Stairs make me nervous!!!
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
December 12, 2011 8:00pm CST
I was never worried about my kids going up and down stairs until my 4th child was born. For some reason when he was born I had this overwhelming fear that I was going to fall down the stairs while carrying him. When he got walking I worried even more about the stairs, even though I had them gated off with baby gates. I always worried he'd push the gate down and fall down the stairs.
I always think the worst when it comes to stairs. Even if it is only a couple of steps, I always get nervous when I see a child playing on or near stairs because I think they will fall.
I haven't had to worry too much about it over the past couple of years. We lived in a small place that did not have stairs.
But now we have moved into a house with stairs.. and these stairs are terrifying!! There are no rails at the top of the stairs, no banisters or posts.. it's just a big hole in the floor! If I step out of my bedroom without watching my footing I could just fall down to the first floor. I have to walk around the hole to where the stairs begin on the other side of the hall..
My kids have to come down 2 little steps out of their room, then down the flight of stairs to get to the first floor.
It is very scary for me, and I've been making a huge fuss about the kids not going up and down stairs often, and the little 2 getting help when they need to go up or down stairs. Actually.. I made them sleep downstairs our first night here.. then last night I finally let them sleep upstairs in their bed, but since then I've only let them go upstairs to go to bed. This morning I woke them up early so that I could help them down the stairs before they woke up on their own and tried to come down without help. Even though I have told them a dozen times to make sure they get help before they go near the stairs, I still worry that they won't wait for help and might fall.
I had hubby install a railing to hold onto while going up and down the stairs, but we spent all our money on moving in and cannot afford the posts and banisters for the upstairs portion yet.
Even with railings upstairs, I would still be worried about them falling down the stairs.
I know I didn't worry like this before the 4th was born. We moved into a house with stairs when the twins were 3, and I never worried about them going up and down the stairs. I'm sure they tripped a couple of times.. but no major injuries, and I did not make a fuss about helping them come down the stairs.
I really don't know why I'm suddenly so paranoid about stairs. None of my kids have ever fallen down stairs, but they still make me very nervous! I cannot stop worrying about the youngest 2 possibly getting hurt. Even now when they are upstairs tucked into bed, I worry that they might get up in the night and come downstairs for something and hurt themselves. But hubby thinks I'm nuts.
Are you nervous about stairs? At what age do you let your kids go up and down stairs unsupervised without help?
4 people like this
13 responses
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
15 Dec 11
I think you're just being a parent! Always seeing the danger in everyday things. I think I do it sometimes, even with my eleven year old. And most specially with my 5-year old. Although I don't show it all the time, I worry about the things my kids could get into. Not just stairs.
We have stairs in our house, but they are carpeted. And the landing at the bottom of the stairs is also carpetted, so I don't have to worry much about that. But there are areas in our house that have sharp corners that I worry when the kids go running around.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Dec 11
I worried about sharp corners when they were 1-2 years old.. but now I don't worry so much.. if they bump into one they'll learn not to run near the object anymore, huh?
These stairs were carpeted, but I had hubby rip up the carpeting before we moved in. I thought the carpeting would make the stairs more slippery causing more falls.
So far only the 9 yo son has fallen down the stairs.. twice actually, but it was just a slip onto his bottom.. not a tumble thank goodness. I yell at them all the time to be more careful.
The day I started this discussion (2 days ago now?) I moved the youngest 2 boys into the downstairs bedroom which is more convenient for them. Not only do they not have to go upstairs for anything, their room has a door leading to the bathroom, the other door leading to the living room. So it works out perfectly for everyone.. them and me!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
17 Dec 11
I am guessing they will have a few more spills in the future, but as long as no damage is done.. Oddly I don't worry so much about the older kids, just the little ones.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I have never lived in a house w/stairs so that is one worry i never had, thank heavens. I can understand about u worrying about your children being safe no matter what the reason is. Hope u can soon get them made safer.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Dec 11
LOL! Well, once things are all cleaned up and we're settled in, I see this house being very good for all of us. So far the kids are really loving it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Dec 11
When we left the last house I swore we'd never live in a home with stairs again. Alas...
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
14 Dec 11
We have to eat our words many times. The reason i'm so fat is i have had to eat a bunch of mine, lol.
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I have lived in houses with stairs for over thirty five years now, and I am not nervous. I do understand that when you develop a fear in pregnancy it sometimes is hard to get rid of. This house is pretty good with railings and stuff, my first one, where the kids were little was not. My son did fall down them twice before we built a solid baby gate at the top. My daughter and her family live in a house that has half its living space in the basement, so they have stairs and they keep the door at the top closed. At this time all the bedrooms are on the main floor though. With my kids, by the time they were interested in crawling up the stairs, we taught them to sit on their bottoms and slide down. This was at about nine months old. They would not copy me, but they would copy their dad, so he is the one who taught them how to come down safely. The way you describe your stairs reminds me of a friend's house. They built all the way around the stairway with a bannister, and put a gate in the side to go down. Their bedrooms were in the basement but the living room and kitchen were upstairs. I think you will be fine, but I can see where you needed to vent about this.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I'll build a railing as soon as we can afford to, and it will go around the 3 sides of the stairs. I won't do a babygate at this point because the youngest is nearly 4.
The only thing that is upstairs is the bedrooms, so for now I can keep them downstairs as much as possible except when they go to bed.
I also have a downstairs bedroom. It was FIL's room, but he is not coming back home now. I've been planning on giving that room to the youngest 2.. but it will take some time. We have to move FIL's things out and do something about the walls. Overall the room is fairly clean. It was the first room we worked on when we started planning on moving in.. because even then I knew I wanted the boys in it. But then we decided to move FIL's things into that room so he wouldn't have to deal with the stairs anymore.
Maybe this weekend I will try to work on that room and move the boys into it. It has 2 doors, one leading to the living room and the other leading to the bathroom. So it's the perfect room for the little 2. Then they'd have no need to go upstairs at all and I can stop worrying completely!
I don't worry as much about the older ones, just the younger 2.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169479)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I am sorry FIL does not get to come home. You have had a lot of changes, so I can see how you would worry.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Dec 11
This is an old house. My in laws bought it more than 20 years ago. It never had banisters. I will get them when I can afford to. For now I moved the younger boys downstairs so I don't worry about them anymore.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
13 Dec 11
Mine are very steep and I have fallen down them too many times. The last time I really got hurt. I pulled a muscle in my back and couldn't even work. It took a good two weeks before I could walk decent. You have the right to be scared. I don't think you are being paranoid or anything....they are your kids and you are protecting them. It will put you more at ease when you can afford a railing......So yes. I get nervous about stairs. In fact I would love to have my friend and her husband stay here again but last time he fell down the stairs and now I also am seriously afraid of someone falling down them!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Dec 11
You poor thing! Why haven't you considered moving into a smaller place without stairs?
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 11
I have always been nervous about stairs - almost paranpid. Even to this day I am nervous when descending a staircase. sometimes it is bad that I as a person to hold my arm whilst I cling on to the handrail.
They are always so obliging. it is not an age thingy but from childhood. when I was about 5 years old, we explored asn old 11th century castle where we then lived and relatives were with us. One relative, thinking it was fun, (an older cousin - about 15 years old) picked me up and held me over the top of the castle as if to drop me. I could not stop screaming with fear and the idiot thought it funny.
I just cannot get rid of the fear. We did not live in a house with stairs on the farm so I do not have that worry. But I sure as hell worried when we visited the U.K. about the stairs and would hover over the children constantly. I do hope that this is the priority. How is your FIL?
They are always so obliging. it is not an age thingy but from childhood. when I was about 5 years old, we explored asn old 11th century castle where we then lived and relatives were with us. One relative, thinking it was fun, (an older cousin - about 15 years old) picked me up and held me over the top of the castle as if to drop me. I could not stop screaming with fear and the idiot thought it funny.
I just cannot get rid of the fear. We did not live in a house with stairs on the farm so I do not have that worry. But I sure as hell worried when we visited the U.K. about the stairs and would hover over the children constantly. I do hope that this is the priority. How is your FIL?@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Dec 11
Since I got no sleep at all last night because I could not stop worrying about the boys, I plan on attacking the downstairs bedroom tonight in hopes of getting the youngest 2 boys moved down there so I might get some sleep at night.
FIL is not doing well. A nurse mentioned today that he might be bleeding into his brain, but there's nothing they can do because he is a DNR and is dying anyway. The kids are going to visit him tomorrow to do a little Christmas thingy with him. Hubby is hoping FIL makes it that long. I will keep you posted.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
14 Dec 11
LOL, I did get a giggle out of that! Thanks. That was so funny.
Well, I moved the boys downstairs with the help of the older kids. No more sleepless nights for me! I am so much more relaxed now and might actually sleep in a little in the morning!
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
13 Dec 11
I sent you a very off colour email that I hope will make you laugh and so relieve some of the stress you are going through. Thinking of you
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
13 Dec 11
Well, I am not scared of stairs…at least not yet! But the kind of arrangement you mention would have scared anybody…it’s the most unsafe thing I’ve heard of in a house…a stair with no railings or guards is just inviting disaster for anybody, not just the kids. The house where my son grew up just had a few steps so he could just crawl over them from the time he started crawling all over the house. Just dirty knees and palm but nothing serous.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
13 Dec 11
I have no stairs built yet, and get from the ground to first floors of my house using a ladder or by climbing. Needless to say that my youngest isn´t allowed to do so unsupervised! I´ve got so used to it that I onlý realised how odd it was when I went to show some visitors the first floor, disappeared up the wall myself (there´s a handy ledge you can put your foot on half way up!) then wondered why they hadn´t followed ;-)
To solve your problem, could you teach your youngest two how to go up stairs on their knees and down stairs on their bottoms? When my kids were learning to negotiate stairs that´s how I got them to do it whilst I wasn´t around.
If it´s not possible to gate the stairs themselves, could you gate the youngest two kids into their bedroom at night to prevent them wandering onto the stairs in the morning? They´ll soon alert you when they´re up and about and you can open the gate and supervise them coming down those stairs.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Dec 11
I plan on moving the youngest 2 downstairs, probably this weekend. I'm hardly sleeping because I'm so worried about the potential dangers. Last night my kids were tucked safely into bed but I could not sleep because I kept imagining them waking up before me and falling down the stairs. I did hear something fall and you should have seen how quickly I shot out of bed.. but it wasn't a kid, something had fallen downstairs.. probably cats knocking things around. After that every little noise startled me and made me listen and a few times I got out of bed to check on things. The only thing I was worried about though was those boys.. so I'm going to get to work on cleaning out the downstairs bedroom so I can put them in there and perhaps get some peace!
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Dec 11
im so sorry. i know how something like that can plague you. i never worried about it and now i wonder why i didnt. when the kids were little. they are grown now but when my youngest was 4yrs. we lived by a lake for a while and i was a constant mess. i scared him into thinking there was a monster in the lake yes its wrong but i couldnt help it. not knowing if the older kids would keep him in site when outside. 
sadly you cant do that. 
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
I could understand about this fear.
Our old home is a bungalow type so there's no stairs.
When we constructed our new house, it's two storey one.
My youngest is only 2 years old when we moved to our new house and i feel the same fear that he might fall.
Though there's also a gate and railings and everything- but the fear still there.
Thanks, they're are grown ups now and none ever fall from the stairs...and hope none forever.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
16 Dec 11
You know, stairs was one of the first things that I made sure that my children would be able to learn to do. As soon as both of my children started to show the interest in the stairs I would follow right behind them while they worked on getting up the stairs and I also taught them to go down the stairs on their bottoms when they were little as well.
For that reason, I haven't worried about them with stairs since they were really small and first learning to use the stairs.
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
13 Dec 11
I have never been scared for my daughter being around the stairs or bein her up or down the stairs. She is 10 and half months now. The only tome I was a little scared was musket carrying her in her car seat up and down the stairs. I'm not even scared walking up and down the stairs with my daughter being pregnant again.
