I'm pregnant and I don't know the father!

Canada
December 18, 2006 9:21pm CST
I'm so desperate here. I don't know what to do. I think I might be pregnant. See what happend is I was dating this guy and then we broke up for a weekend and then we got back together. But while we were broke up I slept with this other guy at a party. I never told my bf. Now my period is late and I don't know if it's my bf's or the other guy. I'm afraid if I tell my bf I'm pregnant and it might not be his he'll leave me. Is there a way to do a parternity test without him knowing?
20 people like this
206 responses
@raven02 (28)
• United States
19 Dec 06
yes there is a way. do you have a free clinic were you live. get him to put his spit on something like a swab and take it in on your own and he will never know a thing. if he lives with you then have the results mailed to another address that you can trust to get it. that is what i would do.
6 people like this
@rhorry93 (164)
• United States
19 Dec 06
Well the only thing i can think of is take the person you think could be the father and do the test. If he isn't it then you know it is your boyfriend. Hopefully there are only 2 possible candidates.
6 people like this
@cheenlly (3477)
• Philippines
19 Dec 06
oh thats a very tough situation. i dont have much idea about paternity test but all i know is that DNA test thing but thats after when baby is born. I know its very hard but the best way is to face it, tell him honestly and face the consequences because if you continue with him without telling him and in the future he will know its still the same as your telling him now. Its a big mistake and you cannot correct it with another mistake. Your guilt will haunt you in the future.
5 people like this
@nhtpscd (1416)
• Australia
19 Dec 06
both tests are basically the same
4 people like this
@shiboleth (270)
• Canada
19 Dec 06
This is terrible. You should tell your boyfriend at once. Then you should go to a doctor and make sure you are not diseased. then you should go to your minister and pray for forgiveness for what you have done. You have been very irresponsable. You should not have done these things. You need to repent.
2 people like this
@babs6219 (153)
• United States
19 Dec 06
Umm...wow! That's assuming that she's a.) Christian and b.) that she feels she needs to repent.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Dec 06
You do know what century we live in, right? I'm kidding with that remark of course. But you assume that the topic starter is Catholic or some other religion that needs to repent. She did nothing wrong in sleeping with this other person whilst she was broken up with her BF. The mistake was in not telling her BF about it and possibly hiding something from him that could make or break their relationship. I can tell you that if that were me and the kid wasn't mine, I'd be out of there. Not because the kids not mine, but because I can't trust her.
3 people like this
@Redzion13 (195)
• Canada
19 Dec 06
Before you do anything walk to the store and buy a pregnancy test. It will stop you form questioning this and you will know for sure if you are pregnant or if you are not. If you are I don't really have much advice for you other then to tell you boyfriend.
4 people like this
• Thailand
19 Dec 06
I will have to agree with this. Make sure you're really pregnant first then later decide on how to find the father. You'll have to be brave now. I think you might have to ask your parents for help.
2 people like this
• Canada
19 Dec 06
Thank you for the advice. Ill do that today.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Dec 06
one more better thing is tthat why dont u do a abortion... dont take it bad,, its for u guf future
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Dec 06
Ok im confused..You posted a response to my question saying that it wasnt really cheating..Now you start a discussion saying that you are pregent and not sure who the father is?Looks to me that you copied a bit of my discusion dont you agree?
2 people like this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
19 Dec 06
I call it double standart. You say that you will not deal with boyfriend cheating on you. I am confused to.
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Dec 06
thanks
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Dec 06
I dont know what you mean I responded to a lot fo posts here yesterday it was my first day I dont rmemember which one was yours.
1 person likes this
19 Dec 06
As already suggested, the best thing to do is buy the pregnancy test first. If this confirms your pregnant, then your going to have to think about how to go about the DNA test. I can't really think of a way not to tell him unless you can find a piece of his hair in a brush or something =| but either way, you need a pregnancy test first, then if it comes back negative, your safe and don't have to bother identifying the father because there isn't a child in the first place :)
1 person likes this
• India
19 Dec 06
u cannot kill the fetus in any way.THe only thing that u can do is go for a DNA test and recognize father or get married to someone else befores the babies birth.
1 person likes this
@babs6219 (153)
• United States
19 Dec 06
I'm not telling her what to do, but she certainly has her choices! She doesn't have to carry the pregnancy to term if she doesn't want to ( assuming that she lives in an area where that is legal). And get married to someone else before the babies born? Why? I'm a single mom and proud to be one! Join this century!
@ambience (67)
• Canada
19 Dec 06
Why dont u do a paternity test with the guy from the party with whom u had slept..If it matches then u know it is him..Otherwise u can stay quiet and tell ur Bf that u r pregnant with his baby
1 person likes this
@itsjustmeb (1212)
• Canada
19 Dec 06
Buy a pregnancy test, then worry...
2 people like this
• Bahrain
20 Dec 06
yaa just make it sure first..
1 person likes this
@raven02 (28)
• United States
19 Dec 06
you should let him know that it is not your fault you were broke up. dont worry if he loves you he will stay with you
2 people like this
• United States
19 Dec 06
I hate to be the bearer of bad news and negativity here, but just because you love someone doesn't mean you would be able to get the image of them "being" with another man so soon after the two you breaking up out of their head in order to be reasonable about it, especially if she's pregnant. It's definitely a compromising situation.
6 people like this
@mmorrow (16)
• United States
19 Dec 06
I agree with some of the other posters. dont worry too much till you buy a test. Sometimes just the stress can cause aunt flow not to come.
2 people like this
@Eskimo (2315)
20 Dec 06
If you don't tell him then he could find out later on and be devastated if the child is not his. Most people nowadays know what their blood group is and can easily find out from websites what blood groups are incompatable with the childs. Its also becoming more popular for children to be tested for various diseases which could also indirectly indicate parenthood. If he really loves you then you will know by his response, but have a pregnancy test first.
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
31 Dec 06
A positive is a popular blood group. Dh, both daughters, myself, and DD#1's bio dad - all A positve. That didn't help squat!
• United States
31 Dec 06
But i think you can wait you will first need to make sure that you are pregnant..and if yes then you will have to discuss things with your bf first before you take any steps further
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
31 Dec 06
she should know by now this post was two weeks ago.
• India
2 Jan 07
I suggest you to do the home test confirmation of your pregnancy. Than you search the father dear!
@manu224 (1130)
• Italy
9 Jan 07
if you want really well to him should say their it, because I think that it's necessary to be sincere in every situation
• Sri Lanka
19 Dec 06
Y the hell you shered you'r bed with more than one guy? It is the big mistake you have done. now you are suffering. the thing you have to do is make sure whether you are pregnent or not. if it is sure if you can have blod samples of your both partners you can go for a matanity test. but it is a big taskI think.
• United States
19 Dec 06
[[Y the hell you shered you'r bed with more than one guy?]] First of all, if you read her post correctly, she slept with a guy AFTER she and her boyfriend broke up. While I'm not supporting this by any cause, you are insinuating that she cheated on her boyfriend which was not the case. [now you are suffering. the thing you have to do is make sure whether you are pregnent or not. ] Suffering? She's just worried. Yes, make sure she's pregnant, but being pregnant shouldn't be sufferable by any means.
@firdaus (685)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 07
hmmm... just tell thre truth... first you have to go to pregnant test..
@harivinod (781)
• India
19 Dec 06
ok friend just don't tell him who knows that u slept with other person .so don't tell him what happened in the week
@isha900 (1459)
• India
19 Dec 06
ok
@dcebawana (129)
• India
2 Jan 07
This as amazing that you even dont know you are pregnent by whom..