Failure or Victor

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I thought I would let you in on part of my life, the ugly side. I haven't always been a happy, positive person. I needed to work at it. I grew up the oldest child and daughter in a small town in Wisconsin, close to where I'm living now. Life wasn't easy when those who are supposed to love and nurture you treat you like you're the stupidest person on earth. They made me feel like a failure, like I would never amount to anything. I needed to prove to everyone that I was not what they thought I was. It was an uphill battle. For the first six years of school, not only was I called stupid by my peers and siblings, I was also called retarded. In fourth grade, I brought home my report card. So did my brother. Standing at the buffet in the dining room, I gave my report card to my mother. My brother also gave her his. Looking at them, my mother said I would never do better than the C's I got. However, she yelled at my brother because he didn't get A's and told him he could do better. How humiliating. I told myself I would prove to them I could and would get better than a C. It was an uphill battle. Especially when she believed I was retarded. At the end of sixth grade, I needed to go to summer school. Back then, it wasn't good to go to summer school. It was proof positive you were stupid. To prove her case, my mother had the principal give me an IQ test. Guess what? NOBODY called me retarded ever again. I came through that test with flying colors. Of course, I don't know what my IQ is, and it doesn't matter. Still, I had an uphill battle in front of me. I might not be retarded, but it didn't mean I wasn't stupid. Just look at my report cards and you could see I wasn't the smartest kid in the class. I fought hard for those C's. So, what have I achieved that shows I'm not a failure as my mother made me out to be? 1. I graduated in the top 10% of my class. True, there were only 81 students in my graduating class, but I still graduated in the top 10%. My guidance counselor told me that. 2. I took a course at the hospital as a nurse's aide. I passed with an A. I really wanted to be a nurse. It didn't happen. But I worked at the local hospital and a home for retarded people. Both jobs were rewarding in their way. They didn't last, but I got job experience. 3. I joined the Navy. I passed all the tests to get into the military. A Marine told me the Navy test was the hardest of all the branches of service. I don't know if that's true, but I needed to believe him. It made me feel awesome. So did putting on the uniform. 4. I got married. My mother said I would never get married. No one would want me. True, it didn't last, but I have three children, six grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. 5. I got my diploma as an offset press operator. It wasn't college, but it was a course held at the local high school in San Diego where we were living. 6. I went to college, a two-year technical college and got my associate's degree in architecture. When I graduated, I was .4 away from honors. The only thing that stopped me was the final math test I needed to do over because I bombed it the first time. If I hadn't needed to take it over, I would have graduated with honors. 7. I was Student Senate President in college. I loved every moment. We, the other officers and I, visited various campuses and had a blast. We also chose the entertainment for the following year. 8. I took a course from the Institute of Children's Literature. I passed that too with an A. I got letters wanting me to take advance work. I couldn't afford it. 9. I'm an author. I have nine published novels. I am NOT a failure. I'm a victor. Many people believe what others say about them to the point they say it to themselves. It leaves them in a constant state of negativity and depression. It is very hard for me to read about people who only think negatively about themselves when I see good in them. What kind of person are you? A failure or a victor? I choose to live a victorious life. Today I have a lot of help in my victorious life. I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior and Lord in 1980. It was the best decision I made in my life. With Jesus' help, I have no reason to be negative or a failure. I'm victorious! Thanks for reading. The image belongs to me. My wedding picture.