Grooming your friends list on myLot.
By koopharper
@koopharper (7502)
Canada
August 31, 2012 7:08am CST
If you go to my profile you will notice that I don't have a lot of friends compared with most people here. It isn't that I'm not friendly. I just don't see the point in bulking up my friends list just to have a lot of them.
I recently deleted a couple people. Nothing personal but there are things I find useful in a friend, things that I don't and then there are things I find downright annoying. I can't stand being pestered to join ptc sites. If you like them, great. I don't like them and don't want to be asked to join them constantly. The other thing I don't like is a friend who daily makes so many discussions that all my other friend's discussions get pushed all the way to page two or three. I have good friends here who respond to my discussions and I like to see their's at a glance so that I can reciprocate. I can understand it if someone does this once in a rare while. Hey, sometimes we all have a lot to say. Everyday though gets really annoying especially if they don't respond to comments or ever visit my discussions.
I used to say yes to anyone who asked to be my friend. I guess I've changed though. I take a good look at someone's profile before I accept a friend request. What use is it to have a ton of friends on your list but not be able to pay any real attention to any of them.
To all my friends here that make this site worth visiting. Happy myLotting.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@peavey (16936)
• United States
31 Aug 12
I've never accepted all the people as friends who requested it, but I'm getting even pickier, too. I always look at their profiles and check the last few discussions they've taken part in and/or started. If they're not something I'm particularly interested in, I deny the request.
I started to clean out my friends list a few times but have never got all the way through it. Some I've deleted have been people who no longer come to myLot and some were not what I thought they were.
2 people like this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
I'm glad you accepted me early on. I didn't even have to tell you that we had been friends on my old account. I haven't deleted inactive friends yet but I don't need to be too quick on that. There are only a handful of them anyway. Maybe they'll come back. I have run into a few people who were not what I initially thought they were.
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
I enjoy your discussions as well. You don't put in that many and I want to be able see them when they do come up. I have had problems with having to dig through several pages of uninteresting or generic discussions created by just a few people.
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
31 Aug 12
I've yet to do any friends list grooming on here. Maybe it's because I'm not really active on here as much as I'd like to be. I definitely do see and agree with many of the points you made though. I do check out profiles before adding people. Their level of activity etc, is something I pay attention to before adding them.
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
I wish I had more time to be on here as well. I just do my best to make the most of the time I have. Having someone who responds intelligently to discussions makes my visits here a whole lot more enjoyable. I'm sure we'll have some good ones when the basketball season gets rolling.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
5 Sep 12
I understand completely, I am the same way, I find every day I have to simply delete emails from certain people because there are just to many of them. I tried to tell one person nicely about flooding people with mylot discussions and she wouldn't listen.
1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
6 Sep 12
I make a very moderate number of discussion because I want to be able to comment on every single response I get. I think it's just courteous. There are a lot of people who don't seem to think that way. Make a ton of discussions and then ignore them all. Worse they don't seem to comment on anyone else's discussions either. I always appreciate a back and forth conversation even if it takes several days.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
1 Sep 12
I get what your saying and even though it never bothered me . I dont like friend telling me to give them my personal email so they can invite me to join certain sites . I never delete them I just ignore their message .
I also do have friends that never even glace at my discussion even if I am always replying to theirs , I notice someone making like 100 discussions a day and never made the time to reply to anyone else discussion . I dont have a lot of friends either because I like to keep up with what the few I have do .
1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
I think, when someone makes a hundred discussions in a day, the term discussion is being generous. I just call that starting a topic. Nine times out of ten they don't even comment back on the responses they got never mind make comments on anyone else's discussions.
I'm like you. I'd rather have the shorter friends list and keep up with them.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
1 Sep 12
That is alright to groom your friend list once a while, some of them had gone MIA after a month or week, they are no where to be found inside Mylot, doing so will make your friend list look cleaner unless you are a friend collector that insist on having several hundred or several thousand of member names in your friend profile list, then keeping them there will not hurt a bit. Talking about that, it remind me may be it is time for me to do some grooming too on My Lot, Cool! 
1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
I have found that a lot of people here come and go. If they come here for money only they often will give up before payout or they will get to payout and then permanently disappear. Honestly I'm planning to be around for a long time. I may not be extremely active sometimes but I've got other things in life that have to have my attention too.
Nice seeing you around again lampar.
@maezee (41997)
• United States
31 Aug 12
Good for you. You might as well get rid of the people you aren't actually 'friends' with or don't actually communicate with. Me? I'm not so picky. The purpose, for me, of having 'friends' on MyLot is to have new discussions to respond to, new people to discuss things with. I like people who post interesting discussions. I don't have to actually be FRIENDS FRIENDS with them, I just like to hear new 'voices' (if you will). I generally don't accept any friend requests for people who have less than, say, 50 posts. (Eh, too many referral links). Right now I am seriously slacking. I have "163" pending friends requests. It's a daunting task and I don't want to deal with it!
2 people like this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
163 pending friend requests! That is daunting. I usually deal with them fairly quickly. If I consider them questionable I let them sit there for maybe a week. I like new discussions but I'm not really interested in ten different topics from the same person on different aspects of their afternoon shopping trip. I'm also not interested in discussions that appear to be generated by some kind of non-human topic generator. I will occasionally respond to some of those discussions but I don't need them on my friends list. Three or four pages of discussions created by my friends when I have maybe a half an hour to spend on myLot is daunting too, especially knowing that tomorrow there will be that many more.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 12
hi koopharper I do not pick my friends on how valuable they can or cannot be,thats not friendship thats just using. I do not accept as how they can help or hinder me, to me I can see how we can relate from seeing their discussions,. If we mesh at all I accept and yes my list is way too big but when someone who has just joined and has only five friends but has already began participating a lot I feel sorry and I accept so sue me already,. I do not use people I have real friendships here and we mesh with each other, I like people as a rule but if someone keeps insulting me I do drop them off my list.I have never made friendships offline according to how they could help me, thats a cold way to look at things. I try not to just use people but to be a real friend to m y friends.
1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
Hi Hatley! Always good to see you on the lot. Actually money isn't my primary motivator for being here (it does help though). If newbies pass the anti-spam test and are trying to be active I will accept the request. I'm more interested in coming here and interacting intelligently. Payout is going to be a pleasant bonus. I'll reach my first this month.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
31 Aug 12
If you check my profile I have less friends compared to other mylottes who are here for a few months or a year.
I am here for 4 years but my friends haven't even reached 300.
I don't keep adding people and I don't accept request to every request as well.
I want to keep a friend who are active and yes, I delete someone who keep sending ref links on my message box...
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
We're pretty much on the same page by the sound of it. I'm here to write and discuss, not to collect friends. Don't get me wrong I'm glad of the friends I've found along the way.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
1 Sep 12
'Grooming' my list is something I still have to do. I've been on and off here, and really busy with my offline job, that I haven't really had the time to delete a few(lots) in my list. Like you, there's only a few here that I enjoy responding to their posted discussions. In the same way, I always see them in mine.
For some reason or another, I've also lost a few good friends here (who I'd like to think have been enjoying their offline lives).
Nice to meet you koopharper!
) in my list. Like you, there's only a few here that I enjoy responding to their posted discussions. In the same way, I always see them in mine.
For some reason or another, I've also lost a few good friends here (who I'd like to think have been enjoying their offline lives).
Nice to meet you koopharper!1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
I'm not here because I have a real life I want to forget. This does have to fit in with everything else. I am a busy guy. There are some good friendships developing here on the site. Makes it a lot more fun to spend some time here.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
We have the same thing in mind. I want to be friends who has a lot more to share than those who just post discussions, just for the purpose of posting. Not all posted discussions can be outright interesting.
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
I've always seen friendship as give and take. I'm not impressed when I see ten discussions from the same person and they are not responding back to the people who took the time to participate. I've found some of the best discussions on here can go back and forth for several days.
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
31 Aug 12
What you say makes good sense, koopharper.
I am pleased to see that I haven't yet been pruned from your list.
I look forward to participating in your future discussions!
Peace!
1 person likes this
@koopharper (7502)
• Canada
2 Sep 12
Hmm... I'll keep you around for a bit yet. Actually I'm really not that mean about it. I just want to keep my own participation manageable. We all have lives outside of myLot. Good thing too or we wouldn't have much to talk about.
