The mother/father wants out but kins advice to stay for the children.

hi jenaisle you would not be selfish if you left if the one who is not happy wants out. staying together in a strained and loveless marriage is stupid as the kids will sense right away that one parent is unhappy with the other. no make a clean break and call it quits. He can still pay child support and see them but not live there,get out now. for the kids sakes. they know that parents are fighting and unhappy, do not think they don't. I would leave as I would not stay with someone who no longer wants me. Iwould do it for any kids sakes.

I come from a divorced family, and I have to say, my life improved immensely when my parents separated! Before they fought all the time, slept separately, it was just not healthy for anyone involved! I think the parents need to grow up and figure out the best way to work it out maturely. If they can separate and have an agreement to both be able to still be ACTIVELY in the kids' lives than I think that is the more healthy option. If they are drifting apart but still can live together and get along, maybe they can find a way to work that out for a little while, but not for long. It's not a matter of being selfish. In my household, everyone's happiness is contingent on everyone else's happiness. I'm not saying we can bring each other down- I'm saying that if one person is not happy, the rest of us will do whatever we can to try to make that person happy. It would get pretty frustrating if certain members of the family were just never happy.

If the parents do not get along and fight all the time then it would be better if one of them left. It maybe hard to come from a broken home but all the fighting and yelling all the time makes for a very stressful life. What kind of life is that for the children listening to their parents fighting and yelling all the time? The children will definitely be scarred from living in a home where the parents do not get along.

I have a friend who is in exactly the same situation that you have described.She rushed into a love marriage with a man much older to her.Till the first daughter was born everything was fine but soon cracks started appearing.A few years later they had another daughter who is suffering from learning disability. However their marriage started to crumble since both were headstrong, obstinate and strong willed. Now the husband who is a successful businessman and having pots of money coldshoulders her but has given her enough liberty to do waht she likes and go where she wants. The children love their father and are attached to him as he adores them very much.However they don`t care for their mother nor does she care for them. She wants to go seperate but does not have funds to live alone.She is locked into this marriage and has now given up hope of leaving them. Husband and wife are never together except when he has business dinners where they try to present themselves as a happy couple. Moreover they are continuing together just for their childrens sake and when the girls are finally sttled then i suppose they will seperate. I feel sorry for the lady but she refuses to see that part of the fault rests with her and blames her husband for everything that has happened.It is commendable that the couple have decided to stay together till their children are married but after that i do not know what will happen.She will be in trouble since all the money is with her husband and he will certainly not give her anything.

I'm not being abused, mentally or physically? Nobody's cheating on anybody? Sounds like a relationship that could be worked on to me. I would put in the effort to make the relationship a better one for me, for the sake of my children. They*need* a happy family.

I think I must stay becusy I am man

If I was in a decent relationship but I wasn't happy marriage guidance might help. If my partner was violent for mine and my children's safety splitting up would be the best option. I know that a vacation together might put the sparkle back into the relationship. I would try to stay in the marriage and get some help from relationship guidance. If I attempted a vacation and marriage guidance I would suggest a trial separation for one month. Then I would sit down with my partner and discuss things like had we missed each other. I would make sure my children are not hurt by me thinking about what would be best for the future of my family. I would remember marriages have their ups and downs.