Negligence at School Created Extreme Embarassment for My Daughter
@princess07031980 (5412)
United States
September 25, 2009 3:50pm CST
I just picked my 2 kids up from school a while ago and I was appalled to see the condition my daughter was in when she came to the car.
She was in tears, soiled in her own feces, from her arms to her legs, all the way down to her sock on one side. She started to explain to me what happened, and I could hardly understand her through her tears and inability to calmly speak because she was so upset.
Of course, at first, I had thought the teacher would not let her use the restroom, and made her wait too long. I marched her, my other school aged kid, and my toddler in my arms to the office to make a complaint. We saw the principal directly, as I wanted her to see the mess my daughter had all over her. Obviously she didn't make it to the bathroom in time, but what exactly happened? Oh, and by the way, my daughter just turned 7 in August.
Well, apparently the teacher did allow her to use the restroom, so my daughter proceeded to the restroom closest to her classroom. She could not use that bathroom because it was locked! In a hurry, knowing she had an upset stomach and had to make it to the next restroom fast, had to run to the other side of the school grounds to use the other restroom, and began having an accident en route to the next restroom. But by the time she made it in there, she had soiled herself, and she held her arms under her body to avoid anything falling past her shorts. She was too late, had become filthy in the process, and was ultimately humiliated and devastated that she had such an accident in in front of her peers.
That is not fair to her! Why on earth do they have the bathrooms locked at a place where children are? Shouldn't she and the other students have been notified, if that particular bathroom was out of service? Then- I was speaking to another mother who has kids who attend the school too, and she told me she knows that the door sticks so bad, and at one point she said she heard kids banging on the door from the inside, screaming they were stuck inside. That is uncalled for and not only can a humiliating experience like my daughter's happen, but children can actually be trapped in a room with no way to escape! I am outraged!!
What can I do as a parent to get this problem brought to the right people's attention? This needs to be fixed NOW!!
5 people like this
16 responses
@Sweetchariot (1718)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Since the principal of the school did do anything, I would head for the Superintendent of the schools in your area, and report the school, principal, and teacher. I would go to as many places as you can go to correct the situation, and have them make it right for your child. That event may follow her for the rest of her life in school ..and her self esteem will drop drastically.
Those bathrooms should have been inspected before school opened. No excuse!
3 people like this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
25 Sep 09
I agree that the bathrooms should of been inspected before the school even opened...
3 people like this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I feel that this is a huge problem and that this is defintiely costing children-at least mone-her integrity and mental well-being. We all know other children can be cruel and take other's mishaps and turn them in to an ongoing joke for a long time to come. My daughter is very sensitive to feeling embarassed at times. But who wouldn't be embarassed in this type of situation? I mean, it wasn't just the fact that she soiled her underpants, she had physical evidence all over her body of her accident. I can see my daughter running to the bathroom as she is leaking all over herself with tears of humiliation and who's fault is this? Because she was unable to get the bathroom in time because out of 2 restrooms on campus, one was not available.
1 person likes this
@dlr297 (5409)
• United States
25 Sep 09
So sorry to here what happened to your daughter, It is going to stay with her for the rest of her life, and it should never have happened...
If i was you i would get a hold of the school board tomorrow.
and i would also get a hold of the fire station because that is a fire hazard. what if she had been in their and the school had caught fire.
2 people like this
@gloamglozer (1289)
• Australia
26 Sep 09
I don't know why a school would ever keep their restrooms locked for. At the school I went to, there were teachers or groundsmen that opened all of the restrooms before school started. This is just ridiculous!
1 person likes this
@tonika1980 (155)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Good point about the fire station. I didn't even think of that. Something definately needs to be done with the way schools treat our kids!
2 people like this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I am not trying to be flip. But why not go fix the door yourself? I am sure the school would love to have it fixed but most likely do not have the resources to get it done. I am not making light of what happened to your daughter. I would be outraged as well. Something so easy could have avoided such an awful experience.
Maybe if the first time there was a problem with the door, if a parent would have jumped in and fixed it, this would not have happened. Just a thought.
1 person likes this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I won't go fix the door because I am not a handy man for one, and that is pathetic is a student's parents have to become responsible for the lacking maintenace on the school grounds. Schools generate funding by the thousands every year, and certain positions are mandated-(janitors, handy men, cooks, etc.) They have to have certain qualifications and pass certain health and safety classes and for reasons that are important!
1 person likes this
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
26 Sep 09
That should have never happened at any school. If the other parents knew about this door, why didn't they say something before this happened?
This is another reason it is advisable for all parents to visit the classroom in the school before your child attends, even if it is the same school they attended the last year. You have a right to check the classroom as well as the restrooms and talk to the new teacher and principal if you see anything that is not up to par. . This should be reported As Soon As Possible to the School board, then ask them to let you know when maintenance has been done on that door. Pay a visit to the school and check it yourself just to be sure. It only take one person to make a difference. And another thing why didn't the principal call you to pick her up so she wouldn't have to face her classmates and be embarrassed like that? I would be writing or calling the school and the president of the School board every day until I got some answers.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Does the school that your children attend have a site based decision making council? If they do I would approach them as well as the superintendent of the school.
I do remember that when I was in school there was a bathroom that was occasionally locked but it was in middle school and the reason that it would end up locked is because some of the students in the school would use that particular restroom as a place to smoke.
I believe, however, that the bathrooms in elementary schools don't even need to have a door. The ones at my daughters school don't they have a little entry hallway and the only thing that they do when they are wet is put up the wet floor signs, but don't block access to the restroom all together.
1 person likes this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I don't know if there is a school site council or not. Well, the campus structure is set up with every building accesible from the outside, not set up in hallways. I am not usre what that type od campus structure is called, but it is very common in California. Meaning there would have to be a door on the building to protect it from the weather and what not. Tomorrow is Monday-I will be calling the unified district office tomorrow, and be in touch with someone. If nothing else to demand an inspection to see what type condistion that door is in.
1 person likes this
@tonika1980 (155)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Try going to the superintendent. More is usually able to be done if you take the problem directly there, rather than try dealing with teachers and principals. Like you, I would have been outraged. Okay, so I was almost in the same shoes as you just a week or so ago. My 6 year old didn't make it to the restroom in time at school. She had an upset tummy, and ended up with diarreah. She told me she didn't get to the restroom because someone was already in there, and the rule is that only one kid at a time can ask to go. The school nurse called me, since I had to go pick my child up due to the upset tummy. When I got there...probably 20-30 minutes (at least) from the time of the accident, my baby was still in her soiled clothes. She was sitting in the nurse's office with all of her belongings, kids going in and out of the office. When I walked in the smell was overwhelming. Of course, I am Mommy, so I could handle it, but what must all of the kids who were going in and out have thought? What must my baby have felt like to have to deal with that embarrassment? I was rather ticked. I took her to the restroom, helped her clean up, and changed her into the outfit that she had in her backpack. Yes, she was prepared just in case of any type of accident. What got to me the most was that, considering she had a change of clothes, they did not let her go in and clean up. They made her sit there until I got there. Why do schools do this sort of thing to the kids. Aren't they supposed to be taking care of our children while school is in session?
2 people like this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
29 Sep 09
I would be calling everyone involved in the school. I would also call the local TV stations and newspapers. I'm so sure they would just love a story like this.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
Hello princess, I find it hard to believe a story like yours would take place in a school today. Surley there is someone who's responsibility it ie to take care of these matters, a janitor, cleaner or handiman. If I were you, I think I'd follow this up, as this kind of situation might affect your daughter mentally. She must have been so embarrassed, and could have problems facing her peers again. I would sek the principal who is responsible for accessability to the toilets, and maybee have that person, explain to your daughter's class that the problem has been fixed. Let's hope your daughter can overcome the embarrassment quickly. Good luck, and take care. Mike.
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
25 Sep 09
I would be outraged as well.....I would go to who i could in higher authority to complain about the maintenance at the school...The principle and the teacher they should of notified you the minute this happened so that your daughter wasn't so embarrassed about it not make her wait til school ended.So that she could have put some clean clothing on...
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Why on earth would the school not call you and ask you to bring her a change of clothes for one thing?
I agree the issue with the bathroom door should be addressed before something like that happens to another student. The issue should have already been addressed. I would be pissed if I were you. Your poor daughter now has to go to school and face the kids who will be teasing her(because lets face it kids are cruel).
1 person likes this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Well, this happened in the last few minutes of the school day. My older son, the baby, and I were waiting for her, when she showed up about 5 minutes later, in that awful condition. I surely hope that it doesn't happen to another student and yes, I will have to make a complaint to the schoolboard to get it fixed.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I would be so mad you could fry an egg on my head. I guess I would documant the event and present it to the school board. I'd do that after talking to the principal. If they refused to take action..that's when I would present it. I would also be documenting any other incident that happens as long as she in that school. If there were more..I would consult a lawyer to help make sure things are changed. I'm not one top scream sue over every little thing but this is pretty extreme to me. If there is a danger to the children plus a lack of accomodation..there's a huge problem.
1 person likes this
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
25 Sep 09
It does seem that is both a danger to children and a lack of accomodation. Bathrooms are not optionals here in the USA-we have rights to health and safety, which this incident seems to violating. My daughter seems to be fine-she has not mentioned the incident at all and has been downstairs playing the neighbor girls. I am lucky she is resiliant, but of course it's Friday-we'll have to see what is said if anything come Monday.
1 person likes this
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
27 Sep 09
That is so sad and so apalling, Princess!! I feel for your child and for you, as you must be livid! 
I would bypass the principal and teachers and go directly to the superintendent or the head of the school board.
Whomever you call first, I would make sure action was to be taken that very day! Check to make sure it has been done. If that doesn't get a response, write a letter to your local paper and contact other parents as well as the health dept. and any other authorities that could take immediate action to address the situation.
Let us know what happens!
Karen1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
26 Sep 09
hello princess,
I am glad that you were there to see it, this is an insensitive part of the school that they should do something about the damn door. so sad they are neglecting maintenance, come to think of it,you didn't pay the school for such inconveniences.@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Exactly, they have money set aside for everything, why not for a new door hinge? Could save some much more severe and devastatingly high costs in the future. Oh yes, we will be calling tomorrow to make a complaint.
1 person likes this
@wlee9696 (595)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I realize that schools can't prepare for every problem but this was uncalled for. Regular maintenance of things such as bathroom doors is just good common sense. Your child has experienced a horrible and preventable trauma. There are some school officials that need to apologize to her in front of her peers. I would go all the way to the State Department of Education. I cannot think of a single plausible excuse for why the school's negligence has allowed this to happened. Then to compound the problem by not offering help and solace to the child. Heads need to role.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
29 Sep 09
That is absolutely uncalled for. As I read this, I thought the child might have been in a pre-school or something (and that would also be uncalled for) but in a primary school where the children are old enough to be embarassed about this kind of thing? That is just crazy!!! And the sticky door? that's illegal, I think. Talk to the school board, and if they give you smoke, contact an attorney.
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
26 Sep 09
This is just awful! They need to do something about that door! I've never heard of any such thing! I can imagine how your daughter must have felt. I know she was very humiliated. I'm glad you took all of your children and went to the principal about this. It might be a good idea to go to the Board Of Education about it, too. Like you said, maybe they can get the door fixed NOW!! I hope it works. Kathy.
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Well, they certainly better have a miantenace crew to work for the school or that for sure would be in violation! They have to have things fixed constantly I am sure to guarantee the safety of everything on the school grounds. You know how people love to sue-but even lawfully, people will sue when it comes to the safety of their kids! I am going to call and make a complaint to the head of the district because it needs to be addressed for sure. Emabarssment to the wrong person can make that child feel inadequate and embarrassed for life. A student who is trapped in there could actually be missing for a while, and the school could be held very liable of a number of offenses because of that/
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
26 Sep 09
This so true! I don't believe in suing people, myself, but I got to thinking last night after I went to bed that this school could be sued for negligence. I hope that the head of the district can do something about this and I hope it never happens again. Kathy.
Kathy.