My friend is funny!

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My friend, let’s call her Emilia, was expecting a baby. She already has four children and the family are due to move to Scotland soon – they always seem to be juggling a ridiculous number of things at once! As well as all the family, her cousin and his wife normally live with them. She had persuaded them to go away for a while, but unfortunately they had come back before the baby appeared! Anyway the baby was due but nothing was happening, and the midwives were threatening induction, so Emilia decided that if nothing happened by Tuesday 22nd, (which was the last day of school for the other children), and faced with the choice between dealing with an induced labour while her cousin talked non-stop about cars (his favourite subject), or moving to a new house where they would have to sleep on the floor but at least they would be in their own place, she decided they would set off to Scotland. Of course nothing went quite according to plan, no-one was ready to set off straight after school, then they had to stop at her husband’s work to collect some things, so it was already evening by the time they were on the main road. And then finally something started to happen. She was too uncomfortable to carry on driving, so she asked her husband to take over. But then a bit later she decided that no, they would have to go home, so they turned around and drove back again. Of course everything was packed up, so they got fish and chips for everyone for dinner, then she arranged for her husband and older children to spend the night at a friend’s house. She called the midwife but told her ‘Don’t bother coming before 10:30pm’ because she couldn’t imagine giving birth ‘while everyone was fighting over the ketchup’ as she put it. Finally they were out of the way, the midwives arrived, and things started to progress as they should. Then suddenly she realised it was still July 22nd! As she explained, ‘I didn’t want the baby to be born on the 22nd because I have a system for remembering everyone’s birthdays which is based on threes, and there was no way I could make a three out of two twos! Without telling the midwives this (they would think she was mad no doubt) she told them she needed to lie down, so she lay on the seat they have in the kitchen which doubles as a spare bed and relaxed, hoping everything would slow down… until midnight! After that she said to herself ‘Right, now let’s get on with it!’ and the baby was born on the 23rd. I did laugh. She is the only person who would think of something like that, and the only one who could possibly manage it! PS: She is a mathematician All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2025.