Does he want me to be more selfish?

Perhaps hubby was just a bit tired or just not concerned with cookies at that moment. I think you took it too personal. He'll be OK and I'm sure the ladies, children and who knows maybe even your husband will enjoy the cookies. He's a man and sometimes we need to reel in a little slack.

He probably doesn't want to be bothered to get more chips. I think it is perfectly fine to enjoy baking for other people. That is reward in itself. There are some people who think too much of other people. They can get taken for granted. You might ask if your husband thinks this is the case with you.

Maybe he doesn't realize how much you like to bake. I would tell him that they are for the ladies and not really for the children since the parent's bring stuff for them. I think anybody should be able to cook stuff for meetings and get togethers whether you have children or not. Make them anyway...don't worry about what he says. If it makes you feel good to make them, then make them for everyone.

[i]Hi suspenseful, I am sure if you will explain to him , he will understand you..Sometimes, they act right away maybe due to tiredness... My hubby is also like that but when I will explain to him, he will start to change his words! You have a great heart for doing this and I am sure you will make a lot of people happy![/i]

I think unfortunately that people are cutting back on donating because of the economy. I received an email from a friend near where I live. She and her husband were doing meals on wheels. A program that brings food to people who can't get out to get a meal because of disability, illness, whatever. They could no longer do it. They couldn't afford the gas. I used to donate enough food for a single person to eat a meal. Having been single and without money for food, but now I am lucky if I can donate very much. I donated a small package of dried soup this past weekend and that was all I could do. Will there be enough cookies if you don't bake? Will you be going to this event? Will you feel funny if you don't bring something? Will people understand if you don't bring something? Are or have you been the only person without children to help out in the past? It sounds to me like it is an event that you enjoy, but not one that he understands. Does he have an event the he enjoys, but wouldn't like it if you tried to curtail his activities? There is much to consider here and much that I do not know. But I do know that many people are cutting back and maybe he feels that is a way to cut back. It's hard for me to know. Did you ask him why he said what he did? What is his thinking behind it? I know it was hard for that couple to give up bringing meals to people. Take care

your husband's intention must not let you be more selfish,he just wanted not to be too tired.but if baking can give you pleasure,you go for baking,which won't make your husband angry,his intention is just ensuring you happy.

Nope he is the selfish one!

I have run across similar feelings myself. I belong to our communities Ladies Auxiliary. Mostly what we do it plan the kids parties and stuff like that. My kids are grown - in their 20's - so it doesn't really "benefit" me to be involved. But, I do love helping out so I continue to participate. I help organize the Halloween and Holiday party, as well as some of the other events for the kids. I make baked goods, help decorate and help clean up. If my schedule permits, I go to the events and help keep everything running smoothly. I have no kids there, but I do remember what it was like when my kids were younger and people helped out for me. I think you're doing the right thing - although I do see how your husband can be frustrated over it.

it is tough to guess as such. but i think there should be something like that.may be in this time of so much influence, when life is getting tougher day by day, he does not want you to spend so much.

Men!!! I know you like baking and if i were you i would make the cookies..It has nothing to do with children..I found out a long time ago ,i just do what i think ,men rather you just sit right up under them & bake them cookies..I bet if you wanted to bake him cookies that would be fine..No you are NOT supposs to be selfish...Go get your chocolate chips & bake those cookies like you planned to..Also make your little hubby a few ,men are usually jealous of you making things for others...

I don't know if he's intending you to be selfish - but he (and being a guy this might have more merit than you think) says this because he sees you spending your small amount of money on something that you could be saving it. Guys often stick their foot in their mouths by coming at a subject from the wrong direction. What I suggest is you sit down with him and ask what exactly he was trying to say - that you (both of you) really can't afford to buy chips because you are short of money, or that he thinks its a waste of the money to spend it when you guys could be spending it on something for yourselves, or exactly what he meant by the statement. There are just times when I could kick some guys at coming at topics backwards and getting feathers ruffled.

No and I think that was wrong of him to say. Though I love to bake and can bake some really good things, some Moms don't have the time or skill to bake and if you enjoy it, I say go for it..But I also would ask your husband why he thinks this. Maybe he feels your finances are strained? If that is the case, I can see his point, but to not do it just because you don't have children is not right..

Don't you have two adopted children? Doesn't that make you a mother? What is wrong with your husband?! Mothers are not biological, they're mothers because children are in their heart. I would smack your husband if he were mine for saying that.

I think he might have said you in some other manner and you have taken it otherwise feeling like. He may be doubtful that you may bake enough and there is no children to eat and will go waste. Further you are right one should not be selfish and must think for others also.

Just goes to prove you can't please all the people all the time... (I don't even try!)

Some people feel that their families should keep what they have within the family. I would not tell my husband something like your husband just told you, but I have told hiim to not spread himself so thin. However, if you are not spreading yourself too thin in the baking and sharing department, I don't see the problem with what you are doing.

I really admire you for being a service of others. If you enjoy doing it and it gives you a self satisfaction keep doing it no matter what your husband says.

A woman should be able to do whatever she wants whether she has children or not. Some men just love to control their wives even over the smallest of issues. Just do what you want to do. If that is selfish, so be it. But I do not think it is. He is making an issue out of nothing.

No and No! I believe anyone who wants to bake cookies should be able to bake cookies, as well as anyone who wants to babysit the children should be allowed to do so. It shouldn't depend on whether you have children if you are allowed to do such activities.

Sounds like your husband is just trying to protect you from being taken advantage of. He wants you to be happy. If you don't want to make the cookies, I think he is right let someone else take care of that obligation. If you want to, then make those cookies and eat some too.