Why Didn't He tell me?

Well maybe it hasn't sunk in yet with him. When I got pregnant the first time my husband didn't seem that into it and I was upset. For him it didn't seem real till he could feel the movement in my stomach. Or maybe your son isn't as excited about it as his girlfriend is. It is a big deal to tell your parents especially if you aren't sure how they will react. Maybe he was worried that you wouldn't approve of the fact that they weren't married yet. I would just ask him about it and tell him you felt a little hurt.

I would imagine that your son is in a state of shock. There's not a more immediate way to end 'childhood', regardless of age, that to realize that you are going to be responsible for another person who cannot take care of themselves. Then, of course is the change in the relationship with his girlfriend. They've been together for 5 years because they want to be together. Now, with parenthood looming, they are bound together...whether they choose to get married or not. It could be that he is happy with their relationship and doesn't want to be harped on to get married. His girlfriend may (or may not) already be doing that. Perhaps they drew straws to see you would be the one to tell you...lol. I have a funny story about that. When I was in my early 20's I lived with a man for a while. My mother, being Polish-Catholic always harped on two things. "Why don't we get married?", and, "You can't get pregnant, you aren't married." I loved my mom dearly, but I really got tired of the same litany. Then I got pregnant. I didn't tell her for 2 months, because I wasn't sure how she'd react, but I had to tell her. So I waited for the next litany that I knew was sure to come. And, when it did I said, "Mom, you lied to me. You said I couldn't get pregnant because I wasn't married. Well, it didn't work because I did." She didn't talk to me for 3 months. Over time the relationship I was in ended, but my son was her only grandchild and she just loved him to pieces. They were always very close and remained so until she passed away four years ago. We did have many laughs over how I broke the news to her. For your son, I wouldn't recommend aking why he didn't tell you. I'd call him and just congratulate him. Maybe just your acceptance is all that's holding him back, or if there are other issues, maybe he will open up and talk about it. Just be supportive, as I already know you will be. We'll be your sounding board here, ok? Oh, and congratulations GRANDMA!

I was in the same position, i just think he didn't want to hurt you, maybe not knowing how you would react. my mother and i were very close but i wasn't married at the time and thought she might be alittle hurt so i held off awhile. boy's ( men ) dont like to hurt mom in any way.

He is not the big bell ringer and hey we are PG as he isn't. He is being a good boyfriend and letting her have her time to tell everyone. Men are oh ok honey so we are having a baby. So yes your being a little silly as he was being sweet and letting her shine as all new Mommys to be love to tell people. Or maybe he was scared you would yell at him your not married what is wrong with you.I know you wouldn't but some Moms would do that. Wedding first what happened to my wedding firstthat is what my girlfriend did to her son. He went out and bought her flowers and told her you missed the wedding. We got married last week towndown after classes. Ok she was mad. I laughed my behind off as she is do bossy not on that. So yes your fine don't be hurt as he was letting her shine as it is her moment she gets to do all the work later. OUCH. your friend onlydia. CONGRADULATIONS GRANDMA

Well, most probably he doesn't know how you would react to the situation because they are not married yet. I think I would show him how happy I am about this news and let him know that I will be there for everything. Only then I would ask him why he did not tell me personally. There could be also other reasons therefore, you should talk to him.

hi fasttalker, Actually this type of news is good when girlfriend only express to the boy's mother coz this was totally related ladies issue if any baby was born the the boy will get happy and he will share with others including with family members... so that is not all an issue that your son was not telling you so be happy and wait for a cutee baby................ Regards RK

That's really very sad and bad. Your son should not have had done so to you. Good but at least his girlfriend is not the same to you. I can understand what you are going through when your child is doing so to you. So i advice you to stop bothering and don't ever make him feel that you are hurt by this. Let him do as he wants as it is he is not bothered to talk to you.

do not say anything to him would be my advice. when he calls or visits then give him a big kiss and hug and leave it alone! My eldest son did the same thing to me but leave it alone. Men do not think that same way as us so he didn't realise that you would have preferred to hear it first from him. Trust me on this one - leave it alone. Many blessings and may she have a good pregnancy and an easy delivery.

I think I would be a little hurt it wasn't him that told me or at least been there when his girl told you. Do you think he's happy about the pregnancy? If he's not..it could be why he's not being so involved in the announcement to you. I think if I were you I would just congratulate him and see what happens. If he's a private person there may be more going on within his relationship than you know. Not that that's a bad thing because we know it's not all peaches and cream with anyone. There just may be something that has nothing to do with you he's dealing with. Heads up fasttalker! You haveem a grandbaby comin! Congrats!!!!

A new baby is a happy thing. But it could also be a stressful thing - a lot of financial burdens especially if marriage is on the tables and if he is the breadwinner. Maybe he just needs to sort things out first.

I don't know about your son, but men sometimes can be really blunt. He wouldn't have realised that it was important that he let you know about the baby in person. Women on the other hand are more aware of situations that concerns emotions. Probably there is nothing wrong at all. So I would brush this thought aside and be happy and congratulate him. Maybe he is expecting your call and wondering why you haven't called him yet lol

You have to sit down and talk to him and I am sure he will describe you the reason.He must because you are his mother.I think it is no point to think why and why he did it and so on.It will be only worst because it turns only on bad thinking so I think you have to sit down an have a talk..just say how it continues be strong...

I think communication is the best method. From what you said I know that you are very concerned about your son and happy to know the news. Maybe your son was just afraid you would blame him because of his wife's pregnancy before marriage. So just let him know you are very happy. And do more communication with your son and his girlfriend. I believe your relationship will get better.

I don't know that I'd be too concerned with it... a lot of guys thing that its "the girls job" to announce pregnancies, engagements, etc. Maybe he wasn't sure of what your reaction would be... there are a laundry list of reasons I'm sure. I'd just say something to him that although you adore his girlfriend it would have been nice to hear it from him, and just straight out ask him if everythings ok and such. Good luck with easing your mind... I'd just enjoy the thought of having a grandbaby! Oh and CONGRATS!!!

I suppose maybe he assumed his girlfriend would tell you? While men are often ecstatic about a family, women are more likely to talk about it with everybody and start planning things like baby showers, etc. Maybe your son didn't want to rain on his girlfriend's parade - ie being the one to share the good news. Since you mentioned you've known her for five years, and you have a good relationship, it makes sense to me. I think that I WOULD ask him later why he wasn't the first to tell me, and I would take his answer at face value, accept it (whatever it was) and move on. People sometimes have odd reasons for why they choose to do or not do something. I would hope that I find out directly from my kid(s) when they get serious, engaged, married, have children but I have to take into account that sometimes *I* have not done things the way anybody would have expected - yet I wanted them to just accept it, not question my motives lol.

Hi fasttalker! Hmmmm! This is a tough one! I don't know what to say! He is your son and you know him best! I would be careful I guess. I would wait to see how he is when he calls you back. I would congratulate him and see how he responds. I don't know what I would say next. It would depend. I wouldn't hold back for long since it is bothering you and you do need to get it out! He is your son, so you do have that right to say whatever you feel! For goodness sake you are going to be a grandmother!

Maybe he thought that you would like to hear it from her, or maybe she really wanted to tell you herself. Don't feel too bed, when I got pregnant with my second-born, I didn't tell my family right away. I was marrying him and didn't want them to think that I was only doing it because I was pregnant. We hadn't been together very long. They found out at my wedding. My new mother-in-law and my Mom were talking about how sick I had been the nigh before and all that day. My mother-in-law said, well, at least we kow it isn't the flu. That's how my Mom found out. I planned to tell her after the wedding anyway, but because she already heard from someone else, she was a bit hurt that I hadn't told her. I wasn't trying to hurt her, I just didn't want her to think that was the reason Iwas getting married.

well first congratulations!! and second, I think I would be hurt as well that they didnt tell you together... I mean they made it together, so why not tell the grandparents together... I told my parents by myself but that was because it was all in the timing of when it came out... but with my husbands mom we told her together both times... I hope they are both happy with it, and that they are ready for it... it is a life changing event...

Be happy!! Maybe he is still processing the information himself.

I feel (being the same age as your son), as silly as it sounds, he may be embarrased to tell you, not because he is ashamed or worried but maybe because he feels he should have gotten married first. Is that how he was raised? Do not get offened this is just my opinion. For myself I was brought up Roman Catholic and that just what we were taught, so I put myself in the situation and I think thats how I would feel-a little embarrased. But to answer your question-unless he wants to talk about why he didnt come forward right away I dont think you should bring it up, just congratulate him and embrace the moment as it wont last forever.