Instrumentally Yours: Theme From a Non-Existent TV Series

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”Once again in Louisville, it’s 47 degrees with a thunderstorm.” Yeah, that’s right. the middle of November, and it’s cold…and thundering. And I wonder why my knees and sinuses are hurting. Meanwhile, here’s another instrumental for you to enjoy. Theme From a Non-Existent TV Series - Elton John Phew! I don’t have to listen to @porwest complain about “yeah, it’s a TV theme, so it shouldn’t count.” The show this is a theme to doesn’t exist! Yeah, just Elton John’s sense of humor (sorry, humour). Now, if you’ve read any of my discussions, you know that Elton John was my teenybopper idol (wow, was that really 50 years ago??? Dang, Elton, how’d you get so old!! ). So what I’m about to say may shock you. This album, generally, sucks. Blue Moves was a double album, just three years after the masterpiece Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. While that album had a clunker or two (there are very few albums that don’t have an off song or two, especially when the rest of the album is astonishing in quality), it still stands as one of the defining albums of the 1970s. Also, you have to remember that Elton was averaging (between albums and non-album B-sides or non-album singles like “Philadelphia Freedom” or “Step Into Christmas”) a new album’s worth of material every six months between 1971 and 1976. Sooner or later, the well was going to run dry. With this album, boy, did it. There ARE good songs on this album. The memorable hit from this album was “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word,” but there were great cuts, especially “Cage the Songbird” (with backing vocals by David Crosby and Graham Nash). Even songs like “Tonight” and “Bite Your Lip (Get Up and Dance!)” were good but too drawn out (“Tonight is a fabulous four-minute song…the probably is that it’s over eight minutes long on the album). Short review: this would have been an above-average single album, a really good EP, and three or four outstanding non-album singles. As a double album, it has more filler than a package of hot dogs. While this might be considered throw-away, it’s also a fun instrumental. The title takes it from fun to funny. Suddenly you’re trying to envision a TV series that could use this as a theme. So such luck. And this probably wasn’t the Elton instrumental you were waiting for (more like “Funeral for a Friend”), but it’ll still give you some enjoyment. And, if not, it’s only 80 seconds long. Theme From a Non-Existent TV Series Written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin Recorded by Elton John From Blue Moves, 1976 “And Ann B. Davis, as Alice!”