He is gone!
By Lena Kovadlo
@lovebuglena (43059)
Staten Island, New York
May 11, 2022 5:35pm CST
It feels so surreal to know that my dad is no longer with us. 
He passed away on the morning of May 10th at 70 years of age. He would have been 71 June 29th.
It hurts that he is gone but at least he is in peace now. No more suffering. No more pain.
It's gonna be a very hard day for me tomorrow. It's not easy now either. I try to hold it together but it's hard. I have breakdowns where I start crying and can't stop.
He will be put to rest in a cemetery by my house, the same place where his parents are buried. And my maternal grandpa and his brother and brother's wife. So he will always be close to me distance-wise. I will be able to stand on a hill next to my house and talk to him, without going to his grave.
You will always be in my heart papa!
He passed away on the morning of May 10th at 70 years of age. He would have been 71 June 29th.
It hurts that he is gone but at least he is in peace now. No more suffering. No more pain.
It's gonna be a very hard day for me tomorrow. It's not easy now either. I try to hold it together but it's hard. I have breakdowns where I start crying and can't stop.
He will be put to rest in a cemetery by my house, the same place where his parents are buried. And my maternal grandpa and his brother and brother's wife. So he will always be close to me distance-wise. I will be able to stand on a hill next to my house and talk to him, without going to his grave.
You will always be in my heart papa!24 people like this
25 responses
@Vikingswest1 (6305)
• United States
11 May 22
My sincere condolences.
It's a hard thing to lose a parent. When my dad passed, he was awful sick so like you, there was a bit of relief mixed in with the sadness.
He wasn't in pain anymore. Lost and gone, but free from his daily battle to live.
It DOES get better over time but afford yourself a few breakdowns. They are a healthy way to grieve.
So sorry for your loss.
4 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
11 May 22
Thank you. My dad was in the hospital for over a month before he passed. I never imagined his passing away not in his sleep in his own bed. That's how my grandma (his mom) left.
3 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
11 May 22
@Vikingswest1 I hope to go in my sleep as well. My dad was on a ventilator. So terrible.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
11 May 22
@CarolDM It still feels a bit surreal.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
11 May 22
I remember us going mushroom foraging. It was one of his favorite things to do. And mine.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203454)
• Nashville, Tennessee
11 May 22
@lovebuglena Keep talking abut these times if it helps. I know it helps me when I remember the happy times.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. It’s hard to wrap my head around this.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (57364)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
11 May 22
Losing a parent or loved one is never easy, but at least he's never really that far from you and you can talk to him when you want. I wish you the best of luck with putting him in his final resting place.
2 people like this
@kaylachan (57364)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 May 22
@lovebuglena I know he will be. The ones we love are never far from our hearts. So sorry, that was just yesterday, right?
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. He will always be close to me I hope.
2 people like this
I wish you healing.@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
11 May 22
Thank you. Trying not to completely fall apart.
2 people like this
@Ladanger (14582)
• United States
11 May 22
@lovebuglena the mylot community is here for you 
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28225)
•
11 May 22
I am very sorry. I know how hard it is. Try to remember the good times when you can.
You are going to break down and that's ok, it's normal, just cry it out and it will help in the end. Take care of yourself.
3 people like this
@MALUSE (69416)
• Germany
11 May 22
@lovebuglena Crying is ok. Don't be ashamed of it.
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36391)
• Toccoa, Georgia
11 May 22
I'm very sorry to read this. Age 70 is not old.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Yeah. I was hoping he’d at least make it to his birthday.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
Thank you. Covid got me last week so I wasn't even able to be sad because I felt like crap. Still not 100% back to normal.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (457412)
• Switzerland
20 May 22
@lovebuglena I am so sorry Lena, Covid also got my niece and her baby girl. I hope you can fully recover soon.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457412)
• Switzerland
21 May 22
@lovebuglena - Someone surely was positive and contaminated the others.
@1creekgirl (40411)
• United States
12 May 22
Oh Lena, I am so very sorry. You will always have those special memories of him.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. Gonna try to look back on things we did together.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. Tomorrow will tough for sure.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. Still hard to believe. Have the urge to call him but know I can’t.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. All I wanna do is cry.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (74419)
• East Tawas, Michigan
12 May 22
When my father passed away, I have an empty space within my heart. Noone else can ever fill that place! Yet, he's in heaven with the Lord! I'm sorry that your father was taken, at an early age:(
Yet, he's in heaven with the Lord! I'm sorry that your father was taken, at an early age:(1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
Thank you! Gone too soon. But at least he is at peace. Now I wonder if keeping on a ventilator for over a month was a good idea in the end.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
@kobesbuddy That's the thing. It didn't seem like he was doing better.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (74419)
• East Tawas, Michigan
19 May 22
@lovebuglena At any time, he might have done a turn around, physically. It could have happened, but it didn't.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. He went on his own so we did not have to make that difficult choice...
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169618)
• United States
19 May 22
@lovebuglena I imagine it will be that way for quite some time.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
Thank you. Still surreal. His phone is still in my contacts. I am tempted to call him and then realize there is no one to call.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (86511)
• United States
30 May 22
The only good is that he is nearby you still RIP dear Lenas Dad
@RebeccasFarm (86511)
• United States
30 May 22
@lovebuglena Oh no you dont Lena ..that would not be nice to keep seeing
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
30 May 22
@RebeccasFarm My mom was taking those kinds of pics of Dad for someone who asked for them. I hope she removed all of them from her phone. She doesn't need to see those.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
30 May 22
Thank you! I had an image of my dad on my phone from the hospital where he is connected to that damn ventilator. I guess my mom must have sent it to me at one point. I deleted that. Don't want that in my possession.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
12 May 22
I'm very sorry to know this. (I was afraid this was going to happen when we were talking a few days ago.)
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
12 May 22
@lovebuglena You're very welcome. I hope he passed peacefully. (When my parents passed away they both went peacefully. Dad had a heart attack in his sleep and mom had a stroke and passed while still unconscious.)
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
@DaddyEvil Oh no! That's terrible. Not sure if he passed away peacefully or not but he definitely suffered in that hospital.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
12 May 22
Thank you. A terrible loss but at least he is no longer suffering. And we are not faced with the tough choice of turning off ventilator or not. He went on his own.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
Yes. I was hoping that we'd at least get to celebrate his 71st birthday but didn't work out that way.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (129379)
• Israel
12 May 22
@lovebuglena
That is natural that you would have periods where you would cry off and can't stop. I am so so sorry for your loss. He was young and so close to his 71st birthday. I am so glad you will be able to talk to him when you want. I lost my grandfather when I was 14 years old and still miss him so much today.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
This is not how I imagined my dad's life would end.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (129379)
• Israel
22 May 22
@lovebuglena
I am so so sorry. That must be very hard for you and he was young too.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155562)
• United States
12 May 22
I am so sorry, Lena. I am glad that he's free of that ventilator. My condolences to your family. Sending prayers and thoughts.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
19 May 22
Mom told me she asked grandma (his mom) to take him with her and the next day he was gone. Made it easier for us. We didn't have to make that ventilator decision.
2 people like this
@lovebuglena (43059)
• Staten Island, New York
20 May 22
@LindaOHio Definitely made things easier for us though it was very heartbreaking when we rushed to the hospital in hopes to catch him still alive and we were about 15 minutes too late.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155562)
• United States
20 May 22
@lovebuglena That's so sad. I would not have wanted to make that decision.
2 people like this
