Less and Less Friends...
By Christoph56
@Christoph56 (1504)
Canada
February 8, 2012 3:00am CST
I'm starting to notice, as I grow older, my group of friends seems to diminish... Out of highschool, it was my core group of about 10 main friends, plus whole other groups of about the same size, which would get together with my group, or we'd just run into eachother... then there were bunches of people I knew all over the place, and would consider friends as well...
Nowadays, I have my special lady, and I have a few friends here and there, but my friends I more see just 1 on 1, going out to lunch or coffee here and there. Once in a while, maybe once every few months, there's some sort of party where I see a bunch of them... but I used to be doing that kind of thing all the time... at least once a week...
Is it going to keep going this way? Will I be getting to know people less and less over time, and end up just having friends here and there? Maybe run into them on the street and say Hi every once in a while? I have a real feeling it'll go this way...
So, what can I do to get closer with friends, or to get new groups? I have some great work, but it's mostly solo, so I hardly ever see other people through work. How can I be meeting and hanging out with more people?
3 people like this
12 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
8 Feb 12
I think as we get older this is quite normal, I think sometimes too many friends in your life when in a relationship can complicate things.
@queen_ra45 (84)
• United States
10 Feb 12
I think as we get older life in general makes it harder to stay closer to friends. I was the same way in school, I had friends from school and outside of school as well as friends from the sports I played. Now I have 2 kids, a spouse, family and a job that take up most of my time. I also just left a city I had spent 10 years in so my closest friends are hundreds of miles away. I have some new friends and when I have time we go to lunch or a movie here and there. I notice my sister has a close group of girlfriends and they make it a point to get together for every holiday, birthday and special occasion or otherwise meet one on one or in a small group when they can. It works well for them and they seem like a tight knit crew. Friends are people who don't need all of your attention all of the time and understand that life gets hectic, we just have to make time when we can and be a support system when we need each other.
@sylvia13 (1850)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
9 Feb 12
It's very true, the older one gets, the less friends one has! School was a good source, but also past neighbors, work colleagues and even relatives of friends and past colleagues! Treasure your friends, as they are not easy to get!
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I think this happens to everyone. As you age and your life changes, so do your priorities. People get married and have kids, a house and different lives. A lot of people see their spouse as their best friend. That is not to say that some older friends won't still be there. The people who are your good and close friends, will keep in touch no matter what!
@aghiuta (525)
• Canada
9 Feb 12
I call this "natural selection",the older we get,we tend to keep only the real friends.Less of those unfortunately,and more of acquaintances.People get busy with their life,their extended families and obligations,in one word,Life intervenes!As to making new groups or friends, it is much harder ,the older we get!People are more set in their way,and not as ready to open up as in their younger days.They are more cautious,and careful and not so trusting.Sad but true!
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
9 Feb 12
Yeah, like what everyone said, it's quite normal. I am only in touch with one person from my school days today; but I really cherish the friendship. I met new people through work or family, and just become friends with few of them who matter. I suppose it's kinda like posting here, it's quality that matter, not quantity.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
8 Feb 12
As you get older you find that you hang out with those friends who are true friends...you take time to spend your time with just the special people whom you truly enjoy. I don't have alot of friends either....but the ones I have are forever friends.
@sakerxfalcon (109)
• United States
8 Feb 12
I've never had many friends off the computer because I have trust issues...
My advice is to find friends not by talking, but by observing - I don't mean creepy stalker stuff. Just pay attention to how they act, how they talk, etc, and if you decide they may be good for you / being your friend, perhaps try and talk to them.
Though sometimes the best friends are made through fighting. I've learned that!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
What I notice is that when people get older they really tend to have lesser friends. Unless you are staying close to your relatives, then they can be your good friends plus your family members who will be there for you anytime you wanted. When people have their own life, with their own family - their priorities becomes different. And that is why some just disappears.
@mselin (77)
• India
8 Feb 12
I think this happens to everyone when you get more committed to work or family. We will not be able to find as much time as when we were younger.
As you climb up the ladder of your career, you find that job is more time consuming. Same with family.
You could try to hold a party or something to stay in touch with all your friends.
Of course, social networking sites are an easy solution for all such problems.
@sayo13 (414)
• India
8 Feb 12
I think this happens to everyone of us normally that as the time passes and we grow older we started focussing more on career ,job, family responsibility and other such issues of life to deal with.
we ourselves became more engrossed with our life and by the we realize that that we have grown up and became mature individuals.
people have friends in life but its the little effort that is required from both the sides to maintain a regular contact.if you have such kind of friends that think the same way like you then you can have them most of the time but people tend to feel the other way and like this the life goes on.
you can keep in touch with them through social network sites and all but reduce your expectation from them to hang out and spent enough time like they used to do before.
Sooner or later you will realize all these.
Best Wishes.
@my_OSH (44)
• Austria
8 Feb 12
Dont worry my friend, I've also get the same issues before. But after all settle up (The kids, Family, jobs etc). I've got more and more friends to keep in touch. With the social networking sites I can retrieve my very-very long lost friend...
