Is it important?

@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
August 13, 2008 7:16pm CST
If you are married do you wear a wedding band? Do you think it is important and meaningful? Or do you use it just because it is tradition? I don't really attach much importance to a ring. It doesn't really measure anything within my marriage. Sometimes I wear mine, sometimes I don't. I tend to react badly to metal even gold sometimes, so I often have to take it out for a bit to avoid a big rash. But the main reason is that I don't really find it that meaningful. It's a ring. MY husband used to wear his all the time until the day that it got caught in a nail at work and he ended up with a cut that needed 26 stitches. I told him never to wear it at work when he was doing that kind of job. He is not working at the same thing anymore so he wears it again. But as he jokes it's more from habit than anything else. Which is true. What about you? How important is wearing the wedding band? And what does it mean to you?
4 people like this
26 responses
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Aug 08
well i guess for me its important ..its a symbol of being taken and the union of the two person and is sacred to me..but i only wear jewelry when im out and not really at home.not comfortable wearing one at home..
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Aug 08
i guess ..yeah its a symbol and sacred thing..since it was blessed..but im not really comfortable wearing anything in my fingers even a wedding band(ring)at home..
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
It is as we view it. In your case it does carry symbolism, thus it's important.And that's how I think it should be viewed. What it means to us:) It's one of those things where there is no right or wrong. I am curious at why wearing it only when out, doesn't that make it a symbol more for others than ourselves? And if that is so, doesn't it become less important?
1 person likes this
@nic_knick (739)
• China
14 Aug 08
sorry to hear that your husband got 26 stitches while working .hope he is okay now. i think wearing a wedding band or ring only means a tradition, maybe people really get used to wearing those kind of stuff during wedddings. they might feel a bit strange when they see someone doesn't wear wedding band or ring. i think it is totally alright coz it all depends on what you think if you think you and your husband could be happy without the wedding band or ring . then i think you will be really happy if not. do not let your nose lead by other people . you are yourselves. good luck
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
Tes, it's mainly a tradition and wearing it depends on the perspective of the wearer. I don't think there is a right or wrong. It's what both feel about it. Personally I was never that traditional LOL I just think that it is worn sometimes for the wrong reasons, or if not exactly for the wrong reasons, more for others than for oneself. Since I was never that worried about showing things to others, wearing mine, or not, is not that important.
1 person likes this
• China
15 Aug 08
fully depends on what you think.
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
well, for me it is.. am not married yet, but i have a ring given to me by my boyfriend and i wear it all the time. well, it's emotional value i am giving to the ring, but aside from that i want other guys to know am engaged. well, it's more like of an engagement ring that my boyfriend has given me. plus the fact that he is always not here. i mean, he is out of the country for 8 months in a year because he works abroad, so i really have t keep the ring in my finger!!:)
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I understand that. You like to wear something that was given by him. That makes sense.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
15 Aug 08
I guess it is the significance that binds to it during our wedding that makes the ring special. I wear mine due to that significance. Cos it makes something special in my life. But like what you said, it is, after all, just a round band of metal. By itself, it holds no meaning other than being an accessory. It is only valuable because we gave it meaning.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
15 Aug 08
YOu are very right, and your answer is extremely meaningful. It is the meaning we give it that makes it important, most certainly. THanks for a great contribution to this discussion.
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
18 Aug 08
You are most welcome my friend. We are all here to share. You brought up a really interesting topic. And the responses to this discussion is also a good read.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I don't wear mine very often any more, as we often have over 30 degree (F) change in temperature between air conditioned buildings and the extreme heat we have here in the Mohave Desert, especially in August, our hottest month. I seem to differ a full ring size depending on whether we are indoors or out, and in order to wear a ring big enough to be comfortable outdoors, I would be at risk of it falling off and getting lost every time we went shopping or whatever, as most of the buildings are kept quite cold. I am more interested in keeping track of hubby when we are out than my jewelry. It doesn't mean a thing. How we treat each other is what matters.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
WHen it's hot I have more of a tendency to react to the metal. I guess perspiration interacting with it makes it worse. Personally I don't see why a piece of jewelry can say how much my marriage is important better than myself. That's why I don't find it extremely important to wear one - or not. So, as often , we are on the same wavelength :)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I wear my ring at all times, for three main reasons. First, I do it because I love my wife, and I want the world to know. Second, I wear my ring because it tells women who try to hit on me that I am already taken. Thirdly, I wear my ring because if I don't my wife might become angry enough to divorce me. And who could blame her?
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
It's really nice that you are not afraid of showing the world that you love your wife. I appreciate that quality. I just don't necessarily think that the ring itself can send that message as a rule. As for being a shield to stop potential hitting on from other women, well... it's actually a turn on sometimes - or so I've heard - and I think the message comes across better if you don't need the shield, and are able to tell them you're not interested. Now the third reason I really understand :):):) My main point is that it is not the ring that says all those nice things, it's us. OUr attitude, the way we interact with others, the way we show we care for our spouse. The ring... well, it's just a piece of jewelery:)
@kate635 (126)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
You are right especially on your second reason. I've also noticed that when you have this thing on your fingers, this prevents women/men from hitting at you. But in may case, when I sense someone advancing, I just plainly tell the guy. Sorry, but I'm already married, that a more clearer statement for me since here in our country not only married people wear a wedding ring but those who also want to wear it just for the sake of wearing it.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I agree with you. I prefer not having the need for a piece of jewelry to talk for me:)It takes more commitment to be able to say " sorry I am not interested, I am married" than to expect that the ring sends the message.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Aug 08
I do wear my wedding ring all the time....but it is more from habit. For a couple of years after we were married, it did mean a lot to me to be wearing the ring. But I don't notice it anymore...and since I don't wear too much jewellery, it's just one of the things...and I don't bother.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
It's true that things become an habit and sometimes we don't pay attention anymore. And that's why I"m not too keen on seeing it as very important. What I feel and do in my marriage tells more than what I wear :)
@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Aug 08
You are so right...and I believe the same.
@bugbaby (1787)
• Indonesia
14 Aug 08
not really important i think,,,conditional on the place and important to whom wanted to show off how precious their marriage.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
15 Aug 08
True. Of course also conditional to what is more significant, a ring or day to day actions in the relationship.
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I guess I never really thought about it but I wear mine mostly out of habit. Plus there's a lot of tradition involved in wearing it. I do think it's meaningful to wear your ring because it shows that you ARE married and you love your spouse. My husband wears his too and I hope he wears it because he loves me..
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I've noticed that most people mention habit and tradition. I think that makes sense. I guess it does show that one is married - although not necessarily. But I am not so sure that is shows and measure that one loves their spouse. Actually when I wear mine, I wear it because I love it LOL I like my wedding ring, but I don't see it as a measure of how much I love my husband.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I wear two, my diamond solitaire and a cheapie sterling silver celtic style band. Eventually I want to get another band but it's not of importance right now. I like having something unique. I don't tend to wear other jewelry that often, I guess I'm just not into many accessories. This isn't to say I don't have jewelry but I never remember to wear it lol! My rings mean something, at least to me. My husband does not wear one because at work it's a hazard. I don't think he's allowed to because of the risk of something happening like what happened to your husband. When he retires, I will get him a band and probably engrave something on the inside. I do wear mine out of habit, I rarely if ever take them off. Recently I had to have them sized down because they were starting to feel very loose, but that was the only time I have had them off my finger other than when I get a manicure occasionally. I feel naked without them, it is very strange. Almost like going out without your wallet or cell phone.... or forgetting to wear a bra! To me it is a symbol of my union, my husband's love, and of my commitment to my husband. It shows OTHER people (hopefully) that I am married and therefore NOT on the market. I chose these rings, so they are something that complement my style, they are very *me*. I would be very upset if someone told me I could not wear my rings.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
15 Aug 08
As I said in another response it is what it means to us personally that counts. In your case it is important, regardless of the reasons, it is what makes it special in such a way that you would not feel ok if you left without it. It is a good thing that hubby's work does not allow him to wear it, from the experience with my husband, I would really have preferred that they told him he couldn't use it at work. I really like the celtic bands. Me and hubby discussed getting one because we both like them, and we might get them at some point. I would probably wear one of those more often, not because of the symbolism or that I feel it as showing commitment, but just because it is the kind of ring that I like :)
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
Wedding band is important in marriage because it symbolizes the spirit of marriage. I don't know what others say on this matter but for me it is important to be visible in the partners finger all the time.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I like the idea. The symbolism. And if you believe in it, then it certainly is important for you. That's what counts, of course:)
@vimaal (3361)
• India
14 Aug 08
hi friend, sorry pa i didn't get married now. Because now iam 19 years old only. But after i will married i wear wedding band in my future. take care.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
Yes, when you get married you get to decide if you will want to use it or not. It seems that you will, and that's fine too:)
@maryann82 (133)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
i'm and operating room nurse so whenever we have medical surgeries to assist i have to take my ring off but as soon as i'm done with work i wear it again cause it means a lot to both my husband and i... we're quite sentimental that we want to wear it always.... whenever i leave the house my husband alkways asks me if i wore my ring and he'd be all smiles when he sees it on my finger and it's quite comforting to know he values little things that binds us
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
The sentimental value is one of the ones I respect the most as a reason to wear a wedding band. It's not to show anything to others, it's not to remind me that I'm married - my marriage would be in really bad shape if I needed a ring to remind me of it LOL - it's not because it's what others do... but sentimental value, I get.
@Udemma (6)
• United States
14 Aug 08
If you are married and the relationship is meaningful to you then I believe you wearing the ring will act as a constant reminder of the union between yourself and husband. I believe it is also sends a message to onlookers that you are married. Ultimately it is an individual thing some may wear it as it is traditional at the end of the day it is about what is meaningful to you...
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
15 Aug 08
I hear you, but if you are in a relationship that is meaningful to you, do you need a reminder? As for onlookers, maybe the ring used to be a deterrent before, but unfortunately it is not so anymore. In any case I find it more meaningful that if someone is interested either me or my husband have the integrity to say" No, thanks, I am married and not interested" than using a ring to give the message. Words are less equivocal. You are right, of course, that it is an individual choice depending on many things including tradition.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
14 Aug 08
I usedto wear mine at all times but look where it got me lol The Ex Husband never wore his but hey it would have given it away that he was married wouldn't it lol
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
Hello, dear one :) Yeah, it can mean lots or nothing at all, isn't it? that why I prefer no to listen to the ring, and pay attention to what the person is telling me with their actions. Seems more logical :):):)
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
I wear my wedding band as a sign that I am proud to be married to my husband. It also serves a s a reminder that I am married & no chance anymore to fall for other guys. And as a reminder to guys out there that I am no longer available. lol
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I'm sure you don't need the reminder :) I think before it used to work better as a deterrent for others that might otherwise be interested, but I don't see that it works that way now. Pay attention around you. Wearing a wedding band does not stop anyone anymore. I do like your first reason, and I think it makes it important for you to wear yours. That's the point. It can be important and meaningful and in that case wearing it is a must.
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
14 Aug 08
It depends on how you look at your wedding band. Its significant in terms of loyalty and committment. It shows the world you are with someone and shows others that you are already taken by a true love and so stay away and respect your situation in life. That, in my view, is what a wedding band does, in fact, show.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I am not sure if it's the ring itself that is and shows all that. Maybe I am being cynical but I have seen people wearing their wedding bands all the time and no show any loyalty or commitment. It makes the ring as something not that reliable in that field. As for showing others that I'm already taken, why do I need to show others? It doesn't even make them stay away that much anymore. Believe me, it doesn't. Plus I don't necessarily feel that I need to show others anything. If anything I show others that I value my marriage and am committed to it, by who I am and how I act within my marriage. A ring won't give me that. That said, I have to add, that I think that it's great when someone believes in the ring being all those things and that it is that important for them.
@mscott (1923)
• United States
14 Aug 08
It is not important to me. I never wear one. I do a lot of stuff with my hands and I have never liked having any jewelry on them. I often don't wear a watch either. We purposely bought a very inexpensive band because I knew I would not often wear it.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
I don't wear a watch either. Or any jewelry as a rule because of the aforementioned reaction to metal. For me not to react to even gold it needs to me 18K and up, a bit expensive LOL As for wedding band, I do wear it sometimes as I said, and sometimes I don't. I just don't attach any special or very deep meaning to it.
• Sweden
14 Aug 08
Yes i do wore my wedding ring,I think it is important because this is the symbol of our married and it is meaningful because i have this ring when i get married .I use it because it is a symbol that i am married and also it is tradition.I take off my ring everytime i do some watching or cleaning like when i clean the fish that kind of stuff.My husband he did not wear his ring because it is too big for his hand dont know what happen maybe his hand become smaller than before so we need to fix it dont know when.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
Tradition seems to have a lot of weight in the list of reasons of why people wear their wedding rings. WHich is normal, of course. Being a symbol makes it important for some people as well. I guess that it what's important, what the rings means to us. I might wear mine because hubby choose it for me, or because it reminds me of him, or because it brings good memories. But I do not wear one for others to see, or to show others that I am married. For me, "others" have nothing to do with it. I wear it, or not for me.
• China
14 Aug 08
i do think wearing the wedding band is not a must . only you love him and he love you .i think this is enough
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
You're right. It's not a must. People might wear it or not , it doesn't necessarily change what they feel for each other.