It&#39;s Partially The Lack Of Money!

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

Yeah I live a simple life too. It is hard when people come here for my Childcare Business because they judge me on my house sometimes rather than the person I am... I make myself look good too if I leave the house. I like to take care of myself as well so maybe people will not think I am garbage... That is true, there are more important things that I have that others don't have.

1 person likes this

ElicBxn

@ElicBxn (63235)

• United States

25 Mar 13

I don't get my hair and nails done because I don't CARE. I didn't have designer clothes because almost nobody did when I was in school. I'm poor, but I don't care if I can't have my nails done, partly because I HATE to have even PAINT on my nails, you can imagine how I'd feel if I even had anything else on there! I just can't be bothered to paint my face or fluff my hair because they will either like me or not and all those other things are just show - I DON'T care if they like me because of my outside isn't "pretty". They'd better be liking me because I'm a nice person - or not...

1 person likes this

ElicBxn

@ElicBxn (63235)

• United States

25 Mar 13

You are young. When I was in school I cared more, but I stopped pretty soon after getting out of there. I think you might need to consider what is REALLY important - like your family.

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

I just think what do others see me as. I don't really know why I care SO much about what others think of me but I do and I always have. I can say I don't all day long but in the end I still do care... I want to know what others think of me. Why that is so important to me I really do not know.

2 people like this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

I am trying not to get defensive here because I feel insulted. Basically your saying I am immature-maybe I am in this way. But more than that I just think I have a lack of self confidence and I am a people pleaser, I always want everyone to see the good in me rather than the bad. And I do think about my family, my children and husband are very important to me. Not really sure what you were saying with that one...Pretty much all I talk about and think about is them around here...

2 people like this

bounce58

@bounce58 (17387)

• Canada

4 Apr 13

I think it's the people that do have the money, trying to make themselves look better than they actually are. That's why some of us who have issues of confidence in the first place, think we are not worth some other people's time and friendship/relationship. This is the same struggle for me, but I try to overcome it most of the time.

2 people like this

confidence

hushi22

@hushi22 (4928)

•

31 Mar 13

While I was reading your post I thought I was reading my own post/diary entry especially the hair and nail done. I recently had a haircut in a proper hairdresser and I realised it was my 3rd time (since birth) to actually have my hair done by a hairdresser. But every time I feel ''less than'', my hubby comes and reorients me of who I am and that I should not feel ''less than'' or the like.

2 people like this

robspeakman

@robspeakman (1700)

•

25 Mar 13

A lack of money does not make you a lesser person - Never think that. Designer clothes and having the nails done? Is that all it takes to make a better person? There is nobody on this Planet better than me... There is no on this Planet better than you. That is not some creepy come on - it is fact. One only becomes a lesser person by their actions - The thief is a lesser person, The child molester is a lessor person and so on. My Eldest daughter is in University - her sister and her brother will follow her. They have been given every opportunity in life to be successful have an amazing career - If they want it. However, their mother and I have brought them up to understand that the person that stacks the shelves in a supermarket is not a lesser person. Toilet cleaners, street cleaners, stay at home mothers and car park attendants are not lesser folk. I don't wear designer clothes - I wear what is comfortable. I have never had my nails done.... well OK, once - for a bet. These are all superficial things - external aids to hide a lack of confidence or character flaws. There is no such thing as richer people - They just have better credit

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

Well I know. I just wonder what others think of me is all I guess. No, that is not all it takes of course not. But it just bothers me that I feel like other people look down on me because I cannot afford those things. Thanks, I know it wasn't a come on don't worry. Lol. I teach my kids the same thing, that no one is less than anyone else. Just wish I could believe it for myself more I guess. I don't want them to think they are better than anyone and I don't want them thinking they are less than anyone either. Thanks for everything you said here. You made me cry, in a good way. =)

1 person likes this

robspeakman

@robspeakman (1700)

•

25 Mar 13

Why would it bother you what others think of you? There is nothing we can do about what some think of us - Those type of folk will always find fault with others. That is their problem and I would suppose that the Shrinks will say it is classic deflection. Never meant for you to cry - Whatever reason for the tears, I am a man and we have no idea how to deal with tears.....

1 person likes this

ladygator

@ladygator (3465)

• United States

25 Mar 13

I am like that when I go to the school for my children. Most of the moms are stay at home moms,are doctors or doctors wives etc... It makes me feel insecure against them because I dont have the latest UGGS or a nice fancy car. My kids have average clothes and get free lunch. I have never been treated badly or left out when I have been around, but I feel bad because I am not as financially endowed as they are and cant take my kids on vacation. I get to feeling sorta jealous (which I cant stand it, feeling that way) I would love to be able to have a budget to work with and not be shuffling the bills..But I have to look at what I do have, healthy kids, a healthy hubs and my kids are really good and a joy to their teachers and friends invite them over a lot, the parents are always so nice to them and very polite to me. So really when you look at the things that matter we are well off. :)

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

That's the thing too. I have a Childcare Business and when parents drop their kids off or pick them up I feel like they are judging me by what I have here. It bothers me because I feel like they think I am trash due to lack of money... =( No one has ever really said it but the looks kind of give it away. My children don't have what other kids have either and that bothers me too.

1 person likes this

MsTickle

@MsTickle (25180)

• Australia

30 Mar 13

Are those things the worst things? At least you have hair and nails and teeth. What if you had that disease where your hair falls out? What if you had a nail fungus that was eating away your finger nails? What about someone with no teeth? Are you going to feel better than someone with those conditions, will you feel more superior and look down on them? Of course you would not be like that so why would someone be like that with you?

1 person likes this

judging others

BarBaraPrz

@BarBaraPrz (45498)

• St. Catharines, Ontario

25 Mar 13

This is the best self-help group around. No matter what your problem, someone will be able to help you with it. Now, the two of you: You are as good as anyone else, so don't let me hear you say any different!

1 person likes this

BarBaraPrz

@BarBaraPrz (45498)

• St. Catharines, Ontario

25 Mar 13

You're welcome.

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

It is the best self help group! I agree with that. =) Your right, many people help me every day here. Thank you BarBaraPrz!

1 person likes this

dorannmwin

@dorannmwin (36392)

• United States

27 Mar 13

I do think that this is something that does make us feel like we are less of a person. I mean I am one of those people that feels like I've been looked down upon because of the fact that I don't have as much as other people have. I used to be a member of a local playgroup and I finally did end up quitting because I didn't really fit in with those women. Most of them lived in really nice neighborhoods and sent their children to private daycares or schools. Me, I'm not able to do that, I kept my kids and others at home for a little bit of extra money, I send my children to public school, etc. Oh well, if people are going to be that superficial about their lives, then I really don't need them to be a part of my life.

1 person likes this

Dominique25

@Dominique25 (9464)

• United States

26 Mar 13

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I'm sure that the majority of us who are poor feel this way at times. But like Wolfie said those who are and who can become our true friends will not use these standards to judge us. The individuals who hold those things as most important and look down on others we are better off not having them around us. Sometimes people do feel that they are better then us because they have more but other times we are struggling with our own feelings. I know I have felt this way more so recently around others who have a lot more money than I do but I have been working on adjusting my viewpoint.

1 person likes this

money

JRJohnson

@JRJohnson (85)

• United States

25 Mar 13

We are all valuable and special in our own each individual way. You should think yourself lesser than because you lack material possessions. "Things" don't define a person nor does lack of "things" devalue a person. Trust in your path and know that all will work out in the end.

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

I know things don't make me who I am. It just bothers me when people come here for Childcare and they are expecting a nicer place than what I have or nicer things than what I have...

kenshin2143

@kenshin2143 (1880)

• Philippines

25 Mar 13

I guess your pretty aware that money is not everything but then again, it will still matter. As for me, I do have money for most of the time even if its not comparable to the riches of my classmate. The thing is, I am not really bothered having not that much.

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

I am aware that money isn't everything but I also know that people judge by how much you have or how much you don't have...

donatello123

@donatello123 (326)

• Philippines

25 Mar 13

Sometimes I also feel the same way you feel. I see other people and they have all these new gadgets, and me, I still have this lower model of cellphone. But one thing I realized when I saw this cashier from a small grocery store. She has this latest Iphone model. I know she doesn't earn big from her work but yet she's able to buy herself a latest phone. Maybe I am just thrifty. I know if I want one thing, I can get it. I am earning a decent income but I just deprived myself of material things because I feel hesitant spending money. Anyway, do not say to yourself that you are lesser compared to other people. Just remember that there are even more people who do not have a house, or food to eat, or money to buy, or work to earn income.

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

31 Mar 13

It bothers me with my kids as well. They are constantly being told they cannot go there or they cannot have that because we don't have the money for it. If it was just me that I had to worry about it might be different. Also when people come for Childcare, they are not impressed by the house we have either... Also, I have been homeless in the past so I know what that is like as well. And yes it was much worse than things are now but I still don't have anywhere near what others have...

jillhill

@jillhill (37354)

• United States

25 Mar 13

I know when I was younger I had those same feelings....due to lack of money and I do think people have higher self esteem when you have it....it's not that money can buy true happiness...it's that you can fit in better....as you get older though...that stuff doesn't matter..or it won't matter to you. Your friends will be a bit different..as you age..things fall into perspective!

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

31 Mar 13

I do not have friends offline so it has nothing to do with friends. The friends thing I was talking about when I was still in school. Now it is other things like my kids and when people come here for Childcare... It bothers me with my kids as well. They are constantly being told they cannot go there or they cannot have that because we don't have the money for it. If it was just me that I had to worry about it might be different. Also when people come for Childcare, they are not impressed by the house we have either...

sid556

@sid556 (30960)

• United States

25 Mar 13

Well, i am poor too so i really don't know but from reading your previous discussions i would say that it is lack of self condfidence that makes you feel like this. We all have things that we feel insecure about....rich or poor...we all do. Chin up, hon. you are beautiful, you are a good mom, you may only have a modular but that is way way better than a lot of people have. you seem to make the best of what you have to work with. Dont be so harsh on yourself. if someone looks down on you for lack of money then you don't want them as your friend anyway.

sid556

@sid556 (30960)

• United States

1 Apr 13

I was so poor when my kids were small that I had to say no to all sorts of things so I do know how you feel. For the longest time I could not afford things like cable, a phone etc. It was pretty rough for what felt like years but I'm sure I'm exaggerating. Yep, spent a summer living in a tent so I do know that homelessness can happen just like that...just a bad set of circumstances. I've feared it ever since. Anyway my kids are grown up now and I think maybe because I could not just hand them over things that I would have loved to, they started working and being careful with their money when they were real young. They are good with money and not materialistic at all. The lack of cable when they were real young meant they had to do other things to entertain themselves. They are all very creative. And most important of all, they are honest and nice people. And I also know how you feel about these people looking down on you for where you live. I live in low-income housing. My girls seemed to always attract rich friends. Well, I held a birthday party for my youngest who was maybe 8 at the time. As the parents came to drop their kids off, I could see it..."the look". One of them even asked me what I had scheduled for the kids to do. I said other than the traditional pin the tail on the donkey, the kids decide what to do. They all looked at me like I had 25 heads. They are kids and their lives are scheduled out enough. Let them play and have fun. Another mom could not believe I made the cake myself and decorated myself. I did feel bad for a bit but the kids had a blast and thats all that mattered.

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

31 Mar 13

It bothers me with my kids as well. They are constantly being told they cannot go there or they cannot have that because we don't have the money for it. If it was just me that I had to worry about it might be different. Also when people come for Childcare, they are not impressed by the house we have either... Yeah, I have been homeless in the past-I know what its like to have nothing. Yes things are better than that for the moment, how long will I have a roof over my head? I don't know. It happened so fast last time, never saw it coming so what if it happens again? I cannot say it won't.

Always smiling

@allknowing (130064)

• India

25 Mar 13

Even those who have no money are acceptable in society if they are of some use to society. May be you could do some social work to gain respect which you now say you have doubts about just because you have no money.

Always smiling

@allknowing (130064)

• India

26 Mar 13

It is easy to say not to get affected by the attitude of others. This is O.K. if you are not depending on them. But in your case you need clients for your school. You must try and devote some time for public causes. That way you will be known as someone who has a thought for others. That is how it starts - you being recognised and accepted.

1 person likes this

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

25 Mar 13

It's mostly because when people come here for my Childcare Services I feel like they are judging me by my house or the things I don't have. Maybe their not but I feel like they are. I have a lot going on with my Childcare as it is, I don't have much time for anything else...

1 person likes this

Cutie18f

@Cutie18f (9551)

• Philippines

25 Mar 13

Believe me, I also do not have enough money but in our country, things are accessible. Having one's nails done is no big deal because it's very cheap here. I do not have money but I try not to show it.

money

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

31 Mar 13

coxjoseph5

@coxjoseph5 (209)

• United States

25 Mar 13

lots of people are poor , some are evn homeless at least you have your mofular.Poor You, Now tell me something good, you shoul be counting your blessings, you have a house , good health an probably a computer n etc. be happy with what you have

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

31 Mar 13

Yes you missed the point completely. And since you DON'T know me you could not possibly know that I HAVE been HOMELESS!! So, I know what that is like by the way. I have been homeless, been without a vehicle, been without FOOD, been without a LOT of things... You know NOTHING about me so how about you stop judging...

coxjoseph5

@coxjoseph5 (209)

• United States

1 Apr 13

i didd noy judge you, just saying you should be happy with what good health etc. you have, You re the one putting your self down.

XtremeGaming

@XtremeGaming (742)

• South Africa

26 Mar 13

I think you missing the point.

XtremeGaming

@XtremeGaming (742)

• South Africa

25 Mar 13

Class is not something you can buy. Nor is respect. Nor is a true friend. Money can't cure pain, hurt or loss. What makes you think having money would make you feel better? Throwing money at a problem won't make it go away. If you had money people could still judge you and use you. Some people just use you for your money and pretend to be your friend.

@LovingMyBabies (85127)

• Valdosta, Georgia

26 Mar 13

It is hard when people come to my home for my Childcare Business, that's when not having money bothers me the most. I think people feel like I am beneath them because I don't have a fancy house or anything. And then I open my mouth to talk and I think their opinion of me gets lower because of my teeth... People judge based on what you have and with people always coming to my house it is really tough!