Do you tell people?

United States
January 12, 2009 1:47pm CST
When you go on a diet or try to lose weight, do you tell others that you're trying to lose weight? I don't like to tell others, because I feel like if I do, then they'll watch to see if I'm losing weight, and they'll notice if I don't. I'd rather they just notice that I've lost a little weight without them actually looking for it, you know? It's getting to a point I won't even tell my husband when I'm trying to lose weight. He means well and everything, but he's just not very supportive when I try to lose weight. He doesn't help me stay motivated and he's always saying "go ahead and eat that, it won't hurt you". I've asked him to be more supportive and help me stay away from certain foods while I'm trying to diet, but he's just no good at telling me no, lol.
3 people like this
20 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
13 Jan 09
I don't tell people either. I feel the same way. I would feel like the would constantly be watching me. My husband also is no help. I have asked him a couple of times to help me stay on a diet and eat right. Next thing you know he is coming in with a couple of cookies I've made and he brings me some too. I thought of doing weight watchers again but I don't want to go to the meetings by myself. I might sign up online.
• United States
13 Jan 09
I have a friend who's done weight watchers. Actually she's been on it for years. It has worked rather well for her. She dropped a few pounds and her cholesterol is in check, which was her main purpose for going on it. I've heard it costs money though, and I can't afford to pay for something I might not stick with.
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
Hi there. Its nice to imagine that we will loose weight, but considering that it is so hard to do it. Me too is having a hard time lossing weight. Anyways about your situation with your husband, for sure he just love you the way you are, thats why his not making any moves to encourage you about lossing weight. In the same sense, me too, big or small, huge or thin, it does not matter. As long as i love her then ill accept her. Just take this advice, dont push your limits, if being the way you are does not interfer with your work, freinds and your husband then, stay as you are. Good day and God Bless.
• United States
13 Jan 09
Well I don't like my body the way it is, I am overweight and I'm not happy about it. I'm not trying to lose weight for my husband, friends, work, kids, or anyone else. I'm trying to lose weight for me, so I like my body better. That's more important than anything else.
13 Jan 09
Sometimes I tell people. I think if you actually say the words out loud then it helps with your mental state of mind and motivation. Having said that, I agree with you that it is nice if people do say "you look well, have you lost weight?" rather than them judging you week by week when progress is slow. I have to keep reminding my husband not to offer me sweets and chocolate. When he says "do you want a chocolate?" I usually say "Yes of course I want a chocolate!" in such a tone of voice that it reminds him that "No, I'm not having chocolate at the moment" is really the answer to his question. But remember, they are only men, we can't expect too much from them. :)
• United States
13 Jan 09
My husband has actually gone out and bought me boxes of chocolate when he knows I'm on a diet. Again, he means well, he just doesn't always think, lol. My problem has always been moderation. I know he's right, one piece of chocolate isn't going to hurt me or ruin my diet. But I can't stop at one piece of chocolate, and I know that. That's why I have to stay away from it all together. If I have 1, I'll want the whole box. He seems to think I can just stop after 1 chocolate. In a way he is right, the more I deprive myself, the more I want the chocolate, and it eventually ruins the diet. I just don't have the will power to allow myself one piece and that's that.
1 person likes this
@kiwibee (240)
• New Zealand
13 Jan 09
The last time I went on a diet, I decided to keep it a secret. That's because in the past, if I diet for a bit and start to have some success, and then I tell someone what I'm doing, I inevitably "fall off the wagon" within a day or two! Seems I dilute my resolve if I chat about it to anyone. I stuck to that for a few months too and did quite well, but I did not remain on it as long as I wanted. I did better than normal though. Losing weight is pretty much the most difficult thing a person can attempt, in my opinion. And even if the person with you is supportive, just knowing that they know can make it hard for you to stay in control. Well I've depressed myself nicely with this post :-( Oh well! I need to lose more than a hundred pounds, that's why!
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
13 Jan 09
I knew when I'd gained too much weight...got so many rude comments. I was always trying to lose and I did not tell anyone. Eventually, people got used to me being larger and at least those comments stopped. I'd always been underweight so it was a big change when I put on a lot of weight due to meds i was taking. It took forever for me to lose. I was used to being on weight gain programs...eating everything and not gaining a pound. it was tough. I got off the meds and expected the pounds to drop...they did not. I will say that I drank tons of ice water and that does help with metabolism....I think it helped. All of a sudden, people were commenting and it felt good. I didn't even know how much i'd lost until my daughter requested a scale as she was concerned about her weight. I have lost 30 pounds and now I have to battle being underweight again. I'm border line...I think. The weight issue sucks both ways. Right now, I'm still revelling in the compliments but it is a fine line. Underweight is just as hard to correct. At least overweight people have plenty of diets and tips. how often do you pick up a magazine that the cover story is to help underweight people? ya...right...never!
• United States
13 Jan 09
I never have to worry about being underweight, it's just not in my genetics. It's impossible for me to be underweight. I have a larger bone structure, so even though I'm only 5'4", 130 lbs is the absolute best I could ever hope for. That is a good, healthy weight for me. Anything less and I'll just look sick. I'm actually hoping for 150, that's where I was before I had my twins, and I thought it was a good weight, I was wearing a bikini at that size, and I was hot. That's a good weight for me. I've got a ways to go to get there though, not even sure if I ever will.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
13 Jan 09
hey kats! I tend to agree with you! It is best not to tell anyone when you are dieting! People seem to put more pressure on you if they know that you are on a diet. Or they do like your husband and tell you that you can have something that they know that you shouldn't have and are purposely trying to stay away from! I also don't like to tell people that I am on a diet. I'm not very good at dieting to begin with so I don't like it when someone makes a comment which just ends up making me more angry! I have enough trouble trying to stick to a diet without someone annoying me about it!
• United States
13 Jan 09
And if you tell people, and then decide to indulge in something they'll say "Should you be eating that? I thought you were on a diet!". It's best to just keep it to yourself.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
12 Jan 09
I don't normally tell people. I am never good at sticking to a diet, so if I tell people that I am dieting and then I don't stick with it then they will say something. I don't really deal well with motivation from other people anyway, so telling them really would not do much good.
• United States
12 Jan 09
I agree, I'm no good at sticking to diets either, so that's part of why I don't tell my husband. He'll just groan because he knows that all it means is I'm going to make the family eat healthy junk for a few weeks before I give up and go back to sitting on my fanny eating ho ho's all day, lol.
@GreenMoo (11842)
22 Jan 09
Though I never try to lose weight, I do occassionally try to alter my diet or make other resolutions. I very rarely tell my family what I'm trying to do. It's not that I don't think they'd be supportive, more that I prefer to fail in private!
@quawertz (781)
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
At times I do tell, when people are asking why I eat so little. But then when I tell someone that I am dieting or losing weight I tend to eat more. So I have learned to not tell anyone when I am on a diet.
• United States
13 Jan 09
It really helps if you have others that are working on the same weight loss goals as yourself. People who will support you and help you keep motivated. I would not suggest you tell your goals to everyone, because some peole can be real negative. Surround yourself with positive people who are working on similar goals and you cannot go wrong.
• China
13 Jan 09
I agree with you!There are so many things that I don't want to tell others.Because I don't like the sence that other people can know what I will do and why I did something.I am a bit fat.I would rarher others just notice that I have changed!The surprizes I get from their eyes are the world!Maybe I'm a little vanity!But that is ture what I don't want to tell other people about my own things.
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I rarely think about my weight maybe because I don't weigh more than I should. Maybe i would be worried if I did. Cheers!!
@lellyp (245)
• Indonesia
13 Jan 09
Heheheh... he just not want see you suffer. When am try to diet am never telling any body, just do it. When they notice am look little bit more slim they will said "Hi u look be different, what happen?" and i just said "Oh.. really? woow that great isn't?," and smile to my friend. I have some problem like you when am telling to my bf i want diet he just smile, and said OK. But he never said something sound support me, but now i know that not cos he not support me. That because he afraid any comment from him can hurt my feeling, so he think much better he not said anything when am said i want eat steak for my dinner lol.
@wahmivy (778)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
I've had the same experience. When I announce my intentions, it seems to me that everybody's out to sabotage my efforts, lol. I'm in the middle of trying to lose weight (again), but now I feel I ought to tell somebody so it's more official and I'll be shamed into a commitment. :)
• Philippines
13 Jan 09
No. I usually tell people I don't go on diets. So that people wouldn' expect me to lose any weight. There are times when you tell people you are on a diet and when they notice no improvement and they tell you that the diet doesn't seem to have any effect on you, it can be a little discouraging. It's better that the only time they will know you are on a diet is when they can see that you are losing weight already.
• United States
13 Jan 09
I think that it is important to let some people know. That way you have a support system, but it is not everyones business. I tell everyone I know which is not many people because I have few friends. So it is not a big deal. I trust these people and they all are here to help. If your husband however is not helping then it may help you to find a different support system. Maybe of people you don't know but people that are just like you . I use sparkpeople.com it is free and you can join groups to meet people. I am also thinking about joining weight watchers. So i hope that helps.
• India
13 Jan 09
i will not tell them even my best friend as i wanna give some suprise appearance of mine when they see me as thin as before so dont tell them and keep it confidential and enjoy ur diet and give them a shocking appearance
@ag6390 (65)
12 Jan 09
i never tell anyone when im trying to lose weight because if i do i feel like theyre watching me when i eat anything... telling me with theyre minds that it isnt working lol xx
• United States
12 Jan 09
If I feel I need a support system, then I'll tell people that I'm trying to lose. Otherwise, I keep it to myself and like hearing, "Wow, you look great! What's your secret?" Um. Diet. :-)
@baileycows (3669)
• United States
12 Jan 09
yes unfortunately I tell certain people. They never think I am serious because I can never seem to stick to a diet. So I won't tell anyone when I get serious again. I am so tired of failure and my friends don't really try to help. It is like they don't want to diet and don't think I should either. My husband is skin and bones anyway and eats 4K calories a day he doesnt even have to diet ever so he has no idea what it is like.