personal things about yourself to a stranger, in my opinion!
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
It gets more awkward the deeper they go! I remember when I was waiting in the restroom once and a lady in one of the stalls started talking about her love life - I mean the barebone details! I left pretty shortly. THAT is definitely inappropriate! And what do you say in those sitatuons besides "this.is.award."
• China
15 Jul 11
its what i felt.i am a calm person,so when i meet this over kind person i always felt worried.i wanna stay alone and think something or reading sth. or just relax a while.then he comes ,with loud voice,high passion and varouis topics.i am disturd.but my impolite tell me i can not express my unhappy.so i must response his passion ..the result is,our talking is going on and on unless the time to leave.i think i am a person who is not good at say "NO",which always bring me to a awkward situation.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
That is difficult. You sound like the kind of person that likes to sit there quietly minding your own business, until Mr. Loud and Inconsiderate Stranger comes around. I understand the difficulty of standing up for yourself and saying no - that is something I struggle with to when I am those situations. :)
@jaiho2009 (39034)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
That's really odd. It's not a natural nature to tell a stranger about their life,almost giving the whole details. We can never even tell if it is true or they are just making some prank to make us believe or what. Well,i will just listen and if given a chance to slip away from that situation i will surely run from that scene. Maybe that's another motive,or tactics to cheat people.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
There was one cashier at the market one day who I had the good fortune to get stuck with. She dived into tales of the town she was born in. She claimed that as a baby she was dropped on her head and was able to see visions of the future every since. She also said that when she was in high school she was kidnapped by Martians and taken to the moon. As you said, they may not be telling the whole truth. And also, with the rising problem of identity theft, it's just not smart to go around giving a full profile to every stranger one sees.
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
It is sometimes creepy because out of nowhere they will talk too much about their lives then ask about you from time to time. But sometimes I find it amazing because they have the courage to talk to strangers. I just think they don't have someone to talk too when they are at home. It is also interesting to talk to strangers at times when I'm in the modd to do so.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Well, you might be lucky enough to run into one who has quite the life. Courage without discipline though can get one into tight spots. :)
@fenshu (56)
• Indonesia
15 Jul 11
LOL, that sound the girl or guys are sales person. after knowing you, they start sales. this kind practice happen a lot in my country. in the end the offer you insurance.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Well that's a bit underhanded! I'll be your friend - ok, now buy my insurance! I suppose though that everyone has to make a living. In my country, the salespeople come right up to your door, launch into their pitch right away and won't let you close the door!
15 Jul 11
hi Awinds. what you are talking about is just like a saleslady in a mall. you're trying to choose which one to buy, and she just follows you around, chattering about this and that.lol. it bugs me, really.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Hi! :) It's also kind of distracting. You are trying to choose the item you like best while she gives a biography and suggestions in the background. At least wait till we get to the cash register to chit chat!
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
Find it very awkward. If that case i don't talk much just nod in respect to a friendly guy. But i am not much type of a person to give details to a stranger like that.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
It's only wise. As noted above, you don't know who that stranger is. Divulging information might come back to haunt you.
@toniganzon (44864)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
I find it really awkward and a bit comfortable. I try to escape sometimes if i find a good opportunity to do so. It's not because i am suspicious that they might have some motive in telling me those things, but i just feel like i don't need to hear those things from a stranger. I have met people on a plane who would talk about their problems and at that time i felt it was okay and i even shared a piece of advice. But if those people have continued on giving specific details and would blurt out everything that i need not know, then i would probably say, i'd like to take a rest for awhile.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
That's a great point - it can depend on the situation. On a plain you are stuck next to that person for several hours. You might as well break the ice. It's good you are willing to help the people when they do open up to you. However, I agree, hearing a life story in full detail is awkward. What are you supposed to say when they tell you about some of there greatest and possibly nastiest mistakes? Akwaaaaaaaard....
• United States
15 Jul 11
I find it really awkward when strangers start a conversation with me and I do not have anything to do with them. But on topic I think that some people could say a hello and tell them your name, no need to go into detail!
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Quite true. Running one's mouth without discretion can really get one in trouble! :)