The words that scare me

@vandana7 (95806)
India
March 9, 2023 6:29am CST
"Boring", and "Useless" You call me all sort of names, I will be able to realistically assess myself ..and tell me ..well, this does not apply to me, the person does not have the required vocabulary to express himself or herself. But if I were called boring or useless, I would have to think am I? And honest answer would be difficult for me ...to admit. Same with useless... Which are the regular words ...not abusive per se, yet that have seriously ugly and unhappy effect on us?
24 people like this
23 responses
@Shavkat (131287)
• Philippines
9 Mar
I do not want to be called a loser. It is not acceptable for me to be told like this.
7 people like this
• Kenya
9 Mar
It demoralizes so much
3 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
I agree...these are the words that need to be banned. Using f word as bad word or idjit as bad word doesn't make sense...because we all know we don't qualify there.
2 people like this
@marguicha (205096)
• Chile
9 Mar
@vandana7 I agree that some words need to be banned. I donĀ“t like at all the word "guilt". It is used too much and in many circumstances people end up with lack of self-esteem.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (438912)
• Switzerland
9 Mar
There is one word that I find ugly and it is "yummy", that sounds so childish to describe food appreciation.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
Aw...it is childish...I guess it is something to equate to mom...mummy..mum...what moms cook is after all loved by kids the best...it wouldn't damage psyche, would it?
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
@LadyDuck I couldn't want those words to be banned. Avoid...perhaps...calling another person boring or ugly or useless is more of a personal attack...
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (438912)
• Switzerland
9 Mar
@vandana7 It's childish, I think adults should avoid those words, particularly writing on a public site.
2 people like this
@just4him (278315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Mar
Words I hate are stupid and retarded. I was called both of those as a kid and I was neither. I'm still not. Boring and useless are bad too.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
I hate those too...because at times I am stupid. I prefer to declare myself as retarded at times...it spares me some work. LOL Seriously, I often have handful. I wish I could dump it all on others and simply listen to music. That is when I actually wish I was treated as a retard...so that no more work would fall upon me. Another time.............. when people are at meeting....fighting it out ..........I wish they would not.....but they do..........I wish I can come up with something unintelligible and really stupid...that kinda breaks the tense heated exchange.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
@just4him That I do understand...I guess I say I am ignorant or I cannot understand such things because I am not that smart...somethings like that. If I put in effort, I could. Or at times, I know I can but the workload would be too much ..and maybe I am shirking the work...who doesn't...I find it easier to pretend I am not smart. Or let others think I am not smart that is why I make some mistakes. LOL Most people are quite forgiving when they think I cannot learn things as well as them. I am the one having the last laugh. LOL
2 people like this
@just4him (278315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 Mar
@vandana7 I can understand what you're saying. Though I would never want to act or appear stupid or retarded. My parents considered me retarded until they had the school give me an IQ test. Nobody called me retarded after that. However, stupid stuck with me throughout my school life until I graduated. I'm not. I refuse to allow any member of my family to call anyone stupid or retarded.
2 people like this
@tom_view (6252)
• Kolkata, India
10 Mar
I can't take a "loser" tag
3 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Next time somebody says that to you....... I am not holding her, she is the one clutching on to me, so how can I loose her.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
13 Mar
@sjvg1976 I agree. But it is also a fact that most Indians have learned the word recently. It may even be new in the US. I don't recall ever having heard it even 20 odd years ago. When I suggested that he use it like that......the idea was to give the user of the word, inferiority complex about his/her pronunciation. If it is a man...he would suffer more inferiority complex for not having anybody so madly crazy about him. LOL If either of them has to explain the word, ...well....the impact is lost. These are one word insults. If you have to elaborate, they don't hold the negativity.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41968)
• Delhi, India
13 Mar
No one likes to be called loser.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20270)
• Philippines
9 Mar
I can be boring sometimes and I will admit I am especially when I don't have the enthusiasm to deal with topics or conversation, I just zip my lips.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
You want to know the truth? We all are boring at times. Depends upon which company we are in, and what mood we are in. But strangely, we don't like to admit that to ourselves.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
@simplfred I have often found me useless too. Duplicating my work...had an employee of mine done it like that, I would have flared up, but because I did it, the mistake is swallowed down. LOL...honesty..LOL
2 people like this
@simplfred (20270)
• Philippines
9 Mar
@vandana7 Yeah... For me, I can accept boring but not useless.
2 people like this
@Laurakemunto (12030)
• Kenya
9 Mar
When someone tells me to reason or think and yet am not on the wrong it shutters me down alot
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
Ahan..... this is comparatively simpler.... you gotta take 10 deep breaths, maybe 20....giving yourself time to define WHY you think you are right............then spill the beans. When there is lack of co-ordination between the brain and verbal conveyance...this does happen....brain often runs much ahead... The only time this situation can go out of hand is, when you are bound to protect somebody...else it will reflect badly on them...then it is a miserable situation...
2 people like this
• Kenya
9 Mar
@vandana7 but if the words come from a person close to you and acts like a perfectionist it hurts so much
2 people like this
• Kenya
9 Mar
@vandana7 I agree with you
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (146667)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Mar
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Boring and useless are harsh.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (146667)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Mar
@vandana7 ...........I would also consider the source.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
11 Mar
@celticeagle Hmmm...agreed.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Absolutely. Anybody saying how boring can you get would have me worried..
2 people like this
@sulynsi (2668)
• Canada
10 Mar
I've been following an app lately designed to help improve good habits and health - and one of the things it says can be a real drag on your enthusiasm is 'all or nothing' thought distortions. Labelling someone, even labelling ourselves as 'useless' is a thought distortion - probably the product of frustration. When self-directed, it can make motivation difficult and it is unkind to do it to others. I like the thought at Romans 12:3 'I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment..' so we need to be balanced - not putting ourselves (or others) on a pedestal, but not to denigrate either. Being reasonable and fair minded.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
That is such a profound thought...says it so perfectly.
1 person likes this
@much2say (52273)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Mar
I guess any "regular" words that are not meant to be a compliment can be hurtful. From my past: quiet, short, smart, skinny. It seems harmless, but if given in a negative context, it can be upsetting.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Problem is also that we do not realize we are having fun at others expense and hurting them in process. I have a good friend..former colleague ... who was and is quite bulky. He was not before his marriage. His wife is a great cook. That is the issue. Never mind...but once he mentioned he was flying to another city in the afternoon. Unwittingly I said, which part of the plane is leaving...everybody in the room started laughing including this friend. Sporting of him. Another person would have taken it as an offense. I should not have said that...I apologized..I hope nobody else follows the same rule..it was rude of me.
1 person likes this
@much2say (52273)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Mar
@vandana7 I know that type of scenario all too well. I joke with others as well. In fact I did tell my husband when we were dating that he would gain weight if he stayed with me with my cooking - and guess what, he did . We always joked about that and still do. But some people can handle that type of joking. Others are much more sensitive and can't . . . most times we can sense that. You know your good friend - and he probably knows your joking . . . it may have been ok with him. It was mindful of you to apologize though . . . sometimes we don't know how we may take a joke too far.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41968)
• Delhi, India
9 Mar
I won't mind if someone calls me boring or useless because I don't rely on what other say, I am what I am. I ignore such people because they are useless.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
But those are not bad words...technically. Schools don't tell you ...you should not use such words. myLot code does not ban such words.
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41968)
• Delhi, India
10 Mar
@vandana7 Yes they are not bad words but if you say someone useless then that person will try to analyse what he/she doesn't have. I am sure honestly the person will be sad if he/she hears it for him/herself.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (182898)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Mar
I have read that were most thankful for praise and most vulnerable to criticism, in areas in which we are uncertain. If someone said to me, "You're a lousy athlete," I would just laugh, because I am not. If they said, "You're not a very fast swimmer," But I am sensitive to comments about my voice, because I was insecure about my (solo) singing until a few years ago. All of that said, are you worried about becoming a bit bored/boring or even useless? I sure hope not!
2 people like this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Were you seeking a compliment hero? You know your voice is great...I have told you a couple of times you have Sinatra type of voice. If you don't believe me (this you should I am not pulling a fast one on you honest), try singing Killing me softly ..record on your newly acquired cell phone...listen to it...you would know I am not lying...I know you won't send it to me...you are so scared I will fall head over heels in love with you that you will not know where to run and hide...kidding, but you do have that kinda voice. Make use of it while you still can sing. There comes a time when life goes out of the voice...muscles start giving way...then it does not sound as nice. So sing those numbers today...before it is too late.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (13920)
• Raurkela, India
9 Mar
When someone calls me a psycho which I am not. In my young days I stopped working if someone called me negligent.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
We know we are not psycho...we know we are not negligent....LOL
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
@aninditasen Do we need such folks in our lives? Come on.................. If they said I am pyscho...I will say yes...that is why I am asking you to leave my house else I might murder you. LOL I have reached that stage with some type of folks.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (13920)
• Raurkela, India
10 Mar
@vandana7 We know that but some people want to drive those accusation hard.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (54361)
• Portugal
9 Mar
Both words have a very negative meaning.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
They can be delivered in life altering way...such that the person suffers with inferiority complex for lifetime.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
@nela13 True...depends upon when it is uttered too. Who utters it.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (54361)
• Portugal
10 Mar
@vandana7 Some get really affected by other words.
1 person likes this
@JimBo452020 (51733)
• Montrose, Scotland
10 Mar
Fat. Lazy. I'm chubby and work slowly.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
I too work slowly and I am fat in wrong places. Nothing wrong with being who we are is there? There are no speed standards...we have the required speed in some fields. That is all that matters.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
@JimBo452020 I am good at cleaning...I seem to be doing one thing here, and one thing there....kinda, no room seems to be clean...and suddenly the whole house becomes clean. LOL I like that...it seems magical. LOL
1 person likes this
@JimBo452020 (51733)
• Montrose, Scotland
10 Mar
@vandana7 When I am on my motorbikes I am not fat or slow lol That's me at home in my perfect space.
1 person likes this
@popciclecold (32742)
• United States
9 Mar
I would not like either of them either.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar
@vandana7 So true.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
I believe they would hurt the psyche...make the person under confident, unsure of self, and diffident. Serious damage. That kinda effect cannot be achieved with words like ugly, dumb, idjit, etc.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (64982)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
9 Mar
Two words I prefer not having in my vocabulary and certainly would never refer to others by,
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
There are banned words...but I feel these are more damaging than the banned words.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (311686)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Mar
Any negative words knock the stuffing out of me. I don't seem to have much resilience that way.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Me too...but I won't hold it for long. :)
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13725)
• United States
9 Mar
in my life ive been called many names and things. words dont bother at all.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
Nobody called you Jesus Christ?
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13725)
• United States
13 Mar
@vandana7 - the closect ive come to being called that is, "the lord".
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (52287)
9 Mar
No one has ever called me boring and useless - neither have l referred to anyone in that way. What l do know and accept is that no human being is perfect.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
9 Mar
Nobody has called me that either..... but to be honest, I have used those words on some..intentionally. When they were crossing their boundaries.
1 person likes this
@coldplay8 (5069)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
9 Mar
these are words that are commonly used by angry people but they should be more specific or clever, which they are not.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (95806)
• India
10 Mar
These words can hurt rather badly ..you know.