I'm cold hearted to the idea of.. .Love...   

You can be in love, without having your potential limited. Sure, love is a chemical reaction. It is also, communication, commitment, and friendship. I am in love, and I am happy. Yes, if me and my boyfriend broke up I would be very upset. But life is about learning, and becoming a stronger person. And if love isn't real, then why is your friend so depressed? You also have to remember that losing someone you love isn't the only thing that can cause people to go into a depression. Maybe his heartbreak isn't all to blame? I don't believe that love is an illusion created by movies and books. Yes, they do play it up a whole lot, and make it seem too good to be true. But the idea for those movies and books came from real life. Plus, if I'm not in love, than why do I feel the way I do? Why am I willing to do the things I do? I believe that love is as real as our own two feet.

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The fact that your friend had a bad experience isn't reason to believe that love isn't real.

It's the truest thing one person on this Earth can give to another.

You say YOUR FRIEND broke up with his girl. There must have been a reason ... perhaps confusing LOVE with LUST.

Then you say SHE left HIM. Which was it? Did HE break up with HER or did SHE leave him?

Your narrative doesn't seem to be consistent.

Neo, stay cold-hearted and you're bound to miss out on one of life's greatest experiences. Believe that LOVE is not real, and never REALize true joy.

Open yourself up ... expose yourself to life ... and reap its rewards. Someone else's misfortune may never find itself into YOUR life.

Memo to self: Without love, RJ, where would YOU be today? (C) 2008 RJScott

In my experience love is exactly what we make it. If we put our all into it, it can be all-consuming, if you can't commit to it, it will never happen for you. Love is like a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you say 'I'll never fall in love' you are right, it is entirely in your hands. Love is not a random thing that comes out of the blue. In my experience love is about CHOOSING to love someone, therefore, if you never choose to love you will indeed never be in love..
You are wrong though, love is not a chemical reaction otherwise it would be out of our hands, love is a choice that either you make or you don't.

I am sad to read your post, this is really sad, so I hope you never have a spouse and children, because you would refuse to love them.. and children need love. A wife needs love, a husband needs love. If love did not exist your friend would not be so hurt right now. When love is withdrawn for whatever reason it cuts like a knife. I've been there and I know what it feels like. Being cold is not the answer because you may miss out on a great deal in life by being so sterile in your feelings.

Hello Neo
You are wise and I know a lot of others may differ with me, but I have nearly lost my life on numerous occassions because of love..

I have the experience to back what I am saying up as well.

So, unfortuntely I feel that love is not all it is cracked up to be.

This does not mean that it wasn't the greatest experience I ever had to feel the joy and exhiliration it brings and total fulfillment for a fleeting while, but it does not last with someone who could care less about you.

A life without love is fine, and I for one, do not feel it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Because of love, I have ruined my life.

Your dear friend needs big help Neo..I assure you, you must help him, otherwise the consequences could be dire by the sound of it..for real..help him..tell him that he can be happy alone, tell him to look to you for example..

xoxox

Nothing I haven't heard before (at least the general message). I'm sorry about your friend. But I have to admit, I'm in a similar mindset as you. "Love" has its discouraging moments, and there have been plenty of times I've questioned its validity (even more than other abstracts like "why are we here", "what about heaven/afterlife", "is this reality"). Love itself can be a chemical reaction. It can also be suitable and more dominant genesets just seeking out one another. Anyone think I'm wrong? Just look at who is around your arm or who you hold... take a good look. There was something in there that "clicked" as its said. While some attribute it to personality (supposedly), I attribute it to an innate sense along with personal preference. Both have their genetic and evolutionary sources which are described and debated in "love talk". Don't know what this type of analysis and thinking says but I really don't care.

To your friend, I hope he can get over it. I'm certain the event was devastating, and I'm uncertain of his recovery. He just has to detach, but its easier saying than doing.

There is also nothing wrong with being cautious in love or drawing a conclusion like you presented. For some, relationships aren't prefered and that is also fine. No one should be insulted or subjected to shaming language for having a more pragmatic view of intimate relationships.

i think you still believe in it... only you see the negative side of being in love.

I for one believe that love exist.. we feel its presence as they say love is in the air... we know it follows us to wherever we go.

Love does not hurt us, it is the people we love that do. When you give your heart to someone, you love him/her... it is but normal that we have given that person the "power" to hurt us... and in most cases, they actually do hurt us.

I have had my heart aches too... the first one being my father who betrayed us and left us for another woman... and so until now, i guess i have never fully given my 100% trust and love to those i have relationships with... my excess baggage.. and that protected me and i was never "hurt" as much as others was.

you are right, the statement is so powerful but it goes for that one person who believed that it is a lie. for him... and maybe for you too... but not to all of us.

Well just because he had some bad luck in one relationship does not mean he will continue to have bad luck in all. I think to think the way you are thinking only is limiting to yourself and if it was not real then all of us would just be single and not need anyone in our life. Can you be alone forever because you believe that rubbish? Love is real and is what you make it. It can be great if you make the effort. If you don't you are a loser in that challenge. Not everyone knows how to love honestly either. For some people it is a learning curve and lesson in life.

Awwww. you are not cold hearted Neocomp. you are a caring person. I just don't think you are ready to commit yourself to anyone yet but that is okay. Do you seriously not care to be with someone? You are a very wise person but I don't know if I would want to spend my life alone without being able to love someone some time.