Sorrow, putting it out there

@GardenGerty (131472)
United States
February 20, 2021 7:38am CST
I have alluded to the fact that my son is in jail. He did something wrong, but not violent. It is possible he will go to prison for the rest of his life as he had a conviction ten years ago. I have more grief now than when his dad died. In the last few years, his marriage has kept him from visiting, and being a helper. It was breaking up and he moved here for a couple of weeks. That was such a blessing. I have likely not seen him more than ten times in the last seven years, even when we lived nearby. It was not allowed. Just giving some reference here--the person who I was "helping move" is to be my former daughter-in-law. She is not a mentally healthy and fit person and she becomes estranged from her own family and calls and texts me a lot. She thinks I need to do a lot of the removal of my son's stuff. I think her mom is going to be involved now. He tended to hoard, and so does she. She demanded to have his cat back. Now all three cats are living outdoors, and not being fed. They will not come to us, or I would rescue them. She would not give me access to his things three months ago, when it was nice. Now we are in bad weather and she needs the house cleared fast. So that you know I am not doing this all alone, my brother and my daughter are both going to come and help me next weekend. I have felt trapped as I do not always have well working cars. I drive an hour to move the stuff. I may not be here much for a while.I do not have much to talk about that I can share.I may just read and respond. I do appreciate your prayers, kind thoughts, etc. I do not know what else to say.
21 people like this
20 responses
@Juliaacv (53309)
• Canada
20 Feb
You are a good and loving person Heather, both your son as well as his soon to be ex wife are lucky to have you in their lives. They need your level headed thinking as well as your big heart. Please reach out if you need anything.
6 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
20 Feb
It has been a complicated road. I am glad to have at least mentioned it now so that people know that things are mixed up right now.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (53309)
• Canada
21 Feb
@GardenGerty You have alot of really good friends here Heather, who, like myself, will be relieved to know that you are working thru things.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
21 Feb
@Juliaacv Yes, we will make it through.
1 person likes this
@rakski (80578)
• Philippines
20 Feb
At least you got to express this. I think you have been keeping this for a while. I hope that everything will be okay in God's time.
5 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
20 Feb
My daughter reminds me that God gives us what we need. Yes, I have been keeping this three or four months.
1 person likes this
@rakski (80578)
• Philippines
21 Feb
@GardenGerty I remember you mentioning it. May God embrace you and your family always
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
21 Feb
@rakski Thank you my friend.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (34003)
• United States
20 Feb
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of that. I hope in time everything will turn out to be okay for you. I sure know how it feels to lose contact with people you love. I am dealing with that myself. All we can do is hope and pray things will turn around for the good some day. You are not alone. Believe me.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
I am sorry that you are dealing with loss as well. This covid thing makes it even worse.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (36770)
• Marion, Ohio
20 Feb
Wishing you the best. For the cats, get a live trap or 2 if you can and put some canned cat food in it. Set it near where you know they go to. Maybe you can get them then. They should tame back down once inside again.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Two of them will go to a farm. Hopefully we will get Angel kitty back and she will settle well here.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (36770)
• Marion, Ohio
23 Feb
@GardenGerty Fingers crossed
@BarBaraPrz (30027)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
20 Feb
Courage, my friend.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Oh, I am trying to be brave and strong.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (30027)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
23 Feb
@HazySue (37087)
• Inverness, Florida
20 Feb
I am sending prayers and good thoughts. Anything that involves our children hurts our hearts. I am sorry to hear about what has been going on. If you need someone to talk to... Keep up your spirits up, hopefully all will turn out well.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
We will try to find some good. It is there but we have to look.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79604)
• India
20 Feb
Our prayers are with you and your family. Hugs.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Oh, Vanny, thank you.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (219652)
• United States
21 Feb
I’m so sorry to hear this. Prayers that your son will not be imprisoned for life. It’s good to get this off your chest, Heather.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
21 Feb
It clears the way for me to talk about more things.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (219652)
• United States
21 Feb
@GardenGerty Feel free. We are here for you and all friends.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
@DianneN That is another reason I love it at myLot.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (82053)
• El Paso, Texas
20 Feb
I pray that everything goes the way you would like. I also pray your son will not be imprisoned for life.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
20 Feb
I think by the end of the month I will say that whatever is done is done. My brother encourages me to remember the courts often try to scare people.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (82053)
• El Paso, Texas
20 Feb
Hopefully it's a matter of scaring him rather than putting him away for so long @GardenGerty
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
@rebelann I would hope.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (117932)
• Nashville, Tennessee
20 Feb
So sorry about the issues. You can message any time if you need to talk. Hope it goes better than you think. You are a great person to help in their lives.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
20 Feb
I think of you and how long I have known you and how you have grieved.Thank you for the kind words.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (117932)
• Nashville, Tennessee
20 Feb
@GardenGerty Thank you Heather. I will grieve until I die. I am always here.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (110800)
• Israel
23 Feb
@GardenGerty I am so so sorry it sounds like a real mess. That is too bad that the cats will not come to you so you can rescue them. She does not sound very stable expecting you to clear things out in bad weather. I am glad you have help in this and are not alone in dealing with it. It must be very hard for you right now. I am so so sorry. You said all there is to say and very understandable that you need to deal with this mess and cannot come here. Just take care and I hope it all works out.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Thank you for your heartfelt care. She is not stable. I know she is hurt as well, but she had problems before. I am keeping as many things normal as I can. I love my job right now and my online friends.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (110800)
• Israel
23 Feb
@GardenGerty You are so welcome. She sounds like she has problems. I am glad that you have a job that you like and like your online friends.
@paigea (33288)
• Canada
23 Feb
I am sending you good wishes. I have experienced some similar events. Take care.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Thank you. I am sorry anyone has experienced this.
1 person likes this
@paigea (33288)
• Canada
23 Feb
@GardenGerty Yes, not what we hope to have in common.
@BelleStarr (57712)
• United States
21 Feb
I will keep you and your son in my prayers. You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation and it doesn't matter what our children do, it doesn't change the fact that we love them. Nothing ever changes that.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
Exactly. And there are so many times I could have tried to get him out of the situation, but a grown up child would never listen.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (57712)
• United States
22 Feb
@GardenGerty We can only do so much and then it's prayers!!
@much2say (47162)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Feb
I am sorry it is / has been a difficult time. You are a wonderful to be doing as much as you do - I hope it all works out. Lots of hugs going out to you . . . keeping you in my thoughts.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Sometimes I do not WANT to be wonderful. Thank you for the hugs and thoughts.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47162)
• Los Angeles, California
23 Feb
@GardenGerty You have a good heart, you really do. We are listening here whenever you are in need of ears. You will make it through this .
22 Feb
I am very sorry. That all has to be so hard. I am glad your brother and daughter are helping you. Sometimes, life can really kick us in the tail. Take care of yourself, sending you a big hug.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
Thank you. I am waiting to come out on the other side, life is strange.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (39539)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
21 Feb
I am sorry to hear this and my blessings and prayers are with you, I hope it can all be sorted out, Virtual hugs,
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
23 Feb
Thank you. I appreciate that you are always ready to pray for those who hurt and are needy.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (239081)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Feb
My heart breaks for you. What a difficult time. I'm glad you have some help but what a shame the moving couldn't have been done when the weather was better. I really feel for you. Sending prayers and positive thoughts. And hugs.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
Awe, thank you. It is complex and I am ready to be past this phase.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (89232)
• India
20 Feb
Good you opened up. Hope you got some relief doing that.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
It does help.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (31364)
• United States
20 Feb
Prayers for you and your family.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
22 Feb
Thank you. And thank you for helping distract with your posts and trips.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66200)
• Italy
20 Feb
This is an awful situation and my heart goes out to you
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (131472)
• United States
20 Feb
Thank you MysD. I know that people care.
1 person likes this