Forgive and forget? or forgive but never forget??

@cyclopz (199)
Philippines
February 28, 2012 8:08am CST
People usually say, it is always better to forgive and forget when someone hurts you. I mean in life we usually go through lots of things and sometimes we have good experiences and other times bad experiences from other people. Well, i think it is just right if we would be forgiving those who did us wrong but do we have to froget about it? I think what we have gone through would just become a part of our experience and we should take it as a learning experience. As people usually say, we should always learn from our experience. How could we learn if we would just be forgetting about what we have experieced. I say lets forgive others for what they have done and learn from that experience. What can you say about this? Would you rather forgive and forget or forgive but never forget? Thanks for sharing guys and happy mylotting. :)
6 people like this
20 responses
@Metatronik (5923)
• Pasay, Philippines
1 Mar 12
In my case I am not that forgiving person and it is hard for me to do that. Because particularly I really want to give justice to myself of the wrong things that happened to me and of course for those people who have done so many wrong things to me. But if not that justice then honestly I am a person who is into revenge. Well that is the bad side about me. I am really into revenge.
• Pasay, Philippines
1 Mar 12
I mean in the first place when I am the one who did the wrong thing to them chances are they tend to judge me and they don't want to give me chance to explain my point and people usually bad mouthed me. So why in the first place should I forgive? No one inspired me to forgive other people it is just I really feel that the world is really unfair on my case.
• Canada
28 Feb 12
I think that forgiving someone and forgetting depends entirely on the situation and how you intensely you feel about it. Sometimes it is not that easy to forgive and it is out of our control to forgive someone if we were really hurt by them. However, in some situations we may forgive but I don't think it is entirely in our control to forget. We may move on in life but we may still remember about that incident. It will be always present in our memory even though it may have moved to the back. We may try to let bygones be bygones but forgetting something entirely is nearly impossible...
• India
29 Feb 12
You are right friend! But you shoul try for call up. I know some times it can not possible. But memory is a thing which you remember then it's come out. If you dont remeber then at a time you will call up the situation.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
5 Mar 12
There are things that I can forgive and forget, but then again there are things that I cannot forget. I think while we can forgive it is hard sometimes to forget. Its part of the experience of friendship to have things hurt us but we need to forgive and forget.
@1hopefulman (32558)
• Canada
3 Mar 12
This is a problematic situation! Would not say it all depends on what is the offense? Let's say someone sexually abused me. Could I just forgive and forget? Could I even forgive? Could I ever forget it? Let's say someone stepped on my toe. It is much easier to forgive and forget it. Would you not say?
• India
29 Feb 12
Hello friend, this is a better way forgive and forget. But some times we can forgive but never call up the reason. Oncce upon a time a friend hurts me lot for a reason. After that he was very sorry. I for give him but in my whole life i can forget this reason. So this situation we have to handle it. Its very nice discussion like to see you again with some awesome discussion. Thank you!
• India
29 Feb 12
Only god can forgive and forget, guess we human beings can't particularly if some was was hurt.. Thanks for this nice discussion
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
I'd say forgive and forget about the bad feeling you had but never forget about the lesson learned. It would take a lot to be able to forgive so in the process you have to let go of the bad feelings you had in order to fully forgive. Forgetting may mean forget the whole reason of the conflict/problem, forget the conflict itself, forget about the person or forget about the whole experience. Whichever it is you'll surely not be totally erase it from your memory.
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
I guess its just how we are... we forgive and we forget but that would depend on what kind of people we really are. it is true that we may actually forgive someone but if we do not forget, does that count as if we have not forgiven too?
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
I forgive but I never ever forget. And you are right, we learn from it, whether its forgive and forget or the other way around.
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
29 Feb 12
For goodness sake forgive, because a hold grievance is an invitation for disease, and is also hard on your mental health. But, to forgive and forget, is an invitation to more and bigger future problems. When you are hurt by someone, and it wasn't your fault, the best and safest approach is to quietly move on, find another friend and get on with your life!
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
28 Feb 12
You make it sound easy as if there is a choice but there is not. You can say by heart you forgive someone but that doesn't mean you also can forget (feelings/brains) what has happend. There is a very good reason why we don't forget if something worse happend to us, this is the lesson we learned the warning. If we would forget or ignore we would always make the same mistake over and over again and nothing would change. I am not saying that you have to be full of hate, should not be able to let it be, let it go (otherwise it will eat you) but just forget is not possible. Unless you have a braindamage.
@GardenGerty (102585)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I think you are right. We forgive, but do not forget the learning experiences we have. If we do not remember, we are leaving ourselves vulnerable to repeating the same sad scenarios.
@pahak627 (4198)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
It's hard to forgive. Well, I tried to forgive but I can not forget the wrong done to me. Every time another wrong was done to me those hurt feelings that I felt before would come back to my memories though I thought I had forgotten those already.
• United States
28 Feb 12
I think its all how you interpret something, or perhaps, how it relates to your own life. When I see forgive and forget, I don't take the slogan completely literal. Say someone has wronged me in some way, while it may be difficult to forgive, the act of forgiving is actually for "you" and not the person who wronged you. You are allowing yourself to be free of the hurt and anger that their actions caused you. This I completely agree with and think that you cannot continue to be a positive person, if you are carrying around so much anger. On the other side of that, "forget" No I don't think anyone should ever "forget" but move on from it. So all in all I guess Im saying to allow yourself to let go of the hate and anger, move on from the situation, but keep those lessons you've learned from the situation close. This way you'll know how to protect yourself in the future. I know some people say "I could never forgive someone who cheated on me." While that may be true in a sense, by forgiving you are not saying what they did is acceptable. You are merely saying that I won't allow you to continue hurting me, and so I forgive you, but no one says you have to keep them in your life either.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Feb 12
hi cyclopz I feel its best to forgive and remember as we can then learn from errors or past experiences. Forgive but not forget. Learn f rom these experiences and try to dodge an occurrence of this again.Someone who keeps doing us wrong'is one to avoid not forget what he or she did to us. Just know that this person caused you grievous troubles so stay away from him or her.You are right it becomes a part of our life's experiences and should be kept in our nmemory.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 12
Hi Cyclopz, I said, forgive but never forget. Like what you said, all the things we have passed is our experience and from that experience, we learn. Forgive and forget is stupid. It is the same as letting yourself fall in the same hole over and over again. Why should you do this to yourself? Forgive and not forget. This is the smartest way of forgiving. Don't forget the pain someone caused you, doesn't mean that you take revenge on him. It is just the way to keep yourself from hurting again.
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 12
We will forgive and forget what happened. What that means is perhaps "forget" his or her having been so rude but we can't "forget" how we were treated that way. So, you forgive and forget his mistake but don't forget how that happened. Sorry, I am also mixed up. Lol.
@GemmaR (8526)
28 Feb 12
I think that whether you choose to forgive somebody for something is depending on which situation you're in, and how the two of you feel about that at the time. If you choose to forgive, then chances are you will never actually forget but you just have to try and put it to the back of your mind so that you won't be mentioning it in every single argument that you have for the rest of your lives. It is sometimes more difficult than you think to forget about things, so you need to be absolutely sure that you're going to be able to do this before you go and make any kind of promises.
@alokijon (665)
• Malaysia
28 Feb 12
The goodhearted people will always tell you that we should forgive and forget. Do not hold any ill feeling towards anybody. But in reality, it is very difficult to forgive and forget. I am a person will always forgive those who 'sinned' against me but I will never forget what they did to me. I am not saying that I am still mad or hate that particular person but it is a way for me to remind myself not to repeat the same mistake again and again. I try to learn something from the event and move forward but I try to make sure that I will never forget the event. Yes, you are forgiven but the memory remains because I will never forget it.
• United States
28 Feb 12
There is this one thing I just can't forgive and it is that I was cheated on a few times. I can't forget it and i can't forgive it. I know i would be better off if i did because I would not think about it so much. I am just not able to do that at all.