I’m so sad for my son on his birthday today
@shaggin (71663)
United States
October 18, 2022 11:43am CST
Sunday my stepson and husband went to a sporting goods store to get their hunting license but the registration for it was down state wide.
They got ready Monday morning to leave and when they went to load the beagles up my husband saw my stepson hadn’t been giving the beagles water so he yelled at him and told him he wasn’t going on the trip.
After he cooled down about 10 minutes later he reinvited him but my stepson didn’t want to go with him so he went to school.
I told my daughter to the allergist where they said she is not allergic to milk.
When I got home my husband was here. The system was still down so he was staying here for the night. I feel like that’s karma for planning a camping trip and not being here for his stepsons (my sons birthday).
The system came back online around 4 so he said he would just leave in the morning.
I told him he should at least stay for cake and ice cream and he said he just wouldn’t go at all if he was going to do that because he has to be back by Saturday to take people pheasant hunting.
He told me today to do cake right after school then he’s leaving. I said he wasn’t going to be here so I planned for my family to come over at 6:30 so it’s not just my daughters, my son and I. He cursed and said he’s not waiting around and he just left.
What a horrible stepfather. I’m so hurting for my son. I wish his father hadn’t died so someone who actually cares about him would be here.
Photo is the results of the allergy test on my baby girls back.
22 people like this
23 responses
@CarolDM (203454)
• Nashville, Tennessee
18 Oct 22
I will only say to be there for your son. Love and support him. You are blessed to have him. I miss mine every single day. Life is hard. But we have to make the best out of it. I wish the situation was different as well. But we have to play the cards we are dealt in life. Thoughts are with you all for better days.
5 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45472)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Oct 22
Yes, he's horrible, but you knew that when you married him. We here at the 'Lot care about your son and hope he could enjoy his birthday anyway.
3 people like this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
18 Oct 22
@BarbaraPrz I didn’t realize how selfish he was then for some reason. It took him telling me I was ruining his summer by not wanting to take the baby to the family reunion the day before her surgery and not wanting to take her to his companies picnic at an amusement park two weeks after her surgery. This is just one more things he’s showing he’s selfish. Makes me upset he’s showing his son it’s okay to put his fun ahead of his stepsons birthday.
2 people like this
@stringer321 (5643)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
19 Oct 22
@shaggin That was very selfish of him, why did the baby need a surgery ?
Does he help you and take care of your son and daughter sometimes ?
2 people like this
@stringer321 (5643)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
19 Oct 22
Don't the Beagles have their own bawl of water so they can drink whenever they want ?
I know how it feels to be shouted at. My dad also shouted at me when I did wrong things, not fun -_-.
I think it is biologically built in our D.N.A, maybe children in the far past didn't survive if their parents didn't scream at them because the children didn't learn to watch out.
Your husband had no right to shout at your son, even if your son had made a mistake.
Isn't there any more useful and helpful activity to do instead of killing pheasants ?
I know those birds are not a part of the ecosystem, and are considered as invading species, but, still, why shooting and why not for example, having traps that can be activated by will and remote control, to catch only the unnecessary birds, and take them somewhere else...
Why did you choose him, if you say he is not a good stepfather ?
2 people like this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@stringer321 they all have their own buckets of water but each one was completely empty so my stepson hadn’t given them water for some time.
I’ve never screamed at my children for anything. My father screamed at me a lot. My husband yelled at his son not my son but it doesn’t make it any better.
They don’t move them to another area because they are killing then to eat them. I’m a vegetarian I don’t like hunting.
Many things we don’t really know about people until we live with them for awhile. Would I marry him if I could go back in time. I’m not sure. I wouldn’t have my sweet baby girl if I didn’t know so that makes it harder to say. Him not being here for my sons birthday is unforgivable.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@stringer321 I hate animals having to live outside. We have two indoor doors and 5 that live outside that are his hunting dogs. I think it’s wrong to get animals and make them live out there and not be able to be members of the family like the two indoor dogs we have.
Your second paragraph is so true. My son used to yank his hand out of mine and dart across parking lots. It was terrifying.
1 person likes this
@stringer321 (5643)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
19 Oct 22
@shaggin I see. Thank you for the clarifications. In my house, we had the dog with us, with the water and food bawl next to the door so we always saw it. I used to take the dog for a walk 3 times a day, it was like a young brother to me :-)
Educating the children is complicated. Sometimes the parent feels the urge to shout at them if they do something risky, for example, running to the road, where the cars move fast...the smart thing to do is to find how to teach them the right thing so they learn it and never do the mistake again.
Getting to know people is very tricky, they change their behavior in different surroundings, they learn from each other, they have limits in some place, and have no limits when they are somewhere else.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@Ladyduck it was just 3 tiny pokes all at the same time. Then after 15 minutes they checked the spots. I’ve given her 2 ounces of formula in with the soy milk yesterday with every bottle and she also had ice cream and no rash at all. I’m guessing then it was whatever they used in the sutures in her throat that caused it.
It would have been great if the system went down and he still couldn’t go hunting after driving back up there but he would have come home again and been really miserable so it’s just as well he’s gone. When he comes home in a great mood and wants to tell me all about his trip I won’t listen to it I’m so disgusted by what he did.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@LadyDuck yep you can’t even see now where she had it done but there is a light marker left from their marker.
Yesterday he texted me when he arrived which is good I always l worry when my loved ones are away on trips driving that something will happen. But I don’t care to hear from him the rest of the time. Usually he texts me when he’s away in the morning when he goes to town for coffee and has cell service. So far nothing and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet 
.
.1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (457809)
• Switzerland
19 Oct 22
@shaggin - I hope your daughter is not in pain and the pokes marks are already fading.
You are right that he would have been in bad mood if he could not go, but he did something really not nice.
Tell him you are not interested to know what he has to say.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
19 Oct 22
Your son needs your love and care. You're not just a mom, you could be a father to him too.
Take care
Take care1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@hexeduser22 apparently he must think differently and it’s horrible. Nope he has a son who is 16. My daughter is 18 and my son is 15 and together we have a 2 year old daughter. I’ve always been more of a mother to his son then his own who only bothers to see him once a year.
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
19 Oct 22
@shaggin I'm not sure how your new husband thinks, but to me he should have accepted your whole family and not just you before you decided to tie the knot.
Is he a first time dad?
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36428)
• Toccoa, Georgia
19 Oct 22
I do hope your husband one day will look back with regret for not being there for his step son.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
20 Oct 22
@LeaPea2417 maybe when he’s old my son won’t help him out when he needs it that would be understandable I think and fair.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36428)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Oct 22
@shaggin yes, that would be fair.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
8 Nov 22
Most important thing is you were there for your son.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
8 Nov 22
@Courtlynn I know but it still is wrong what he did and makes me so upset. I’m not able to get past it. He is so selfish.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
9 Nov 22
@shaggin oh i know. I wouldn't either
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@Hannihar he did seem to have a good birthday. After school he opened his gifts from me. He wanted to wait until after to have something to look forward to about school getting over. Then at 5 when my oldest daughter got out of work we had Chinese for dinner that I ordered from town. At 6:30 my parents, my sister and her 4 kids and their siamese kitten came over. We had soda, cake and ice cream.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
18 Oct 22
Good that you are there for your son and you love and support him. Sooner or later he too would realise it and also find a way to deal and cope with his stepdad.
Life is not the way we want it to be, but the way it comes to us. We can only try to do our best. Sending positive vibes and thoughts for you and your son.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
18 Oct 22
@arunima25 I feel bad I brought someone into his life that would feel he isn’t important enough to be here for his birthday. My kids are my everything!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
19 Oct 22
@arunima25 he is 15. My son isn’t upset my husband wasn’t here but someone he will look back and see he must not have been cared about by my husband to do this.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (85265)
• Bangalore, India
19 Oct 22
@shaggin How old is he now?
I am sure that if you stay there for him, one day he will come to a mature and sensible stage to see things. It must be tough for him but then soon he will learn to cope. Life is the biggest teacher.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56302)
• Philippines
18 Nov 22
Bad stepfather. I don't want to add more insult to injury.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
18 Nov 22
@Nakitakona say what you want I agree he isn’t a good stepfather to do this!
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (56302)
• Philippines
21 Nov 22
@shaggin What else can you do than going with the tide...
1 person likes this
@Treborika (17245)
• Mombasa, Kenya
19 Oct 22
I hope you enjoyed your time wisely
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
20 Oct 22
@Treborika it was a hard day for me being so upset about my husband not being there for my sons birthday but my son seemed to have a good birthday so I’m happy for that.
1 person likes this
@Treborika (17245)
• Mombasa, Kenya
20 Oct 22
@shaggin Oh sorry for that. But he ought to be there to celebrate the birthday of your son together.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169828)
• United States
18 Oct 22
You be happy and positive and hopefully he will be too. It isn't the end of the world. For all you know he may not be crazy about your husband and his being or not being there, might not be a huge deal for him.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
18 Oct 22
@snowy22315 you hit the nail on the head! He didn’t want him here he thinks he’ll be weird and embarrassing around his friend. But I think someday he will look back and feel like he wasn’t cared about.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (169828)
• United States
18 Oct 22
@shaggin Maybe by him, but certainly by you.
1 person likes this
@Tina30219 (81540)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Oct 22
Sorry he is being this way I hope your son has a nice birthday don’t let your husband ruin it.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
18 Oct 22
@Tina30219 I’m more upset then my son is my son doesn’t care but I know someday he will look back and see he wasn’t cared about. It breaks my heart as he is such a great kid and has already lost his father and now being treated like this. Thank you for being there for me last night via Instagram messenger.
@Tina30219 (81540)
• Onaway, Michigan
18 Oct 22
@shaggin Glad to be there anytime you want to chat you know where I will be. That is not right your husband treats him this way
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48369)
• Canada
18 Oct 22
You are such an amazing and thoughtful mother.
I am sure that your son had just as good a father as he does a mother.
Don't force him to stay, it may result in your son having sad memories.
Enjoy who is there and realize that they are there because they love him and want to celebrate with him.
I am sorry for your daughter's allergies.
1 person likes this
@peachpurple (13880)
• Malaysia
19 Oct 22
What is the blue print on her back ? Try hydrocortisone cream good for allergy
1 person likes this
