What do you think?
By dreamertink
@dfollin (24307)
United States
October 28, 2012 9:01pm CST
My daughter is 15 and is a freshman in high school.She gets up between 5:00 AM and 5:30 AM on school days.She has to leave to catch her bus about 6:20 AM.School starts at 8:10 AM and releases at 2:05 PM after a long days work.She get's home about 2:25,gets a snack,does about 2 to 2 1/2 hours of homework.Then we have dinner,which sometimes she help fix and clears the table as well.She watched a little tv and talks to a friend on the phone.About 9:00 she will usually fall asleep
On the weekends she usually helps me with the laundry,cleans her room and helps with my 5 year old granddaughter when she comes over(usually every other weekend).And when we go to the store on the bus.She comes and helps me carry the groceries back.Also spends time with friends usually on the weekends for a few hours.And on Sunday night and Wednesday night's she take's the trash can around front and takes it back when she come's home because he won't.
I have nerve damage in my arm and before we signed the lease on the rooms we were going to rent I told the landlord(that lives in the basement)that I needed to use the dishwasher because I could not wash dishes by hand regularly.He said fine,no problem.Now he has changed his mind and he said that since I cannot handle washing dishes by hand all the time he wants me to have Michaela do it! I told him no that she is busy enough as it is.And he said she needs to do some chores.
Don't you think that is too much?
I have nerve damage in my arm and before we signed the lease on the rooms we were going to rent I told the landlord(that lives in the basement)that I needed to use the dishwasher because I could not wash dishes by hand regularly.He said fine,no problem.Now he has changed his mind and he said that since I cannot handle washing dishes by hand all the time he wants me to have Michaela do it! I told him no that she is busy enough as it is.And he said she needs to do some chores.
Don't you think that is too much?6 people like this
22 responses
@Hrozean (116)
• United States
29 Oct 12
This seems crazy. Why did he change his mind? Besides its not his business what chores you daughter does or does not do. I wonder if there is a way to ask a friend or family member to do it or help. In our town there's plenty of helping hands places that are basically retired RNs or something like that to help get things done around the house. Hope you get something figured out.
3 people like this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi Hrozean,Yes,it's crazy.mind because for one he's a tight wad,two I think he is trying to get rid of us.If I had the money I'd be out of here! No one is going to help do that for one everyone is always so busy around here and they are going to look at it this way,we are paying for the use of the dishwasher,so why should me,my daughter or anyone else do it.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
29 Oct 12
dfollin it is none of your landlords business what chores your daughter does. From what you have said she does do a good bit of chores. He should be checking for leeks between the dishwasher and along the line coming into the dishwasher. or he needs to do some maintenance on the dishwasher to be sure it is working right and not using more water than needed. He knew about your need before renting you the apartment so it's his problem and he needs to let you alone. Move when the lease is up. It's not worth the aggravation that he is giving you.
2 people like this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Find out where the water meter is and read it yourself so you know what water is being used by the house. I think that he isn't making as much money off you and the other renter as he thought he would. He could also be mentally ill. From every thing you have written He is just plane nuts.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Hi deebomb,Oh he and his estranged wife started right after we signed the lease.He asked me what her bedtime was,she asked me if she drank and I told her no.Then she went and asked the other person they were renting to what she would intending on doing if MY daughter was drinking.
This young lady hadn't met us yet and is only 5 years older then my daughter.
Yes,he knew my needs before,but he now tells me that it doesn't matter what I said and that the medical stuff is ridiculous.
This young lady hadn't met us yet and is only 5 years older then my daughter.Yes,he knew my needs before,but he now tells me that it doesn't matter what I said and that the medical stuff is ridiculous.1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
31 Oct 12
I know he has mental problems,the day after we moved in he told me that he was on anti-depressants.Plus,I also know that they are trying to make as much money as they can from me because after he and I had already signed the lease and paid him the deposit he then tells me that we have to wait for her to sign.Then when she got there,she said no that the only way she would sign it was that if I paid $50 more dollars a month.Then I find out that she told my roomate that I was on social security and it was unfair for her to ask me to pay more and got her to pay $50 more.Then a few days later she called both of us asking us to pay $20 more!
@GardenGerty (157907)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Her discipline and chores are none of his business unless she is breaking the law or violating the lease. I would not stand for it. She does do chores.
2 people like this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Hi GardenGerty,Oh yes,she does chores.
And nothing illegal,even if she wanted to she wouldn't have time.No,she does not do or want to do anything illegal.
And nothing illegal,even if she wanted to she wouldn't have time.No,she does not do or want to do anything illegal.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Oct 12
oh dfollin you have a wonderful young daughter and you are right she has enough on her plate. talk to the jerk landlord again and m ke him see reason. She is a lovely girl and you have done a great job of raising her. that man has to see reason.why does he n ot just let you use the dishwasher? what a jerk.
shame on him.I do know about carrying groceries on the bus too. I finally had to'get my favorite store to deliver
and their cost was reasonable you should c heck into what it would cost you as its a real help for us without cars.
and their cost was reasonable you should c heck into what it would cost you as its a real help for us without cars.@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi Hatley,Thank you and yes she does have enough on her plate.It does no good to talk to him.I talked to him yesterday and he yelled at me,shaking his fist at me and threw the thick Sunday paper and hit my roomates cat.
There is only one store that delivers and that is Giant.Sometimes their sale items are cheap.I used to get them to deliver when we lived in the next town over and they had a miminum order of $60 plus a $15 delivery fee.Then when the gas prices started climbing the added on a mileage fee based on the price of gas that day.Now it is $100 miminum and $20 fee plus the mileage fee.
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
I wonder why your landlord suddenly changed his mind. Yeah it will really be too much for your daughter. If he will just understand your situation then it will be easier for you. Maybe you should talk with him again and mention what you have agreed upon.
2 people like this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Hi shylade,He is strange like that,he will say something and then say the opposite 5 minutes later,then 5 minutes after that go back to what he said the first time.My roomate was asking him about something and at first he was talking to her then all of the sudden,he zoned out.He didn't answer her and about this time I came down the steps and started saying something too.He ignored both of us.
Yesterday and the day before he told me that anything I said before does not count.
My roomate was asking him about something and at first he was talking to her then all of the sudden,he zoned out.He didn't answer her and about this time I came down the steps and started saying something too.He ignored both of us.Yesterday and the day before he told me that anything I said before does not count.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
I don't think that it is asking too much from your daughter. Ask her for some help with the dishes. I am sure that it doesn't pile up 10 ft high, right? I am sure, that by the way you have described your daughter, she will gladly oblige. She is aware that you can not do it coz of a nerve damage. I am sure that she loves you and would not want you to be burdened with this. Just talk to her and ask her.
Imagine some people who do not have a dish dryer. Like most of the households here in our country. We do the dishes manually. Only the filthy,rich people will consider buying dish dryers. It is not that bad doing it manually. It just takes a little time to get used to it.
2 people like this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Hi Jenny,No my dishes are not ten feet high!
But,my daughter already does enough and she already helps with the cooking and dishes,but he wants her to wash all the dishes instead of me using the dishwasher that I have the right to use according to my lease.
But,my daughter already does enough and she already helps with the cooking and dishes,but he wants her to wash all the dishes instead of me using the dishwasher that I have the right to use according to my lease.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
29 Oct 12
It is not common for a landlord to tell you what your daughter should do or should not do... Thats improper! He's doing it because he's going to avoid giving you the dish washer... Don't let him do it... Your daughter does a lot... And that is a good thing. It won't be easy to give her one more assignment though..
Good Luck!
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Now we are cold and he won't let us have the heat on,he started yelling at me that is why I am poor,because I spend money on meaningless stuff like heat when it's not cold......it's only 48 and the wind is coming right through the windows.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
29 Oct 12
Well... That is cruelty on his part, if you ask me... My friend, why don't you look for some other house. I'm sure there are other places which you can rent and live with comfort. And I'm sure there are good landlords too... Give it a serious thought... Mere hint of you moving out, will bring him back to senses... Good Luck!
God Bless You!
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
29 Oct 12
It seems ridiculous that he won't let you use the dishwasher, but he is obviously not going to change his mind about the situation. You really have 1 of 2 choices. Either do the dishes yourself and put yourself in pain or have your daughter do them. It sucks I know, but it seems like you don't have much of a choice.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi lilybug,Oh,it's not just pain,if I wash dishes,all 3 meals for a couple of days.My hand will be worthless after that it will not let me hold anything,I would not be able to wash anything else.
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
29 Oct 12
When I was your daughter's age, and even younger than your daughter. I also did the same thing as your daughter. In fact, more than your daughter did. Nowadays, it is very difficult to find a daughter who is willing to help his mother. You must be very proud, have a daughter like that. You have to give him attention, often say thank you, to your daughter. And occasionally give time for your daughter, do things that are favored by your daughter.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi indahfth,Thank you,I am proud of her and she does help me.I try to do my best with her,but I need to cocentrate on making money or I will have a homeless daughter.I appreciate her more then she understands.
I try to do my best with her,but I need to cocentrate on making money or I will have a homeless daughter.I appreciate her more then she understands.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
It is way too much, and I think your landlord is inconsiderate and without a trace of compassion in him. Just greed. I guess that's why he changed his mind about the use of the dishwasher. It would add to his electric bills even though the amount would probably be so small.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi beamer88,This time he wasn't complaining about the electric,he was complaining about the water usage.He complained when the September electric bill came because he said it was high because of the A/C.It was $94.That's low! This is a townhouse(3 floors) with 4 bedroom's,2 full baths and 2 half,wash,dryer and dishwasher.There is also 3 laptop's,2 Kindles,4 cell phones and 2 TV's.In 2001 my husband and I had a 3 bedroom,2 bath apartment,washer,dryer,2 cell phones,1 computer,4 tvs,2 vcrs and 1 game system.We lived above the laundry room,so got heat from there.And our bill averaged $99 a month.`
That's low! This is a townhouse(3 floors) with 4 bedroom's,2 full baths and 2 half,wash,dryer and dishwasher.There is also 3 laptop's,2 Kindles,4 cell phones and 2 TV's.In 2001 my husband and I had a 3 bedroom,2 bath apartment,washer,dryer,2 cell phones,1 computer,4 tvs,2 vcrs and 1 game system.We lived above the laundry room,so got heat from there.And our bill averaged $99 a month.`
@riyauro (6421)
• India
29 Oct 12
yes of course it is too much. How can he do like that. I hope he can understand how much she is doing. I would get tired of doing all that. she is very helpful and knows what she has to do. Very sweet daughter you have. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
1 person likes this
@screamis (13)
•
29 Oct 12
the landlord is so mean... i think what he said let your daughter to do some chores is just a excuse. he just don't want you to use the dishwasher. must of landlord are stingy.
By the way, how relax your country's high school students, just less than 6 hours in school. zzzzz It's almost half of daytime when i am in my high school.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi screamis,OOPS,my mistake,school starts at 7:20 not 8:10,so that's even longer.People are so tense and high strung.Everything is hurry,rush,push the kids to grow up faster,learn more.......I think it's crazy! This landlord was yelling at my daughter a little while ago and in her face.He is mean.
@Magz1989 (271)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Right! its to much, your daughter is very busy enough. And since you paying what your using so, let the contract be done. It was said that you are going to use the dishwasher...Your daughter needs also a little time for a break...she's still studying and she's really a good daughter. Also the landlord cannot just command you, your are his costumer.
@dfollin (24307)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi Magz,Well there is no explaining to him.He said he turned it back on and he got mad because we needed the heat on because it is cold up here.He said we were complaining too much and nothing I said about my medical issues counts or anything else I said.And that it also say's in the lease that he can protect his property and that by turning the dishwasher off was protecting his water usage.No he can't command me.I said I was gonna' us it anyway,so he turned it off as well the heat.
No he can't command me.I said I was gonna' us it anyway,so he turned it off as well the heat.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
29 Oct 12
why does he want to make her do them by hand? i think she has enough to do. my daughter is also 15 and has at least that much homework each night (and is usually doubled on the weekends). she has chores to do around the house and often goes with her father to monitor parking lots (another job we get paid for) because i have chronic fatigue and am often really tired at night.
we don't have a dishwasher but i wouldn't make her do the dishes by herself. more often than not, i end up doing them by myself but i take breaks while i am doing them.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Your daughter sounds incredibly helpful and responsible for 15yrs old and you should be very proud of her. She probably is the type that would help out willingly with the dishes but honestly that is not one bit of your landlords business. It is not up to him to say what your daughter should do or not do for chores. It's just not his place to make that call. Even if your daughter did none of the things that you listed...still not his place to decide that.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
29 Oct 12
I think that this sounds as though it is very hard for your daughter, but if she is young then the chances are that she will be able to deal with it, as young people have a lot more energy than older people. I do think that children should be asked to help around the house a little bit, but only if they can cope with doing so. For example if she were to help around the house a little more at the weekend when she didn't have to go to school this might be good, but you shouldn't make her do too much as this might cause her to burn out.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
I don't think that is too much.
Your daughter is busy with her studies and I agree that she should not do the dishes during school days.
Besides, as long as you are paying the rent there is no reason that you can't use the dishwasher- let alone the landlord has the guts to tell you what to do with your daughter :xx
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Oct 12
You are your daughter's parent, not the landlord. I think that it is up to you to decide what chores that your daughter should be responsible for and that the landlord shouldn't have any kind of say on what chores that your daughter does. I think that on top of everything else that she is already doing between helping you out at home and school work, it is quite enough for her.
I have to say that I agree with you in telling the landlord that your daughter is quite busy enough as things are.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
I agree that your daughter has enough household chores that she is doing. And i must say that you are lucky to have an industrious and obedient daughter.
You have to talk to the landlord about it. He might be thinking that she isn't helping enough with the household chores.
How inconsiderate your landlord is. However, if he pays the electricity then he has a reason though.
