What Could Cause A Child To Do This ?

@EvrWonder (3577)
Canada
February 9, 2010 12:09am CST
Imagine you are in a department store. While happily browsing the merchandise, you come across large tables topped with apparel, all the way down the long isles. To your surprise there is a small child, maybe two, possible three years of age, on her back under the table, kicking the bottom side, yelling the F word, consecutively. "F***, F***, F***, F***, F***, F*** .." What on earth? Obviously enraged but then some. What in the world could cause a child, yet so small, to do this? Seriously. Any opinions? Moms? Dads? Child Care Workers? Your opinions please. Shocking. It wasn't long until the Mom came along to retrieve the child.
6 people like this
40 responses
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
10 Feb 10
The "F" word has been so widely accepted in today's world, and it seems if you are repulsed by the word you're in the minority. I, personally, don't care for the use of the word. In fact it was our daughter's first word! We were in a crowd of ladies from the church we were going to when my daughter got a happy look on her face, her eyes sparkled like diamonds under a spotlight, and I knew trouble was coming. She looked up happy as if she had fallen into a vat of ice cream and uttered the famous word "F-CK"! She got that from her father. I nailed him about the use and managed to get him to quit using it. Then, we were talking to our pastor when my daughter got that same look. I tried to get my husband to finish the conversation, but no such luck. Again, with this thrilled look my daughter uttered her first sentence "Bull $hit!" Another of my husband's favorite sentence. I got him to quit using that too. People don't realize how awful that word sounds coming from their mouths. Handsome men and beautiful women seem to turn ugly when they consistently use that word. Even my son in law used it constantly while they were staying at my home. I finally nailed him that I didn't want that word used and I didn't appreciate being woken up first thing in the morning to his throwing a fit using the "F" word and slamming around my home. I don't use the word and also try to control my usage of other vulgar words, unfortunately one of my favorites is $hit. Which I am trying to replace with a less vulgar word, it sets a bad example for the youth of this country...but what do we expect when the words are used in song lyrics, profanity is allowed in the movies and on television and in "literature"?
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Good points and well said. True enough that there is far too much profanity in movies, music and on the street. Good for you for slamming the swearers. I would and do do the same. i often use the words when I am in the company of those using it also. I'd rather just mix it up a bit so to not use the words but the point still gets across. Replacing a less vulgar word with another does not work in setting any better of an example. Thank you for your response.
@rlaff94 (20)
• United States
10 Feb 10
Hes excited because he learned a new word that hes not supposed to say, and she likes being defiant.s
2 people like this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Do you think at two or three years of age, the child actually knows that the word is a wrong one to say? Can a two year old really be that manipulative? Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
9 Feb 10
To your surprise there is a small child, maybe two, possible three years of age, on her back under the table, kicking the bottom side, yelling the F word, consecutively. "F***, F***, F***, F***, F***, F*** .." Well it could be an unruley child who has learned bad behaviour from his or her parents/caregivers/family etc OR it could be a child with Tourettes..who also unfortunately has been exposed to less than savoury language...OR it could be a child who has other mental disorders who again has been exposed to bad language...There really are several possiblities
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
Hi Raven, well the mother was in an isle not far from the table that the child was under. It was a three story store. We were on the top floor. There were tables down the center isle and then isles off to the right. The mother was in an isle off to the right. The Mother seemed a bit embarrassed while retrieving her child and off they went. That was it.
• Grand Junction, Colorado
22 Feb 10
I agree with Raven, I think that the child has been exposed to bad language, but think that this was more than a tantrum. You mention that it sounded like a chant, this could also be a sign of autisum. Children with autisum typically don't like to be around crowds and will try and go off to a place away from others, chanting is not uncommon, nor is curling up and rocking or banging their head against something. So what you may have seen was a child with a medical condition, showing symptoms of a medical problem. If this is the case then I hope that the child is getting the necessary medical treatment and the parents are learning coping skills on how to handle such outbursts.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
24 Feb 10
Hi bean; I too hope that the parents are learning ways to cope with how to handle such out bursts as well. To me is seemed more than a tantrum also. Very bizarre. Thank you for your response.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hello Evr, I think the child used to hear the word *F...* And,the child used to see the family fighting and freaking out the same manner the child is doing. The child doesn't mean what he/she is doing...it is a normal thing for him/her when feeling bored or had tantrums. And what he/she acted is from what he/she sees on his/her surrounding(the family) How family member acts and treat each other inside their homes contribute a lot to a child's behavior. And,a child doesn't know what is right or wrong...but,follows examples he/she had seen or heard from older people around them.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
True enough jaiho, thank you for your response. I agree that children live what they learn and this is a perfect example. Sad.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
yah,this is really sad and alarming. if the child will go on with that kind of surrounding...what does life ahead for this poor little angel?
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Yes, I know and have wondered also. I wonder what the childs home life is like. Definitely an incident that has stuck in my mind more than others, that's for sure.
• Estonia
5 Mar 10
I am sure it's parents' fault that this kid is using such terrible words in such a young age. I find it awful. I think that the father or mother of this kid weren't watching their language while having this kid nearby. I wonder if the very first word of this kid was "F***" instead of "mommy" or "daddy".
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Mar 10
I find it awful as well. It was rather a disturbing incident to say thre least. Who knows where the child picked up this language and behavior. Parents are responsible to care for the child however. F*** probably was the first word that the child learned. Disgraceful. Thank you for your response.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Feb 10
EvrWonder hi I have a quick solution to that , a little child that young repeats the actions of his parents, I will bet either dad or mom got upset by something and maybe even sat down and kicked at something and yelled F@@@ ,F@@@, F@@@ until he or she got over being upset. children are great little mimickers and often repeat the same exact actions of the parents.Shocking yes, but understandable as one of the parents or an older brother did this same thing when angry. I hope the mom explained to the child that that is not acceptable behavior then either she or dad or the big brother realized their child or brother had got this bad action from watching them. shame on whoever taught that sweet litle child such ugly behavior.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Totally! Shame on them. I agree that child do live what they learn and well, I don't know if the Mom explain to the child or not. They just went on their way. Very bizarre. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
9 Feb 10
Hi EvrWonder, Very very sad that this should be happening but perhaps not surprising. There are are great many children everywhere who are not loved and treated as they should be. I don't mean to place blame here because often when parents are not doing a good job, it's because of the way they were raised. It often goes back many generations. Parents as well as children need help in such cases. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Hi Pose, It is sad and was surprising, to me anyway. I was shocked. It is hard to fathom those many children that are less fortunate and being treated less than best. It is heartbreaking. I understand the cycles that can go on and on for many years and so perhaps the Mom and even the Dad had a less than best upbringing themselves. Good point. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 10
Hi EvrWonder, I know that came to a shock to you. It would have me also. My boys are 15 and 25 they never did such a thing because they knew better. They would whine and were told right then to stop or there would be a punishment because big boys do not behave like that . The child learned the word at home there is no doubt of that. The part that surprises me is that the mother allowed the behavior. Why wasn't she right there to stop and change the child's actions? Any parent will tell you especially in today's world you never walk away from your kids to look at something because they just may be gone when you turn around. You hold their little hands and if they are to immature for that then they stay home with a sitter.
1 person likes this
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Good question. It appeared that she was busy shopping. She did retrieve the child but did not appear to punish the child in any way. I guess that the child learned the word at home also. There could easily be outside sources so I am just not positive. It was alarming to say the least. I agree that if the parents can not keep an handle on their children and be too busy shopping then to look out for the childs best interest, perhaps they should of left the child home, with a sitter. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
10 Feb 10
Children learn exactly what their parents teach them. If you do not punish improper behavior, then they will learn improper behavior is alright.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
I agree that children live what they learn or rather learn what they live and likely learned this from their parents but I am not sure. There was no reprimand at all. The Mom just got the child and they went on their way. Thank you for your response.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Hi andy, thank you for your comment and I believe you are right. I understand what you are saying by just telling them doesn't necessarily work. It is frustrating when we see parents who are not very good at that job but are in the position anyways. i am sorry to hear about your screen door. Just the other night, all of us within a city block had our cars spray painted. That's right, spray painted!! Luckily I had a friend who was caring enough to bang on my door at five am to tell me so I could go get it off before it set. Luckily too, there was a fair amount of dew out so that helps not let the paint set very fast also but some others were not so lucky. To this day, there are cars that are still covered in squiggly lines of paint. It is currently on crime stoppers. Too bad that you didn't call the police on the kids when they were shooting up your door but I guess that you were not at home at the time. I understand exactly what you are saying and agree. Wo knows what happened to the child. They went on their way and is all I know besides that I was shocked.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
12 Feb 10
Sometimes it's not worth the trouble. The screen door cost somewhere around $20, whereas the people across the street were scummy to begin with. I might have bigger problems with them. Now later, they vandalized my car, but it was likely a different set of kids. I wish I had that on camera. Really ticked me off, and I didn't have money to fix the car.
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
my knee-jerk reaction is that these kids have a television overdose. they hear those things on television. if not, they hear that four-letter word too often -- at home, in the neighborhood or from somebody they regularly go with... sorry for them, their parents should be responsible in giving them a good upbringing...
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Hm, could be too much R rated television. Sad. The parent should be doing a better job of parenting perhaps. Who knows what the family dynamics are. I just hope tings get better for the child. Thank you for your response.
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
we always hope for the better, especially for children. that's why, parents should find time to spend with their kids, particularly in those growing years when children are trying to develop their own thinking and are looking for examples to imitate... bad examples bring bad kids... as parents, we don't want that to happen to our kids...
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
I have met some who have come from extremely miserable backgrounds but are some of the nicest people. Perhaps not 110% productive members of society but a truly genuine, kind and gentle being.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
10 Feb 10
You just hit the nail on the head.... That child could not have gotten it anywhere else.... Also consider TV and company that comes to the house.... When we had our granddaughter we did not allow language like that in our house and we also were picky about what we watched while she was awake....
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Hi agirl, thank you for your response. I believe that television could be a source of the childs problem. Hard to say but hoping for the best for that cild and the childs future.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
12 Feb 10
Unfortunately this child is not off to a good future he/she is already acting in that way.....
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Hm. Perhaps but hoping for the best perhaps their is room for improvement yet, what do you think?
• United States
9 Feb 10
Wow! Umm, the only thing I can say is that she hears it at home, and often. Also, she learned the behavior she was exhibiting at home too. I hate to speculate, but there is a lot wrong going on at home. At that age, a child is like a mirror, she was only doing what she sees at home, and to do it so loud like that, it has to be on a constant basis. But this child nor her family seems to be in your realm of people, so one can only hope that someone close sees this problem and gets the family the help they need.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
I agree and I wished I had done more at the time. I believe that the child has learned this behavior, likely at home also and to assume that it is on a constant basis could be rather accurate. It was loud and it was aggressive. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Feb 10
Don't beat yourself up over it, there isn't much you could have done anyway. No matter how much we speculate, none of us here are a witness to any of the goings on in that child's home. And even if you were to call the authorities on a speculation, how were you going to hold the mother and child there in the store until they arrived? The only thing that any of us can do about this situation is to pray that God works it out.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
Indeed and thank you. I do hope for the best.
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
I dont think there are decent people who would actually teach the child such behaviour. I am guessing that the parents and the people the child is always around with may be using such words regularly that the child has picked up. A little child is very vigilant to his or her surroundings so whatever there is that adults, especially people he/she trusts, are doing may seem right to him/ her. I am also guessing that technology might have had a great impact on this child's life as well as other children of that generation. TV and movies are everywhere, even my very little brother knows how to operate my laptop. Technology is fastdeveloping and maybe a lot of parents are having a hard time living with the frequent changes of everything. THese children obviously need guidance and teachings and I hope it is not yet the end. I hope parents would be responsible enough to correct their children's behaviours. parents should do their job.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Perhaps those around the child are not exactly decent people.Maybe I should of handled this incident in a more responsible way, IE: Calling child protective services. It didn't appear that the adult that retrieved the child was at all angry. Maybe a slight bit embarrassed but not exhibiting any sort of leadership considering the incident. T.V. does have impact. Thank you for your response.
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
That's sad to know. A normal and decent guardian would have taught the child a lesson immediately after the said incident. I think it's also normal to at least say sorry to the people who witnessed that act. They should be responsible for what the child does and they must be really embarrassed about that because it is not an innate thing for a child to exhibit such a destructive and dirty behaviour.THat kind of behaviour will actually mirror the guardians behaviour as well. Children do have tantrums at times but with regard to that child, it isnt at all normal.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
Interesting comment calai, thank you. I am afraid that the child may be mirroring the behavior of the guardians. My first impression said that this wasn't at all normal behavior either. That it seemed more than just a tantrum.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
it is really shocking to hear little kids shouting words like that. and you know what many kids as young as two years old speak this word already. they have pick up this from their playmates or maybe from their immediate household (parents, siblings etc.). this is really alarming as little children should not speak words like this F*** instead of i love you, thanks you... they are growing in the environment when people are carefree about the words they are saying. they do not care if little children might pick up their words for they knew this just right. sometimes elders are happy hearing their child speaking the F word so the child may have the wrong perception that what he/she have said is right.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
9 Feb 10
I agre that swearing for kids is very inappropriate but for a two year old, it is shocking to say the least. I believe that there are some things a child just shouldn't hear. What do you think about the kicking as well? Under the table, kicking at it all the while screaming at the top of their lungs ..
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
you are right. there is problem with the kids. they are yet so violent. maybe its of the environment they grow in. the kicking maybe an excuse since they are kids and are playful. but again this is not excuse since it will lot easier for the parents to discipline their children at their younger years. the parents should be the one responsible for their children's behavior because they are the one who should know the right and wrong.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Hi, I feel it is likely a result of their upbringing for sure and can assure you that this was not a playful scene but an angry one. The kid was very upset. Good point about parents being responsible for their childs behavior. Take for instance dogs. There is no such thing as bad dog behavior but bad dog handling. Perhaps the parent are bad child handlers. Thank you for your response. You make a good point!
• United States
9 Feb 10
Well with a child of that age it sounds like the parents or someone uses those words around the child and not knowing any better the child thinks it is an acceptable word.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
9 Feb 10
Hello Wise, i agree that someone must use that word around a child that young for them to have learned it but what about the kicking too?
• United States
9 Feb 10
Kicking could just be a temper tantrum from not getting their way. Our kids have went through that without the swearing of course. I think ever kid goes through the temper tantrum stage and if not could someone please tell me the secret because our youngest just turned one so I am figuring in a year or 2 we get to go through the tantrum stage again. We do not swear around our kids because we know first hand kids learn what they hear. Our 3 year old son recites commercials he likes so just think if they hear a word they think is acceptable especially in the parents or someone they look up to uses
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Well that does sound logic. I recall having tantrums when I was little too. I think it can be common with children. I am sorry but I do not know what the answer is to avoid them. From a childs point of view, as I recall at the times I had a tantrum, I think if the child is simply spoken too, asked questions and explained to why they can not have what they wanted that triggered the tantrum or whatever it was, that this may help, perhaps. Thank you for your comment.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
11 Feb 10
My guesses: Tempertantrum with some really bad role models. Tourettes syndrome with people who have used that word around the child, said it shouldn't be used, so only during corprolailia moments says it over and over again. Combination of the two.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
11 Feb 10
People keep writing that it's Mom and Dad. Maybe, but maybe older brothers or sisters used the word around the child or someone who takes care of the child while the parent works. At any rate, one should never assume it's the parents, they might not even use the words. But if I heard them yell, "Get of F off the floor now," then I would know for sure where it came from.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Good points and surely the child could of picked up the word from someone other than the parent but rather someone else, perhaps a caregiver. Perhaps the childs role models are less than best. Tantrums apparently are common in two year olds and this kid was very upset, I can attest to that. Thank you for your response(s)
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
13 Apr 10
Children always seem to pick up on the words that we don't want them to use. Obviouusly there is someone around that child that uses that kind of language. I remember when my daughter was small, she picked up B**** from my mother-in-law and decided later that same day that she didn't want her grandma to change her diaper and said, "Stop you B****." The language may not come from mom and dad, but someone that the child is around on a regular basis has used that kind of language.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
26 Jul 10
Wow. Your daughter not only learned the word but the context as well and so quickly. I am sorry for you. Children do seem to pick up on bad language, from one source or another. Having watched raising of children from my siblings and such, it is so difficult to shield them, all of the time. I agree that the child had to of been exposed to such language in order to have learned it. Thank you for your response.
@mishyyu (217)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
TV I say is the number one cause.. well, in my opinion.. TV + bad behaviour + spoiled brat + didn't get what they want + tantrum x A.D. syndrome= "on her back under the table, kicking the bottom side, yelling the F word, consecutively.." lol
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
26 Jul 10
Hi mish; You make an excellent point. I have to agree with you, however, it was not at all funny, re: lol. It was quite a sad sight to see. Thank you for responding.
• United States
14 Mar 10
i lived with a family for about a month and they had a child about 3 years of age who would constantly tell you to suck a dic.k or call you a fa.ggot or scream eat my pus.sy!!!! and various other things in fact me and my girlfreind had caught her masterbaiting a few times it was sad. it was because she didnt exactly have the best mother and brother i wish she would be taken and put into a better home but the mother had to many strings to pull. hopefully this just make her a stronger person when she grows up
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
2 Apr 10
OMG this is disastrous situation for the child. Did it ever cross your mind to report the behavior of the child to protective services? They could look into it and perhaps place the child in a more appropriate environment. The behavior of this child represents that she may have likely been sexually abused. No doubt she will be a stronger person but I feel not without intervention. Thanks for your response.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
12 Feb 10
To use that word that freely, the child would have to spend several hours a day in an atmosphere where the word is used freely. That place was probably the home, but it could be the place where he or she is receiving day care.
@EvrWonder (3577)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Good point that the child may ave to be in an environment for several hours a day to learn to use that word as much as the child was. I believe that the child may have picked the word up from a caregiver or from someone within the home. I hope things get better. Thank you for your response.